Narcissists...Hello INFJs of the interwebs,
I got emotionally abused by a covert narcissist for two years, I was codependent with her and she was my best friend. After weeks of guilt inducing I ended the relationship to her. First I was so proud and felt so liberated and full of energy.
Now I just saw how often I got used for my empathy and I recognized inner wounds that stem from childhood (maybe even trauma). I got into people pleasing behavior because I was so scared of being alone. I put up many personas just to please people and get the attention my ego so desperately craved.
Now I'm on like a mission to tell people how I truly am, if they are dissapointed by that they must leave. I have to grow boundaries and get the authentic self I am destined to be.
What I want to say is, it's a little scary to see so many things falling apart. I know there are a lot people out there my age feeling the same or that went through the same.
I am not really good at articulating my inner world but I did the best I could. Sorry if it seems a little fuzzy.
What were your experiences with that? How did you got through that? Any tips?
Edit: INFJ age 24 m (if that's imortant)
If the question is how do you deal with Narcissists:
You're always going to be stuck with them at some stages of your life - so whilst always the best option is to cut them out (because there's no sort of interaction they do which isn't designed to drain energy or pull back so as to just allow your good nature to give them an opportunity later to do the same):
I have found depending on the narcissist there's a series of ways you can actually tie them down to their own double binds if you can force them to suffer the consequences of them in a way which avoids them shunting the reasons for it onto a subject which isn't directly tied to a crucial excuse they offer themselves or story they tell themselves - however it's so much effort the best way is still to avoid them.
If the question is how you get that authentic self:
What gives you energy which still aligns with how you aspire to actually be?