Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 27 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,292 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am not coming here to rage, I am not coming here to rant, I am coming here and typing this out of concern for my fellow INFJs.

I see it all of the time, the thought that INFJs are some type of saint or angel that is perfect and that we can open people like a book. We aren't perfect, we have problems and issues just like everyone. Believing that people are that easy to know is incredibly arrogant and not to mention it insults those people. All of the INFJ brown nosing or the effects of it is beginning to really concern me because I can see it stalling us from real progress.

Compliments are great and I am not condemning those people who think we are great amazing people and voice it, we have the potential, just like every other type to be a great person. In the same breath, we have the potential to be terribly unhealthy people, I know, I have been there. Sometimes we need that praise and those compliments because of how hard we are on ourselves. But please, don't let it go to your head!

I am reaching out to my other INFJs. If we sit here and listen to all of the praise, read all of it. Then us being us, sitting there and thinking about it an absurd amount, it will have an impact on us. If we develop this false sense of perfection and amazing qualities, it will stall real forward progress as a individual. It is like trying to pound hot iron into a shield with someone blocking or weakening the swings of the forging hammer. The Pounding of the hammer being forging ourselves into better people, the hot iron being ourselves and the force holding us back being the false belief of grandeur.

It is incredibly dangerous if we allow all of this to go to our head, even if we think it isn't and say it isn't and don't believe it is, the subtle impact it can have is potentially ruinous. If the facade of being something extra-ordinary develops, when we really fall flat on our face the fall will be tenfold more disastrous if that facade wasn't there.

So please, take the compliments and praise with a grain of salt and don't let them go to your head because it will stall you from being a better person. Never stop criticizing yourself but don't over do it a HEALTHY amount of self examination goes a long way.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,675 Posts
I was thinking this same thing a few times... I'm flattered by the INFJs are amazing thread as much as anyone else... but even so it gives me pause.

As you said... We aren't perfect and we should and consider ourselves with the humility that comes from realizing that. At our worst if we're overwhelmed by the storm of feelings and ideals inside us, we can become emotional lockboxes and the worst kind of party poopers. xD

And plenty of people come on here and praise us... But how much of that is just because of our reputation as being rare and misunderstood? How many people truly want to get to know us?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,869 Posts
I agree that we are not perfect people. In fact, being on the INFJ forum lately, I think I've grown in my awareness of both of our positive aspects, as well as the negative. Sometimes, I see my flaws in others (through posts) and I relate to them. And sometimes, I see other similarities, good and bad. Because so many of us are together, I think that this heightens and brings out certain qualities.

I think lately I've been in my own little world dealing with a lot of stress IRL so I havent been keeping up too much with the INFJ forum (except for random threads on a variety of the type-forums) and my own problem-related threads. 'm not quite sure what the brown-nosing phrase means, but definitely INFJs if you are reading this thread, always remember to take the good with the bad, even about yourself.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,292 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I agree that we are not perfect people. In fact, being on the INFJ forum lately, I think I've grown in my awareness of both of our positive aspects, as well as the negative. Sometimes, I see my flaws in others (through posts) and I relate to them. And sometimes, I see other similarities, good and bad. Because so many of us are together, I think that this heightens and brings out certain qualities.

I think lately I've been in my own little world dealing with a lot of stress IRL so I havent been keeping up too much with the INFJ forum (except for random threads on a variety of the type-forums) and my own problem-related threads. 'm not quite sure what the brown-nosing phrase means, but definitely INFJs if you are reading this thread, always remember to take the good with the bad, even about yourself.
Brown nosing, in polite terms means kissing up to people. After posting I realized that some people probably won't know what it means. >.< My fault
 
  • Like
Reactions: Female INFJ

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
12,075 Posts
Thank you Humilis Curator! I did not respond to that thread, nor intend to. Yes, one of my favorite sayings "Take with a grain of salt". I have not opened it up in quite a while. I would rather have a compliment given on a one on one basis. It has truer meaning. Don't get me wrong, this one on one basis can be more than one person giving a person a compliment. I strongly believe we are all equal in that we all have our strong suits, as well as, our faults. I think in an universal way anyhow. I believe all of this world: animals (including humans), plants, insect, air, earth, etc. are all one...collectively working together as one, whether us humans tend to be rather destructive about it is a whole different subject.
 
  • Like
Reactions: HorribleAesthete

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,361 Posts
I agree with you and I also think quite a number of the posts here can make some of us look like we are so full of ourselves or self-righteous even.. but I find many things can be left unsaid and the only way to really know the person, their perspective, intentions etc is to experience what they're going through. It's only one part of the picture. There are a lot of strange things/stories out there in t he world...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
378 Posts
I never took the glorified descriptions of infjs seriously- I *know* I'm not even close to being "self-actualised". I think many infjs also care about authenticity and being honest with ourselves, so we wouldn't want other types to have a skewed misconception of us. One example is the infps thinking we are a more "put together" version of them who can actually get things done. Although society values Jness more, we lead with a perceiving function which can be just as indecisive, disorganised or impractical sometimes. And just bc we might be good at hiding our emotions in public doesn't mean we are internally stronger.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,333 Posts
I never took the glorified descriptions of infjs seriously- I *know* I'm not even close to being "self-actualised". I think many infjs also care about authenticity and being honest with ourselves, so we wouldn't want other types to have a skewed misconception of us. One example is the infps thinking we are a more "put together" version of them who can actually get things done. Although society values Jness more, we lead with a perceiving function which can be just as indecisive, disorganised or impractical sometimes. And just bc we might be good at hiding our emotions in public doesn't mean we are internally stronger.
totally loving what you brought up here.
ha ha ha.
humulis. it isn't stopping!!! compliments forever!!!!!
jk...
I actaully insult people in a socially acceptable way to relieve stress.
people can learn from it too.
plus it helps me get out of my rage and I find it is kind of a turn on for some people.
I sort of attack them before the crime.
and kinda block them from making a future mistake.
which in essence is dangerous but whatever...
most people are just happy I kinda get them that way... other people look at me like.. how dare he!
that comes from my uncarring side. which I actually enjoy more so than the caring side.
I figure more uncarring INFJ's are actaully out and about insulting people while the nice versions are all online.
kind of the opposite of the rest of the types if you ask me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
378 Posts
lol I love insulting my friends, it's my way of showing affection ;D and sometimes I also do it with the intention of debating something they've done, in that half joking, half serious way so it doesn't create so much tension but still makes them think.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
294 Posts
When I first discovered my true type on these forums, I just felt SO happy to know that there were others out there who could relate to me! Well, not that I don't know a few INFJs in real life, because I do; but, personality type and the struggles involved don't really tend to come up a whole lot in real life conversation, yk? So, I certainly don't think any less of other personality types-- I actually envy some of them. But, it is nice to have a place where I can come and discuss my strengths AND my weaknesses with others who actually get it.

And I always take everything with a grain of salt...But thanks for the reminder!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,834 Posts
I know I'm not perfect; as if there was such a thing as a perfect person (Jesus?).

I'm continually learning and trying to better myself. In my opinion, the most important quality or skill is being able to take an objective view of your life and your personality, to analyze the decisions you make, and, ultimately, to fully realize your mistakes and the areas of your life that need improvement.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
27 Posts
I'm new to this so a lot hasn't sunken in yet but when I read the other mbti descriptions, I can't help but think, "wish I had a little of this or that." For every good trait, there's a dark side.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,834 Posts
I'm new to this so a lot hasn't sunken in yet but when I read the other mbti descriptions, I can't help but think, "wish I had a little of this or that." For every good trait, there's a dark side.
I agree. Though I'd like to believe we consist of more good than bad stuff.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,325 Posts
wait. is there a specific thread people are referring to?

if so, could someone pm it to me?
Yeah, I have to second the post above.

Which threads are we talking about? Because all the threads I've seen are like self-help threads mostly. Maybe I have tunnel vision and go straight to those threads.

I wasn't even aware INFJ's were able to feel good about anything LOL
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,990 Posts
I am not coming here to rage, I am not coming here to rant, I am coming here and typing this out of concern for my fellow INFJs.
you do realize that this is your post and it's got nothing to do with concern for others, this is all about you

and yes, we are aware of our flaws, how about you ? :dry:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,675 Posts
you do realize that this is your post and it's got nothing to do with concern for others, this is all about you

and yes, we are aware of our flaws, how about you ? :dry:
Well I don't agree that he is making this about himself. His statement about INFJ deification is a pretty valid point.

I'm betting that INFJs can be pretty hard on themselves so I don't think that humility is really something we're in danger of losing... but what is interesting is all the people who I feel... praise us to no end... without really understanding us... Without understanding what we do and why.

Hell... most of the time I don't understand me. :p
 
1 - 20 of 27 Posts
Top