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MOTM Nov 2009
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Discussion Starter #1
Enneatype Nines are out of touch with the instinctual center. Because Nines are of touch with their instinctual energy they have a very conflicted relationship to the expression of the various instincts.


Self-pres/Social
This subtype is the most self-effacing of type Nine, possibly the least assertive of all the enneagram types. They can feel as though they have been looked over and passed by. While they do desire attention and recognition, with the sexual instinct last in the stacking, they seldom actively pursue it. They feel as though it’s just not worth it. This subtype is usually very deliberate and methodical in their speech. They sometimes get frustrated because they don’t feel that they can say what they really want to say. They are therefore often very short and concise with their communication, not wanting to provoke any confrontation. But when given a chance and the time to express themselves, they can be quite talkative. While self-pres needs are important to this type, the fact that they are essentially Nines, sometimes causes them to put the needs of others before their own. When under stress, this type is likely to do busy work, anything that distracts them from their problems.

In relationships, the self-pres instinct combines with the merging qualities of the Nine to make a person committed and connected strongly in areas of security, home and other practical matters. They merge their environment with their loved ones. On the down side, this subtype can be passive-aggressive and withdraw under stress, holding back affection. They could possibly go long periods of time without talking to their spouse directly.


Self-pres/Sexual

This subtype is self-effacing also, but is generally more assertive. They may be the subtype of Nine which is most aware of the boundaries between themselves and others and at the same time, possibly the most frustrated when those boundaries are violated. They can be aware of being walked over and they might even be aware of the anger it causes, but they become frustrated with their seeming inability to control this pattern. This is true, to some degree, of all Nines, but with the self-pres/sexual instinctual stacking, there seems to be a complex and interesting balance between the withdrawing energy caused by the dominant self-pres instinct and the assertive energy of the sexual instinct. This combination seems to raise consciousness of this dynamic.

Getting healthy for this subtype, and for all Nines, involves becoming aware of this dynamic and realizing they do have the power to control their boundaries. Part of this must come from the realization on the part of the Nine that they have invited this overstepping of their boundaries from others by not defining them.
Close relationships will usually work or not for this subtype depending on how well they deal with this issue.
 

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MOTM Nov 2009
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Discussion Starter #2
Social/Self-pres

Social Nines feel the need for validation and for "fitting in" but they feel these indirectly. They move towards others in a way which can resemble Twos, but they are motivated by a desire to initiate and maintain contact without provoking conflict. On the high side, the social/self-pres Nine generally knows a lot of people and gets along with most everyone. They are helpful people who generally have a great sense of humor. They get involved with the social environment. They might be the soccer coach, or if politically inclined, they might join and participate in a political party. When in leadership roles, they lead by consensus and charm. Their skill is in conflict management. With the sexual instinct last, they tend to avoid intensity, but they are actively involved with people.

Intimate relationships might be frustrating for the partner of this subtype of Nine because the Nine's social engagements might make the partner feel as though the Nine is connected with everyone except them. Sometimes this subtype can use their social connections in a passive-aggressive way against the partner; they might withhold attention from the partner in lieu of spending time with friends.


Social/Sexual

This subtype is "everyone’s friend." The social/sexual energy combines with the Nine's merging tendency and conflict avoidance to create a subtype that is very charming and uses humor quite extensively to engage with the people in their lives. On the down side, they can be frustrating because they can easily lose focus when it comes to their life priorities. With the self-pres instinct last in the stacking, they have a hard time tending to their own needs. They drift, and tend to use their charm to get a lot of their self-pres needs met by the people in their lives. When the Eight wing is dominant, they sometimes even develop a sense of entitlement, though they are just as likely to return help to those they charm into helping them.

In relationships, this subtype can suffer from some of the same problems as the other social subtype. They usually fall into a relationship in which the partner pushes them to "do more" with their lives. This can be positive for both parties, but often ends up causing resentment to build for both partners.
 

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MOTM Nov 2009
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Discussion Starter #3
Sexual/Self-pres


The energy of the sexual instinct is at odds with the dominant type Nine energy and makes for a conflicted subtype. These Nines can appear to have a stronger connection to Three, for this reason. The assertive fiery energy engages in a constant push-pull with the calm peace-seeking energy of the Nine. This subtype can have an intense relationship with their environment. They are often drawn to solo sports or to an active engagement with nature that involves some risk and exertion. These Nines are drawn to peak experiences. They might enjoy outdoor solo sports or engaging in nature by way of hiking, rock climbing etc.

With the social instinct last in the stacking, there can be an on/off quality when it comes to relating and these Nines are often somewhat moodier than the other subtypes. As with the self-pres/sexual, this subtype might not engage socially with the same smoothness as other subtypes of Nine. They seem to go towards others in a staccato fashion - they connect in bursts, then withdraw.

When it comes to intimate relationships, this subtype can be needy. The merging of the Nine combines with the intensity of the sexual instinct to create a subtype that will always be in danger of losing themselves in a relationship. Their boundaries for themselves and their partner can become blurred which can lead to conflicts. This subtype might have a hard time judging clearly the degree to which they have merged.


Sexual/Social


This subtype of Nine may appear least like a stereotypical Nine because the outward sexual and social energies obscure some of the withdrawing and "zoning out" tendencies of the Nine. These Nines are the most connected and assertive of the subtypes of Nine, especially when it comes to relationships. There is still some internal struggle, as with the sexual/self-pres, but overall there is less of a tendency to withdraw. With the self-pres instinct last, this subtype can neglect self-preservationist needs in favor of the intensity of their sexual instinct's pursuits. Individuals of this subtype could easily be mistaken for the dominant wing, because the sexual energy tends to flow in a manner similar to the energy of the wing. A Nine with a One wing would therefore appear more One-like and a Nine with Eight might be mistaken for an Eight.

The central conflict for these Nines will still be in the realm of close intimate relationships and these Nines will have many of the same issues and challenges as the sexual/self-pres Nines.


[Source]
 

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MOTM June 2010
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This is such a difficult process. I identify with all of them in some way but none of them completely :confused:
That's actually typical since E9s do relate to all or most of the other eight types in some way. It can be just as arduous to determine one's wing type under the E9 since you either relate well to both, or do not relate to either. The process is difficult. I found the enneagram long before I knew about MBTI. I had to take a break from the system for years and came back later. The process should be no different than determining your best fit type in MB since it should also take some self-analysis in lieu of tests.
 

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MOTM Jan 2010
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That's actually typical since E9s do relate to all or most of the other eight types in some way. It can be just as arduous to determine one's wing type under the E9 since you either relate well to both, or do not relate to either. The process is difficult. I found the enneagram long before I knew about MBTI. I had to take a break from the system for years and came back later. The process should be no different than determining your best fit type in MB since it should also take some self-analysis in lieu of tests.
After doing a bit more research, I realized that some of my confusion was due to lack of knowledge of the system. I had to read up on subtypes in general instead of just their application to help me figure out my type. I think I'm sx/sp. I could be wrong, but it's good enough for now.
 

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MOTM June 2010
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After doing a bit more research, I realized that some of my confusion was due to lack of knowledge of the system. I had to read up on subtypes in general instead of just their application to help me figure out my type. I think I'm sx/sp. I could be wrong, but it's good enough for now.
I have probably been wrong for the past three years, but like you it works for now.
 

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Self-pres/Social
This subtype is the most self-effacing of type Nine, possibly the least assertive of all the enneagram types. They can feel as though they have been looked over and passed by. While they do desire attention and recognition, with the sexual instinct last in the stacking, they seldom actively pursue it. They feel as though it’s just not worth it. This subtype is usually very deliberate and methodical in their speech. They sometimes get frustrated because they don’t feel that they can say what they really want to say. They are therefore often very short and concise with their communication, not wanting to provoke any confrontation. But when given a chance and the time to express themselves, they can be quite talkative.
Wow, I can really relate to this.
 

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Sexual/Self-pres


The energy of the sexual instinct is at odds with the dominant type Nine energy and makes for a conflicted subtype. These Nines can appear to have a stronger connection to Three, for this reason. The assertive fiery energy engages in a constant push-pull with the calm peace-seeking energy of the Nine. This subtype can have an intense relationship with their environment. They are often drawn to solo sports or to an active engagement with nature that involves some risk and exertion. These Nines are drawn to peak experiences. They might enjoy outdoor solo sports or engaging in nature by way of hiking, rock climbing etc.

With the social instinct last in the stacking, there can be an on/off quality when it comes to relating and these Nines are often somewhat moodier than the other subtypes. As with the self-pres/sexual, this subtype might not engage socially with the same smoothness as other subtypes of Nine. They seem to go towards others in a staccato fashion - they connect in bursts, then withdraw.




I was confused of my type, i am 9/1 and thought i was a 3/2. The best part of playing golf is being outside and i can play alone.I love the outdoors. It only makes sense.

9/1 sx/sp/so
 

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Sexual/Self-pres


The energy of the sexual instinct is at odds with the dominant type Nine energy and makes for a conflicted subtype. These Nines can appear to have a stronger connection to Three, for this reason. The assertive fiery energy engages in a constant push-pull with the calm peace-seeking energy of the Nine. This subtype can have an intense relationship with their environment. They are often drawn to solo sports or to an active engagement with nature that involves some risk and exertion. These Nines are drawn to peak experiences. They might enjoy outdoor solo sports or engaging in nature by way of hiking, rock climbing etc.

With the social instinct last in the stacking, there can be an on/off quality when it comes to relating and these Nines are often somewhat moodier than the other subtypes. As with the self-pres/sexual, this subtype might not engage socially with the same smoothness as other subtypes of Nine. They seem to go towards others in a staccato fashion - they connect in bursts, then withdraw.

When it comes to intimate relationships, this subtype can be needy. The merging of the Nine combines with the intensity of the sexual instinct to create a subtype that will always be in danger of losing themselves in a relationship. Their boundaries for themselves and their partner can become blurred which can lead to conflicts. This subtype might have a hard time judging clearly the degree to which they have merged.


Oh no. I am doomed. The one thing I want most in life I will never get because of this. :crying:
 

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That's actually typical since E9s do relate to all or most of the other eight types in some way. It can be just as arduous to determine one's wing type under the E9 since you either relate well to both, or do not relate to either. The process is difficult. I found the enneagram long before I knew about MBTI. I had to take a break from the system for years and came back later. The process should be no different than determining your best fit type in MB since it should also take some self-analysis in lieu of tests.
This is interesting. I have a hard time determining my ennetype, the wings and my MBTI type because I can relate to bits and pieces of every type. As for type 9 wings. I can relate to morality and perfectionistic 1 wing and the quick temper, need for autonomy of the 8 wing.
 

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I'm SP/SO...The most selfish type, at least that's what I think.
 

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I strongly believe that I'm sp/sx and for the longest time (like, many, many years. perhaps the whole of my late-childhood to just even this year)as average-unhealthy, I was so doormatty (most of the time) that I can't imagine anyone being MORE of a doormat than me :|

So I suppose I didn't fit the 'more assertive' bit of the description.
 

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MOTM Jan 2012
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I strongly believe that I'm sp/sx and for the longest time (like, many, many years. perhaps the whole of my late-childhood to just even this year)as average-unhealthy, I was so doormatty (most of the time) that I can't imagine anyone being MORE of a doormat than me :|

So I suppose I didn't fit the 'more assertive' bit of the description.
I think that there might be more factors involved in your lack of self-assertion other than your stacking, like being 9w1 or being triple withdrawn.
 

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I think that there might be more factors involved in your lack of self-assertion other than your stacking, like being 9w1 or being triple withdrawn.
I don't know any other people who are typed as 9 IRL...maybe an ex, but I'm not sure..but anyway, are 9w8s obviously more assertive? I've read that they're more extroverted and outgoing than 9w1s, but how are they different from 9w1s when it comes to handling conflicts?
 

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MOTM Jan 2012
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I don't know any other people who are typed as 9 IRL...maybe an ex, but I'm not sure..but anyway, are 9w8s obviously more assertive? I've read that they're more extroverted and outgoing than 9w1s, but how are they different from 9w1s when it comes to handling conflicts?
Maybe not more extraverted. But from my experience, while I don't like conflict, I have no problem standing up for myself or asserting myself when necessary. And I'm more likely to get into conflict than the 9w1. I like to think my 9w8 motto would be "Walk softly, carry a big stick." XD I'll engage in conflict if I think it is necessary in maintaining my inner peace.
 

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Self-pres/Social
This subtype is the most self-effacing of type Nine, possibly the least assertive of all the enneagram types. They can feel as though they have been looked over and passed by. While they do desire attention and recognition, with the sexual instinct last in the stacking, they seldom actively pursue it. They feel as though it’s just not worth it. This subtype is usually very deliberate and methodical in their speech. They sometimes get frustrated because they don’t feel that they can say what they really want to say. They are therefore often very short and concise with their communication, not wanting to provoke any confrontation. But when given a chance and the time to express themselves, they can be quite talkative. While self-pres needs are important to this type, the fact that they are essentially Nines, sometimes causes them to put the needs of others before their own. When under stress, this type is likely to do busy work, anything that distracts them from their problems.

In relationships, the self-pres instinct combines with the merging qualities of the Nine to make a person committed and connected strongly in areas of security, home and other practical matters. They merge their environment with their loved ones. On the down side, this subtype can be passive-aggressive and withdraw under stress, holding back affection. They could possibly go long periods of time without talking to their spouse directly.
This one seems a lot like me. Especially the second paragraph. Also, the part in the first paragraph getting flustered about the way the words come out and not knowing what I actually want (it's a 9 thing in general).
 

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It not easy being a 9! I just owned the fact after so much struggle that I am definitely a 9 but the subcategories are all me - this is such a bitter sweet process. There is relief knowing its not my fault who I am and I'm not alone but there such a sadness remembering how limiting 9 ness is but paradoxically it's the richest inner life of all the types.
 

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This one seems a lot like me. Especially the second paragraph. Also, the part in the first paragraph getting flustered about the way the words come out and not knowing what I actually want (it's a 9 thing in general).
I talk in 30 second sound bites ..always making sure the other person has a chance to say what's on their mind before me...I am a natural leader but never could talk very much in a group...one on one I can talk a blue streak though!
 
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