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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
...and couldn't say "No" to my boss. I hate being put into this position! 2 people at work got into a heated argument & everyone else was on break so only I was there. The boss was off so next day he brings me into a room to ask me in detail everything that was said. He had to drag it out of me & I was extremely uncomfortable. :angry: I should have refused! I regret telling the truth now. I told him right off the bat I didn't want to talk about it because they'll hate me for being a backstabbing "narc" & they aren't there to hear what I say. He assured me that wouldn't happen. So I spoke the honest truth. BIG mistake. If I had lied I would have made one enemy but by speaking the truth I made the other my enemy. And she's spewing venom around the work center that I'm an asshole who's trying to get her fired, so I have potentially a dozen new enemies now. There was no need to drag me into this mess. I didn't start it & have nothing to do with it. I'm a peacemaker. I always have been. It's what I do. I'm just venting my angst now but I'm also curious; was there a way out? If I had refused to speak, I don't know what would have happened, lots of variables. The boss would be pissed off, I know that. Maybe that was my best option.
 

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I think the best you could have one was to maybe cushioned it a little and played down some of the things which both parties said etc. It is to diffuse the situation. Remember, NFs, diplomats.... Impartiality.
But since what is done is done. I guess, you gotta find a way to cushion and make amends back with the other party and maybe telling them the truth also, in a cushioned way may help ? Tell them your intent was not to get them fired but you told the truth.

This is what I normally do. Just to tell the party what you said, cos saying things behind people's back is not nice. But if you had to then they too deserve to know the truth of what was said etc. It shows that you owned up to what you did. As to what the boss do next is anyone's guess...
 

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MOTM Dec 2012
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Yeah, your best move is to talk personally to the most relevant people in your organization. Ask them for coffee or lunch and tell them your side of the story. Be direct and don't care about their reaction. They will at least see that you are being honest and brave, and perhaps will think twice.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Things are looking up, I think. I talked with her & explained that I didn't go to the boss & volunteer gossip. He told me to tell him what happened in detail, so I did as I was told. The union steward told me I had no choice but tell him. Had I refused I could have put my job on the line & I will NOT fall on my sword for anybody. I won't end up on the street to protect a coworker, I struggled WAY too many years trying to survive on pocket change. Not doing that again. Anyway, yes she was mad. Actually, furious. I let her vent for nearly 2 hours & by the end she calmed down & thanked me for listening. Seems she's forgotten that I've given her rides home, changed her flat tire once & loaned her money & things but, oh well. I'm just glad I (probably) got off the list of people she hates. Might be months before I'm trusted again but I don't think I'll have to watch my back anymore. I hate being hated. FWIW I think she might be ESFJ. If those 2 ever get into another fight I'm walking out of the room. "Boss, I know nothing, saw nothing & heard nothing. Sorry". :)
 
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