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This isn't a post on what it means to be in love.

But am I the only one who, with each new relationship, gives THEMSELVES a cupid arrow in the ass instead of letting life give one TO them? I'm so obsessed with the idea of being in love that I'll throw myself into a relationship, visioning that it's that over-the-top infatuation that you only truly get with very few people. This works to my advantage, but only for a limited amount of time, because then when the emotions of the relationship start to come to equilibrium, my partner and I will both sense a drastic drop in enthusiasm, because I essentially FAKE how much I like the person at the beginning. Isn't that fucked up?

Well, if you wanna look at it in a positive way, I honestly do see the potential in everyone, and love making connections to people. But once I've dug deep enough through someone's personality, and reaped all the benefit I could have out of the connection, the spark dies hard and fast. Thoughts / ideas?
 

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if you think i'm going to admit to such a thing on a public forum you are crazy.
 

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I don't see anything wrong with it, really. As long as the reason you inject love into new relationships isn't because you depend on them for your personal happiness. I think seeing possibilities in everyone is rather enlightened and could be quite beneficial. It's certainly better than a "grass is greener" attitude.
 

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Maybe in highschool, for my first couple relationships.

Nowadays it's hard to feel anything. I can be caring, intimate, and so on, but I haven't found anyone I've felt like I loved, and I'm certainly not about to try to force those feelings.
 

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I don't do this.

I mean it when I say I don't do this.

I have only felt this way a few times in my life.

2 were long term relationships & the other was a rejection (I was the rejected).

I might get excited of someone initially. But I am very unlikely to fall for someone in quantity.

I honestly never get why so many people wanna be in love rather then actually be in love. Like how your saying.

No pun. I just really don't get it.

I just think to myself that I don't wanna waste my own or someone else's time, its either there or its not.
 

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You seem to have a lot of enthusiasm.

Maybe I am not reading what you are writing correctly, but I think new relationship energy is really powerful. You have all the best thoughts about what could potentially happen with the person and after a few months reality sets in and you have figured out their flaws and most people are going to be infinitely less glamorous.

However, when you meet the right people, the spark just changes, but it is still there. That's what you need. You don't want to flame to be obliterated, sure it might die down a little, but all you need is some more kindling, wood or some other accelerant. You do have to maintain the fire so it doesn't die out.

Just don't do anything too crazy, like gasoline.

Crud...now I feel like building a campfire.
 

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This isn't a post on what it means to be in love.

But am I the only one who, with each new relationship, gives THEMSELVES a cupid arrow in the ass instead of letting life give one TO them? I'm so obsessed with the idea of being in love that I'll throw myself into a relationship, visioning that it's that over-the-top infatuation that you only truly get with very few people. This works to my advantage, but only for a limited amount of time, because then when the emotions of the relationship start to come to equilibrium, my partner and I will both sense a drastic drop in enthusiasm, because I essentially FAKE how much I like the person at the beginning. Isn't that fucked up?

Well, if you wanna look at it in a positive way, I honestly do see the potential in everyone, and love making connections to people. But once I've dug deep enough through someone's personality, and reaped all the benefit I could have out of the connection, the spark dies hard and fast. Thoughts / ideas?
I know exactly what you are talking about shoving that cupid's arrow up your own ass.

I am intrigued by the soulmate-concept, specifically the one talking about karmic soulmates who were ment to meet only for a time - to learn from each other - only to continue the journey afterward as stronger individuals.

From my perspective, most people get lost in relationships that are supposed to be karmic and believe that they somehow "failed" when all juice got reaped and the relationship ceased to be mutually beneficial.

This realization has made me pondering to start all my FWB-relationships as potential karmic relationships based on mutual respect, empathy, and curiosity to learn from each other: knowing we will probably part, but that we will be stronger when we do.

If we don't, well then: Hurrah!

But I really think it's a categorical error by basically everyone to forget about the karmic soulmate and only focus on the "twin flame" kind (the one that should be the basis for "marriage").


Am I on to some of your thoughts?
 
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