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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
This will be a pretty hefty thing to read, so thanks in advanced to anyone who actually bothers to type me!

Main Questions
1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I'm not entirely sure. My prevailing theory is that I desire success and recognition. I was torn between that and a desire for knowledge, but one thought changed that. I'm applying to university soon and it dawned on me that I care more about where I go than how interesting I'd find the course. Obviously, I'll balance, but wanting prestige edges out wanting to learn. It's an internal cause of shame.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
The same as everyone: happiness. I suppose the real question is how will I achieve happiness. I think that achieving my goals will make me happy. Why would people set goals if they won't be happier once they've got them? Success in relationships and a career. I'd like people to think highly of me too.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I want to be somebody who enjoys their life. I don't want to be in a dead-end 9-to-5 job that makes me want to slit my wrists in the morning. I don't want to be in an unhappy relationship. And the idea that I won't actually like my children worries me.

I'd like to avoid being a person who achieves what they want, no matter the cost. That kind of aggressiveness is unfair on the people I'd have to screw over. I'd like to maintain a moral high-ground during my life. That ties in with important values. I value determination and honesty - not specifically in a truth-telling kind of way.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
I fear rejection, in most scenarios. Personal rejection hits the hardest. It's why I tend not to ask people out. If they say no, it's like they've said, "You are not good enough for me." I can't deal with that. I know that's not what it means really, but it's what I'd tell myself.

I fear failure too. Only when it's permanent, but failure means again that I wasn't good enough to achieve my goals. It's letting myself down and other people.

I'm terrified of the idea that I'll actually get what I want from life and still not be content. Then I'll be put into a place where I'm not self-assured, but it will be too late to change.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I want other people to see me as someone who's strong, confident, optimistic and goal-orientated without being arrogant and cut-throat. I primarily want people to see me as happy. Happy means I have what I want and am comfortable with how I got there.

I see myself as the person I've described above, with doubts. I know that I'm internally freaking out over my life's path, so I'm not really strong. I know that I'm terrified that I'm not good enough, so I'm not confident. I know I'm worried about things going wrong, so I'm not that optimistic. So, I guess I want people to see me in all my positives.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
I feel at my best when I try my hardest and I succeed. I feel at my worst when I've done my best and fail on all counts. I like the idea that we reap what we sow, so when something goes against that, it disorientates me.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
a) I manifest anger very physically. I shout and I'm rude and I stomp and I slam doors. I try to withdraw so that no one gets caught in the war path, but if people don't adhere to that, then I'm not particularly pleasant. I usually direct my anger at people that are the cause. But when I'm the reason for my own anger, that's when I'm just horrible to everyone. It's like, I'm angry with myself, so everyone else should be too.

b) Shame ties in with personal anger. When I'm ashamed, I deny it to myself. I try to repress the source of shame. I never talk about it. I ignore all thoughts about it. Then, I mentally snap, and I'm forced to deal with it all at once. That's when I withdraw and cry and just think about how it can be resolved. After that, I'm fine.

c) I'm rarely anxious. I'm too out-of-sight-out-of-mind as a person. When I am, I try to distract myself, but I'm very on edge. I tense up and find it difficult to relax my muscles or change my train of thought. Anxiety consumes me, almost.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
a) I respond physically. I clench my jaw, tighten my muscles and just feel so overwhelmed. To combat this, I eat ice-cream and chocolate, and think about how I can make the stress go away or at least dial down. Then I do that. Causes of stress in my life are usually due to exams. In this case, I revise. Feeling prepared makes me less worried that I'll fail and therefore less stressed.

b) Change that's unexpected is usually change that I don't think is necessary. If I think something needs to be changes, I get used to the idea of the impending change before it's happened. Unexpected change doesn't allow me this period of mental adjustment before it happens, so I'm not great at dealing with it. I tend to avoid the area of the change until I'm forced to go their so much that I get used to it.

c) Conflict doesn't bother me too much. I frankly think it's quite healthy. In situations of conflict, I believe I'm in the right. I wouldn't argue at all if that weren't the case. If I did do something wrong, I apologise. If the other person did something wrong, I explain my point and expect them to apologise. Well, that's if it's a personal argument. In other cases (e.g. debate gone wrong) it's better to agree to disagree and move on.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
a) People with authority are generally just trying to get a job done. Like policemen or teachers. It's easier to just go with it.

b) Power is a different matter as people often get corrupted by power. If it goes to their heads, sometimes one needs to step up and say something about it. So, if someone with power asks me to do something I deem unreasonable, I'll say so.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
Oft, that's a deep question. I think that you only get one shot at life, so you should enjoy is as much as possible. However, people interpret that differently. My plan is to work hard now so life may be better later. People should do whatever makes them happy, unless it infringes a lot on someone else's happiness or many people's happiness.

Humanity is slightly different. I think individual people are fundamentally good, but the human race itself is not. We're too focused on ourselves. We'll happily hold out a door for somebody, but we won't help starving people. It's sad.


Optional Questions
12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I'm not really sure. I trust people with things that don't really matter. Like, I'll trust a friend to buy me some food from Sainsbury's if I ask, but I haven't told anyone that my mum's diabetic. I'm not sure if it's that I don't trust people with serious things or if I just think it's irrelevant for them to know. I don't have a hideous back-story about betrayal which means I find it difficult to trust people. I just don't think it's necessary to tell people things you'd require their trust for in the first place.

15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
A stranger doesn't truly know me, so I assume that insults are designed to hurt me for no reason and compliments are just sucking up to me. There's no genuine meaning behind them.
 

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Damn! I lost my reply lol.

You're a 3-7-1

1. 8 fixers are not concerned with maintaining a moral high ground in their life.
2. not wanting a boring, uninspiring 9-5 job that makes you want to slit your wrists, the pursuit of happiness and enjoyment (even if career comes first..you're a core 3), using pleasure (eating ice cream) as a diversion from stress etc. is indicative of a 7 fix, not a 5 fix. you also have the idealism seen in 7s and 7 fixers. It is sad that starving people don't matter but pointless formalities and social standing do. Good point there:)
3. The response to the conflict question is one-ish, not really pointing to an 8 fix only because you enjoy conflict.
4. Your aggressive side, again, isn't pointing to an 8 fix just because of the 'aggression'. All id types (3,7,8) can be very aggressive.


You have to tell me about what makes you react. How do you feel about other people expressing their anger in a juvenile manner? How do you judge your own expression of anger? What makes you angry?

You need to read the 3, 7 , 1 descriptions here:

1. the enneagram ...info from the underground

2. Typewatch Enneagram: Typewatch Enneagram Type Descriptions

(this link has brief descriptions, so read it first).
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Damn! I lost my reply lol.

You're a 3-7-1

1. 8 fixers are not concerned with maintaining a moral high ground in their life.
2. not wanting a boring, uninspiring 9-5 job that makes you want to slit your wrists, the pursuit of happiness and enjoyment (even if career comes first..you're a core 3), using pleasure (eating ice cream) as a diversion from stress etc. is indicative of a 7 fix, not a 5 fix. you also have the idealism seen in 7s and 7 fixers. It is sad that starving people don't matter but pointless formalities and social standing do. Good point there:)
3. The response to the conflict question is one-ish, not really pointing to an 8 fix only because you enjoy conflict.
4. Your aggressive side, again, isn't pointing to an 8 fix just because of the 'aggression'. All id types (3,7,8) can be very aggressive.


You have to tell me about what makes you react. How do you feel about other people expressing their anger in a juvenile manner? How do you judge your own expression of anger? What makes you angry?

You need to read the 3, 7 , 1 descriptions here:

1. the enneagram ...info from the underground

2. Typewatch Enneagram: Typewatch Enneagram Type Descriptions

(this link has brief descriptions, so read it first).
Sorry about the late reply. Biology coursework, but it's over now. Hooray! Anyhoo, seven really did describe me very well. As well as 3 does. But one sounds very contradictory to seven. Like sevens believe in indulging yourself, but ones believe in self-discipline. And sevens are really enthusiastic, but ones try to remain stoic. Although there were some bits that I thought described me, like being morally correct and not being a hypocrite (I really hate hypocrisy!), I don't really know how those two types can exist in a tritype without mental implosion.

In answer to your questions:
How do you feel about other people expressing their anger in a juvenile manner?
I'm going to interpret "juvenile manner" as sulking. I'm tolerant of it to a degree, depending on the severity of the situation, as I know how soothing it can be to wallow in self-pity for a bit. It's when people sulk and complain and shout about how hard their life is, but then don't change anything, when it begins to bother me. I don't think people have a right to moan about things if they refuse to do something about it. You're choosing to remain miserable then. If it's your fault, I have no sympathy.

How do you judge your own expression of anger?
I'm not entirely certain what you're asking, but I assume you mean how do I feel about how I express anger? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm going to answer what I think you're asking. Getting angry within itself doesn't bother me. Well, it bothers me like anger usually does, but I don't get annoyed with myself for being angry. It's a natural response to some scenarios. Plus, I know that after my bout of anger, I'll deal with it rationally and resolve my issues. If they can't be resolved, I get on with it. No point in exerting so much energy into something you can't change.

What makes you angry?
Hypocrisy in all forms is the main thing that makes me angry. For example, if someone said they'd willingly receive an organ if they needed one, but wouldn't donate their organs when they're dead, it would bloody piss me off. It bugs me so much, even on such a minute level, that I don't like it much when people complain about how much others complain. (I appreciate that may look like what I'm doing now, but I'm not. I'm complaining about hypocrisy, not complaining. You can't expect other people to do things if you won't either. The Gandhi quote, "You must be the change you want to see in the world," hits home for me.
 

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@Bazinga187, 3 is your core type in which has by far the most influence on your psychology. The greatest lessons of the Enneagram including moving to higher levels of health, and understanding your core motivations. I would spend a great deal of time understanding what exactly this means before moving onto matters like the tritype because it can be a distraction.

The two types which follow are secondary types. The 1 means you have set principled moral boundaries, and I'm not so sure about the 7 as a thinking center. Boss is a busy person but she'll get around to you for more information.
 
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