Hi guys,
I need your help. I like your suggestion on what you think...and the possibilities on keeping my rotten relationship with the ISTJ boyfriend.
I've been having over 2 year relationship with the super strong ISTJ man. He's only 1 year older than me and I'm 29. (Ye, none of us is mature.)
Well, I have to say that I'm also a very strong ESFP as well. Without being boasting, I was a real flirty independent and confident party girl who actually changed guys nightly and never think about settling down until I met him.
Since that first day...my big headache ongoing crying scene started from that day. uncountable ugly big fights and time off have happened soo many times that I feel like there's not much to go back to, but both of our stubborness. The 20% of our good times were the best and made me feel happy the most!
I saw on many posts mentioned that the relationship between ESFP and ISTJ can work out if both are mature.
well, What does it mean by being mature??
What do I have to do to be more mature??
Which skill do i have to improve??
We literally can tear each other into pieces over any arguement and over any little ridiculious things.
We are sooo different and stupidly proud of our strong personality.
My playful and flirty lines got my boyfriend incredibly cross and finds it hard to trust me...
His ignorance on the phone and etc. hurt me right deep in my heart.
His cold reaction towards my tears is also painfully unbearable...
I never got his sympathy from my tears...in an argument...he would go on and on pushing me to the edge about his points, repeated endlessly. No sorry can stop him...I said it about a thousand times and he still on and on asking for it and told me that I hadn't given it to him. On our last fight, I said sorry so many times and it couldn't stop him, until I ended up slapped my own face to let him know that I was sorry.
Guess what he did...he asked me to leave...and still didn't stop complaining.
You guys might wonder what's the argument was about...
it's about me going to surprise him and wake him up at 2 am on Sunday night because it's the time that I got home from a family business.
So, everytime that we had an arguement, I just wanted to run away...or threat him that I would leave him...(well at that point, I really thought so.)
and the method that he used to not let me go was to force me to do things to hurt my pride and my selfesteem, eg. go down on my knees and beg him...or return the money that I paid for my dinner and things, etc.
With the look of my careless lifestyle with money, he's worried so much that I would spend the money that he's been saving to build up his family...and I got to be looked down as if I'm a dependent woman. That's unbearable!!!
Actually, I have been taking care of myself since university and paid for guys...everyone knows that about me. With him, I'm not sure why after this 2 years, he still worries about that with me. I always share things and offer to pay. I made him lots of surprise and bought lots of expensive gift for him.
I'm super generous with money!! If i can pay for hotels for some random guys i picked up from a nightclub. Why should I still have that problem that he's still worried??
how can I fix his thought?? I feel like sometimes he just doesn't look at the reality and judge things from his head. That's sooo unfair!!
sorry for my long complaints, but it would be nice to get your guys suggestions.
No matter how much I want to leave this relationship and I know that I'll be just fine without him, but the love for him also makes me want to keep it...so bad that I would do anything for it!!
Can we actually work it out??
What can I do to keep this relationship and make it even better??
I need your help. I like your suggestion on what you think...and the possibilities on keeping my rotten relationship with the ISTJ boyfriend.
I've been having over 2 year relationship with the super strong ISTJ man. He's only 1 year older than me and I'm 29. (Ye, none of us is mature.)
Well, I have to say that I'm also a very strong ESFP as well. Without being boasting, I was a real flirty independent and confident party girl who actually changed guys nightly and never think about settling down until I met him.
Since that first day...my big headache ongoing crying scene started from that day. uncountable ugly big fights and time off have happened soo many times that I feel like there's not much to go back to, but both of our stubborness. The 20% of our good times were the best and made me feel happy the most!
I saw on many posts mentioned that the relationship between ESFP and ISTJ can work out if both are mature.
well, What does it mean by being mature??
What do I have to do to be more mature??
Which skill do i have to improve??
We literally can tear each other into pieces over any arguement and over any little ridiculious things.
We are sooo different and stupidly proud of our strong personality.
My playful and flirty lines got my boyfriend incredibly cross and finds it hard to trust me...
His ignorance on the phone and etc. hurt me right deep in my heart.
His cold reaction towards my tears is also painfully unbearable...
I never got his sympathy from my tears...in an argument...he would go on and on pushing me to the edge about his points, repeated endlessly. No sorry can stop him...I said it about a thousand times and he still on and on asking for it and told me that I hadn't given it to him. On our last fight, I said sorry so many times and it couldn't stop him, until I ended up slapped my own face to let him know that I was sorry.
Guess what he did...he asked me to leave...and still didn't stop complaining.
You guys might wonder what's the argument was about...
it's about me going to surprise him and wake him up at 2 am on Sunday night because it's the time that I got home from a family business.
So, everytime that we had an arguement, I just wanted to run away...or threat him that I would leave him...(well at that point, I really thought so.)
and the method that he used to not let me go was to force me to do things to hurt my pride and my selfesteem, eg. go down on my knees and beg him...or return the money that I paid for my dinner and things, etc.
With the look of my careless lifestyle with money, he's worried so much that I would spend the money that he's been saving to build up his family...and I got to be looked down as if I'm a dependent woman. That's unbearable!!!
Actually, I have been taking care of myself since university and paid for guys...everyone knows that about me. With him, I'm not sure why after this 2 years, he still worries about that with me. I always share things and offer to pay. I made him lots of surprise and bought lots of expensive gift for him.
I'm super generous with money!! If i can pay for hotels for some random guys i picked up from a nightclub. Why should I still have that problem that he's still worried??
how can I fix his thought?? I feel like sometimes he just doesn't look at the reality and judge things from his head. That's sooo unfair!!
sorry for my long complaints, but it would be nice to get your guys suggestions.
No matter how much I want to leave this relationship and I know that I'll be just fine without him, but the love for him also makes me want to keep it...so bad that I would do anything for it!!
Can we actually work it out??
What can I do to keep this relationship and make it even better??