Personality Cafe banner
41 - 60 of 133 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,697 Posts
SX/SO FTW..

intensely open :)
I like this. Intensely open.

I feel as if it's like... you don't open easily, because you're a four, but then you're super intensely open when you finally feel like you can be. Do you relate?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
405 Posts
yeah.. and in the past, i tended do a 'good' job opening up in the wrong circumstances/with the wrong people.

i always act myself now though, regardless of if people judge. my overall character would be "intense" MOST of the time, but not all. i even rant abt my rare beliefs in these different conspiracies (HAARP, NWO, police state, fusion centers.. etc).. people think i'm crazy or "need to get out more", but i'm dedicated to opening people's eyes to the truth, and realize they are just unhealthy. The 9 mental health levels aren't based off mood but a function of freedom and awareness.

i do the same with the enneagram. i have a lot of acquaintances come through here, so i'm finding myself getting pretty involved in typing people or helping them with introspection.. lol i'm sure it gets annoying, so i've chilled out a bit on that lol.
my energies can definitely get the best of me..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
70 Posts
I can relate to a lot of the insticts but i always score as a 4w5 SO closely followed by 9w1 SX, so the SO/SX does seem to suit me the best, feeling like an outsider, having the ability to be the life of the party one minute and then crawling back inside of my shell the next.

Have any other 4s with an SO/SX stacking been close matches for 9s also? I'm curious.
Yes. I'm a 4w5 and when I read the So/Sx description here I thought, "dead on." Once upon a time, I think I was reading about 9's and I identified with some things strongly, but in the end the whole picture of a 9 is not me. Know what you mean though.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
719 Posts
Self/Sexual

This subtype also cares very much about their surroundings and their possessions. They feel as if these things help to express who they are. There is more of a passionate sense about them as compared to the self/soc. They have more of a sensual relationship with their environment. These Fours are much more tortured by their difficulty with respect to maintaining close relationships. The self-preservationist instinct tends to be in conflict with the sexual instinct, causing this subtype to habitually analyze their relationships to the point where they find it difficult to be present to them. When unhealthy, these Fours can become very disdainful of the social environment. They also start to envy the ease with which others seem to form relationships and maintain friendships. When Fours of this subtype are healthy, they find that they can form relationships without feeling as though they are sacrificing authenticity. They no longer feel that they have to automatically define themselves as "different from others," as outside the group. They are able to see the ways in which their emotionality might cloud their better judgment and to use that insight to establish equilibrium.[/SIZE]
Social/Self-pres

This subtype can mimic type One when it comes to social values. They can be harsh critics of the current mores. They have romantic ideals of what the world should be like; reality always falls short. Ironically, this type can be the most withdrawn of the Fours. Social anxiety combines with the Four's shame issues to make this type feel that the pressure associated with "fitting in" is just not worth it. They are also the most likely of the Fours to intellectualize their emotions and in this way resemble type Five.

The social instinct tends to give the personality a focus on being included, fitting in, or finding a way to make a valued contribution. This agenda conflicts with the Four's sense of being "different from" or "other than." The Four's need to establish a separate identity conflicts with the social instinct's drive towards inclusion. The social Four often deals with this dilemma by defining themselves as being outside the social system. By defining themselves always in terms of the system, even if it is to establish distance, this Four stays essentially tied to it. Fours with the social/self-pres stacking tend to acutely feel a sense of social shame at not quite belonging.

When this subtype is reasonably healthy, they are often gifted critics of the prevailing culture. They develop true insight into social dynamics and have an eye for the nuances and subtleties of social interactions. Many Four writers are soc/self.

Social/Sexual

This is overall the "lightest" type Four when it comes to social interaction. They are likely to utilize charm and humor. This type is more scattered and can be down right disorganized. They can drift through life always feeling like an outsider, yet they usually have friends. They can alternate from being the life of the party to withdrawing. Intimates will know of their insecurities and dark moody side while acquaintances will see a softer, friendlier side. This subtype’s energy is geared towards people, but they never feel as though they really fit in. They are often quite creative, talented people who have many interests, but they frequently lack the energy to actually accomplish what they would like. They can drift and withdraw very easily. When healthy and with the right support from friends (and perhaps a little push) they tap into their instinctual energy. When they do this, they begin to see how much they can accomplish. A positive connection to others helps them stay focused.

I still can't decide which one is me!!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
13,780 Posts
Social/Sexual

This is overall the "lightest" type Four when it comes to social interaction. They are likely to utilize charm and humor. This type is more scattered and can be down right disorganized. They can drift through life always feeling like an outsider, yet they usually have friends. They can alternate from being the life of the party to withdrawing. Intimates will know of their insecurities and dark moody side while acquaintances will see a softer, friendlier side. This subtype’s energy is geared towards people, but they never feel as though they really fit in. They are often quite creative, talented people who have many interests, but they frequently lack the energy to actually accomplish what they would like. They can drift and withdraw very easily. When healthy and with the right support from friends (and perhaps a little push) they tap into their instinctual energy. When they do this, they begin to see how much they can accomplish. A positive connection to others helps them stay focused.

Dead on. This is me. Kinda makes me angry at myself while reading it -.-.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,697 Posts
Does anyone have any info on how one might definitely distinguish between SP/SX and SO/SX??
Since you think sx is constant, why don't you think you're sx?
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,697 Posts
I just identify with those two descriptions the most. Every time I've taken one of those instincts test, however, SP comes out the highest with SX and SO not far behind, and usually even in score.
Read about the instincts in general to see what you might be. Read the different ones for sixes too, since you're debating between being a 4 and a 6.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,055 Posts
@IndyAnnaJoan does this help? It's just the descriptions of the instinctual variants in general and not specifically for 4s. It actually helped me realize I was an sx/so though.

Ocean Moonshine said:
Basic Instinctual Subtype Stackings

The Sexual Stackings

sx/sp
This is perhaps the most internally conflicted of the stackings, and potentially the most inconsistent in behavior. This may occur as a blockage of the sexual instinct which can be redirected as a more generally brooding and troubled personality. They may isolate themselves for long periods of time before reemerging. They live according to a strictly personal outlook and are not particularly concerned with the approval of others outside of their immediate concern. They seem to be searching for something, the missing piece. If they find a soulmate they will unite without fanfare, forming a secret bond, dealing with formalities as an afterthought. Powerful sexual impulses facing inner resistance may manifest symbolically in the psyche, giving way to soulful interpretations of the unconscious. Under periods of stress severe sexual tensions may manifest as erratic, impulsively destructive behavior. Can seem restless, torn between the comforts of a stable home life and the urge to wander. May be prone to self-medicating.
Motivation: to know the heart, reconcile inner conflict, form a secure union.
Familiar roles: the devotee, the seeker, the wanderer
Examples of sx/sp: Prince, Carl Jung, Johnny Depp, Ozzy Osbourne, Johnny Cash, Joan Crawford, Princess Di, Marilyn Monroe, Janis Joplin, Frollo from "Hunchback of Notre Dame"

sx/so
This is the type that exudes the most raw charisma and sexual energy. They may identify so strongly with whatever they're involved with that they often become the symbol of its core essence, and sometimes its lead agent for change. Hardly content with the status quo, this subvariant seeks to alter the fundamental structure of something while at once embodying it's purest or most extreme form. Possibly attracted to radical views on politics, philosophy, spirituality or creativity that reflect their penchant for testing boundaries. They enjoy pushing other's buttons, especially those resistant to their modes of expression. It's not uncommon for them to have a pet social, political or spiritual cause which they're able to support with heartfelt conviction. May exploit and seek to redefine sexuality to reflect their own colorful and uncertain understanding of it. While prone to exhibitionism, they are strongly attracted to grounding influences which can anchor them and provide stability. Failure to satisfy an especially intense desire for connection may cause this subvariant to spite others at the risk of jeopardizing the need for an equal, stabilizing force. Can feel pulled between wanting a life of maximum intensity and reassuring episodes of peaceful convention.
Motivation: to impact others, question assumptions, challenge convention.
Familiar roles: provocateur, activist, exhibitionish
Examples of sx/so: Madonna, John Lennon, Yukio Mishima, Robin Williams, Drew Barrymore, Richard Simmons, Elvis, Bono, George Michael, Sinead O'Connor, Joan of Arc.



The Self-pres Stackings


sp/soc
This type is generally private and reserved, and especially serious and practical minded in their focus to gain material security and in making useful connections that support their goals. When they do form a connection, loyalty is very important to them and they will not hesitate to end a relationship on grounds of disloyalty. This type may lack a certain degree of interpersonal warmth which can give the impression of coldness or disinterest in others, even a sense of selfishness. May be drawn to groups that attract like minded individuals, as in business clubs or volunteer organizations where a shared professional culture can facilitate social bonds. They tend to live conservatively and dress in an inconspicuously appropriate fashion befitting their status in life. May have a characteristically blunt and direct style of communication that can take others some getting used to. They are particularly strong in matters of commitment and sacrifice, and enjoy being the benefactors in assisting society's practical needs.

Motivation: to attain a position of material and societal security.

Familiar Roles: the businessperson, the responsible citizen, the pillar of society.

Examples: Bill Gates, Donald Trump, Martha Stewart, Harrison Ford



sp/sx
These people often have an earthy, mysterious quality to them. They are quietly intense, but to others may seem oblivious to the greater social world around them, instead favoring personal interests. They are slow to commit, but once they do it is with an attitude of life commitment, to the establishment of an impermeable bond. Others can be taken aback by how suddenly and completely this type can lock into them, and by the depth of understanding of the other's condition. They attach to others at an organic, root level, in contrast to the other subvariant's surface formality. Somewhat hesitant to enter new relationships, they instead preserve the select few enduring bonds they carefully form along the way. The sanctuary of home is of paramount concern, and this type takes particular delight in decorating their spaces to reflect their cherished sense of taste and depth. Depth and discrimination characterize this stacking.

Motivation: to live in a secure, comfortable environment where they can pursue their private interests in depth.

Familiar Roles: the mate, the mystic, the quiet supporter.

Examples: George Harrison, Jackie Onassis, Eric Clapton, Emily Dickinson



The Social Stackings

soc/sp
This type is often the most comfortable in group settings, but tends to be a bit formal and awkward in one to one relations. This is the natural political type, affiliating themselves with groups or theories which best defend their social and material interests. They may lack warmth and individual identity and this could lead to problems in forming meaningful relationships outside of a shared social interest. The motivation for this type is to attain status within their chosen sphere - the "social climber."


Examples of soc/sp: Hillary Clinton, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ted Nugent



soc/sx
This type has very strong one to one social skills, but is usually uncomfortable in group settings. They enjoy cultivating multiple relationships, and can be intensely involved when in the presence of someone they are interested in, but have difficulty sustaining these bonds when apart. This may give the impression of being flighty and rootless, willing to adapt and mirror others in order to connect, but lacking a defined approach that would give their relationships a more solid standing. They may have political interests, but are generally more pragmatic and less partisan than the other social variant. They are often attuned to pop culture and the latest trends. This type's motivation is to create lasting connections with those they are interested in - the "best friend."


Examples of soc/sx: Michael Jackson, Bill Clinton, Howard Stern, Margaret Cho, Jack McFarland from "Will & Grace"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,610 Posts
sp/sx stacking fits me both specifically for 4's and in general (thanks for posting those, sad robot). I think I'd rather be a different type (sp sounds boring to me), but in reality living a comfortable lifestyle with people I know well without a lot of social commitments is important to me. I can be rather materialistic and like having a nicely decorated home. I worry about finances and always want to be comfortable financially (and I do worry about this a lot). I attach to people very quickly, though (maybe my sx?) and tend not to let go. I am very loyal.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,466 Posts

Social/Sexual

This is overall the "lightest" type Four when it comes to social interaction. They are likely to utilize charm and humor. This type is more scattered and can be down right disorganized. They can drift through life always feeling like an outsider, yet they usually have friends. They can alternate from being the life of the party to withdrawing. Intimates will know of their insecurities and dark moody side while acquaintances will see a softer, friendlier side. This subtype’s energy is geared towards people, but they never feel as though they really fit in. They are often quite creative, talented people who have many interests, but they frequently lack the energy to actually accomplish what they would like. They can drift and withdraw very easily. When healthy and with the right support from friends (and perhaps a little push) they tap into their instinctual energy. When they do this, they begin to see how much they can accomplish. A positive connection to others helps them stay focused.
This is me to a t. I become surprised every time I read it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
118 Posts
I think the general descriptions can be misleading, the instincts only tell you your psychological focus - the way they manifest will depend on the specific type in the enneagram. So the Social 4w5 is actually NOT comfortable in group situations as the general description states.

This should help people figure out their primary variant at least:
Self-Preservation Fours: "Dauntless"

  • I crave intensity and stimulation in order to feel alive and avoid the dullness and meaningless of a mundane existence.
  • I am attracted to being close to birth, death, catastrophe, and serious illness.
  • I have plunged into dangerous situations, for example, taking physical risks, breaking laws or rules, taking chances with my money, engaging in promiscuity, or entering into unhealthy relationships.
  • I can be determined and persevering in pulling myself and others through crises.
  • I rebel strenuously when people attack my ideals, tell me what to do, or try to change me. I may hurl sarcastic remarks or fly into a rage.
  • I focus intently on my creative work or causes.
  • I can see myself excluding everything else that is going on around me and ignoring the necessities of day-to-day survival while I pursue my goal.
  • I like to point out angles that others have not thought of.
  • I take great offense when people assume they know what I think and how I feel.
Relational Fours: "Competition and Envy"

  • I envy people who seem happier, more fulfilled, or more interesting than I am, particularly those whose assets are similar to mine.
  • When having problems in a relationship, I am more likely to become depressed than angry.
  • I want my partner to experience our relationship as unique and intense.
  • I'm attracted to what is distant and unattainable.
  • I long, or have longed, for a soul mate or Prince or Princess Charming to come along and rescue me from an ordinary life.
  • I frequently get my partner to leave, then try to win him or her back. This push and pull creates drama and pain, keeps renewing the distance I want, and gives me the feeling that I am in control.
  • Getting close frightens me because my loved one might discover that I don't measure up to the ideal.
  • I sometimes feel I'm not special enough to be truly loved.
Social Fours: "Shame"
Shame, as we use it here, means embarrassment, humiliation, and lack of self-respect.

  • I feel ashamed of not measuring up to my vision of the ideal: not being bright or creative enough, not contributing to humanity, or not having a fulfilling relationship.
  • I die over each mistake or faux pas I make.
  • I often feel inadequate socially and either try to pour on charm and confidence or blend into the woodwork.
  • I'm always analyzing myself: Did I make myself understood? Did I sound stupid? Was I too aggressive? Was I too conciliatory?
  • I have dreams of achieving tremendous status and recognition in order to get revenge on those who have put me down or laughed at me.
  • I am very sensitive to being shamed or slighted. It devastates me to be excluded from a gathering or event that acquaintances or friends are attending.
  • Sometimes I say things against myself to try to deflect envy.
  • I feel less awkward when I fill a definite position in the group by demonstrating that I'm an authority on something or by making a strong statement about who I am by the way I dress.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,324 Posts
sx/sp
This is perhaps the most internally conflicted of the stackings, and potentially the most inconsistent in behavior. This may occur as a blockage of the sexual instinct which can be redirected as a more generally brooding and troubled personality. They may isolate themselves for long periods of time before reemerging. They live according to a strictly personal outlook and are not particularly concerned with the approval of others outside of their immediate concern. They seem to be searching for something, the missing piece. If they find a soulmate they will unite without fanfare, forming a secret bond, dealing with formalities as an afterthought. Powerful sexual impulses facing inner resistance may manifest symbolically in the psyche, giving way to soulful interpretations of the unconscious. Under periods of stress severe sexual tensions may manifest as erratic, impulsively destructive behavior. Can seem restless, torn between the comforts of a stable home life and the urge to wander. May be prone to self-medicating.
Motivation: to know the heart, reconcile inner conflict, form a secure union.
Familiar roles: the devotee, the seeker, the wanderer

This describes me well. i do have alot of inner conflict. brooding and troubled yep thats me lol and melancholy..and i always seem to searching for something missing. i always feel like i have a missing piece of myself, always have a sense of longing.. and i am prone to be dramatic as well lol. so this fits me :) thanks for posting this information :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,336 Posts
I'm still confused whether I'm 4w5 so/sx or sx/so

I guess I can say that sometimes I have sx/so ambitions, but lacking the strength and focus to achieve them.

I guess that makes so/sx?


soc/sx
This type has very strong one to one social skills, but is usually uncomfortable in group settings. They enjoy cultivating multiple relationships, and can be intensely involved when in the presence of someone they are interested in, but have difficulty sustaining these bonds when apart. This may give the impression of being flighty and rootless, willing to adapt and mirror others in order to connect, but lacking a defined approach that would give their relationships a more solid standing. They may have political interests, but are generally more pragmatic and less partisan than the other social variant. They are often attuned to pop culture and the latest trends. This type's motivation is to create lasting connections with those they are interested in - the "best friend."
Oh yes
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
405 Posts
I'm still confused whether I'm 4w5 so/sx or sx/so

I guess I can say that sometimes I have sx/so ambitions, but lacking the strength and focus to achieve them.

I guess that makes so/sx?
well... the "strength/focus" levels of a type doesn't concern your instinctual stackings.
i would say you're a 4w5 so it's harder to tell. (basically if you assume 3,6,9 are the most common types and tri-types.. you can also assume that every hexad type more than likely has a wing type associated with 3 , 6 ,9.. meaning there are more 4w3s than 4w5s. if that's the case, then we can safely assume that all descriptions are skewed towards 3,6,9s. this brings typing/instinctual issues. a 4w3 will be more extroverted/assertive due to the 3 wing.. 6 wings compliant. 9 wings withdrawn.

5 wings withdrawn.. so a 4 and a 5 put together increases how prone you are to withdraw as a defense.


and honestly, i don't think they have the so/sx description right.. uncomfortable in group settings? i don't think so.
where's the description from?

idk i would see a so/sx 4 as someone wanting group settings.. meaning 3 or more.. i like 3 or less..
i like smaller numbers.
i'm sx/sp though.
if i had any so streak in me, i'm pretty sure i'd be more down with group sessions
 
41 - 60 of 133 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top