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I've newly discovered Eneagram and I would bet money that my MIL is a 2. She is extremely giving and loves to serve. She is really sweet and accepting/loving of all family members and really people in general. When I got engaged to my DH she even had a long conversation with me about how I could basically be a terrible person and she'd still love and accept me because I was becoming family. As a 1, this was uncomfortable for me to hear and actually really weirded me out.

As sweet as she is, I've never really felt comfortable receiving gifts from her, because they are always huge and I've always felt that there were strings attached, and that's how she would get people to love her. I don't know why I'm so uncomfortable with that but I can guess it's because I feel manipulated in a way and I would love her without a big gift. I don't think she is trying to be manipulating, but I feel like she wants us to owe her emotionally. Like deep down. I'm not sure if she realizes it and I'm not sure if I'm reading too much into this anyway.

Here's the part where I need advice. About a year ago she gave my DH and I a huge huge gift. I told DH I was extremely uncomfortable accepting but he insisted it wasn't a gift. Basically we went in on something together so he insisted it wasn't a gift but her having part ownership with us. I still didn't want it but let him decide. Talking to her afterwards, it didn't come across as her wanting ownership but did feel like a gift. Here's the thing. I'm not thankful, at all. I've never said thank you and I know how important that is to 2's, being appreciated. But I hate that we accepted something so huge and I wish we never had. I'm actually resentful because now I feel manipulated and like we'll always "owe" her. I think she really was wanting to just love on us though. Is it terrible that I don't have gratitude? Would you be really upset with me as a 2? Should I just try really hard to appreciate it even though I'm very uncomfortable with it, so I can honestly say thank you?
 
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