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This is why I've been scarce here of late. I've been in a lot of pain, and I don't like dumping that all over those near me, they certainly don't need my issues added to their own. Additionally it takes me time for the emotional storms to subside so that I can get a handle on what I actually feel and what I need to do as a result. I don't really give a damn if people feel I'm being too sensitive, but if I can't really articulate my feelings properly then what's the point of giving them voice? So I withdraw and as @Sily put it, lick my wounds.
 

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I need my time away from others to process my hurt feelings. Living in a house with thin walls and a big family (10 kids) made it hard to do this. As a kid when I lived in the city I climbed a maple tree, or went to a fort in the woods to escape. Later, we moved to a place that was just being settled and was formerly hundreds of acres of woods. Only so much was developed to create a wildlife corridor and initially people were being stalked by curious intimidating cougars. I went mad staring at walls when I was 12 and finally laid down in the woods face down in the dirt to cry and a peace overcame me. I didn't end up needed to bawl like anticipated because it was so peaceful. So, I began getting bolder to find release from my anxieties and everyday tensions by walking through the woods and to a rural Puget Sound Beach. Since then I have walked thousands of miles by myself, to deal with life, and to just enjoy the moment. I am still afraid of cougars and I feel that I might encounter one (and know it). I don't look forward to that day, but have some bear spray and listen/watch keenly for that moment. I'm nearly 30 and walks by myself have brought me a lot of peace in life. I think it has even saved me from being heavily medicated.
 

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When I'm hurt I let the demons take over and become an "evil" version of myself. And then I regret it... Till I'm hurt again.
 

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It's a self defence thing. I go away because I need to process the feelings by myself. And we all know how society is with displays of emotions. Most of the time you get no understanding or you are belittled for it, I learned that from a very young age. It's very hard for me to completely open up to people because I feel they will never understand my emotions better than myself. If I still haven't figured it out by myself then I usually in very rare cases seek outside help.
 

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No, I hide because showing vulnerability looks weak. Everyone does this, hence why you see things like those posters encouraging depressed people to open up to someone. This probably even isn't only an "Infp" thing. I don't give a cr*p about others feelings, because they were probably the ones who did it. Why give them the satisfaction? Not showing sadness in fear of affecting others around you is perhaps an Fe trait, because I don't remember ever hiding depression for that reason. But also. everybody does this, not just us infp snowflakes.
 

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This is why I've been scarce here of late. I've been in a lot of pain, and I don't like dumping that all over those near me, they certainly don't need my issues added to their own. Additionally it takes me time for the emotional storms to subside so that I can get a handle on what I actually feel and what I need to do as a result. I don't really give a damn if people feel I'm being too sensitive, but if I can't really articulate my feelings properly then what's the point of giving them voice? So I withdraw and as @Sily put it, lick my wounds.
My 9 friend, you rock! Maybe I'm a 9 also, I'm not fully sure, but a lot of what you say rings true for me also. I seem to connect with 9s more on here, than any other type.
 

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Does it sound logical? Yes.
Is that why I hide? No. I hide when hurt because I don't want to be seen as weak by the other person.

I see that many other people in this thread have talked about not looking weak, and I must say I'm surprised that people are admitting this haha. I'm definitely one of these people. Why? It's childhood conditioning. Whenever I expressed hurt as a child, I was punished by parents, teachers and peers. So I learned to appear strong even if inside I feel weak. It's very rare that I tell people "Hey you hurt me" because I'm very careful not to give them the impression that they have any control over my emotional realm. So I hide.
 

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I tend to avoid pain. If a setting, context, or situation promises to bring pain, then I tend to avoid it. It don't do it to avoid appearing weak or vulnerable. I do it because I am weak and vulnerable. When I set my hand on a surface that I didn't know was hot and it begins to burn my skin, I don't keep it there to dissuade anybody nearby that I am a weak person. I get the hand away from the pain source.

If psychologically/emotionally/spiritually hurt, I pull away from and avoid other people. I isolate myself. I want the pain to stop. I don't discuss it with anyone who I believe would feed the pain, someone who would not understand and would not empathize. So only in this sense do I ever hide when I am hurt. Mostly it's a setting that others don't want to know about this kind of hurt that I may be enduring. It's unsettling. It's disturbing. It's a real downer for their day.

When it comes to physical pain I don't hide when I'm hurt, but I do separate from the pain source as quickly as I am able. I can envision times of physical pain that would prompt me to call for help from others (e.g., broken leg) rather than seek isolation, hide.

So I'm not sure what the original intent of this thread was 5 years ago, whether it was isolating oneself physically or masking the state of being in pain, but I covered both.
 
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As many have said earlier It's not that I hide it because I don't want them to get hurt, no matter how selfish or bitter that sounds. I tend to not show it to anyone, not even my family because I hate being so emotional. I hate how it makes me feel so weak that little things other people say or do can break me down so I dont want to give anyone that satisfaction. Plus, most people in my life haven't appreciated my emotional sensitivity or validated it so, in a way, yes, it is conditioned.
 

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This is SO true! Also how @ProtectorOfKittens said that INFPs get judged for being "too sensitive"/"overreactive", etc.

This quote "INFP do this because if they show they are hurt, then others will potentially be hurt by that display. INFP fear this sort of response, because they are so empathic, and if an INFP causes someone else to hurt, the INFP feels even more hurt than the other feels hurt" that you said really resonated with me.

I feel uncomfortable when I feel hurt because I don't want to bring those negative feelings/emotions/truths to the table and most likely end up hurting another person by saying those things out loud. Also, I just feel guilty when I hurt someone else...even with those healthy boundaries in place, there's still sometimes that thought inside of 'why did you do this and not just keep your mouth shut? Why didn't you just not make a mistake in the first place? Now they're hurting because of you and it's your fault.' That kinda thing.

Also, yeah, I agree...conditioning of others' reactions isn't the 'sole' reason I hide, but I do think it is a contributor of hiding that hurt .... because I don't think I want to feel worse about myself (either by people feeling hurt, their reactions, or them leaving) when I bring what I feel is my 'authentic self' into light.

And @goldentryst "I always believed I hid myself from others when hurt because I don't want to risk losing my pride/appearing weak, haaa." DUDE, I totally relate to this....being/feeling humiliated is like one of the scariest feelings when being vulnerable. :)

This is such an awesome thread to process these things; thank you so much! :) Looking forward to your reply(s)!
 

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I don't know. I can only speculate. Maybe we are that adverse to conflict that if we can handle it ourselves and not violating our core values then we will bottle things up and run away

But if there's no place i can run away to or if i am being accused of something very serious then i blow up

I remember when my cousin's wallet was lost and she accused me of stealing it from her dresser i really blew uo and became violent. So unlike me. I tore her blouse apart jn my anger. My mom was shocked. It was the firdt time i got that angry and the first time my mom saw me angry. In fact no one knew i can be that angry. They always thought i can put up with anything. I didnt talk to my cousin. We live together that time with my mom and i didn't even want to see her. Well she apologized after a few weeks when she found her wallet deeply burried in her closet. I accepted the apology.
 

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So after being in my lair for a while, I've come to this conclusion:

INFP hide an instance when they are hurt. INFP do this because if they show they are hurt, then others will potentially be hurt by that display. INFP fear this sort of response, because they are so empathic, and if an INFP causes someone else to hurt, the INFP feels even more hurt than the other feels hurt.

So it's like a ricochet process. Early in life, an INFP learns how this process occurs through conditioning, and as such avoids all conflict and all displays of negative feelings if possible.

Would any of you say this is a logical way of viewing the tendency?
I've had to witness this act with a male INTP. So from what all I've read, observed and experienced,

Is this the case? That they hide to avoid the ricochet of feelings, fear that they might hurt others, and that might lead to more hurt?

I thought it was this:

He felt very uneasy to admit that he was sensitive and that my playful remarks hurt him (at that time, I didn't know he was an INFP). The society's opinions of how a man should be didn't exactly tally with his sensitive ways and he didn't want that to come in the way and destroy the relationship.

Right from the initial phase, every time I posted anything sarcastic or negative on social media, he'd wonder if it was he that I was targeting.

Ricochet of negativity, yes, but in the case of a male INTP, where does this stem from?

From fear of hurting the ones they love/the ones they have to deal with everyday?

Or from the fear of being mocked at for being not like the stereotyped male?

If I could understand this better, in future, I'll filter out words that can possibly hurt him.

INFP males - could you please be honest and help me out?
 

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I've had to witness this act with a male INTP. So from what all I've read, observed and experienced,

Is this the case? That they hide to avoid the ricochet of feelings, fear that they might hurt others, and that might lead to more hurt?

I thought it was this:

He felt very uneasy to admit that he was sensitive and that my playful remarks hurt him (at that time, I didn't know he was an INFP). The society's opinions of how a man should be didn't exactly tally with his sensitive ways and he didn't want that to come in the way and destroy the relationship.

Right from the initial phase, every time I posted anything sarcastic or negative on social media, he'd wonder if it was he that I was targeting.

Ricochet of negativity, yes, but in the case of a male INTP, where does this stem from?

From fear of hurting the ones they love/the ones they have to deal with everyday?

Or from the fear of being mocked at for being not like the stereotyped male?

If I could understand this better, in future, I'll filter out words that can possibly hurt him.

INFP males - could you please be honest and help me out?
When I have to hide it's like a circuit breaker that was set off. I don't trust my reactions, what I might say, what I might interpret from others. So I hide. I try not to look at social media/news when I'm feeling sensitive.

With an ex I did have a reaction to a facebook post that seemed passive-aggressively pointed at me. I did ask her about it and when she wasn't clear about it I unfriended her. It was a weird situation anyways. We just broke up (and I was really hurt) but she wanted to be friends immediately.

With my wife, if we have an issue where I get my feelings hurt/some kind of general misunderstanding, I hide (or take a walk). The situation becomes more clear if I remove myself from the situation.

I wonder if this is a Fi thing, or Introvert thing, or just humans in general.

edit: I do think it's important to distinguish this hiding (which I think is productive) and passive-aggressive shunning. Hiding in order to recover and think on things when ready is good. Shunning doesn't help anything, and only amplifies the anger from both parties.

edit#2: on the male stereotyping aspect of things, I wouldn't date somebody who wanted a "manly man" stereotype :).
 

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Mine has to do with past experience. Either I need to hide because I'm scared or I need to hide so I can wallow in my pain.
 
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I hide my hurt because I am ashamed because it makes me feel weak.

On the flip side, I desperately want someone to see my when I'm upset and try to console me.

Maybe I'm just crazy? lol
 
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I understand what you guys mean. Thanks for the responses. :)
 

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I just did it today, again!! Went to that favorite room of mine and Withdrew myself there for a while.

Why oh why im affected by little things? Grrrr
 

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Oh, spot on!
I hide when I hurt because I don't want to face conflict at any cost. I don't want make new problem for one. I don't like people see me that I am hurt. I need to be alone to digest this feeling. I believe in this way, I won't make new conflict.
 
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What if the person was someone that you idealized, how would that change your response? Would it immediately dispel the idealization, even if it didn't violate a moral? Or would it be perceived as violating a moral - respect?
I wud get more hurted when ''my people'' criticize me rather than outsiders.
 

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It is only natural for people to hide hurts imo, INFP or not. Most animals do, and homo sapiens is an animal too. If that is disappearing down a hole where you can sob or lick your wounds in peace, or if that is responding with intimidation and aggression to back people off, either way, you're hiding it.

An obviously injured animal tends to draw opportunistic attack from predators far more than a healthy one does. So, why would you broadcast that you're not operating at 100% right now, to what is probably the most vicious, opportunistic, and predatory species on the planet?
 
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