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did my feelings justify emailing some one whom I 'need' to leave alone?

  • Yeah, love is entitled to be heard.

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  • That's tricky and hard for me to say, especially with out more context.

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  • No, you should try harder.

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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I- I Just emailed my ex with yet another heart felt apology, but to give a small bit of context last we spoke her other friend referred to me as a cyber stalker and that I best not contact her ever again - but, I was feeling a moment, and rather inspired to snap a picture out my window and manipulate it with filters to portray a narrative of her soul still reaching out to me in the pattern of clouds and lights oddly enough coming from the direction of the world she lives in...

point is, I'm still not over her after almost 2 years and it can best be described I guess as a sickness - was emailing her not such a smart thing to do? should I have waited longer?? I hate this remanence of a connection I still feel for some one when I know it can't be healthy and very much still unaccepting of its delusion :v

here's the rendered image, it's hard to encapsulate what makes this basic image have the meaning that it does to me and what I hope will convey to this person I'm sending it to - I just really want to say some thing to them you know? I'm not asking for forgiveness or re connecting again - just to let them know I still am grateful for them having been apart of my experience...
Water Atmosphere Purple Wood Tree
 

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Personally, I think because you miss her so much it's time to go all in and put everything on the line. I don't think you'll regret it. If she does end up rejecting you it might be a lot easier to move on.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Well the thing is she had told me to fuck off the actual last thing she said to me so youd think thatd of been all i needed to hear...
 

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Well the thing is she had told me to fuck off the actual last thing she said to me so youd think thatd of been all i needed to hear...
I know it's probably terribly degrading but I think if it were me I would give it one last all or nothing.
 

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Don’t email her. If you want to talk there are better ways, meet for a coffee etc. Your emotions are not in check so I think you can’t get a normal response even if she wants to talk.
 
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
She lives in an other country x), I never actually met this person, it was a virtual relation whom I like for their personality alone... Crazy right?

Prob more accurate to say my unofficial first gf AND ex 😅
 

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Honestly you should try to never let it get to "fuck off".

Something as slight as ignoring your messages should be enough for you to move on. The more you linger on unreciprocated love, the more time you take away from yourself from pursing worthwhile ventures.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Honestly you should try to never let it get to "fuck off".

Something as slight as ignoring your messages should be enough for you to move on. The more you linger on unreciprocated love, the more time you take away from yourself from pursing worthwhile ventures.
Yeah, the clear voice of reason... I just relapse a touch hard when I finally do (2 years in the making).

Im gonna try paying for the first time ever a chat line while i get ice cream... Maybe a combination of that work and these forums will fill that void for me o:
 

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You're going to fit right in on PerK 'cause there are plenty of stalkers on this site. Your ex is lucky since the two of you were actually in an LDR and that you mean her no harm (this might be my presumption). My stalkers are people I don't know from a hole in the ground and don't care to, who don't wish me well.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
You're going to fit right in on PerK 'cause there are plenty of stalkers on this site. Your ex is lucky since the two of you were actually in an LDR and that you mean her no harm (this might be my presumption). My stalkers are people I don't know from a hole in the ground and don't care to, who don't wish me well.
sounds very nerve wracking >.<
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Nope. Can't take crazies seriously.
well yeah you can't...

thankfully the person I emailed didnt respond yet and hopefully already deleted it cause I did send it out of a total impulse in that moment - they don't take me serious either x_x hopefully itll be another 2 years if ever I stupidly send them another message :O
 

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well yeah you can't...
Of course not. Look at all the sock puppets they keep creating which are accomplishing nothing. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, hoping for a different result.

thankfully the person I emailed didnt respond yet and hopefully already deleted it cause I did send it out of a total impulse in that moment - they don't take me serious either x_x hopefully itll be another 2 years if ever I stupidly send them another message :O
Just let her go. If she wanted to be in touch with you, she would have already contacted you.
 

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I remembered watching some videos before talking about how most people often end up choosing the wrong partners in life, and that most people often end up falling in love with someone who brings them pain, rather than falling in love with someone who makes them happy. This seems like what is happening in your situation right now.

In other words, anyone who causes you pain and heartbreak is the wrong person for you. You know you've met the right person when you met someone who makes you happy, rather than someone who brings you pain.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 · (Edited)
Of course not. Look at all the sock puppets they keep creating which are accomplishing nothing. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, hoping for a different result.

Just let her go. If she wanted to be in touch with you, she would have already contacted you.
The scary part is me coming from a background as a rhythm gamer and experimental sound designer I use to pride myself on becoming insane... Even being alone use to sound like a good idea so i could focus on my projects D: so now I need to do an 180.

I mean look at this 'insane' art, is it worth the emotional struggle? maybe that shouldn't even be a question..
Light Purple Visual effect lighting Art Magenta

I don't even think things I create are even that good, my point is, I still valued my own expression over that of developing relations with other people :O

Just providing a bit of context on the trajectory of my sanity as being anything but consistent for this last half of my life lmao
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I remembered watching some videos before talking about how most people often end up choosing the wrong partners in life, and that most people often end up falling in love with someone who brings them pain, rather than falling in love with someone who makes them happy. This seems like what is happening in your situation right now.

In other words, anyone who causes you pain and heartbreak is the wrong person for you. You know you've met the right person when you met someone who makes you happy, rather than someone who brings you pain.
I'm definitely going to agree with you here - and while I would try to take what you're saying out of temptation to some how make a case why I should still be fighting for some thing that's in reality already gone/over (pretty much manipulative) I realize I need to shut up and not only 'agree' with advice but also follow it... but my brain likes to inverse things ig and so I have to in a sense do a dual process to trick myself internally while doing the actual right thing externally otherwise my emotions trigger a confusion? I guess??
 

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I'm definitely going to agree with you here - and while I would try to take what you're saying out of temptation to some how make a case why I should still be fighting for some thing that's in reality already gone/over (pretty much manipulative) I realize I need to shut up and not only 'agree' with advice but also follow it... but my brain likes to inverse things ig and so I have to in a sense do a dual process to trick myself internally while doing the actual right thing externally otherwise my emotions trigger a confusion? I guess??
Just focus your attention on all her flaws and your emotions will start to catch up. Also, this website over here might be helpful for your situation:

If you want to get over someone, you have to let yourself experience all the different stages of grief. Currently, you're still in the denial stage, and haven't fully accepted the break-up yet, so it will take time for you to get over your ex. And I think you should focus more on self-healing at the moment. Like instead of focusing on how you can win your ex back and get back into her good books, you can focus more on what you managed to learn from this break-up, how to avoid making the same mistakes in your future relationships, and what you looked for in your future partners etc.

And by the way, it takes two hands to clap in a relationship, and I find it weird that your ex is pushing all the blame onto you.
Maybe you would be more well-matched with a different type of woman, such as a woman who has secure attachment style, and at the same time is your dual in socionics ESFP.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Yeah ive learned and accepted quite a lot, most recently was we are essentially both different people from when met each other - the person I felt the way I did feels gone which is a good resolution i think to show we both technically grew from this chapter i think.
 

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I- I Just emailed my ex with yet another heart felt apology, but to give a small bit of context last we spoke her other friend referred to me as a cyber stalker and that I best not contact her ever again - but, I was feeling a moment, and rather inspired to snap a picture out my window and manipulate it with filters to portray a narrative of her soul still reaching out to me in the pattern of clouds and lights oddly enough coming from the direction of the world she lives in...

point is, I'm still not over her after almost 2 years and it can best be described I guess as a sickness - was emailing her not such a smart thing to do? should I have waited longer?? I hate this remanence of a connection I still feel for some one when I know it can't be healthy and very much still unaccepting of its delusion :v

here's the rendered image, it's hard to encapsulate what makes this basic image have the meaning that it does to me and what I hope will convey to this person I'm sending it to - I just really want to say some thing to them you know? I'm not asking for forgiveness or re connecting again - just to let them know I still am grateful for them having been apart of my experience...
View attachment 890882
I miss my wife of 15 years (20 years together) and it has been 6 years since the divorce. She's moved on. I haven't been able to. I miss the woman I knew and loved, but she isn't that person anymore. Over the last 20 months, I've REALLY missed having her around during the pandemic. I've been all alone through all of it.

I think you may want to discuss your feelings with a professional, if that's possible. They will help you sort through what's going on and figure out how to proceed from here.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
I miss my wife of 15 years (20 years together) and it has been 6 years since the divorce. She's moved on. I haven't been able to. I miss the woman I knew and loved, but she isn't that person anymore. Over the last 20 months, I've REALLY missed having her around during the pandemic. I've been all alone through all of it.

I think you may want to discuss your feelings with a professional, if that's possible. They will help you sort through what's going on and figure out how to proceed from here.
I'm sorry to hear that :c but ye, I kinda had to be my own therapist for the most part and I'd say all things considered I'm doing an okay job - it's just there are the typical peaks and valleys and I just need to stay focused on myself and what I'm doing.

Hope you keep trying to hold strong you're self, lord knows we all have those 'day's' but REST assure you'll feel amazing before you know it once you've held out till the last second! it always happens that way~
 
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