Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 100 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,397 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Okay. This thread might be very controversial and you will probably all laugh me off as a crazy loon with a malfunctioning Ne that is seeing patterns that just aren't there, but I've been going back and typing people I've known in the past, and I can't help but notice this weird trend...

Bisexual males seem to be extremely rare and one study by a psychologist J. Michael Bailey actually concluded they may very likely not exist at all (mind you I'd take that with a grain of salt; after all, this is the same person who argued in Was Michael Jackson A Pedophile? that the King of Pop had all those surgeries because he was aroused by the thought of becoming a 12 year old boy:unsure:). I guess he could be right. You see plenty of straight men saying they have absolutely “no idea what is attractive about men”, and I think at least some of them must be telling the truth, although fear of being seen as gay and feeling “emasculated” surely plays into it. But despite this, I have seen TONS of INTP males claim to be bisexual, or at least bi-curious. INTP males specifically, although (usually) not the very nerdy ones. Not most, by any means, but I literally cannot count with my fingers, and have seen very few men of any other type claim to be. I think met only one ENTP who did, and one INFP who had sex with a man because he "thought he was gay"; evidently he somehow confused homosexuality with introverted feeling. I thought they were pretty distinctm but go figure. Anyway, considering how rare we are, I think that is significant.

Yes, this is original research. Yes, many retract it after adolescence, and a great many are surely posturing. But in my own life, at least, the trends are there. I cannot deny them. I don't know why; if I were ignorant and had to take a guess, I'd say we were probably one of the least likely. But things are what they are. Of course, most of you will be straight and a few of you gay; I don’t expect droves of people to reply to this thread admitting bi-curious fantasies. But I would not be at all surprised if I got more replies of “yeah, I’m bi” from INTP males than any other type. I could be wrong; in any case most INTP males will of course be straight, but this is just too freakish to be dismissed as nothing more than chance. If you guys have not noticed this, I am living an incredibly weird life filled with incredibly weird coincidences.

I must stress that I am not necessarily saying that INTP's are biologically more prone to being bisexual. I suppose there is a chance we may be, but I think there are other possibilities. INTP's Ti has a strong "no one will tell me what to do-ness" about it which, when coupled with an auxiliary Ne telling it "anything is possible", means we will do whatever we want and not feel guilty for it. Even if all people have these desires on some level, the INTP with these traits and a weak Fe (collective values) to boot would likely see no need to conform to the homophobic values of society, instead finding their bisexual side novel and exciting. I don't understand the irrational male fear of having one's masculinity compromised and/or always feeling pressure to appear masculine. In a social sense, I do to a degree, but not on the visceral level many men seem to as has been asserted by psychologists. I expect many INTP's will feel the same way. I think that may be partly why I am more open to imagining myself being intimate with other guys. There is no sense of revulsion that so many men describe. Even if these thoughts come to everyone (or at least a lot of people), INTP's may be less likely to shun them.

It could also be teenage "rebellion" generally (it tends to start I the teenage years, and often ends there), but that is very unlikely because bisexuality in males is not "encouraged" to nearly the same degree that bisexuality in women is. Furthermore, I know this is not true in my case; the fantasies were instinctual and popped into my head. I have a visceral and instinctual attraction towards other guys that I did not ask for and simply "came" to me just as my love for women did.

Personally, it comes down to "why limit yourself"? The union of souls (I do like regard sex as a spiritual experience, at least in its ideal form) that occurs when sex is between two women, a man and a woman, and two men is radically different and happens oon a different spiritual plane. But all of them are uniquely transformative, and none of them is better or worse than any other. I feel somewhat incomplete if I do not experience both types I am capable of (perhaps the exceptionally devoted would take hormones to experience all three, but that is an expense I will personally spare :tongue:). But this paragraph had more to do with me personally, and could no doubt apply to anyone.

I sometimes think it is the inertness of my INTP self that does it. Males radiate an active energy that I find very exciting; although I am more attracted to females, I am somewhat comfortable in the passive role. I don't feel like a woman, but I feel like a chalice, not a blade. Very yin as opposed to yang. Not feminine, per se, but yin. Passive. And this INTP with his head in the clouds (you may disagree, but I DO think INTP's are the spaciest type) finds the sensory, forceful, agressive yang of men very appealing. To me (your mileage may vary) the male body is the best vessel for this yang force, and while I find many men gorgeous (although I think there are more very good looking women than good looking men) it is more their masculinity itself I am attracted to.

(Not to bind masculinity/femininity with sexual orientation too closely, but I met another INTP who thought of himself as androgynous, and I used to tell myself as a pre-pubescent kid "wow, it's like you were almost born a girl. Like you got just enough hormones to come out male". This is, of course, absurd. The INTP is ruled by pure logic, which is a discernment style correlated with loosely with masculinity, although many F men are of course very masculine. Anyway, I thought that was interesting. I think the salient factors in terms of feeling androgynous are a general lack of a competitive drive, a calm demeanour, general disinterest in team sports, anti-conformist tendencies naturally leading to a rejection of things falsely thought of as essentially masculine, and a predilection for “deep” discussion often associated with females in the popular imagination).

Well, that’s all I have to say. Would love to hear your opinions. Even if it's just "nevermore, you're on crack".:wink:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,250 Posts
Well I'm an INTP and bisexual... so yeah
 
  • Like
Reactions: nevermore

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,250 Posts
Personally, it comes down to "why limit yourself"? The union of souls (I do like regard sex as a spiritual experience, at least in its ideal form) that occurs when sex is between two women, a man and a woman, and two men is radically different and happens oon a different spiritual plane. But all of them are uniquely transformative, and none of them is better or worse than any other. I feel somewhat incomplete if I do not experience both types I am capable of (perhaps the exceptionally devoted would take hormones to experience all three, but that is an expense I will personally spare :tongue:). But this paragraph had more to do with me personally, and could no doubt apply to anyone.
With all jokes aside I really agree with this paragraph. When I was a very young child and learnt that one day I had to view the opposite sex as sexually compatible and also interesting, I never understood why I couldn't apply it to my sex. It just didn't make sense to me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
279 Posts
Well, I'm probably bi?

I say probably, because I've never actually got down to "bitness" with a guy before.

I don't know, I think almost everyone is, at least to some extent, naturally bi?

Or maybe it's just me.

My parents divorced when I was 5, so I was raised by my mother and grandmother. I never actually learned how to do this whole "maleness thing" from a father-figure, but had to come up with one on my own - to fit in with other guys. But I think this also allowed me to build a... more flexible sexual identity. I'm not girly nor manly, though I can easily be both. In my normal/neutral state I'm quite androgynous. This would actually confuse my peers, as they were sometimes unable to classify me as either gay or straight - "Is he straight? I saw him staring at that girl's cleavage and smiling at her. Is he gay? He displays too much affection towards other guys."

Of course, in my early teens I had to deal with a lot of self-loathing and shame, terror even, as I realized I was not 'disgusted' by (all) guys, but I actually found some to be attractive. Terrifying, as I come from a rather homophobic culture, where it is considered a disease and/or a mortal sin.

I turned to self-analyzing then, trying to understand why I was feeling all that. And I realized it really had no logical foundation. Just social norms, from a society I was already in disagreement with.

Thus, I decided to let my anima be free.

In my view, sex is a language. You can explore/express parts of your mind (and body!*hides*) that would otherwise be inaccessible. By focusing on only one gender I felt that I would missing out on something.

So that's my story. I hope it doesn't alienate/disturb/antagonize anyone. :laughing:
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
14,865 Posts
what is this i dont even
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,174 Posts
I would imagine there would be more than one type that is most likely to be this way.

Apparently certain traits within types occur in pairs, again this is pure guesswork but I'm going to say infp as well.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,190 Posts
...But all of them are uniquely transformative, and none of them is better or worse than any other. I feel somewhat incomplete if I do not experience both types I am capable of...
Nevermore, you're on acid. :crazy:

In my test re-taken 4 or 5 times in the past month or two, I have a wavering F at 53%. I'm bi-curious, attracted to one male as emotionally, not physically. Knowing both sexes are attracted to me, and that I may just be attracted to both sexes physically, it does seem a little like feeling incomplete without playing both sides of the field.

I don't know, I think almost everyone is, at least to some extent, naturally bi?

Or maybe it's just me.
Being someone that likes to experience all angles of a situation, I decided not to dismiss it as something misunderstood. It's part of what I'm feeling, and to me it's partially why I'm bi-curious and not acting narrow minded about the topic. Then again, I haven't felt emotional intimacy with the opposite sex yet, so why would I limit what I'm feeling because of something I'm thinking? Don't count on my response, though.:mellow:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,140 Posts
You know, I have suspected my INTP husband is bi-curious. He has never outright told me that he was, but sometimes I just get that feeling.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,156 Posts
You know, I have suspected my INTP husband is bi-curious. He has never outright told me that he was, but sometimes I just get that feeling.
ask him.

I would say that I'm bisexual, maybe even more than that...it's very complicated.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
20 Posts
Oh wow, this Thread really surprised me with the fact that so many are actually bi :laughing: another point for Nevermore.
I can't imagine myself with a man and I never had feelings for them... I am sometimes attracted physicaly, but that's rare. I want to have a wife and kinds eventually... somewhere in the distant future.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,156 Posts
Oh wow, this Thread really surprised me with the fact that so many are actually bi :laughing: another point for Nevermore.
I can't imagine myself with a man and I never had feelings for them... I am sometimes attracted physicaly, but that's rare. I want to have a wife and kinds eventually... somewhere in the distant future.
you can still have a wife....

silliest mistake is to mistake a bisexual for a homosexual.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,027 Posts
I'm an INFP bisexual, but I have many tendences to the T side, even in tests
I always get INTP at times...
and yeah, I'm bi.
Why some gay people can't get what I feel?I can't choose between a side or other. Don't know why some people really act like you had to do.
It's not lesbian or gay, not straight, it's just I'll do what I want.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26,827 Posts
you can still have a wife....

silliest mistake is to mistake a bisexual for a homosexual.
Society often thinks that bisexuals are just homosexuals that aren't willing to give up their heterosexual privileges, that they are too scared to come out as fully gay. There's a lot of stereotypes about bisexuals that just aren't accurate.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
44 Posts
When it comes to attraction to others, I find myself attracted to both sexes. Not in an "Oh man, that guy is hot, I'd like to jump his bones!" or a "Holy cow, Batman, that woman is crazy sexy, I'd like to plow that!", but more in an appreciation for their general physical appearance, with no interest in pursuing a romp between the sheets.

I am rather androgynous, both in physical appearance and mental functions, so it doesn't make sense to me to be ignorant of the attraction both sexes hold. I generally have a rather low carnal appetite, but when needs must, I prefer the male of the species. A female denoted by the cleft between my thighs, I am not interested in physical relationships with women; I am only interested in studying their attractiveness.

This sounds like I'm rambling, I'm sure, but the point is this: I look at people and think about their appeal based on how much I would like to draw a portrait of them, or what they would sound like if they happened to be a song. If I am impressed with what I see and/or hear in my head, then I find myself attracted to that person. But it's rarely a sexual attraction; it's more that I would like to spend time in the company of said individual(s), simply to be around them and bask in the appreciation that I have for them. It isn't even completely a physical thing, either; talent, wits, charm, ability to share ideas... these all play into my vision of their appeal.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Nearsification

·
Registered
Joined
·
173 Posts
I'm intrigued and want to see where this leads.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,730 Posts
I find other men occasionally sexually attractive. I don't want to do them, but it might be fun to have bit of grope.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,140 Posts
If I was attracted to guys that would be awesome. But I'm just not. I could never have feelings for another guy. It just does not happen for me.


So I'm totally jelous of Bi-ness.
 
1 - 20 of 100 Posts
Top