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I was wondering what happens to nines when they have reached the 'unhealthy levels' of the enneagram.

I'm a nine and I feel I am currently on the brink of reaching those unhealthy levels.
I feel my life is going nowhere because of this...

To all the nines or anyone that knows a nine: What experiences/stories have you witnessed with a unhealthy nine? Are there any tips, tricks or advice you can offer to help nines get out of the rut?
 

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When I was low I just got really depressed... The thing for me was that I figured out what kind of person I wanted to be, and then I used that as a compass to guide my actions. I want to be a good son, a good person, a generous person, an example for those around me. I also want to be myself, I want to stay true to my own nature. Therefore, I follow my feelings, there is only one choice, either you improve, or you don't.

Most importantly, maintain harmony by approaching issues. Stay away from restless souls. That is how a healthy nine gets by =) Remember, it is all mental! Well, some of it. Make sure your diet is varied, and expect periods of being 'down', (because of hormones.). And the more you stay calm, the less trouble you'll cause =) for yourself and for others.

Going out with friends helps, as you also get fresh air =)
 

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As a nine with an eight wing, when I get to unhealthy levels, I either shut off and don't feel like doing anything that involves any sort of effort or I feel extremely angry on the inside, especially towards people in general and feel like lashing out. When I'm in shut off mode, I'll just remove myself from whatever's causing that for a little while in order to get my energy back and then I'll tackle it and when I'm in angry mode, I'll often do something like go to kickboxing and punch the bags until my knuckles are bright pink or I'll just give it time to cool over.
 

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I was wondering what happens to nines when they have reached the 'unhealthy levels' of the enneagram.

I'm a nine and I feel I am currently on the brink of reaching those unhealthy levels.
I feel my life is going nowhere because of this...

To all the nines or anyone that knows a nine: What experiences/stories have you witnessed with a unhealthy nine? Are there any tips, tricks or advice you can offer to help nines get out of the rut?
I am feeling the same way. After reading your post, I was like, "This sounds like an INFJ if I've ever heard one." Heh. I feel the same. I think I am currently in transition between phases too.
 

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I was wondering what happens to nines when they have reached the 'unhealthy levels' of the enneagram.

I'm a nine and I feel I am currently on the brink of reaching those unhealthy levels.
I feel my life is going nowhere because of this...

To all the nines or anyone that knows a nine: What experiences/stories have you witnessed with a unhealthy nine? Are there any tips, tricks or advice you can offer to help nines get out of the rut?
I get very lazy, an f it all attitude. I romanticize nothing, which is the epitome of sloth. I also become agitated pretty easy, and become slightly indirectly suicidal. I like to take chances and just see what happens. I like to do things alone, physical exercise mainly, or sometimes just take a stroll at night listening to music. Most of the anger stems from frustration. I want to solve all the problems but, can't and it pisses me off. I feel weak. It's mainly feeling internal conflict, I want to do this, but I know I need to do this, so it frustrates and bothers me. I want to detach, take time solve it and then come back to implement it, but since I can't I just want to detach from everything, everything.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thanks for the posts guys! :happy:

When I was low I just got really depressed... The thing for me was that I figured out what kind of person I wanted to be, and then I used that as a compass to guide my actions. I want to be a good son, a good person, a generous person, an example for those around me. I also want to be myself, I want to stay true to my own nature. Therefore, I follow my feelings, there is only one choice, either you improve, or you don't.

Most importantly, maintain harmony by approaching issues. Stay away from restless souls. That is how a healthy nine gets by =) Remember, it is all mental! Well, some of it. Make sure your diet is varied, and expect periods of being 'down', (because of hormones.). And the more you stay calm, the less trouble you'll cause =) for yourself and for others.

Going out with friends helps, as you also get fresh air =)
Yes, I need to have the right type of people for me. I get quite sensitive around people that I don't feel are right for me. I get afraid that I will adopt their practices and views of life and neglect who I'm supposed to be. I don't have a strong sense of self to combat types like that. I don't want to be influenced.

As a nine with an eight wing, when I get to unhealthy levels, I either shut off and don't feel like doing anything that involves any sort of effort or I feel extremely angry on the inside, especially towards people in general and feel like lashing out. When I'm in shut off mode, I'll just remove myself from whatever's causing that for a little while in order to get my energy back and then I'll tackle it and when I'm in angry mode, I'll often do something like go to kickboxing and punch the bags until my knuckles are bright pink or I'll just give it time to cool over.
I find myself that I don't have much trouble with anger... I guess because I don't have an eight wing :tongue:
When I get stressed, I disengage from everything (physically and emotionally) so I feel quite mellow and numb. But this makes me feel frustrated because it makes me feel so empty and alone...

I get very lazy, an f it all attitude. I romanticize nothing, which is the epitome of sloth. I also become agitated pretty easy, and become slightly indirectly suicidal. I like to take chances and just see what happens. I like to do things alone, physical exercise mainly, or sometimes just take a stroll at night listening to music. Most of the anger stems from frustration. I want to solve all the problems but, can't and it pisses me off. I feel weak. It's mainly feeling internal conflict, I want to do this, but I know I need to do this, so it frustrates and bothers me. I want to detach, take time solve it and then come back to implement it, but since I can't I just want to detach from everything, everything.
I think I'm the same. I struggle with my laziness everyday. I feel that it would be great sometimes if I did not have to have any obligations, responsibilities or anything tying me down. Nothingness sounds sweet. But when I end up doing nothing I feel guilty for not doing anything. This then makes me depressed. I withdraw more..
There are a lot of things in my life that I want to get done, but this has me trapped.

I am feeling the same way. After reading your post, I was like, "This sounds like an INFJ if I've ever heard one." Heh. I feel the same. I think I am currently in transition between phases too.
Thanks, I felt I've never really been sure about my type. But I'm glad to know that I sound like a certain type. INFJ's don't sound all that bad :wink:
 

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I was wondering what happens to nines when they have reached the 'unhealthy levels' of the enneagram.

I'm a nine and I feel I am currently on the brink of reaching those unhealthy levels.
I feel my life is going nowhere because of this...

To all the nines or anyone that knows a nine: What experiences/stories have you witnessed with a unhealthy nine? Are there any tips, tricks or advice you can offer to help nines get out of the rut?

I can completely empathies with you. I spent a good handful of years of my adult life bordering on unhealthy levels of my type 9 and the last couple getting into some real unhealthy stages. Now I have been on a "quest" so to speak to become more balanced and find my "self".

the fact that your recognize that you are feeling "unhealthy" and are interested in becoming healthier, tells me that you have not hit the unhealthy levels yet, but you may be in the lower levels of the "Average" 9. Unhealthy type 9s become severely disoriented and depersonalized that they almost become Paralyzed. They dissociate to a degree that eventually leaves them unable to function. They really need someone else to step in and save them from themselves.

Average 9s are still able to recognize the need for growth on their own.

For my own growth, I have done a lot of self study to really understand my personality type, Had someone who loves me very much support me, and also enlisted the help of a Therapist. It is not an overnight process and has taken a lot of determination. It requires a lot of breaking old thought patterns and habits, and starting new healthier ones. The hardest part is dealing with the anxiety that comes with stepping out of my norm that I have known for so long.

Fully understanding your Meyers Briggs type can be helpful as well. For example: Understanding that I am an INFP and being aware of how the preferences of each function influence my perceptions on the world and in relationships helps me break out of my normal box and start to force myself to grow my non preference functions.

If you’re really serious about growing, I highly recommend the books by Don Richard Riso, and Russ Hudson. I started with "Discovering Your Personality Type" This gave me a good basic understanding of my personality type, The wings, and the directions of Integration and Disintegration. I then Read "Understanding The Enneagram". this book gets much deeper into the types and all the Health levels, and has recommendations for each personality type. The most recent one I picked up is just by Don Richard Riso. This one is Enneagram Transformations. It has Releases and Affirmations for each personality type. It list things that we need to let go of, and healthy things that we need to remember to continue to grow towards a healthy self.

A couple of Recommendations for type 9, from Understanding the Enneagram:


"Exert yourself. Force yourself to pay attention to what is going on. Do not drift off or tune out people, or daydream. Work on focusing your attention to become an active participant in the world around you. Try to become more mentally and emotionally engaged."

"To the degree that they are repressed as individuals, one of the greatest tragedy for Nines is that they may come to the end of their lives and realize that they have never really lived. It's as if their lives have happened to someone else: they haven't really lived them themselves. They may realize (if only faintly) that they were "asleep" most of the time. Do not live like this. Accept your life and learn to feel the magnitude of what it is to be alive. If you give up your presence, you give up much of your life."


Much of what I needed to do was understand that the anxieties of confrontation was mostly in my head. I figured out that by avoiding confrontation, I ultimately created more confrontation, and mostly with the people I cared about most.

I also tried focusing more on the here and now. Focus on what is right in front of you now. Don't idealize the situation or over fantasize.

"Nines must remember that real wholeness and real peace of mind are only possible by embracing the dynamic, changing nature of reality. Nothing stays the same in life, and to try to remain unaffected by the powerful changes around us is to remain in a kind of living death. In a sense, the Nine is like someone standing on the edge of a pool, sticking a toe in the water to see if he or she can take the plunge. Of course, the pool is life, and Nines are actually trying to find the courage to commit themselves to being here fully. When they do, they find the serenity and inner peace they have been seeking" (Understandin the Enneagram, Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson)
 

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I usually go with it. Allow myself to be angry, be a sloth, go for a drive and scream to metal groove, write about it, stare at the wall, turn off the phone, cut out all forms of communication, have a long bath, think of means to eradicate the untenable factors from the situation, approach it like it is a logic puzzle, plot out the multiple ways in which the ending will go, see the sense, get bored, get over it.

I just see it all as transitory. It passes quicker with logic and practice for me.
 

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I wanted to write like two paragraphs on the subject, but then I thought to myself, it's all fake, like, all of my thoughts are really somebody else's thoughts, something I read somewhere, something I made myself believe, picked up from my parents or whatever.

I mean, I don't even know what it means to be unhealthy or healthy (and yes, I've read a lot about it, the levels of development etc.). There are days when I feel good, confident, when I'm making plans for the future, and then, there are days when I feel that nothing really matters, and it' s ok. Whatever I do, or think or feel, it doesn't matter, it really won't matter in a few decades.

The expressions they use for nines, like wasted life, regrets, blah..So what? That will pass too, everything's transitory.

That being said, I don't even know if I qualify as a nine, since I have issues of all nine types.

Anyway, when I'm supposedly unhealthy, I drink, watch tv, talk stupid shit about other people that makes me feel guilty afterwards, listening to music, get really obsessed about some show and the characters in it, anything to get my mind of the fact that I am a no-good lazy, unlovable, piece of crap . Oh well....
 

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Hey I'm a INFJ 9 too :) most INFJs are 4s, so pleased to meet more of my combo!
A few years ago I got really depressed, and became completely non-functional. I would wag school and just sleep, I think on more than one occasion I hid in the closet all day so I wouldn't get sent to school (so embarrassing). I had friends but felt like I couldn't face them.

For a 9/INFJ chances are you have heaps of friends, probably all of whom really think you're great. I'm guessing not many close friends though? And if you're feeling down you probably feel like you have no 'real' friends?
I would thoroughly recommend asking a couple of friends for help (more than one to avoid putting all the weight on one persons shoulders). Telling them that you have a tendency to withdraw when you're feeling down but need to go out.

I managed to come out of depression on my own, but I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
 

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Express yourself - in writing or art or something. Chances are if you're that depressed you won't feel that you have anything of importance to express. That doesn't matter. Just free write or doodle or something, bypassing your conscious mind. You'll likely find that your unconscious mind will alert you to the issues that you got depressed about, and most likely will have an answer for them as well, and even if not, getting things off your chest should be a good feeling.
 

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I was wondering what happens to nines when they have reached the 'unhealthy levels' of the enneagram.

I'm a nine and I feel I am currently on the brink of reaching those unhealthy levels.
I feel my life is going nowhere because of this...

To all the nines or anyone that knows a nine: What experiences/stories have you witnessed with a unhealthy nine? Are there any tips, tricks or advice you can offer to help nines get out of the rut?
I am a 9 and have been a very unhealthy one for years without even realizing it until recently. I think it may be easy for this type to not see what they are doing wrong and not know why they feel stuck, hopeless, and aimless. We may blame others or things for our inaction but usually the only one to blame is our own self.

In my case, I focused way to much on how I wished/fantasized things to be and how I fantasized I was to the point where I didn't even consider the way things REALLY WERE. I had this false image of myself that became my reality/all that I could see and I was not being honest with myself. I deluded myself into thinking it was my circumstances prevented me from being this fantasized version of myself and that it was the reason behind my feelings of having no purpose or direction. In reality, I wasn't expending near enough energy into whatever I was doing and I wasn't REALLY doing anything for myself or others. If I did, it was reluctantly. This has harmed relationships that I hold very dear.
To turn this around, I have to exert myself, put real energy into everything that I do, stay grounded by not dreaming my life away and being in the moment and emotionally invested in the present moment.
https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/personal-growth-recommendation-for-enneagram-type-nines/
 

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In my experience, it's blocking off reality as much as possible. I completely ignored anything that didn't mesh well with my current state of mind and beliefs. It was like I was just going along with whatever without actually reflecting inward or evaluating stuff in my life or my own behavior.
 

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the fact that your recognize that you are feeling "unhealthy" and are interested in becoming healthier, tells me that you have not hit the unhealthy levels yet, but you may be in the lower levels of the "Average" 9. Unhealthy type 9s become severely disoriented and depersonalized that they almost become Paralyzed. They dissociate to a degree that eventually leaves them unable to function. They really need someone else to step in and save them from themselves.

Average 9s are still able to recognize the need for growth on their own.
This helped me out to read right now, too. I've been in the genuinely unhealthy pits of 9ness before, and it scares me to think of slipping back. I'm struggling with my chronic depression issues at the moment, but it's a relief to see that being currently in an unhealthy mental/emotional state is not the same as being stuck at an unhealthy level of BEING-- there's HOPE!

Which doesn't mean I don't frequently feel hopeless. As someone else said above-- I didn't reply-with-quote so I forget who now, sorry-- I get so that I don't feel I have anything worth contributing to the world, so while part of me knows I can fix things by making time, Just Doing, etc, this other part's like "WHY? What's the point? I have nothing to give," so I can't convince myself to make the effort to improve. Frustrating, sad, irrational, but that's what depression's like. It's not easy to get over.
 
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