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I have a friend who used to have deep, idea rich, one-to-one conversations with me. She has taken the Myers Briggs test, and from personal experience, she is a typical INFJ. My problem is, she tends to withdraw from me for no apparent reason, is very unpredictable, and often changes her attitude. I'm always trying to figure her out, but every time I do, I end up offending her, or getting into an argument.

Our friendship is nowhere near as strong as it used to be but it's rare for me to be so enthusiastic about a discussion, or empathetic about a person. Usually I wouldn't care, but this time I don't want to give up. How do I deal with this "inconsistency"? I think I've offended her in the past, but she always appears to have forgiven. How do you regain the trust of an INFJ, so things aren't so sensitive? Talking about problems usually makes them worse. Anybody with these types or experience: advice?
 

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From experience (I'm an INFJ) we all withdraw, some more than others. It's way to recharge one's batteries so to speak as most things are draining. As for the puzzling part, my best friend says there's no understanding INFJ, one must just enjoy the company. My suggestion would be just to talk to her about how you feel and what not, it's a deep and awkward conversation. Avoiding it won't help.

Hope that helps a little.
 

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From experience (I'm an INFJ) we all withdraw, some more than others. It's way to recharge one's batteries so to speak
I agree. I think it's because we process Introverted Intuition ahead of Extraverted Feeling - so sometimes we have to give ourselves rest and psychological space.

My interactions with my INTJ friend (who is female and just a friend) seem to be pretty well in synch on it. She's a busy person but seems to have a knack for knowing just how often to check in on me, send me a funny email or leave me be for a while.

This doesn't mean it will work the same for everybody because we are all individuals.
 
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