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I'm debating where I want to apply to grad schools, and as a bassoonist, the choice of school basically comes down to the bassoon teacher at the school. I'm researching these people's biographies, and I think I might not be typing them on enough information (my Ne is showing).

How specifically would you type these people?


Person A:

Degree in Philosophy, Composer, Arranger, "First Baroque Bassoon Teacher at the Paris Conservatoire," and "He lives in _____ with his wife - a native of the city - and their two children." Has an EXHAUSTIVE Curriculum Vitae.

Person B: (Quoted as talking about hiring Person C to teach alongside him)

"Her expressive and controlled playing, her insightful teaching and her wonderfully open personality all combine to make her an exceptional model and mentor for our students. With two full-time bassoon professors, IU can now offer unique opportunities for bassoon students in all degree areas and interests."

Offers basically no biographical information about himself except that he taught someone else for a whole chunk of time. He's well known for that tenure there, as it was very successful. He is an orchestral musician and generally considered a great pedagogue.


Person C:

"It is very much an honor to become a part of the outstanding faculty of the School of Music." ""It is arguably one of the very finest music schools in the world, with a longstanding history of musical excellence. I hope that my many years of teaching, orchestral experience, eclectic chamber music performances and interest in new music will enhance and complement the already distinguished bassoon studio."

"People have always said the bassoon sounds like the human soul." (She's the first person I've ever heard say that.)


Offers an exhaustive list of her accomplishments and the people she's worked with, and ends it with "to name a few." She is an orchestral musician.


Person D:

"
His greatest pleasures include talking with his daughter, a math major at the University of Chicago, having coffee with his son, a violist in his third season with the Minnesota Orchestra, walking and biking with his wife, Elsa Nilsson, and playing online chess."

He specializes in playing chamber music, but is also an orchestral musician.


Person E:

Holds a BS in Engineering from MIT. Made the Premier recording of the Hummel bassoon concerto (which is now very standard). Records Vivaldi, Mozart, and that sort of thing. On his orchestra's website, underneath his bio, he picked Rachmaninoff and Stravinsky as his favorite program of the season, as a sort of advertisement. Has a bassoon with gold plating, which is generally considered an ugly option.

Person F:

Is part of the Orpheus ensemble, which is conductorless. It's run kind of like socialism? He is very recorded, and has done CDs of Baroque music, Brazilian music, Ravel arrangements, Dvorak, and Romantic recital works. His website is full of quotations in praise of his recordings, and his bio is made up mostly of his work as a soloist. He apparently makes an effort to contrast being "the clown of the orchestra" with "sad and mournful," but those quotations are not from him.

Person G:

Has a blog where she talks about her childhood in the wilderness. She has blue hair, and likes to have gowns custom made for her out of leather and feathers for her performances which match her hair and her orange bassoon. She makes her reeds on site when she performs, which is extremely unusual, and is seen usually as impractical and super risky. "I feel like a mythical, improbable creature, leaping from meteor to meteor, solid ground under my feet but somehow the universe always flying past more quickly than I can perceive."

Person H:

Has a website of comprehensive exercises and instructional videos for beginning bassoonists. She co-founded an annual competition for female bassoonists in the tradition of Vivaldi writing his bassoon concerti for girls in an orphanage. "Based on my own experience that hard work pays off by cultivating a deeper love of the art of music, I instill in my students the drive to achieve the highest level of musicianship through goal oriented practice. Since ultimately, each person needs to be his or her own teacher, I challenge students to listen for the refinements and artistry that I covet in my own playing, and to develop problem solving strategies. I am insistent upon good practice habits, which we frequently discuss and put to use in lessons. My students are expected to play every note musically, with a beautiful sound and artistic purpose. Since posture, breathing and relaxation are the foundations of good tone production and technique, we frequently address those issues. I demand patient, intelligent work on technique, and constant attention to pitch and tone and phrase through heightened listening skills. Our studio has a high quality CD recorder and we record every lesson so we can listen back together to discuss what we hear. My intricate system of syllabi ensures that all students are benefiting from scales, long-tones, single-tonguing and double-tonguing exercises, vibrato exercises, and rhythmic training and I hold midterm and final exams on those exercises. Repertoire assignments are tailored to the individual student, and usually include a balance of solo repertoire, etudes and orchestral excerpts. My high standards sustain themselves through my patient and nurturing demeanor – I love what I do."

For Fun, Person I:

Has written pieces called Fish Phase, for two contrabassoons and goldfish, Lips of Steel for cello and jello, and The Monster who Devoured Cleveland, for bassoon quartet. He's hardly a mystery.
 

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黐線 ~Chiseen~
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Person A is Type A positive

Person B is Type B negative

Person C is Type AB positive

Person D is Type O negative

Person E is Type AB positive

Person F is Type B positive

Person G is Type A negative

Person H is Type O positive


What do I win?

Oh, Person I is a Vampire and can take any blood type.
 

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This is a tough one because you can't really judge these people on paper alone. I would probably choose B, but...

Most of them will be egomaniacal dickweeds. You just have to meet with some of them and carefully choose the lesser of several evils. They're all nuts in their own special way.
 
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