I've read about INFJ's who have a hard time leaving bad relationships, but also have high expectations of others that may be impossible to reach.
I'm in a situation where I'm not sure of what I should do.
I've been in a relationships with an E/INFP for one year now. He has broke it off with me 3 - 4 times now, the longest period was 2 months when I went on vacation and this caused me great sadness & distress and this was also my first relationship.
He hasn't been very mature during our breakups. The last time that he broke up with me was 5 - 6 weeks ago and didn't even have the guts to even tell me what was going on as I had just finished an exam at school and went to his house straight after, only for his brother to tell me he wasn't home until finally he told me that he was inside, but didn't want to see me...
So I guess I'm trying to say is that these breakups and all this immaturity has stuck with me and also caused me great stress also.
Previously before being with him, I was quite content with being alone, didn't have any friends, never socialized, yet I learnt to accept it.
So, this has nothing to do with how I can make this relationship work, how I can please him, as I have asked/ mentioned previously, but now I am worried about myself.
I can not seem to separate whether this is right or not because this is the second time that the relationship has set me back from studying as my mind ended up in a mess. My heart tells me one thing but my head is telling me another. Since he broke up with me I have never felt secure, in fact I always feel 'used'.
Up until a week and a half ago, we were 'seeing' each other yet we weren't officially 'dating'. I got sick of doing this so I told him it was over and that I didn't like these games. It was so hard for me to even get the words out and when I built up the courage to actually say it, he looked me straight in the eye, as if he were about to cry and told me that he had been a real jerk and that from now on I would be his priority and he would try to make this work, that he deserves to be picked on by me when he's an asshole and that he would treat me better, etc.
This is probably all over the place but I am quite worried about myself because before getting into a relationship, I never felt nervous or anxious, but after the first breakup, I am always on and off nervous, automatically jumping to conclusions when he wants his space or if I don't hear from him. I automatically relate this as him breaking up with me and then I go back to being the way I was when he did it the first time.
I am worried that if I stay with him, I'm going to end up going on a long roller coaster ride and he's going to pull me into a black hole.
I keep seeing positives in things and I see that he has been trying since he said he would make it work.
God, I don't know where this post is going but what I wanted to ask is:
What are your experiences being with an E/INFP or others in general.
He always comes up as an E/INFP but also came up as an istj a few weeks back. He says that he never over thinks like me, nothing really bothers him and by knowing him for sometime, he's actually always happy and I believe him when he says that he is always happy.
Are you ever satisfied in a relationship or is it just me that is constantly trying to find something which I wish he could improve on?
I can't seem to figure out whether it's me with the unrealistic 'fairytale' needs or whether it's him that isn't for me.
What are your experiences?
Any advice/ stories would be appreciated
I'm in a situation where I'm not sure of what I should do.
I've been in a relationships with an E/INFP for one year now. He has broke it off with me 3 - 4 times now, the longest period was 2 months when I went on vacation and this caused me great sadness & distress and this was also my first relationship.
He hasn't been very mature during our breakups. The last time that he broke up with me was 5 - 6 weeks ago and didn't even have the guts to even tell me what was going on as I had just finished an exam at school and went to his house straight after, only for his brother to tell me he wasn't home until finally he told me that he was inside, but didn't want to see me...
So I guess I'm trying to say is that these breakups and all this immaturity has stuck with me and also caused me great stress also.
Previously before being with him, I was quite content with being alone, didn't have any friends, never socialized, yet I learnt to accept it.
So, this has nothing to do with how I can make this relationship work, how I can please him, as I have asked/ mentioned previously, but now I am worried about myself.
I can not seem to separate whether this is right or not because this is the second time that the relationship has set me back from studying as my mind ended up in a mess. My heart tells me one thing but my head is telling me another. Since he broke up with me I have never felt secure, in fact I always feel 'used'.
Up until a week and a half ago, we were 'seeing' each other yet we weren't officially 'dating'. I got sick of doing this so I told him it was over and that I didn't like these games. It was so hard for me to even get the words out and when I built up the courage to actually say it, he looked me straight in the eye, as if he were about to cry and told me that he had been a real jerk and that from now on I would be his priority and he would try to make this work, that he deserves to be picked on by me when he's an asshole and that he would treat me better, etc.
This is probably all over the place but I am quite worried about myself because before getting into a relationship, I never felt nervous or anxious, but after the first breakup, I am always on and off nervous, automatically jumping to conclusions when he wants his space or if I don't hear from him. I automatically relate this as him breaking up with me and then I go back to being the way I was when he did it the first time.
I am worried that if I stay with him, I'm going to end up going on a long roller coaster ride and he's going to pull me into a black hole.
I keep seeing positives in things and I see that he has been trying since he said he would make it work.
God, I don't know where this post is going but what I wanted to ask is:
What are your experiences being with an E/INFP or others in general.
He always comes up as an E/INFP but also came up as an istj a few weeks back. He says that he never over thinks like me, nothing really bothers him and by knowing him for sometime, he's actually always happy and I believe him when he says that he is always happy.
Are you ever satisfied in a relationship or is it just me that is constantly trying to find something which I wish he could improve on?
I can't seem to figure out whether it's me with the unrealistic 'fairytale' needs or whether it's him that isn't for me.
What are your experiences?
Any advice/ stories would be appreciated