I don't understand this. Do you guys really think you should have everything you want? I think it's a good thing for me when a love is unrequited. Something has to stop me every now and then. And they in turn, get to remain on their pedestal.Unrequited love is a challenge!
But yeah, it's not the greatest.
Unrequited love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such, even though reciprocation is usually deeply desired. The beloved may or may not be aware of the admirer's deep affections.
Hah, well, from my viewpoint you should just want nothing in the first place. :mellow:I don't understand this. Do you guys really think you should have everything you want?
Yes, this is exactly what I'm talking about for me. It's much better from a far. When they reciprocate, over and over it's crash and burn. I get annoyed too fast. It was too much at once and then it's over before I know it.i don't even bother trying anything once it reaches that stage, if i like her a ridiculous amount despite not even knowing her very well i just give up on it as a lost cause.. i've even had it where they'll reciprocate and even then i just get overwhelmed by my infatuation and freeze.
it's definitely the ENFP in me though i think, that vivid imagination and the fact that it's such a "what if" situation stirs such a strong reaction..
i thought i got over this when i grew up, but it happened again last year with a girl at college so i guess not..:frustrating:
Actually, I think mine is really healthy. In many ways. It gets me close to nunnery. But instead of being married to God, my heart is devoted to some other fantastical creature. I should wear a ring and a habit.I mean, yeah, it was also totally unhealthy, but that didn't occur to me at the time. :wink:
Oh. Sorry guys. Never mind. :blushed:Pink -- I would call that like a megacrush or something... not quite unrequited love?
There was a really great thread on "elaborate fantasies" in the NF forum, and I think that's kind of what this is about. And for me it doesn't even have to be a *real* person. Heck, it's easier to make up an imaginary prince charming (or Mr. Darcy.....:wink who's perfect, since real people aren't perfect and there are going to be things that will piss us off and frustrate us.To me if you truly love someone -- truly connect with them -- I believe they feel the other side of that connection. That means, if you REALLY see them for who they are, and care about them deeply for who they are -- I believe that tells you that you can do something wonderful for them. Edit: I think both people will sense what's possible. The "requited" part is whether or not both people decide to ACT on what's possible, to realize it.
But if it's more romanticized -- when us ENFPs' brains are exploring possibilities, thinking about what we truly want, and projecting that on a person -- that's more like a crush. There may be intense pining but it's not as much based on our understanding of the other person, as aggrandizing specific qualities we see that We Think are Something A Lot Like What We Want.