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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I apologize in advance for this huge post.

So I have a female acquaintance who I'm suspecting at this point is an ISFP or ISFJ. I'm have no idea what her dominant function might be, because she wears a mask everywhere she goes, and is very careful about how she acts around certain people. I want to understand how her mind works, so that I won't be so pissed off at her anymore. Before I start, this is not my attempt to slander ISFxs. I have other friends who are ISFx, and we get along fine.

So let me describe a few things about her:

- She's on the artsy side of things, but I feel that she's more focused on quantity than quality when it comes to art. She draws these comic strips for a blog of hers, but tells me that she 'pushes herself to draw at least 8 comics per day'. Her comics usually have no plot or punchline, and are hastily drawn. Sometimes, I get the impression that she only wants to come across as artistic/creative to the public, and works hard to maintain this image.

- She's happily married now, and talks about her husband every chance she gets (not a bad thing at all, but sometimes it gets excessive)

- If I ever show her/talk about any of my writing or art, she shuts up and and makes these disinterested "mmhmm" sounds, and quickly changes the topic. She never really does this with any other topic I bring up.

- She was somewhat athletic in high school, and played on the soccer team. She used to be a huge tomboy (and it's why we became friends in the first place).

- She believes in tradition (a far cry from how she used to be in high school), and has a clear personal definition/ideal of what a perfect marriage is supposed to be like. She had three separate wedding ceremonies (with the dresses and bridesmaids and everything) when she got married, and looked at me with an expression of disbelief when I told her that I'm not interested in planning a wedding ceremony with my current fiancee (It's too damn expensive).

- She lives on Facebook. She's very open about how much she stalks people on there - especially the people she doesn't like or is quite obviously envious of. She never leaves the house much, and spends most of her time on the internet (she's a blogger, after all)

- She seems very organized. She likes planning and doing things beforehand, and generally has some Te action going on, from what I can tell. Her house is a little messy, but otherwise, she's quite organized.

- She's terrible with any kind of criticism. When I talk with her, it's like walking on eggshells. No criticism is objective to her. When someone criticizes her, she immediately unfriends/blocks them on Facebook. She told me that she checks the IP addresses of the people who leave anonymous negative comments on her blog, just to see if it's any of her friends.

- She can be kind and friendly to whomever she cares about/knows is on her side, but you can tell that she keeps everybody at a certain distance. To her, the world is either full of allies or enemies.

- She focuses a lot on looks. If she doesn't like a girl, the first thing she says is, "at least I'm prettier" or "she's not even that cute", etc. Literally all she talks about when she talks about her husband are his looks. She once asked me if it bothered me when people called my fiancee 'unattractive'. I still don't know what to make of that question.


I would go on, but it would be endless. I just can't figure her out for the life of me. If I can find out what type she might be, I might be able to stop disliking being around her so much, and actually understand her for what she is. She's not a terrible person, just kind of unhealthy from what I can tell. I can't tell if she's Fi-dom or Si-dom.

Does anyone on here have any idea what mbti type she might be?
 

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I don't see much Si here, but I don't really use that function and I understand very little about it. A lot of what you say seem to be related to judging, or Feeling, but I am not sure if they are Fi or Fe.

Then I don't relate to most of what you say...hmm, and I don't relate well/a whole lot to what I relate here. And in each of those few bullet points that I somewhat relate to, there's something odd/off about it.

But even within the ISFP group, everyone is different.

Do you think she uses Fe? (Not trying to say that any of these is Fe or not)

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She's very open about how much she stalks people on there - especially the people she doesn't like or is quite obviously envious of.
I don't think this is type related, but it really doesn't make sense to me why anyone would do that. I can understand when it is a person she likes. But on people you dislike?? Why would you waste your time on them? I wouldn't even want to look at someone's Facebook profile if I don't like the person, feeling adverse toward even just clicking into it.

And I wouldn't tell people that I am stalking, lol, and honestly, I don't. It's creepy. If I start to do something like stalking, I will stop myself very soon.
 

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Omg, she sounds very unhealthy! But, yeah..most of the things you mentioned are not really type related, so it´s hard to tell....does she use Fe or Fi?
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
@uncertain @LittleOrange

Thanks, guys!

I'm sorry, there's not much that says anything about mbti in my descriptions... But after a long while of reading up on Fe and Fi, I'm pretty sure she uses Fi. She's very much removed from reality (think it's her form of denial) but also lives in the moment - and enjoys accomplishing goals that she can measure/see/physically touch. I'm guessing therefore that she could also have some Se going on. I first thought she might be ISTJ, but she's too passive aggressive/emotionally sensitive to criticism to be a Thinker. I'm so lost right now.

Also, about the 'stalking' comment... she picks the people she tells these sort of things very carefully. For some reason, she seems to trust me enough to tell me these things (not that I'll blab about it). It's like she's sometimes completely oblivious to the fact that she's being rude and self-absorbed - we used to mutually like each other's company (we were good friends in high school), and therefore thinks she can get away with saying anything around me; no matter how rude or ignorant. If I ever call her out on her bitchiness, she suddenly gets super silent and unresponsive. I don't mind naturally confident narcissists. But her brand of narcissism reeks of insecurity and competitiveness.

It's not that she's close-minded, more like she has these concrete values and beliefs that she adopts from observing what is considered 'desirable' or 'undesirable' by other people around her. Generally, she's open-minded - which hints that she's probably a Perceiver. Also, after further analysis of her behavior, I feel like she probably just has a very developed Te - but it's probably the inferior function.

She's definitely a type 6w7, no doubt whatsoever. She constantly needs a support system - not friends, necessarily, but people who will praise her and tell her she's a special snowflake. Otherwise, she seems to quickly lose interest in her creative endeavors. She's not self-sacrificing enough to be ISFJ: she's looks out for herself (and her image) before anyone else.

She's nothing like my other ISFP friends (who don't seem to care too much about external opinions).


I'm so confused.

*facedesk*
 

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I'm sorry, there's not much that says anything about mbti in my descriptions... But after a long while of reading up on Fe and Fi, I'm pretty sure she uses Fi. She's very much removed from reality (think it's her form of denial) but also lives in the moment - and enjoys accomplishing goals that she can measure/see/physically touch. I'm guessing therefore that she could also have some Se going on. I first thought she might be ISTJ, but she's too passive aggressive/emotionally sensitive to criticism to be a Thinker. I'm so lost right now.
Yeah I thought of F when I saw your writing about her being unable to take criticism. I think she is very unhealthy in that regard. I am more comfortable with criticism now than when I was younger. However, there are one or two people whose criticism I can never take because I dislike/hate them. My natural reaction to their criticism is often hostility/rejection/denial even though they may be right about it.

TJs who use Fi unhealthily might have similar behavior, but I don't know. It's just a guess.

It's not that she's close-minded, more like she has these concrete values and beliefs that she adopts from observing what is considered 'desirable' or 'undesirable' by other people around her.
Hmm... that can indicate Fe, but I am not sure.

Also, after further analysis of her behavior, I feel like she probably just has a very developed Te - but it's probably the inferior function.

She's definitely a type 6w7, no doubt whatsoever. She constantly needs a support system - not friends, necessarily, but people who will praise her and tell her she's a special snowflake. Otherwise, she seems to quickly lose interest in her creative endeavors. She's not self-sacrificing enough to be ISFJ: she's looks out for herself (and her image) before anyone else.
I don't think my Te is very well developed. I mean... I can use it, and I guess I do, but not as much as my other functions.

I just skimmed through the description of 6, which explained a lot. A lot of what you said about her seemed to fit 6 pretty well, and those were the things that I didn't quite identify, as a 5w4. Also, she is married and I am not. I am not even dating.
 

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She sounds more like ISFJ than ISFP, honestly.

Adopting concrete values from observing the environment around her ----> Fe
She looks out for herself and her image -----> Fe


Fi types tend to form their values from internally rather than externally.
Fe types also tend to be very image-conscious and care a lot about how others view them.


I'd say your acquaintance sounds like either ISFJ or ESFJ.
 

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I'm not sure, does sound more ISFJ with the emphasis on tradition etc and being organised.

For some reason ISTJ sprung to mind over ISFJ - they can have a pretty noticeable Fi.

Just noticed you wrote in your second post you also thought ISTJ. IMO ISTJ's can be pretty sensitive too.
 
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