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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Whenever I come up with new questions to ask myself, and they turn into a list, I end up creating a type me thread. So this thread is mostly devoted to my child and teenhood history.

As a kid I used to be many kinds of things:
- I used to be quietly combative. As in, I never made any noise, never made a mess, never created any trouble for my parents, never did any dangerous things (at least not when others were watching); was kind of that "perfect quiet child". But, when I put my foot down, I really put my foot down. If I had made my decision to disobey, I would disobey until the bitter end, and my disobedience was connected to my sense of pride. 90% of the time I wouldn't care, and would be a "people ragdoll", as in - I would agree to go along with whatever people preferred or wanted me to do. But the remaining 10% I would become a "one man army" to ensure that my decision is followed by everyone. I guess it was sort of a trade-off maybe: "I will follow you as long as you agree to follow me when I need you to."
- My physical coordination level was a bit strange though. On one hand I spent 7 years attending dancing lessons and reached the top of my class + won many medals. On the other hand, despite performing very well with my body on the dance floor, I used to overexert myself in terms of physical strength. Two examples:
(1) My dancing partner kept bitching out because I was too physically rough with her. This roughness of course wasn't visible to an outside viewer, as otherwise we wouldn't win every dancing competition, which has elegance/grace as one of the main criteria. But as I danced with my partner, I always felt that I need to physically dominate and "lead" in our interaction, make her follow my rules, my impulses, and my moves, as otherwise it won't work out. I was conscious of the fact that I'm slightly rough with her, but I couldn't do it any other way. I had to treat her as a "tool", and this treatment worked out quite well in terms of our overall performance.
(2) I used to hurt myself sometimes physically as result of experimenting with fighting moves I saw in movies. I broke my toe in half by testing a kick. I almost cracked my knee by trying to run up a wall. I enjoyed expressing myself physically, be it through dance or through fight, and this enjoyment clouded my senses so much, my sense of pain often became numbed. I could continue performing no matter how much my body felt like breaking down, and I didn't care.
- To complement point #2 above, even today I have this very weird relationship to the physical state of my body. I can maintain physical coordination quite well (walk nicely and neatly, be conscious of and control my body in a confident way, easily maintain balance and navigate obstacles, easily get myself out of dangerous situations like slipping on ice. p.s. I'm not sporty in any way), but I have almost zero coordination when it comes to the inner state of my body: I tend to either imagine pain/illnesses which I don't have, or ignore pain/illnesses which I do have, and I ignore them until they reaches a critical state once ignoring them becomes impossible. I tend to often tell people "I'm used to pain", as I have some kind of magical ability to shut it off in my brain.
So zero "inner" physical coordination, not understanding the limits of my strength and health, but with pretty very above-average, or maybe even very good "outer" physical coordination.
- I was also pretty good at drawing. But my main talent was to almost precisely copy existing pictures or paintings. I wasn't at all good at creating my own original work, as I was always overwhelmed by the burden of creating something entirely new that would remain "consistent". But I was extremely good at copying existing works, to the point that the original owners confused my copies with the originals.
- I was never into things like maths or programming. One of the reasons was that I was always very bad with numbers, and "long" logical chains. I was much better at languages, art, dancing, literature/writing, history. In fact, I held the reputation of "that artistic kid" in my class for most of my school history. I didn't really produce many "works" to convince people in that reputation, but they almost wholesomely recognized me as someone "who has good taste and understands beauty" just based on the very few works I did produce in all those years. They still maintained that vision of me even when I became a computer nerd, and spent most of my time fixing PCs, gaming, etc.
- I usually didn't get aggressive or combative when people directed their aggression or hate towards me. I was quite chill in entirely personal conflicts. But I always became an adrenaline infused beast, as soon as I noticed someone bullying my classmates. Hence I often ended up jumping into battles to protect others, and did it very impulsively, but was much less impulsive and more tactful and low-key in personal conflicts.
- I had very few friends in school. Around 2-3 people with whom I regularly communicated, and mostly shunned everyone else. But I was ready to kill anyone who would try to hurt them. I guess you could say I always became very "territorial" about "my" people, if "my" people came under the threat of an outside force/offender.
- I rarely had any personal conflicts in school, this goes true for both my friends and teachers. And in all of those rare occasions when I did end up in a standoff with someone, I always naturally knew how to resolve the problem. I would passively show my "fighting spirit", hence quickly repel any physical or verbal attack on me, regardless of who that person was, but quickly after that would compel them to agree to a list of conditions, which would suit both of us to resolve the conflict. I was a sort of a "strict diplomat" in conflicts, briefly showing the tips of my nuclear warheads, and at the same time pushing people to the negotiating table. Both of these things (the nukes and the table) weren't my logic-driven choices, but natural subconscious responses; that's just how I "roll".
- Despite everything mentioned above (being a successful dancer, enjoying physical fights, being a strict diplomat) I actually suffered from social anxiety my entire life. And even though I may on the surface sometimes appear friendly, communicative, confident and even leader-like, deep inside I'm staying in my inner shell most of the time and wish I would just never need to leave it. But then again, staying in it too long makes me feel under-fulfilled, under-expressed, so I may just spontaneously break out of it and go rushing through the world of intense physical activity/expression and social engagement.
- I always had a very heightened, overblown level of awareness when it came to dangerous physical objects in my environment. If a person holds a knife, I don't trust him no matter who he is, be it a stranger or my mom. I don't eat food that may have bones or seeds in it, because I'm scared of accidentally swallowing something like that. I get sick and feel like puking if the collar of my shirt or the tie is too tight around my neck. I'm going to throw away everything that has even the slightest chance of being "contaminated" or in any other way dangerous to my body or to the bodies of other people in my environment.
- Oh and lastly, I always had this very weird attachment to physical objects. I get sentimentally attached to everything I own and subconsciously give it a living personality, even if it's just a pen or even an empty plastic bottle. Throwing it away makes me feel like I'm throwing away a living creature. And then I have brief images in my head "how that plastic bottle is currently suffering, having been disposed of as some tool, it probably can't believe I betrayed it".

So what functions, what dichotomy letters did you spot in me?
 

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Discussion Starter #2
Bonus point: I have a tendency to tell all my friends and family almost about every single dream I have, because those tend to be extremely vivid and full of meaning. My brain tends to create very complicated and interesting dream scenarios (book-worthy stories, even though I suck at story-making when I'm awake), full of mythical creatures, or fantasy worlds, across all possible genres. But I also find these dreams to be very closely connected to my waking life. If I dream of stealing or being granted a glowing sword, I interpret it as gaining some kind of power in the waking life. If I dream of being bitten by an aggressive black dog, I instantly know which person that dog represents in my waking life. If I dream of an ancient hero or god/goddess, I often know why I dreamed about them and how I can implement that information into my waking life. I also often tend to have very simple premonition dreams: i.e. I dream I will make a friend angry for some reason. I wake up, and 6+ hours later I make him angry by mere accident. I dream I will hurt myself in some kind of accident. I wake up, and I end up finding myself in an accident that same day.
 

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Whenever I come up with new questions to ask myself, and they turn into a list, I end up creating a type me thread. So this thread is mostly devoted to my child and teenhood history.

As a kid I used to be many kinds of things:
- I used to be quietly combative. As in, I never made any noise, never made a mess, never created any trouble for my parents, never did any dangerous things (at least not when others were watching); was kind of that "perfect quiet child". But, when I put my foot down, I really put my foot down. If I had made my decision to disobey, I would disobey until the bitter end, and my disobedience was connected to my sense of pride. 90% of the time I wouldn't care, and would be a "people ragdoll", as in - I would agree to go along with whatever people preferred or wanted me to do. But the remaining 10% I would become a "one man army" to ensure that my decision is followed by everyone. I guess it was sort of a trade-off maybe: "I will follow you as long as you agree to follow me when I need you to."
SJ - never made noise, kept out of trouble (when in view), didn't do anything dangerous - this is all SJ 'fulfilling duties' - being a 'ragdoll' 90% of the time is a solid connection to what SJ types do when they basically don't stand up for themselves and become a "doormat".
It's to appear unselfish, and unaccountable.


- My physical coordination level was a bit strange though. On one hand I spent 7 years attending dancing lessons and reached the top of my class + won many medals. On the other hand, despite performing very well with my body on the dance floor, I used to overexert myself in terms of physical strength. Two examples:
(1) My dancing partner kept bitching out because I was too physically rough with her. This roughness of course wasn't visible to an outside viewer, as otherwise we wouldn't win every dancing competition, which has elegance/grace as one of the main criteria. But as I danced with my partner, I always felt that I need to physically dominate and "lead" in our interaction, make her follow my rules, my impulses, and my moves, as otherwise it won't work out. I was conscious of the fact that I'm slightly rough with her, but I couldn't do it any other way. I had to treat her as a "tool", and this treatment worked out quite well in terms of our overall performance.
Well there's a complete lack of F here, obviously.
SJ types want, more than anything - to be, or appear to be, responsible.
In taking charge of this situation, and essentially forcing this girl into becoming some kind of mannequin, you're attempting to demonstrate your competence - clearly linked to being seen as 'responsible' and 'capable of winning' - self-respect - and due to this fear of what is basically 'losing respect', SJ types can take the measures you took in order to prove their competence - which of course, comes off as irresponsible and incompetent

(2) I used to hurt myself sometimes physically as result of experimenting with fighting moves I saw in movies. I broke my toe in half by testing a kick. I almost cracked my knee by trying to run up a wall. I enjoyed expressing myself physically, be it through dance or through fight, and this enjoyment clouded my senses so much, my sense of pain often became numbed. I could continue performing no matter how much my body felt like breaking down, and I didn't care.
Obviously an S. Not just because of what you've said, but your interests as a child in these kinds of things are S interests anyway - it also ties into the SJ sense of duty, and need to appear responsible/competent etc - that determination to keep performing even though your body feels like it's about to break down, is connected to an inner sense of self-respect, self-competence, and self-esteem. All SJ.

- To complement point #2 above, even today I have this very weird relationship to the physical state of my body. I can maintain physical coordination quite well (walk nicely and neatly, be conscious of and control my body in a confident way, easily maintain balance and navigate obstacles, easily get myself out of dangerous situations like slipping on ice. p.s. I'm not sporty in any way), but I have almost zero coordination when it comes to the inner state of my body: I tend to either imagine pain/illnesses which I don't have, or ignore pain/illnesses which I do have, and I ignore them until they reaches a critical state once ignoring them becomes impossible. I tend to often tell people "I'm used to pain", as I have some kind of magical ability to shut it off in my brain.
So zero "inner" physical coordination, but with pretty very above-average, or maybe even very good "outer" physical coordination.
The first half of this is obviously solid Sensing.
The second half is classic SJ.
SJ types are the ones who imagine pain and illnesses they don't have - literally telling people you're "used to pain" sounds like more of that "poor me" thing that SJ types tend to do as well.

In what situations do you ignore the pain/illnesses to a point that they become dangerous?


- I was also pretty good at drawing. But my main talent was to almost precisely copy existing pictures or paintings. I wasn't at all good at creating my own original work, as I was always overwhelmed by the burden of creating something entirely new that would remain "consistent". But I was extremely good at copying existing works, to the point that the original owners confused my copies with the originals.
More Sensing. Prefer to copy others ideas (and getting ridiculously good at this), feelings of being overwhelmed at the idea of having to create something entirely original.
N types are the 'wholly original' 'creative' types. I don't intend this in a positive or negative way, rather as a fact.
I don't see 'creativity' and 'originality' as being directly linked to 'good'. LOL.


- I was never into things like maths or programming. One of the reasons was that I was always very bad with numbers, and "long" logical chains. I was much better at languages, art, dancing, literature/writing, history. In fact, I held the reputation of "that artistic kid" in my class for most of my school history. I didn't really produce many "works" to convince people in that reputation, but they almost wholesomely recognized me as someone "who has good taste and understands beauty" just based on the very few works I did produce in all those years. They still maintained that vision of me even when I became a computer nerd, and spent most of my time fixing PCs, gaming, etc.
Sounds like a preference for S - art, dancing, history, 'good taste' 'understands beauty', and then later the shift is still "S" - fixing PCs, gaming.


- I usually didn't get aggressive or combative when people directed their aggression or hate towards me. I was quite chill in entirely personal conflicts. But I always became an adrenaline infused beast, as soon as I noticed someone bullying my classmates. Hence I often ended up jumping into battles to protect others, and did it very impulsively, but was much less impulsive and more tactful and low-key in personal conflicts.
Sounds like T to me, with regards to being cool-headed in personal conflicts, and SJ with regards to acting impulsively to defend your friends - SJ types aren't called 'Guardians' for no reason. Sense of duty.


- I had very few friends in school. Around 2-3 people with whom I regularly communicated, and mostly shunned everyone else. But I was ready to kill anyone who would try to hurt them. I guess you could say I always became very "territorial" about "my" people, if "my" people came under the threat of an outside force/offender.
Introversion - few friends, SJ - territorial about your people etc, sense of duty.


- I rarely had any personal conflicts in school, this goes true for both my friends and teachers. And in all of those rare occasions when I did end up in a standoff with someone, I always naturally knew how to resolve the problem. I would passively show my "fighting spirit", hence quickly repel any physical or verbal attack on me, regardless of who that person was, but quickly after that would compel them to agree to a list of conditions, which would suit both of us to resolve the conflict. I was a sort of a "strict diplomat" in conflicts, briefly showing the tips of my nuclear warheads, and at the same time pushing people to the negotiating table. Both of these things (the nukes and the table) weren't my logic-driven choices, but natural subconscious responses; that's just how I "roll".
Sounds like more T - remain cool, calm and collected in conflicts.


- Despite everything mentioned above (being a successful dancer, enjoying physical fights, being a strict diplomat) I actually suffered from social anxiety my entire life. And even though I may on the surface sometimes appear friendly, communicative, confident and even leader-like, deep inside I'm staying in my inner shell most of the time and wish I would just never need to leave it. But then again, staying in it too long makes me feel under-fulfilled, under-expressed, so I may just spontaneously break out of it and go rushing through the world of intense physical activity/expression and social engagement.
Probably introversion.. also, you didn't mention you 'enjoyed physical fights', rather you detailed how you shy away from them by remaining calm and essentially negotiating an escape.


- I always had a very heightened, overblown level of awareness when it came to dangerous physical objects in my environment. If a person holds a knife, I don't trust him no matter who he is, be it a stranger or my mom. I don't eat food that may have bones or seeds in it, because I'm scared of accidentally swallowing something like that. I get sick and feel like puking if the collar of my shirt or the tie is too tight around my neck. I'm going to throw away everything that has even the slightest chance of being "contaminated" or in any other way dangerous to my body or to the bodies of other people in my environment.
More classic SJ - what you're outlying here is essentially 'The Worrier'.
Overblown and hyper-exaggerated fears - you're actually pushing the extreme levels of SJ 'worrier' characteristics here, by suggesting you feel 'sick and feel like puking' when a collar is too tight etc - this is likely linked with that social anxiety you have - spawned from the same place - SJ types are paranoid about "the worst", they are concerned with "the worst" things that could happen, and they take this to extreme levels - they can actually become plagued with anxiety attacks.. heart palpitations.. excessive perspiration, they can even straight up faint.


- Oh and lastly, I always had this very weird attachment to physical objects. I get sentimentally attached to everything I own and subconsciously give it a living personality, even if it's just a pen or even an empty plastic bottle. Throwing it away makes me feel like I'm throwing away a living creature. And then I have brief images in my head "how that plastic bottle is currently suffering, having been disposed of as some tool, it probably can't believe I betrayed it".
SJ sentimentality combined with the 'feeling-tones' associated with introverted Sensing types.

So what functions, what dichotomy letters did you spot in me?
I, S, T and J.
 

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Discussion Starter #4 (Edited)
literally telling people you're "used to pain" sounds like more of that "poor me" thing that SJ types tend to do as well.
Self-victimization is not the goal here. Saying I'm used to pain is just my way of telling people that I'm not suffering as much as they're imagining, hence reassuring them that they shouldn't worry as much as they're worrying. It's to avoid burdening people with worries which are unfounded.

In what situations do you ignore the pain/illnesses to a point that they become dangerous?
In all. I almost always keep pretending like I don't have any pain in my stomach, or in any other part of my body.

Back when I broke my toe in half, I spent a whole week pretending that it's just a bruise and that people shouldn't worry, and that I'll be fine when it heals. Until my dad came and dragged me to a hospital by force to do an xray, after which it became apparent that I have a bone that was snapped in half.

But additionally, I also tend to exert more force than my body can handle. For instance, when shaking another person's hand, or just flexing any body parts when doing some physical task. I'll exert enough force as my brain wants, but then my muscles/joints will end up hurting as I went over the limit of what I should be allowed to do.

So, very often, what my brain wants my body to do, and what it forces it to do, tends to be extremely disconnected from what the body should be allowed and should be capable of doing.

I tend to have this self-understanding of physical strength and capacity, as something that comes from the heart (passion, feelings, desires) and not from the physical capabilities of the body. Hence many of my physical activities are primarily driven by emotion, and if the emotion is intense, then those physical activities become intense, while the limits of the body become secondary on my priority list.
 

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Self-victimization is not the goal here. Saying I'm used to pain is just my way of telling people that I'm not suffering as much as they're imagining, hence reassuring them that they shouldn't worry as much as they're worrying. It's to avoid burdening people with worries which are unfounded.

In all. I almost always keep pretending like I don't have any pain in my stomach, or in any other part of my body.

Back when I broke my toe in half, I spent a whole week pretending that it's just a bruise and that people shouldn't worry, and that I'll be fine when it heals. Until my dad came and dragged me to a hospital by force to do an xray, after which it became apparent that I have a bone that was snapped in half.

But additionally, I also tend to exert more force than my body can handle. For instance, when shaking another person's hand, or just flexing any body parts when doing some physical task. I'll exert enough force as my brain wants, but then my muscles/joints will end up hurting as I went over the limit of what I should be allowed to do.

So, very often, what my brain wants my body to do, and what it forces it to do, tends to be extremely disconnected from what the body should be allowed and should be capable of doing.

I tend to have this self-understanding of physical strength and capacity, as something that comes from the heart (passion, feelings, desires) and not from the physical capabilities of the body. Hence many of my physical activities are primarily driven by emotion, and if the emotion is intense, then those physical activities become intense, while the limits of the body become secondary on my priority list.
That's "bad-ass/daredevil" stuff like ISTPs are described, I think. I personally care more than this about whether an injury could get in the way for other stuff. I can definitely ignore pain too if the task I'm focused on requires that but I don't relate to your "devil may care" attitude on the whole. You seem very SP with that really.

The emotion part, I don't really get what that is like... Maybe ISFP is also an option for you?

PS: Nvm, if you are no longer around, sorry.
 

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That's "bad-ass/daredevil" stuff like ISTPs are described, I think. I personally care more than this about whether an injury could get in the way for other stuff. I can definitely ignore pain too if the task I'm focused on requires that but I don't relate to your "devil may care" attitude on the whole. You seem very SP with that really.

The emotion part, I don't really get what that is like... Maybe ISFP is also an option for you?
I do feel like I'm a Se user rather than a Si user. I'm still having some inclination to believe I could be an ENTJ, just an asocial one.
Reasons for: (1) ENTJ's should have a fairly good command over Se, but it has to be consciously controlled, or "turned on", which is exactly how I feel about myself. I can boast fairly good Se "operation" and am proud of it, but I need prior "preparation" in order to get into that Se-ish state. Hence why I think it's neither my dom nor aux, but likely also not my inferior, (2) I can easily identify myself very well with inferior Fi, and at this point I'm almost convinced it's my inferior. (3) ENTJ is among my most frequent results on tests, but is less frequent than INTJ/INTP/INFJ. Although I think the only reason I am often "defaulted" to INxx is because of my asocial/shy nature.
Reasons against: (1) I can't entirely wrap my head around how it's like to be a Te-dom. I seem to be an extremely heavy Te user by default, but in my imagination, a dom Te's expression should be twice more powerful than what I'm experiencing. But maybe I'm basing this on a false prejudice. (2) I find myself a tad too timid to be a Te-dom, but again, it could just be my personal circumstances and not my MBTI causing this.
Ultimately, I relate to both Se and Te quite well, but Se isn't automatic/autonomous enough to be considered dom/aux.

PS: Nvm, if you are no longer around, sorry.
Don't start my funeral without my permission.
 

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Mm...you might be ESTP who's overusing Se at the expense of Ti's reasoning.
ENTJ makes sense too but you're probably neglecting Ni.
 
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I do feel like I'm a Se user rather than a Si user. I'm still having some inclination to believe I could be an ENTJ, just an asocial one.
Reasons for: (1) ENTJ's should have a fairly good command over Se, but it has to be consciously controlled, or "turned on", which is exactly how I feel about myself. I can boast fairly good Se "operation" and am proud of it, but I need prior "preparation" in order to get into that Se-ish state. Hence why I think it's neither my dom nor aux, but likely also not my inferior, (2) I can easily identify myself very well with inferior Fi, and at this point I'm almost convinced it's my inferior. (3) ENTJ is among my most frequent results on tests, but is less frequent than INTJ/INTP/INFJ. Although I think the only reason I am often "defaulted" to INxx is because of my asocial/shy nature.
Reasons against: (1) I can't entirely wrap my head around how it's like to be a Te-dom. I seem to be an extremely heavy Te user by default, but in my imagination, a dom Te's expression should be twice more powerful than what I'm experiencing. But maybe I'm basing this on a false prejudice. (2) I find myself a tad too timid to be a Te-dom, but again, it could just be my personal circumstances and not my MBTI causing this.
Ultimately, I relate to both Se and Te quite well, but Se isn't automatic/autonomous enough to be considered dom/aux.
You don't really come off as a Te-dom to me but I don't know you, just going by this one little thread. I think I said my input above, I wish you luck in finding yourself, either within or outside MBTI.


Don't start my funeral without my permission.
Lol alright but then change your signature. :p
 
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