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Discussion Starter #1
HELP.
I am an INFP (female) and I have found myself liking and ENTP male friend more than one should.
We have, despite our differences, become good friends. We share the interest of long and abstract discussions about life and all its aspects. We have spent time along, without being in a group, but this has always been very relaxed. It is enjoyable and nice and we can simple walk around for hours while only talking. However, by this meaning; with no obvious romantic feeling to it.

However, during text I find him quite flirtatious, and he tends to start conversations often and for silly reasons.

One day he seems extremely excited to see me in the hallway, others we extend looks (none of us smiles) but we stare for a bit.

Since I really like him a lot, I would be more than thankful for help.

1. Since ENTPs are quite outgoing and social and charming and all that (yup.he is reaaally a real entp) - how do one tell that it is more than just friends? Or more than just how "they simple treat everyone with their personality"?
2. Do you think and ENTP and INFP could work?
3. What is the best way to approach an ENTP romantically?


(After several months of not knowing what has been going on between us I am thinking of taking the step of telling him. I'm terrified haha. So, tips on how to do that in the best of way would be great)

Thank you so much if/for taking your time!:))):carrot: the carrot has nothing to do with anything. simply outstandingly perfect.
 

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3. What is the best way to approach an ENTP romantically?
easy, don't

if he's a guy and ENTP and interested in you romantically then he's unlikely to hesitate to approach you

we can't help but be flirtatious w/ everyone ...making jokes, trying to be polite charming, making sexual innuedos is kinda what we do ....that doesn't mean he's romantically interested in you. If you take that stuff personally when it's not and you make it clear that you taking that stuff personally, then for me at least it would make it difficult to continue to be around you because then you'd be making it uncomfortable and stressful to just be myself around you.
 

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hahah, yup I was afraid of that being the case and perhaps i should not then..,anyway, Thanks for confirming that thesis and long live the truth. Thank u!:))
glad you took my opinion well, it's possible he likes you, things aren't always black and white, and if you're young he may be inexperienced approaching girls, but I find when it comes to relationships either it just happens on its own or it doesn't ..no need to take it to heart when it doesn't and need to overly try to make something happen because usually that just makes it awkward and ruins a potential friendship.

You could drop subtle hints you'd be interested in being more than friends but I wouldn't invest too much of your emotions into it so you can be satisfied just being friends if he doesn't take the bait.
 

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Yes we are both 17 so I guess there is a few meters left to the coffin.

I would say that I am an INFP, definitely, but as a backlash after life adversity, I have received traits of mine that may be a maximum of misplaced into my personality. I am therefore not an excessive, unsafe INFP: as hysterical over-interpreting things. It's just that he gives so much mixed signals that even I, who can be quite skeptical and cynical, does not manage to drown the hope. He said at one point that "he never met a girl like me" and that he "could speak to me as to anyone else." This, I understand, can sound to the extreme of cheesy that you almost feel like eating it, however - it was a genuine conversation and not a pick up line so too speak. ah, guess everyone says this btw. haha nevermind.

However, those words of his perhaps only proofs that what this is, is only a really good connection between two individuals in this age than as "ahh we are meant for each other" kind of way haha?

Yep, im trying to do so that my expectation is that he do not like me in that way. That way, I get either a positive surprise - or I get to be right? I is waterproof. gotta stay safe.

Thank you so much for answering!! I am new on the platform. So I am truly grateful your honest and clear answers. how can anyone NOT like an ENTP? or nah...Im taking that back haha. Anyhow, you are indeed very charming. and you know it. which makes it all worse. ugh.

PS. Do you have any personal experiences of female INFP:s and how were those relationships? If you would not mind sharing? if its bad news, i can take it.
 

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A 17 year-old ENTP is a tuff creature to love.

He'll probably be a jerk without noticing it and even while willing to be a good boy. Now, if that happens, talk directly to him about that specifically.

Here, an article about what you should know about ENTPs before you flirt with one.

Here’s What You Should Know Before You Date An ENTP | Thought Catalog
 
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I'm a senior in a highschool (17), and I'm also a male ENTP who's been drawn to this female INFP, so I'll to to explain things.

The one thing that absolutely drives me nuts for her is that I can't figure her out. She is one of the nicest, most optimistic people I know, but I also know she has a darker cynical side that stems from her venturing in existentialism. Its a fascinating dichotomy that baffles my mind. She's cynically idealistic. She also doesn't mind when I am playing devil's advocate, which is a +1000.

With INFP's, you can get these wonderful moments of Ne interaction. She brought up Freudian psychology in a paper she wrote in English class, this led me into introducing MBTI, and in a 40 minute exchange that had us both bouncing with energy, I did my best to explain it.

I personally chose not to approach her, as was her senior year so the last thing I wanted to do is have a high school relationship cloud my choice in college, or be left with the pieces if she ended up going to college far far away. But honestly, I understand that is just how I have rationalized it because I was a wuss.

If you are really interested in him, and you know he's an ENTP, find out what his obsession is right now, and if you have any interest in what he is obsessed with, learn everything there is to know about it. And I mean actually know everything there is to know about it, I know for me one of my pet peeves is when people say they are well versed in something and they don't know much about it at all. Then take your 3 month window before he becomes obsessed with something else. That's what I would recommend as a means to get to know him. If you interest him enough, he will want to try and figure you out. Be interesting to figure out.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
The one thing that absolutely drives me nuts for her is that I can't figure her out. She is one of the nicest, most optimistic people I know, but I also know she has a darker cynical side that stems from her venturing in existentialism. Its a fascinating dichotomy that baffles my mind. She's cynically idealistic. She also doesn't mind when I am playing devil's advocate, which is a +1000.

With INFP's, you can get these wonderful moments of Ne interaction. She brought up Freudian psychology in a paper she wrote in English class, this led me into introducing MBTI, and in a 40 minute exchange that had us both bouncing with energy, I did my best to explain it.

I personally chose not to approach her, as was her senior year so the last thing I wanted to do is have a high school relationship cloud my choice in college, or be left with the pieces if she ended up going to college far far away. But honestly, I understand that is just how I have rationalized it because I was a wuss.

If you are really interested in him, and you know he's an ENTP, find out what his obsession is right now, and if you have any interest in what he is obsessed with, learn everything there is to know about it. And I mean actually know everything there is to know about it, I know for me one of my pet peeves is when people say they are well versed in something and they don't know much about it at all. Then take your 3 month window before he becomes obsessed with something else. That's what I would recommend as a means to get to know him. If you interest him enough, he will want to try and figure you out. Be interesting to figure out.
I'm sorry that it never became you two. I think, or at least I want to think, that ENTPs and INFPs can be a wonderful match. They complement each other and can learn from each other's differences, as long as the various parties have a well-developed self-image that is relatively consistent with reality. (what is reality?yes..,i dont know. but i like discussing it. mail me your theory) jokes aside.

He and I have different political views, and he is very active within his party's youth league. I have really tried to put myself in his situation and see the world from his perspective because politics is a constantly emerging topic between us two.

Interesting to figure out? hahah, that wont be a problem. I haven't even figured out myself yet.

Btw, I must say that the way you described your INFP 'friend. Saying that she was idealistic, optimistic and so on, however still at some times extremely cynical and skeptical. I can really relate. This is exactly how I and people around me describe me. Of course this test and all this is not 'everything' and can not describe everyone. I understand this and that your friend and I are so different in many ways. Yet, still it can sometimes be overwhelming how similar certain things can be.

Thank you so very much for answering and sharing, and all the tips. I really do appropriate it. Good luck with.whatever your current obsession is<3
 

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1. Since ENTPs are quite outgoing and social and charming and all that (yup.he is reaaally a real entp) - how do one tell that it is more than just friends? Or more than just how "they simple treat everyone with their personality"?
Ask him. Its really easy. We wont lie, or hesitate to answer. Plus, Its kinda hot when someone is brutally direct.

2. Do you think and ENTP and INFP could work?
No. Sorry, I tried this but no. It just doesnt.
In my case; I get bored and really disinterested in all your self-fulfilling emotional business, and fade away.
And the INFP is left crying with yet another scar.

3. What is the best way to approach an ENTP romantically?
Well.. What @desire machine said is true, we wont really hesitate much. However, if you do want to approach just go for it. You can even say something really witty or do something really witty if you want some more "special" attention.

I'm sorry that it never became you two. I think, or at least I want to think, that ENTPs and INFPs can be a wonderful match.
Yeah.. well.. no, sadly thats not how it goes. IxFPs are just not good relationship material for ENTPs. (there may be exceptions, and as far as I know, INFPs like to "feel" that they are the unrealistic exception.)

Oh, and protip:
Dont tell an ENTP that you "want to think" something.
 
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1. Since ENTPs are quite outgoing and social and charming and all that (yup.he is reaaally a real entp) - how do one tell that it is more than just friends? Or more than just how "they simple treat everyone with their personality"?
Um. Yeah. @Tzara is right to just ask. Though sometimes I'm not even sure of people I like. I need time to discover their personality. If he doesn't explicitly use the word 'friend' in his explanation then he is considering you.

2. Do you think and ENTP and INFP could work?
Yes, depending on the ENTP. Personally I can only see a friendship or short fling with INFPs. Although INFPs greatly appreciate my personality, I just don't get the deep philosophical debates or the witty banter that I can get from other intuitives. I do get along well with INFPs, but I never feel complete.

3. What is the best way to approach an ENTP romantically?
I actually find that most of the people whom admire me a lot are IXFPs. The affection is nice but I hate not having a challenge. If you want to win him over- grab his interest but just barely. Give him some attention and leave right after. Don't give anything extra - then rinse and repeat. I LOVE mysterious girls. I love mysterious anything really lol.

Things that would grab his attention would probably be some sort of wit or controversial topic. Make some intelligent humor or talk about your stances on the death penalty. Make sure you have your own stance/thoughts so he can appreciate your intellect - I can tell if someone can't form their own opinion and it's a huge turn off. But also make sure that you're open to hear new thoughts/ideas so he can feel comfortable sharing with you - stubborn people are a huge turn off as well. Get him to think hard and his attention will be yours. But make sure that you don't do anything extra - meaning don't contact him anymore outside of grabbing his interest. Once you have his interest he will eventually contact you. Keep letting him contact you first until you feel safe that you have secured most of his interest - then you can start initiating back. The last step is important! As soon as I feel like I don't have to work for someone I lose so much interest in them.

Oh... and what I've just said is pretty manipulative. It will work if you execute it properly. But honestly the best thing is to just be yourself. Sure you might not win him over, but why pretend to be someone you're not? If you be yourself, you'll find a guy who is much better suited for you and he will love you for YOU not a faked version of you. Good luck and I hope everything works out in your favor!

EDIT: I'm sure MBTI will greatly interest him. And it's great because you're already interested in psychology. Ask him to take the test and inform him on your vast knowledge of personality types and how they play a role in understanding oneself and society. Now that will spark his attention.
 
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