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INTPs, select the types you've dated (> 2 weeks) or been in a relationship with:

  • ISTJ

    Votes: 4 5.6%
  • ISTP

    Votes: 6 8.3%
  • ESTP

    Votes: 10 13.9%
  • ESTJ

    Votes: 3 4.2%
  • ISFJ

    Votes: 7 9.7%
  • ISFP

    Votes: 8 11.1%
  • ESFP

    Votes: 11 15.3%
  • ESFJ

    Votes: 10 13.9%
  • INFJ

    Votes: 9 12.5%
  • INFP

    Votes: 10 13.9%
  • ENFP

    Votes: 18 25.0%
  • ENFJ

    Votes: 7 9.7%
  • INTJ

    Votes: 12 16.7%
  • INTP

    Votes: 12 16.7%
  • ENTP

    Votes: 7 9.7%
  • ENTJ

    Votes: 5 6.9%
  • I'm not an INTP but still longed to click something, somewhere for some reason.

    Votes: 11 15.3%

  • Total voters
    72
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Discussion Starter #1
Go with whatever your impression of these things is.
 

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I’m picky as hell and spend more time flirting than actually dating. I’ve had two relationships that lasted longer than 6 months:


  1. ESFJ dude. We had a lot of sex, but he kept expecting a “typical” (??) girl, and my high self-esteem and sexuality made him feel inadequate; I found his low self-esteem and need for constant masculine affirmation annoying.
  2. INTP/J girl. Very intense and we clicked perfectly—when we were together, but lol long distance. It lasted about 3 years in spite of it.
I tend to attract IS/NFPs. I have no idea why, we would never work out.
 

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Similar to @hela in that I'm picky, haven't had much luck in long term stuff and mostly just window shop.

One long term with INFJ.
Tons of dating though. I attract ESFPs a lot. Or they at least make it the most obvious. Otherwise I'm oblivious if someone likes me.
The ones I like are never ever available.
It's sad when your best prospects are ones you are "waiting out."

I do wonder if picky is the right word for it sometimes, or if we are both just doing each other a favor by not dating just to date.
 

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I've been extremely unlucky I think. I had two romances during high school that both lasted a couple of months and then a pseudo-relationship that ended before it started. I've been single for over 5 years :unsure: Been feeling the need for a long-term partner for the past 2-3 years or so but I never seem to meet someone to connect with even though I do meet interesting guys, but we just seem to fuse off after a while and it never moves along more than some basic friendship level.

I honestly have no idea what kind of guys I attract... When it comes to IRL dating I'm very oblivious to everything. I also keep thinking that I'm not good-looking enough for a guy to ever want to date me, and I lack the social skill to kind of make it happen, apparently.

Out of the guys I've met on the 'net though, I seem to connect the most to INFx types. Not all surprised about it really. I have honestly started to consider joining a dating site because with this snail pace I might never find a partner until I'm old and wrinkled and I don't quite like that idea. For me it's more about physical and emotional intimacy I suppose, not so much living up to social expectations to have kids and a house. I know my dad secretely yearns for it though, since I'm his only child even if not even biologically related.

Despite that my ESFP brother seem to have a slightly better success hitting off more girls, I think his extreme immature way of being (he's almost 30 but still lives like a teenager would and his apartment is a mess and full with things - if I was dating him long-term I think it would eventually scare me too as it would say something about his ability to commit) scares girls off. Maybe I'm just silly for making it a competition like that, I don't know.

But yes, I wish I could sex myself up somehow while still being me. I got a sexy mind, ye?
 

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An INFJ guy for about a year. I was myself in 100%, didn't have to explain every little "unclear" thought or things I said, he simply.. got it. I wish it could last longer, a great person he was.
Before that, an ESFJ. He came to the conclusion that I'm "either a sociopath or a misanthrope" (in these exact words) when I showed no interest in constantly being around people, being overly.. kitschy, or showing public signs of affection.. Ended fast enough ^^"

I seem to attract older people usually.. way older. It's a bit disturbing at times.
I don't know though. I never look for a relationship, if it comes it comes.. I just go with it, I'm pretty spontaneous with this and many other things in life
 

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ISFJ- She was agreeable at first, then became controlling. We started to lose respect for each other due to our overwhelming differences. But we ended it well and are still friends.

INFJ- She was understanding and we really had fun 'figuring eachother out', but she really disliked my interest in the macabre. That's not why we didn't work out though, haha.
 

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l went with the longest lasting, which were INTJ and ENFP.

With the INTJ we were both just weird, practically genderless people. The ENFP sort of made me "the man" lol.
 

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Maid of Time
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I've dated 1 ENTP, 1 ISFP, 2 INFJ, 1 ESFJ. They all had Crazy with them.
Crazy is better than Boring.

... within reason.
 

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Crazy is better than Boring.

... within reason.
Very true :) I actually have no regrets about any of them, I learned a lot from them.

Not sure how I forgot the last one I dated, Not sure what I'd qualify her as either. She had no problems saying what she wanted to say, LOVED conflict, she'd pick a fight just for the hell of it. Certainly not a big thinker. Her circle of friends really is just one person, so I'd say Introverted. But then most people simply didn't like her cuz she was kind of a B. She was always moving too, so maybe ISFP. When it was just her and I she was sweet and I really liked her for some reason but she was the most difficult relationship I've had.
 

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Maid of Time
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Very true :) I actually have no regrets about any of them, I learned a lot from them.
Well, there is that. I will definitely say I grew up a lot by trying to make something work with people who were a lot different than me, and even with the relationships over, I still have the things I learned to help me with my next relationship(s).
 

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Well, there is that. I will definitely say I grew up a lot by trying to make something work with people who were a lot different than me, and even with the relationships over, I still have the things I learned to help me with my next relationship(s).
Same, that's what l aim for in most areas life, pretty much.

lt's great that people take a lot of time to understand themselves now but l feel like so many younger people don't even feel like they're obligated to deal with people who are different than them or really even anything that makes them uncomfortable.

l don't see them ever growing up lol.

Maybe l should take my rant to the Generations forum though. l sound like a grumpy Gen Xer. And l'm not, even.
 

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Maid of Time
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It's great that people take a lot of time to understand themselves now but l feel like so many younger people don't even feel like they're obligated to deal with people who are different than them or really even anything that makes them uncomfortable.

l don't see them ever growing up lol.

Maybe l should take my rant to the Generations forum though. l sound like a grumpy Gen Xer. And l'm not, even.
It's kind of funny at how the growing diversity and opportunities to find diverse niche groups of like-minded people might end up making individuals (as culture grows more diverse) less diverse, as individuals find safe environments to roost that simply reflect who they already are and thus not challenge them to change or grow.

There's a flip side to everything, I suppose....
 

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Same, that's what l aim for in most areas life, pretty much.

lt's great that people take a lot of time to understand themselves now but l feel like so many younger people don't even feel like they're obligated to deal with people who are different than them or really even anything that makes them uncomfortable.

l don't see them ever growing up lol.

Maybe l should take my rant to the Generations forum though. l sound like a grumpy Gen Xer. And l'm not, even.
I've been noticing this a lot lately.

Going to school with younger people who grew up interneting and using social networking and gaming and all that, it really struck me. They have a really hard time interacting with people outside their cliques. I know people have always been like that, but there used to be some sense of common courtesy when I was their age. It wasn't cool to just jump on anyone who was different, it was cooler to be the bigger person, especially when it came to the "socially vulnerable" -- like aspies, learning disabled, poor people, etc. There were still bullies, but they were the rarer exception. Now it's just a free-for-all of constant shit-slinging. They do it on their phones all through class.

The internet might be making people dumber in certain key ways.
 

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It's kind of funny at how the growing diversity and opportunities to find diverse niche groups of like-minded people might end up making individuals (as culture grows more diverse) less diverse, as individuals find safe environments to roost that simply reflect who they already are and thus not challenge them to change or grow.

There's a flip side to everything, I suppose....
:D

Exactly. l see it with everything.

Also a reluctance to "label" anything at the same time, which results in completely ignoring some of the positive differences that different groups of people have, too.

But who knows, they're going to become the adults who run everything soon enough and then maybe every identifiable object or label as we know it will cease to exist and we'll all coexist as an ageless, genderless, multi-racial, pansexual amorphous blob lol.
 

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Both of my relationships were more pseudo-relationships than real ones. But whatever.
I'm typing these people in retrospect, because I don't date based on MBTI.

INFP - Sweet guy. I tried to convince myself we had more in common than we did. He had low self-confidence, kind of wimpy. Very intelligent. Very romantic. Kind of flaky. I dumped him, we're still friends.

ENTP - Very witty, weird. We clicked really well conversationally. We flirted while having conversations about etymology, which I'm under the impression is an NT kind of thing to do. Oh God, he was hot. More confident than I was. Good kisser. The relationship ended when he suddenly flaked when it seemed like the relationship had reached the point when it needed to be serious. We don't really talk any more, but I ran into him at a bowling alley recently and it wasn't terribly awkward.
 

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:D

Exactly. l see it with everything.

Also a reluctance to "label" anything at the same time, which results in completely ignoring some of the positive differences that different groups of people have, too.


But who knows, they're going to become the adults who run everything soon enough and then maybe every identifiable object or label as we know will cease to exist and we'll all coexist as an ageless, genderless, multi-racial, pansexual amorphous blob lol.
I don't notice that at all. Where I live almost everyone has some kind of label. Sexually people are a lot more likely to be "bi" or "pan", though, especially people who spend a lot of time on fetish sites/communities. I'll grant that.
 

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Same, that's what l aim for in most areas life, pretty much.

lt's great that people take a lot of time to understand themselves now but l feel like so many younger people don't even feel like they're obligated to deal with people who are different than them or really even anything that makes them uncomfortable.

l don't see them ever growing up lol.

Maybe l should take my rant to the Generations forum though. l sound like a grumpy Gen Xer. And l'm not, even.
I agree with you, and I was born in the 90s. :p

It's important to actually realize that it takes all types. And I've been pleasantly surprised or have learned from people who are extremely different than I am.
 

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An INTP: Everything that wasn't entirely esoteric she had no respect for. Even HUMOR. Entirely intense, impersonal, cold even towards me. I lost interest fast.

INTJ: Even more extreme than the intp.

ESFP: Religious fanatic, I think I enjoyed the fact that my actions put her into turmoil. Because of me she had sex before marriage, went to a party and engaged in light drug use, and began "questioning god." I'm laughing right now I went into her life and flipped everything upside down. I didn't have that malicious intent, the way that I naturally am personality wise simply resulted in all of that happening.

ENTP: We were friends with benefits. We were both too "free" to commit to each other. I wouldn't of wanted that in any case.

ISFP: We have a love hate relationship. Were not actually dating though. She has an obscene sense of humor as well and still manages to be classy. She's good looking too like.......it's intimidating. It's extremely complicated we've both stated that we like each other but she's in a relationship and I drift around from person to person (I'd be willing to commit to her). When I'm nice to her she's suddenly mean. When I ignore her she says she misses me. If I'm apathetic towards her she gets VERY affectionate towards me. So I start acknowledging her again and then she's indifferent towards me again. It's a constant game of rejection and acceptance on both of our parts. Sometimes she'll say something deep regarding how she feels (towards me) and then insult me in a joking manner almost if what she said embarrassed her. And I'm OVERLY sarcastic at times so my reply usually stings, and then she gets upset. Also she gets EXTREMELY jealous even though were not together. I can't tell if she actually likes me. I like her the most out of all of the above though.

I can't believe I'm in that type of relationship.
 

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Maid of Time
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But who knows, they're going to become the adults who run everything soon enough and then maybe every identifiable object or label as we know it will cease to exist and we'll all coexist as an ageless, genderless, multi-racial, pansexual amorphous blob lol.
Long live the socially evolving goo!

 
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