I'm going to go ahead and steal this thread from the INTJs because I think it would be interesting to apply it to INFPs. What does an unhealthy/underdeveloped INFP look like? How do you behave under significant emotional distress? How do you tell a healthy INFP from an unhealthy one?
Unhealthy INFPs
[INFP]
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-----Envision a red boundary line. On one side is my territory. On the other is a neutral zone that borders with everyone else.
-----Most people spread out their defenses. There's a barbed wire fence right at the red boundary line. Shortly thereafter, there are armed guards. As one gets deeper into most people's territory, the defenses get correspondingly nastier at a predictable rate.
-----At my red boundary line, there's just a sign that says, "You really shouldn't keep going. That wouldn't be nice." Here, I'm still an INFP. After several more signs like the first one described, there's a sign that says, "If you're reading this, you've ignored the other signs so far, so I know you're not my friend." Here, I'm treating you like I imagine an INTP would treat you--you've lost the benefit of the doubt, and I'm now using logic to either detach from you (like a shield) or to unravel you (like a sniper shooting but intentionally missing targets). After maybe one or two more signs like the previous one, there's a sign that reads, "If you've ignored all the other signs, and you're still pursuing this, you've now shown me that you're my enemy." Then an arsenal of missiles appears, a platoon of soldiers, and pretty much everything else I've got. BOOM! Here, I'm essentially acting like I imagine an ESTP would combined with how an ESTJ would.
-----In short, I don't react until it's clear that the person is my enemy--and then I do indeed react. This throws most people for a loop because they expect defenses to be evenly distributed. Mine are all in one place well after the boundary line. I've even had one person say I wasn't being fair because if he knew I was going to react like that he wouldn't have tried to push me around. My advice to him was this, "Next time, read the signs."
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I will do one of two things.
If it's a matter of interpersonal stress (like conflict in the workplace or an argument with someone), my MO is to turn into a doormat. I just bend right on over and let people walk all over me for the sake of avoiding conflict. But if they continue to push (especially if it's about something that matters to me or if they're challenging my INFP "values"), then I go into shadow mode and I become an outright cruel, malignant dictator. I use that special NF ability to pinpoint a person's weakness and I go for the jugular. I can be straight up vindictive, verbally assaulting someone from every angle: personal, professional, physical, you name it. Honestly, I think it tends to shock people more than anything else, but it always gets them to listen to me and do what I have to say. Not that I really feel any better having been so horrible...but that's what happens when you keep pushing my buttons. It's not something I'm proud of, or even realize I'm capable of most of the time, but that's the "unhealthy" demon when it comes out.
If it's more of a personal stress situation (like personal responsibilities I can't handle or feelings I'm having that are overwhelming me) I tend to withdraw. I become really anti-social, don't want to leave my house, don't want to call my friends. I neglect cleaning, don't answer the phone, stop getting my work done, etc. I basically cease to be a functional human being and prefer instead to lie in my bed listening to sad music and wallowing in self-pity while thinking, with the utmost conviction, that no one else could possibly understand the way I feel or feel as deeply as I do. Wow, writing that out makes it seem so pathetic, but it's the sad truth. The worst part about this behavior is that it only gets worse the more I indulge in it. That's when I need a friend to intervene and bring me out of my funk. I haven't figured out how to stop myself in these situations, but I have at least learned to get a close friend on the phone so they can get me out of that bed and back into real life before it's too late!
Anyway, I'd guess that those are two common behavior patterns to look out for in an INFP. If they're under a lot of stress, they're likely to be hypersensitive (and in turn hypercritical or even cold and domineering) for brief and intense moments. They're also very likely to be overwhelmed by their feelings, systematically shut down, and withdraw. These are just some guesses based on my own personal experiences, but I could be wrong. Any other INFP's wanna offer insight?
If it's a matter of interpersonal stress (like conflict in the workplace or an argument with someone), my MO is to turn into a doormat. I just bend right on over and let people walk all over me for the sake of avoiding conflict. But if they continue to push (especially if it's about something that matters to me or if they're challenging my INFP "values"), then I go into shadow mode and I become an outright cruel, malignant dictator. I use that special NF ability to pinpoint a person's weakness and I go for the jugular. I can be straight up vindictive, verbally assaulting someone from every angle: personal, professional, physical, you name it. Honestly, I think it tends to shock people more than anything else, but it always gets them to listen to me and do what I have to say. Not that I really feel any better having been so horrible...but that's what happens when you keep pushing my buttons. It's not something I'm proud of, or even realize I'm capable of most of the time, but that's the "unhealthy" demon when it comes out.
If it's more of a personal stress situation (like personal responsibilities I can't handle or feelings I'm having that are overwhelming me) I tend to withdraw. I become really anti-social, don't want to leave my house, don't want to call my friends. I neglect cleaning, don't answer the phone, stop getting my work done, etc. I basically cease to be a functional human being and prefer instead to lie in my bed listening to sad music and wallowing in self-pity while thinking, with the utmost conviction, that no one else could possibly understand the way I feel or feel as deeply as I do. Wow, writing that out makes it seem so pathetic, but it's the sad truth. The worst part about this behavior is that it only gets worse the more I indulge in it. That's when I need a friend to intervene and bring me out of my funk. I haven't figured out how to stop myself in these situations, but I have at least learned to get a close friend on the phone so they can get me out of that bed and back into real life before it's too late!
Anyway, I'd guess that those are two common behavior patterns to look out for in an INFP. If they're under a lot of stress, they're likely to be hypersensitive (and in turn hypercritical or even cold and domineering) for brief and intense moments. They're also very likely to be overwhelmed by their feelings, systematically shut down, and withdraw. These are just some guesses based on my own personal experiences, but I could be wrong. Any other INFP's wanna offer insight?
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unhealthy ones can't own up to their own feelings. they allow others to control them directly or indirectly this way, ceding control of themselves.
also, unhealthy ones have a sick obsession with mbti stereotypes and generalizations.
unhealthy ones get into an fi-te loop, whereby they attempt to rationalize their own inner feelings of emotional duress, usually anger/bitterness.
those are just three off the top of my head.
also, unhealthy ones have a sick obsession with mbti stereotypes and generalizations.
unhealthy ones get into an fi-te loop, whereby they attempt to rationalize their own inner feelings of emotional duress, usually anger/bitterness.
those are just three off the top of my head.
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I think you could conjure up many types of unhealthy INFP's if you take a closer look at the function Fi and imagine having an excess of it, so much that it overpowers your other functions and so much that it becomes detrimental to others and yourself. Or imagine an Fi-Ne, Fi-Si, Fi-Te loop.
So basically, Fi overdrive or function loops.
So basically, Fi overdrive or function loops.
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Unhealthy for me would be if I started to *lie*... Like changed my type to ENFJ and then went over to the ENFJ forum and answered a bunch of questions as an ENFJ.
Unhealthy for me would be if I started to enjoy *Teh Darkness*, became cynical, depressed, negative, enjoyed violent fantasies, blood-letting and/or the show Dexter.
Unhealthy for me would be if I became an Extrovert.
Unhealthy for me would be if I started to think trolling another type's forum was in any way justified.
Unhealthy for me would be if I adopted the philosophy of "the Ends justify The Means".
Unhealthy for me is if I started to speak for all INFPs by using the words "us" & "we" in my forum responses.
Unhealthy for me would be if I started to enjoy *Teh Darkness*, became cynical, depressed, negative, enjoyed violent fantasies, blood-letting and/or the show Dexter.
Unhealthy for me would be if I became an Extrovert.
Unhealthy for me would be if I started to think trolling another type's forum was in any way justified.
Unhealthy for me would be if I adopted the philosophy of "the Ends justify The Means".
Unhealthy for me is if I started to speak for all INFPs by using the words "us" & "we" in my forum responses.
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If a healthy INFP is the idealist, than the unhealthy one...is the cynic. *cringes*
Or someone who tries too much to be like everyone else.
Or someone who tries too much to be like everyone else.
Jung refers to this in his description here
http://personalitycafe.com/infp-articles/87845-introverted-feeling-type-fi-dom-described-jung.html
http://personalitycafe.com/infp-articles/87845-introverted-feeling-type-fi-dom-described-jung.html
When I'm an "unhealthy INFP", I usually isolate myself from everything, which in itself is toxic because 95% of my life seems to take place in my head, and a lot of that is introspection, so once I cut out the other 5%, all of the negative thoughts and feelings begin to fester and diffuse throughout my mind until I become depressed, angry or both. At this stage, my body usually begins to act out of order and I get worse stomach pains than usual because I have stress bearing down on it on top of my usual stomach problems.
In this state, I begin to go into a Fi-Te loop and endeavor to rationalize my feelings, just as @redballoon described. Again, this is detrimental and things spiral downwards until either an external influence brings me out of my despondent state or I break down for anywhere between a few days or a few weeks, (maybe more) and then I bounce back into my usual behavioral patterns.
That's it in a nutshell. Of course, I'll invariably identify with other posts here and see aspects which I failed to mention that are also relevant to me. =)
In this state, I begin to go into a Fi-Te loop and endeavor to rationalize my feelings, just as @redballoon described. Again, this is detrimental and things spiral downwards until either an external influence brings me out of my despondent state or I break down for anywhere between a few days or a few weeks, (maybe more) and then I bounce back into my usual behavioral patterns.
That's it in a nutshell. Of course, I'll invariably identify with other posts here and see aspects which I failed to mention that are also relevant to me. =)
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For me, unhealthy would probably be something along the lines of either completely isolating myself from everyone or/and becoming extremely cold and inflexible about everything and everyone. Usually I am pretty isolated and am happy about it, but during that phase my thoughts turn very dark and I almost feel like I start enjoying them.
Sometimes when I'm under a lot of stress or feel completely powerless (basically when I feel the lowest) I often get thoughts of wanting to kill people or torture them though I never would... the idea of it makes me happy. But I find it interesting how some people above stated that the unhealthy INFP tries to be like everyone else... for me I completely stop giving a fuck about hurting anyones feelings and get very, very quiet. Become triggered by the smallest things and express anger through cold, harsh responses and sometimes physically hurt others. I think that's what scares me about myself though... after I physically abuse someone I never regret it, because it's never impulsive rather planed and therefor I find it justified.
Thoughhh, when SAD, it's a completely different story.
Sometimes when I'm under a lot of stress or feel completely powerless (basically when I feel the lowest) I often get thoughts of wanting to kill people or torture them though I never would... the idea of it makes me happy. But I find it interesting how some people above stated that the unhealthy INFP tries to be like everyone else... for me I completely stop giving a fuck about hurting anyones feelings and get very, very quiet. Become triggered by the smallest things and express anger through cold, harsh responses and sometimes physically hurt others. I think that's what scares me about myself though... after I physically abuse someone I never regret it, because it's never impulsive rather planed and therefor I find it justified.
Thoughhh, when SAD, it's a completely different story.
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Also. I always thought the Phantom from Phantom of the opera to be an example of an unhealthy INFP... am I wrong on this assumption?
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I can see where the poster is coming from in regards to trying to be like everyone else. If an unhealthy INFP is suffering due to hyper-sensitivity, I would assume he/she would do anything to avoid any percieved slights. The result of this is a person who will do whatever it takes to create harmony. The easiest way to do this is become as agreeable as possible, and to be as aggreable as possible you must "become" whatever person/people you may be around at the time. Essentially an unhealthy INFP could become a walking accord.
I think you said it in the kindliest way possible and I completely agree. i have been going through some confused phase myself, and I think I know that I am trying to be someone I am not! Which is really very unhealthy and a strain on myself. I need some time to sort out this confusion- but true, what you said " walking accord" so true and very very dangerous because unhappy INFPs can be dangerous! (hyperbole- but yeah, dangerous)
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I dunno there's loads of things I do that could seem unhealthy as an INFP - once I came to a friends house and met her family. With her I am confident and almost charismatic because I know her and her presence comforts me, but when confronted in this room of strangers I changed into this introverted, blushing idiot rather quickly.
She confronted me afterwards, and my shyness was apparently mistaken for rudeness - has anyone ever had that?
Also I tend to be RIDICULOUSLY indecisive, I cannot be organise so though I'm branded as 'intelligent' by my school I struggle to clutch on to the lessons content.
When I'm sad or in a bad situation I flap a lot, even over the stupidest things - unlike some I'm not depressed and I'm generally fine, but I get so stressed and panicky! I tend to just flap out over nothing and overthink situations and get frustrated and lock myself in my room, I'd say that is when I get unhealthy.
She confronted me afterwards, and my shyness was apparently mistaken for rudeness - has anyone ever had that?
Also I tend to be RIDICULOUSLY indecisive, I cannot be organise so though I'm branded as 'intelligent' by my school I struggle to clutch on to the lessons content.
When I'm sad or in a bad situation I flap a lot, even over the stupidest things - unlike some I'm not depressed and I'm generally fine, but I get so stressed and panicky! I tend to just flap out over nothing and overthink situations and get frustrated and lock myself in my room, I'd say that is when I get unhealthy.
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