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I started to get the notion that my variant was so/sx when I kept getting social as a result. But what were some of the clues that led you to see that I could be a so/sx?
Well for one, you are similar to myself (though i'm an sx/so) and 4w3 in my tritype, but You have a distinctly friendly nature to your posts, and even from your user-name, it seems to me that you are always present of the social dynamic between yourself and others, a sort of social consciousness that serves as prevailing thread with people, I guess it's like always wondering how you 'fit-in' . I do the same myself but it's a bit laxed, and as long as I have good friends or something engaging to think about, the problem doesn't plague me as much. Plus i've noticed with so/sx or sx/so fives, there is always a rather eccentric political element to our interests, heh, look at your Goethe quote, :p I'd expect a quote from Rousseau next, or Thomas paine, or William Godwin after that Goethe quote. Plus I have an so/sx 5w4 friend, and your vibe is similar. Also my gf and my best friend are so/sx's (though they are both 4w3 INFPs), the energy is still there, it's pretty cool, but I suppose the two variants can relate to an extent (of course there will be key differences).

See if you relate to the below

Social/Sexual

When reasonably healthy, people of this subtype can be very engaging (for a Five). They smile a lot and are often friendly. Their energy is quite different from the social/self-pres subtype because both the social and sexual energies push outwards, and so partly balance out some of the withdrawing tendencies of the Five. This doesn’t mean that people of this subtype are necessarily any healthier however. The outgoing energy is not the result of true integration to Eight but is the result of the compulsive pull of the instincts. People of this subtype are usually warm and when feeling secure are likely to let people in and even to initiate contact. When they feel insecure however, they can actually go to the other extreme and be very shy. For this reason, people of this subtype could easily be mistyped; those Fives who withdraw from social contact because of feelings of insecurity, might not seem like social subtypes at all. It might not be obvious that they actually very much desire contact. For people of this subtype, the social instinct actually works as a release value for the sexual component. When relaxed and comfortable with others, the sexual instinct can easily be seen.


People of this subtype are very aware of how they “fit in,” and also experience the sexual drive of wanting to connect with intimates. Like other social/sexual subtypes, they have the tendency to cultivate many relationships. They want to be liked by everyone, but being Fives they also tend to hold a part of themselves back for fear of rejection or of being overwhelmed by the demands of the relationship. This subtype of Five is more likely to fear rejection than the other subtypes of Five. Because both of the dominant instincts are focused on people, any failure in the realm of interpersonal relationships triggers a fear that there is no safety in the world. Personality systems like the Enneagram function as tool to help this subtype of Five to feel safe in the world. People of this subtype tend to think that the more they understand people, the less chance they have of being rejected. This tends to be a blind spot for people of this subtype as they don’t see that what will actually help them to become healthier is gaining more life experience. This will help them to see that their world will not come to an end with a little rejection.

taken from here


Also I wouldn't use those tests as a good indicator of stacking, I think it's more of a personal, soul-searching kind of thing, well at-least it was for me, of course your experience may differ.
 

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Yeah, I've found the variant tests to be lousy. I think as a 5 it's pretty tough not to get sp in the top two. Social is always my lowest, and yet.... the so/sx description is very much me (the type 4 so/sx describes me well, too, but the five is better). Something to keep in mind with a withdrawn social type- I think, especially when unhealthy, they can become profoundly anti-social. Or, they can hide out in their house and spend lots of time on the internet on forum sites such as this! ;)
 

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5w4 So/Sx INFP here. The below description is spot on.

Social/Sexual

When reasonably healthy, people of this subtype can be very engaging (for a Five). They smile a lot and are often friendly. Their energy is quite different from the social/self-pres subtype because both the social and sexual energies push outwards, and so partly balance out some of the withdrawing tendencies of the Five. This doesn’t mean that people of this subtype are necessarily any healthier however. The outgoing energy is not the result of true integration to Eight but is the result of the compulsive pull of the instincts. People of this subtype are usually warm and when feeling secure are likely to let people in and even to initiate contact. When they feel insecure however, they can actually go to the other extreme and be very shy. For this reason, people of this subtype could easily be mistyped; those Fives who withdraw from social contact because of feelings of insecurity, might not seem like social subtypes at all. It might not be obvious that they actually very much desire contact. For people of this subtype, the social instinct actually works as a release value for the sexual component. When relaxed and comfortable with others, the sexual instinct can easily be seen.


People of this subtype are very aware of how they “fit in,” and also experience the sexual drive of wanting to connect with intimates. Like other social/sexual subtypes, they have the tendency to cultivate many relationships. They want to be liked by everyone, but being Fives they also tend to hold a part of themselves back for fear of rejection or of being overwhelmed by the demands of the relationship. This subtype of Five is more likely to fear rejection than the other subtypes of Five. Because both of the dominant instincts are focused on people, any failure in the realm of interpersonal relationships triggers a fear that there is no safety in the world. Personality systems like the Enneagram function as tool to help this subtype of Five to feel safe in the world. People of this subtype tend to think that the more they understand people, the less chance they have of being rejected. This tends to be a blind spot for people of this subtype as they don’t see that what will actually help them to become healthier is gaining more life experience. This will help them to see that their world will not come to an end with a little rejection.
 
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so/sp makes most sense for me. I go through periods of being super introspective/reclusive/isolating, but it comes and goes. I can be really social at times, but don't feel really sad or lonely if I don't have many friends. This always confused me, but it makes sense now.
 

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Sexual/Self-pres

This subtype has a lot in common the self-pres/sexual instinctual stacking. They experience many of the same internal conflicts surrounding relationships, the need for independence and emotional expression. The sexual/self-pres subtype differs however in being more intense, more counterphobic. They entertain more dark nihilistic ideas, ideas that most others don’t want to consider.

With this subtype, a lot of energy revolves around the issue of boundaries. Sexual/self-pres Fives tend to forge strong connections quickly and deeply, but if they feel betrayed, begin to feel overwhelmed, or if they feel that the connection doesn’t serve their true needs, can seem to cut the connection precipitously and “go cold.” They have high standards for significant others. They must feel that they can share their emotions with a significant other without being judged. This is their private world that they share. Relationships can be difficult, because individuals of this subtype will still want their own space and alone time, while at other times will want intense connection. Because the social instinct is least developed, this subtype is not very concerned with how others perceive them (except their intimates). This subtype is deceptive in that they may not seem to be especially intense - until they are engaged in a conversation they find interesting. Then the intensity and emotion become apparent. The internal struggle for this subtype is similar to that of the self-pres/sexual, but more energized and volatile, and getting to know this subtype means getting to know that.

When unhealthy, the energy of the sexual instinct can combine with the dominant type Five fixation to create a very impulsive Eight-like anger. The strength of their convictions can then come out quite forcefully.

This is all very true of me aside from forging strong connections quickly. I don't do that.
 

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This may help with understanding variants and identifying your own stacking:

Interrelationship of Instinctual Drives

A noteworthy point of interest with respect to the Enneagram Instinctual Subtypes is that the dominant instinctual drive (self-preserving, social or sexual) will shift to the other two subtypes as needed to ensure its influential role in this trialectic instinctual system. The way in which the dominant subtype employs the other two appears to be very specific and predictable. The dominant drive maintains the role of the commander in chief and the other two are channeled through its lens. Generally, this is very primal and often unconscious. This is especially apparent with respect to the human drive to seek a mate and pair bonding, but applies to all areas of life. If a relationship displays conflicting instinctual needs the dominant drive perceives it as a threat to security and acts accordingly. Confusion about the manner in which the instinctual drives manifest to create and maintain a sense of security is often the root of misunderstandings. Such disturbances in the instinctual drive are often the catalyst for seeking counsel or therapy.

Self-preserving moves to Sexual: For example, the self preserving subtype considers a mate as an essential need to maintain and insure security. Therefore, when in search of a mate the self-preserving subtype will feel anxiety and suspense until a mate is secured. In order to attract a mate, the self-preserving subtype will shift to their respective sexual instinctual drive to accommodate this fear. Outwardly the self-preserving subtype will behave like the sexual subtype, pay more attention to their desirability and will be sensual or flirtatious. At first, the self-preserving subtype will spend more time one on more with the possible mate. Once the mate is secured, the self-preserving subtype will return to basic routines that ideally would include the mate. An area of pain and disappointment for this subtype is when they have a mate that is unwilling to pay attention to issues of security and disrupt their need for inner calm.

Social moves to Self-Preserving: The social subtype will think in terms more indicative of the self-preserving subtype when selecting a mate. This is very important to insure the desired security that rank and social status can provide. The social subtype seeks a mate with a shared social vision and similar values. This is necessary to fulfill the desire for a mate that will join them in their activities. Therefore, a secure social position is essential. Much attention is paid to the potential mate?s connections, rank and ability to provide financial security. This subtype enjoys bringing others together, feeling that ?the more the merrier?. They are often adept at creating the center stage and often use their home for social events, gatherings and causes. At first the social subtype will spend more time one on one with the potential mate. Once the mate is in place, the social subtype will return to outside interests, groups and/or activities, ideally, this is with their mate. An area of pain and disappointment for this subtype is when they have a mate that is unwilling to pay attention to their need for people, activities, causes and unwilling to share their interest in others.

Sexual moves to Social: The sexual subtype (one on one) will seek the greater world or social arena to find a desired mate. The sexual subtype is normally happy tucked away in a secluded setting with one significant other. However, when alone or in search of a mate, this subtype will behave much more like the social subtype. One must be with others to find ?the other?. Once the mate is selected, the social activity will be replaced by the dominant drive for time spent in union with the other one on one. At first the sexual subtype may spend time with the potential mate in the company of others. They become a pair even in groups. Then when the passion for deeper connection is ignited the sexual subtype will want to bond totally with their desired other. When the mate is determined, the sexual subtype will return to one on one style of relating. Ideally, this is intense time spent with the desired other or mate. An area of pain and disappointment for this subtype is when they have a mate that is unwilling to pay attention to their degree of connection and intimately share their deepest and innermost thoughts.
Source: Enneagram Instinctual Subtypes
 

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@barathrum i changed my subtype after reading this. my test results were always sp/sx, but i thought maybe i was sx/sp instead. this additional information confirms sp first. thanks.
First, I thought I was sp/sx, now I'm so/sp.
 
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Self-pres/Social

In the average health range, this instinctual stacking is warm, friendly, and loyal. They need their down time and have no problem spending time alone. They actually value it very much. They feel an energy drain from people’s demands on them. This instinctual stacking is what is described in most Enneagram books. The most notable and potentially frustrating thing about people of this type is the difficulty involved in getting really close to them. While they can usually handle themselves socially, they always hold back when it comes to intensity or intimacy in a relationship which can frustrate a sexual variant type. Others are aware that there is more going on beneath the surface, but it can’t really be accessed. These Fives are masters at minimizing their needs. Even though they shy away from intense personal relationships they often have a lot of intuition about others. Their detached level of personal involvement somehow brings objectivity to their insights. They can be the most practical of the instinctual stackings.

Their issues usually revolve around demands made on their time. This can become problematic in personal relationships. This subtype has an ideal vision of what a close or romantic relationship should be, but given their concerns for protecting their space and time and lacking the instinctual drive of a strong sexual instinct, energy just doesn’t flow in that direction. Because this subtype is good at minimizing their needs they can get along fine with few relationships or without a romantic partner. With the social instinct second in the stacking, they generally do find friends or colleagues and they may even be married, but the need to maintain their own time to pursue their interests is always a point of contention. .
So true, and it really explains a lot about my past relationships. They, and friends too, have always complained that I am "too unavailable" but I need lots and lots of time to myself and have felt guilty about needing it. I dislike demands on my time, even from loved ones, is that being selfish? Yeah, probably kind of...
 

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How should you decide which variant stacking you are?

Based on how you act? What your motives/desires are? Fears? Or how you would act if you were healthy and feeling safe?
For me it was just what I related to most. I originally thought sp but after seeing the descriptions it's clear that sx is definitely first for me and sp is second. Social barely factors into it for me.
 

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I am such a sexual/self pres. Now I know why when I'm angry, I go to such outburst and out of control. Differ from what I usually do.
Because of my sexual variant stacking, I easily immerse with other people, which is against my five ish nature to withdraw and have very minimal connection with other people. I have to be very careful in the social realm, when people got access of my feelings usually they tried to manipulate me, or making me feel bad in a way. I've dwell with a lot of feuds that cost from envious people over my versatility. They think I'm just being a jerk. I don't know what other things I could do, I tried to understand them but it seems human being are born evil and crudely.
I am very sensitive as a person, my insides are very soft and a lot of people have poked on it. Especially girls. Girls are dubious and vengeful. It disgust me to see them, using emotional torment to provoke my weak inner self for their satisfaction.
(Which leads to sexual/self pres)
So people always use the guilt card on me, to get what they want. I easily feel sorry for other people, its stupid.
I avoid any plausible circumstances that will hinder my chance for solitary activities,
Because of this I'm easily agitated and appear more fidgety than any people I know. Or its because I'm a tactile learner? It probably have an correlation, but strong emotion do waver on me easily and I have to use all of my power to resist any kinds of influence.
The description depicts my day to day habit that people find most annoying. Since now, because of my sexual/self pres dark nihilistic ideas, I've been through long term depression and delusions about socializing and peoples motives in general.

I've wish for a school that specialize with five type people. Or I wish I'm not easily provoke by any emotional torment, I rather be a 5w6 self pres/social. Those people don't have to feel what I'm struggling with.
I'm a 5w4 sexual/self pres. Analytical and contempt plus emotionally absorb? Just staying put felt like a roller coaster ride.
 

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I'm a self-pres/sexual....

That description is so me. My social instinct is so bad that when a social situation does come up, I have no friggin idea how to act. I'd rather avoid them altogether, because I see no practical use for them a lot of the time (<-- probably my 6 wing talking). However, I put an unusually large line between socially relating and being intimate with someone. I'm a totally different person with a guy I'm intimate with in comparison to my friends or family. Intimacy equals access to my inner world in my mind....very few souls actually know what goes on in there :x
 

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I'm a self-pres/sexual....

That description is so me. My social instinct is so bad that when a social situation does come up, I have no friggin idea how to act. I'd rather avoid them altogether, because I see no practical use for them a lot of the time (<-- probably my 6 wing talking). However, I put an unusually large line between socially relating and being intimate with someone. I'm a totally different person with a guy I'm intimate with in comparison to my friends or family. Intimacy equals access to my inner world in my mind....very few souls actually know what goes on in there :x
Not saying you're not a social 5, but I just wanted to note that for 5's who are Social first, they typically interact with others through their area's of expertise and are not usually interested in social banter and are also typically the least skilled at "small talk". Social doesn't really mean you're a social person in the traditional sense, but for 5's in particular, they interact more through their ideas and knowledge, whereas a Sexual 5 might interact by trying to form a more personal and intimate bond.

Sexual 5's are typically the ones who are more sociable (as in having more intimate conversations that aren't just about their knowledge collecting), a bit easier to approach, and usually more talkative than the other subtypes. But I know for me, the sexual side only comes out when I'm very comfortable and with people I can truly be myself with. I know that lots of people see me as a very affable person though - I seem to give off an approachable vibe in public, despite not wanting to.
 
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