Does she do porn?

feeling vulnerable.....i don't know what that means. i don't know how to thrive off a feeling that i'm unfamiliar with. but it just sounds like i'm leaving myself open to get hurt....i do that with my gf but that's about it....i don't let previous experiences block me from growing and learning.

jinamuro said:

What's your take on feeling vulnerable? Some people absolutely despise it, while others thrive off of the feeling. Why is that?

Click to expand...

It scares me to feel so vulnerable with someone,its hard for me to open up and really show myself.
vulnerabilty is something i've always been scared off. I don't know....

About 3-4 people truly know me.And even then, they will never know everything about me.

How's that for fear of vulnerability?

I hate it because of the power it gives to whoever you are opening up to.

Hmmm. Maybe I'm crazy, but I like the feeling. Not only does trusting someone that much feel great, but for some reason, I seem to enjoy the pain that might come along with it, as well. I'm makes me feel alive, I guess. Such a raw, emotional feeling. It's a beautiful thing.

No one else feels this way?

The problem is you open the door up for yourself getting hurt by being vulnerable. The only downside, really. Think of it, you open up to someone and be vulnerable and then they leave you, how much more would this hurt you?

You misread what I said.

LookingGlass said:

The problem is you open the door up for yourself getting hurt by being vulnerable. The only downside, really. Think of it, you open up to someone and be vulnerable and then they leave you, how much more would this hurt you?

Click to expand...

I am like that at some point.I mean I don't like opening up to other people but the pain that comes with that feeling does make me feel alive.As the song goes 'I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all' .And in fact sometimes I do feel nothing and that drives me crazy because somehow it's like I am empty on the inside and emptiness is is even more frightening than vulnerability,at least for me.

jinamuro said:

Hmmm. Maybe I'm crazy, but I like the feeling. Not only does trusting someone that much feel great, but for some reason, I seem to enjoy the pain that might come along with it, as well. I'm makes me feel alive, I guess. Such a raw, emotional feeling. It's a beautiful thing.

No one else feels this way?

Click to expand...

Being vulnerable with someone makes feel kind of nauseous. I get afraid of what people would think of me, but yet when in that open of a state I can't help but make it longer then it has to be with talking about feelings and everything. But sometimes it's good because you are reassured or feel good afterwards.

I dislike being vulnerable. It's difficult and uncomfortable for me. I'm a very open, on the surface person. Vulnerability seems to me to be exposing the deeper, hidden parts of yourself but to be honest I don't have a lot of that. Making myself vulnerable is like forcing myself deeper than I naturally go to pull out emotions and motivations that I don't even trust to be authentic because I know they don't come from my natural/comfortable state of just being.

Vulnerability to me is defined partially as a soft spot that lets something or someone in. A weakness. In no way does being vulnerable make me feel like I'm thriving. Maybe the real answer is hidden in our definition of being weak. Perhaps some see being vulnerable as a strong trait. As in - you must be strong in order to allow yourself be vulnerable and not shy away from the possibility you could get hurt.

I don't like it because it makes me feel like someone has control over me. But I have to admit I frequently play episodes of me in a vulnerable situations in my head. I don't know why - I think that allowing yourself to be vulnerable really gives you a bigger feeling of being alive (because this is what feelings do) but I just hate to experience it in real life, because it hurts.

The way I see it, you're not going to get much out of life if you don't allow yourself to be vulnerable. It's one of those things that makes us human. I think it's one of the reasons you "emotionless robots" are not genuinely happy with your lives. You're just trying to be something you're not. If you want to be happy, then stop denying your humanity. Everybody feels pain. The only difference is, some allow the pain to help them grow and be better at dealing with it, while others run away from it and ultimately get nowhere. Pain is not a bad thing. It is not something we're not suppose to feel. Love is not suppose to hurt? Bull shit. Love can and will hurt, always. The only way you can deal with that is to not let it bring you down. Face the pain. Stand up to it. You are better than the pain. Be strong. Yeah, it's hard at first, but it gets easier the more you experience it.

And now the ultimate question: why? Love is supposed to make you feel good. If something hurts you, it means that you are not doing that thing right. Like with physical pain. If your stomach or head or leg hurts, this body part is trying to tell you something is wrong. So avoiding pain is avoiding something that is not good for you.

Love should make you feel good. People should be good to each other and not hurt each other. People should be smart. Everyone should have common sense.

See what I did there? There are a whole lot of "shoulds" in this world, but too bad that people don't exactly "do what they should be doing". And we don't feel like we should. Meaning, yeah, love shouldn't hurt because when you truly love someone, you'll never wanna hurt them, blah blah blah. I'm not being a cynic here because I love being happy and optimistic, but reality is that: "life is disappointing". You can fix love when it hurts, but you'll never realize just how good it feels when it's going "right" if you've never felt how "wrong" it can be. Think about that for a minute.

Darner said:

And now the ultimate question: why? Love is supposed to make you feel good. If something hurts you, it means that you are not doing that thing right. Like with physical pain. If your stomach or head or leg hurts, this body part is trying to tell you something is wrong. So avoiding pain is avoiding something that is not good for you.

Click to expand...

Love should make you feel good. People should be good to each other and not hurt each other. People should be smart. Everyone should have common sense.

See what I did there? There are a whole lot of "shoulds" in this world, but too bad that people don't exactly "do what they should be doing". And we don't feel like we should. Meaning, yeah, love shouldn't hurt because when you truly love someone, you'll never wanna hurt them, blah blah blah. I'm not being a cynic here because I love being happy and optimistic, but reality is that: "life is disappointing". You can fix love when it hurts, but you'll never realize just how good it feels when it's going "right" if you've never felt how "wrong" it can be. Think about that for a minute.

That is Jinamuro's thesis and the basis of this thread.

Darner said:

And now the ultimate question: why? Love is supposed to make you feel good. If something hurts you, it means that you are not doing that thing right. Like with physical pain. If your stomach or head or leg hurts, this body part is trying to tell you something is wrong. So avoiding pain is avoiding something that is not good for you.

Click to expand...

I somehow got the idea it was wrong to seem vulnerable, but I also have a deep desire to be protected and I will find myself manipulating people into protecting me. :sad:

What kind of vulnerability are you talking about? Emotional? Yeah...I'm not good with that. I never really cry in front of people. I make a great effort to do it alone. I can't even express affection with the people I genuinely care about very easily. And for most people, it seems like that would stem from a fear of rejection or negative judgment, but that's not my problem. Generally, I think I fear peoples' reactions and expressing emotions makes me uneasy. Sometimes just doing charitable deeds makes me feel vulnerable only because peoples' reactions toward these kinds of things typically make me extremely awkward. In fact, I tend to go through life purposely staving off peoples' emotional reactions because I do not know how to react to them :mellow:

Don't worry, that's not my idea of love That is actually why I'm not sure if I believe in love, but as I imagine love is like a great friendship where you never get into serious fights - it's fun. So, if it's not fun, why even bother with it?

Cindjor said:

Meaning, yeah, love shouldn't hurt because when you truly love someone, you'll never wanna hurt them, blah blah blah.

Click to expand...

Cindjor said:

You can fix love when it hurts, but you'll never realize just how good it feels when it's going "right" if you've never felt how "wrong" it can be. Think about that for a minute.

Click to expand...

With this I agree, you're right. If you don't know the worst, you cannot appreciate the best.
But I've met a lot of people that have huge mood swings, because they feel everything too much - like, when it hurts them, they're crying and screaming, when it becomes good, they're jumping and screaming. I'm not sure that's good for their psyche, because it can lead to sicknesses.