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Wearing your Heart on your Sleeve: Brave or Stupid

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8w7 5w4 2w3 I have never done it. Never been compelled enough to. But I consider people who do, brave.
 
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Here we are, @Animal and @LeoCat; the usual suspects.


Allright... ENTJ, 8w7, 3w2, 7w8. I've never done it, I've never felt the need to do so. Yet, I consider those capable (and willing) to doing so extremely brave; given how the world has the ability to stomp and mess up people who do it, in such a craptacular way. Bravo, to those who do; bravo, in deed.
 

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5, INTP.

My emotions are like a volcano, either it's completely dormant, or explosive. I can't express my feelings with tact; it just spews out of me in a fiery gush.

With people expressing their feelings, I don't so much as appreciate their feeling as I appreciate their honesty. It's a rare thing for someone to be vulnerable, to catch a glimpse to what they are like inside. I can see how it's embarrassing, but stupid? No.
 

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MBTI: INFP, Enneagram: 9w1, Tritype: 9w1, 4w5, 5w4 or 9w1, 5w4, 4w5 xD
I've never worn my heart of my sleeves (or maybe I did, just not very often) because it's hard.
And that's why it's brave! Because it's hard xD
It's hard to wear your heart on your sleeves because it's easy to be criticized for it, and it just makes you vulnerable, to the point where you may just come off as shallow and naive.
 

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brave and stupid are not mutually exclusive

@OT
entirely contextual.
- on one hand, wearing one's feelings on one's sleeve can be brave in that it is an expression of vulnerability; one the other, it can be just as brave to put on a strong face for the sake of making those around you feel safe.
- whether it's stupid or not depends on who you're around. if you're interacting with an asshole who socially preys on people's emotions, then yes, it's very stupid to wear them on your sleeve. on the other hand, when the coast is clear and you're with someone you know you can trust, expressing emotional vulnerability can be a bonding experience and help to get a load off one's chest.
 

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6w7/1w9/4w3/sp/so/INFP

If you mindlessly wear your heart on your sleeve, which results in being rejected because you expected people to reciprocate, then that doesn't seem brave, more needy. But if you wear your heart on your sleeve and accept the consequences of being rejected but still feel the need to spread the love because you selflessly feel it, then that is admirable and brave.

Do I wear my heart on my sleeve? Sometimes, not often though. I took risks and sometimes they were appreciated and sometimes not. Im cautious about expressing my deep appreciation only because it doesn't come out very naturally, I want it to come out genuine and that pressure I put on myself makes it sound contrived, this puts me off expressing appreciation in general, just because of it's delivery and how others doubt me. However, I may give into doubt and rejection because I appreciate them too much, I will slip into conversation some of their good qualities rather than make a grand statement generally speaking. Im kinda worried they may throw my compliments back in my face or see them as fake/kissing ass or doubt my perception which has happened a lot and has put me off doing this again, alot of this is just blown out proportion thoughts in my head, not all of them are actually true.
 

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INFJ, 4w5 5w4 9w1

Always did it, still do. It can be stupid at times, but overall, I feel it did me more good than harm. I generally don't have a problem with making myself vulnerable; holding back to keep a strong exterior is just not my thing, never has been (edit: Do I really think it's brave then? Don't know, feels too normal to even think of it as a really brave thing to do.)

The only exception I'd make is if I strongly sense I'd hurt someone. I try not to be too blunt in that case, but I won't lie either.
 

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6w5-3w2-8w9,ESTJ, I did that once or twice and I realized, that's a really stupid thing to do,because nobody unless they truly love you would care about how are you feeling .Outside people are just show watchers ,they seek entertainment out of people's emotional turmoil and feed them with false sympathy and compassion.
 
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I've never worn my heart of my sleeves (or maybe I did, just not very often) because it's hard.
And that's why it's brave! Because it's hard xD
eh, i have it the other way around. it's a lot more difficult for me to even be aware of my own emotions, and then filter them through some lens, a process that also takes conscious control. i usually am just the way i am in the moment, i'm not aware of how i'm coming across until much later when i can put the experience into perspective. and since i'm unaware of my own self, i can't change it.

and my reaction, whether it's ''bad'' or not depends on the consequences. if the outcome is favorable, it never matters. if it's not then --having become conscious of myself, even though with a delay -- i shut down anything that contributed to it. then i will stop.

luckily, i don't think my type of ''heart on your sleeve'' is at an extreme with itself. i just become a little more open and more expressive than my usual self, and i show my emotion (while, paradoxically, remaining unaware of doing it in my mind). there's just a few degrees more permeability. i'm still my usual self where other things are concerned, and some of that cancels out the extra emotion. i think....

874. sx/sp.
 

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eh, i have it the other way around. it's a lot more difficult for me to even be aware of my own emotions, and then filter them through some lens, a process that also takes conscious control. i usually am just the way i am in the moment, i'm not aware of how i'm coming across until much later when i can put the experience into perspective. and since i'm unaware of my own self, i can't change it.

and my reaction, whether it's ''bad'' or not depends on the consequences. if the outcome is favorable, it never matters. if it's not then --having become conscious of myself, even though with a delay -- i shut down anything that contributed to it. then i will stop.

luckily, i don't think my type of ''heart on your sleeve'' is at an extreme with itself. i just become a little more open and more expressive than my usual self, and i show my emotion (while, paradoxically, remaining unaware of doing it in my mind). there's just a few degrees more permeability. i'm still my usual self where other things are concerned, and some of that cancels out the extra emotion. i think....

874. sx/sp.
Makes sense! Perhaps because I tend to be more introspective, so I'm quite aware of how I come off to others plus my emotions can be quite strong so from my point of view revealing those emotions would make me stand out a lot - especially since most people around me tend to be quite "dead".
On the other hand, I have this friend who really shows all her emotions so people tend to see her naive (which is partially true, but not most of the time), and well, in comparison to HER, I look and feel "dead", even though I'm not dead inside.
Makes me wonder how many people are doing the same thing I am because we're scared to stand out and be criticized. Which is why that's so brave of her and people like you! Even if you're not doing it on purpose, it's still brave.
 

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I've only done it once and it was the bravest and most difficult thing I ever did in my life. I knew I would be rejected but it got to the point where I had to lay it out there, to know that I tried my absolute best. I simply couldn't walk away without trying.. I knew I would "what if?" myself forever.

That being said I did not spill out my entire heart. The 'vulnerability' I exposed was about one sentence long. I did not beg, blather on, or carry on like an idiot. I simply said what needs to be said so that I can know that I tried and move on.

847 Sx/Sp
 

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I voted "I've never done it, it's stupid", although I have actually done it a couple of times (and both were a disaster + a learning experience). I said I've never done it because when I did it I was pretty much certain of how the other person would react, so whether that counts or doesn't count is debatable. Does it really count if you only do it when you know what you're gonna get?
However! I'm an INFP so it can be argued that these were brave moves from my part. I never ever ever let my feelings show, if I do it's because I am 99.9% sure of what the outcome is gonna be. I think it was very brave of me to do that because I went out of my comfort zone; even when my first attempt had failed, I did it again. But I don't know... I did it when I was convinced of what I would get in return. But turns out the other people tricked me into thinking that it was okay to wear my feelings on my sleeve when I was around them, but they were just playing with me. Quite heartbreaking.

My mother and one of my ex-friends are two people who wear their feelings on their sleeves on a constant basis (they're just that way) and I see how they suffer sooooo much, and also they make people around them feel miserable (me included). These people are not brave, they are not exercising bravery like I did, they are just reckless. There's a difference. So I hate it when other wear their feelings on their sleeve and I would never do that myself again. It's stupid and irresponsible.
 
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Time and place dependent, for example in some workplaces there is more of a need to not bottle up concerns, issues or feelings when silly 'alpha-beta', 'superior-inferior' roles can be played out if one is seen as passive and disinterested.

Typically in less formal settings I will often remain emotionally open and less guarded encouraging others to their be true selves too, insofar as it remains possible and not negative for both parties (for example around emotionally distant elders being emotionally open can become more toxic as an 'atypical sensitive man').

INFJ 653, sx so
 

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That being said I did not spill out my entire heart. The 'vulnerability' I exposed was about one sentence long. I did not beg, blather on, or carry on like an idiot. I simply said what needs to be said so that I can know that I tried and move on.
yup. and ''heart on a sleeve'' doesn't necessarily mean begging, lol. it just means visibility of your emotional state. but i agree, that in my case too, it is limited. only the person i feel affection for actually sees it. with others i am the way i usually am.

and when you get to the speech state, that means you're already conscious of it. by then of course you'll control the degree to which you express your vulnerability. i'm in control with that. it's everything that comes before that i'm not in control of and where i may show more than i'd like in retrospect.

but even so, i don't really want to change my emotions. it's weird, but i don't regret them, even if i get burned by them sometimes. i'm not ashamed of feeling something for another person, or becoming vulnerable to them. they make me feel something, and that still is better even unreciprocated, than not at all. if i changed it, it would lose its authenticity. that is fake. i'd probably be more unsettled by the latter situation than the former. i can take the pain. i'd rather take genuine hurt over fake bliss any day.
 

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I need an "it depends" option.

It can be brave, if you choose to accept the risk of getting hurt. The extremes of pretending there is no risk or doing so knowing you will get hurt are pretty stupid, IMO.

As far as whether I've done so... well. "Wearing your heart on your sleeve" has always meant to me being public with your feelings. I've never done that; it seems to me like wearing my underwear outside my clothes-- why would I want to do that? But if you mean being open about your feelings with another individual, then yes, I have done that. Difficult, but it was the logical thing to do. Didn't work out as I had hoped in one case, but no regrets.

684 sx/sp INTJ.
 
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I don't think I fully understand the question. Where do hearts exist but on sleeves? I appreciate that others presumably go about this sort of thing differently, but I hardly know how I feel until I hear myself say so. I know myself by demonstrating myself. My heart is either on my sleeve or nowhere at all.

So to me the question may as well be "do you acknowledge it or do you not?" For most of my life I've chosen not to, except in certain very limited circumstances where I was shy and inarticulate and less than successful, and lived the rest of my life by a very different set of rules. So I'm only now learning the basic vocabulary of these things, which presumably gives me a very raw and emphatic style and exposes all the neediness and hurt that shut me down so thoroughly to begin with.

There's something compulsive about the way I'm going about it -- I really only recognize two choices, to "be me" or to "not be me" and am choosing the former blindly. And yet the neediness and hurt is changing in the process. It used to be a backwards-looking sense of guilt and wrongness, a sense that I've transgressed somehow and been violently estranged from everyone around me, and I lived my life trying to understand how and to ameliorate it as best I could. Now it's becoming a forwards-looking vulnerability, a kind of freedom from my own past, an open acceptance of what might come, and the strength to deal with it.

Or so I think. That's what it seems like so far, but the process is only half finished.

ISFJ 6wB 2w3 1w9 so/sx

TL;DR: Brave, and probably also stupid, but stupid in a manner that is itself brave.
 

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INTP 9w1, not sure of tritype.I pretty much agree with Swordsman of Mana. In addition to context, I'd also say that it partly depends on the person. Some people will find it easier to "wear their heart on their sleeves" than others and may do it pretty often. I've met quite a few people who would discuss emotional topics or elsewise show emotions in a way I considered pretty exposing rather quickly on in (and not necessarily in a fashion I'd call needy either), it was just how they were. I don't see it as being as brave in these cases because it's more natural for them, it's not as scary. It'd be much braver for me to wear my heart on my sleeve like that because I am more emotionally private so it's generally uncomfortable for me.
 

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It's very situational. But I would consider it more brave than anything else, to let your authentic feelings flow for all to see and risk being insulted or invalidated. 6w7-2wB/3w2-1wB so/sx ESFP
 

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Rarely done it.

Generally tend to find people who do it annoying or manipulative.

Would probably admire somebody who did it for the right purpose.
 
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