[IanUK]

well, newbies first thread here and loving this forum!

well im the istj with a few phobias/mental conditions... got touch aversion, and treated for bipolar, so getting into a relationship without someone really prepaired to work with me is going to be hard, yet i find myself drawn to older people and their stories and normal ooks dont entertain me yet a tech manual can keep me happy for days!!!

does anyone else share the same, just im 28 and im well in with those from their 40's+ for best/true friends. any other person around my age seems boring unless they into something technical.

or is it just me, the odd one out lol

 

[Sela]

Unless I know you REALLY well (VERY close friends, family), don't touch me. I hate hugs, and even the "encouraging touch on the arm" makes me want to recoil. I've learned to tolerate it to a certain extent because I know that's how a lot of people are. When I was younger it was all I could do to not physically recoil, but now I just grit my teeth and put on the "hopefully I look like I'm happy" smile and get it over with

 

[IanUK]

yes,when someone puts their hand on my back i seize, and i been told when touched on the arm for "comforting/sympethic" reasons i look like say WTF, why you doing that for...
i hate how people sometime grope as the squeeze past,,, uhhgg im cringing to the thought as im typing it and if i can get away without shaking hands or hi 5's i will do...

once i decided to try acupunctre to deaden some nerve pain, well as soon as he touched my spine i jumped off the bed/table, we found if he holds the pin and just tap it in it dont hurt, if he touches me it hurts without the pin.

im glad i got someone else to share a problem that many people didnt know exist

 

[Sela]

I completely understand where you're coming from on this. In my opinion, it'll become more tolerable the older you get. At least that was the case with me. YMMV, of course.

 

[niss]

Yeah, I agree with Sela. I don't like touching very much, unless I know you well, but I can endure it better as I get older.

 

[Caius20]

Honestly, touch doesn't bother me as much as it appears to bother you all. I mean, a complete stranger just coming up and hugging me would weird me out a lot-- who wouldn't be weirded out by that??

But if I am talking to a new person, and they make a joke or something and reach over and touch me, it's not weird at all. Then again, I am a fairly touchy person, too... Physical contact is important to me.

 

[IanUK]

well, i would have thought there would have been more people like me on this, well we can say its not attached to us istj people as a rule.

 

[madhatter]

I know three ISTJs about whom I can speak definitively. My brother's best friend from high school absolutely hates to be touched other than a hand shake. A co-worker of mine prefers to have her personal space un-invaded, but if she knows the person well and likes them, a brief hug is not remiss. My sister doesn't seem to mind as much, but she values her personal "bubble", as she calls it, over hugging.

Just different levels on the spectrum, I suppose.

 

[skygghet]

I'm not that bothered by touch, other than a slight nervous feeling. I do enjoy my "bubble" also. It does seem to mellow with age.

 

[thestrangewarrior]

I used to be very sensitive touch. I still can be if it's someone I'm not familiar with. For me, it's a trust/security thing.

 

[The Great One]

well, newbies first thread here and loving this forum!

well im the istj with a few phobias/mental conditions... got touch aversion, and treated for bipolar, so getting into a relationship without someone really prepaired to work with me is going to be hard, yet i find myself drawn to older people and their stories and normal ooks dont entertain me yet a tech manual can keep me happy for days!!!

does anyone else share the same, just im 28 and im well in with those from their 40's+ for best/true friends. any other person around my age seems boring unless they into something technical.

or is it just me, the odd one out lol

You sound like an enneagram 6? Does this describe you?....

6-Enneagram Type Six Full Description | AllPersonality.com

 

[IanUK]

ahh, now im starting to see a little corolation between us and the ammount of trust we seek to feel comfortable, this is turning out to be an interesting question i started

 

[IanUK]

You sound like an enneagram 6? Does this describe you?....]

well i read a great proportion of it and i started of with no's but it went to detail and started to nod my head

when i was being treated for depression and nothing was working i was looking at myself for months wondering why my life was such, shortly after they said i got a mixed mood disorder (manic depression, aka bipolar) and i still have the knowledge of how to view myself from the 3rd persons view...

any fear/anxiaty i stand up to and as what i typed in another post for someone else was that i could be seen to over react, be too confident and that can scare people as they didnt expect to have things happen so fast.

so, again, thank you, that was a great read now i can help others so they can understand why i am like i am and that things shouldnt be taken personally.

 

[tallenglishgirl]

it gets better

I used to be exactly the same when I was your age. I was so senstive that even just standing next to someone at the bus stop or someone in a queue touching or brushing me would make me furious; boundaries please! It really does get a lot better as you get older (and more used to it). I think you have an 'old soul' if there is such a thing and if you're an introverted personality, you're probably highly intelligent and gifted too and as such, you'll feel you have far more in common with more developed souls who've lived and learned rather than the young, who do tend to focus on the superficial (sorry to everyone under 30 - I know it's not always like that!)

As for the difficulty in having a relationship, if you meet someone you really like and get to know them while being honest both with her and yourself about what you're like and what you need to be happy, then it shouldn't be difficult. The key is authenticity. Don't try to be something you're not in order to attract someone (anyone) as you'll just end up attracting the wrong type.

I hope this helps.

 

[The Great One]

You sound like an enneagram 6? Does this describe you?....]

well i read a great proportion of it and i started of with no's but it went to detail and started to nod my head

when i was being treated for depression and nothing was working i was looking at myself for months wondering why my life was such, shortly after they said i got a mixed mood disorder (manic depression, aka bipolar) and i still have the knowledge of how to view myself from the 3rd persons view...

any fear/anxiaty i stand up to and as what i typed in another post for someone else was that i could be seen to over react, be too confident and that can scare people as they didnt expect to have things happen so fast.

so, again, thank you, that was a great read now i can help others so they can understand why i am like i am and that things shouldnt be taken personally.

Yeah, I'm a 7 with a 6 wing. You sound like a 6 with a 5 wing.

 

[IanUK]

The key is authenticity. Don't try to be something you're not in order to attract someone (anyone) as you'll just end up attracting the wrong type.

i totally agree, i am who i am and if they dont like it they can ask for either a compromise or leave... if its something that is somewhat easy then changing to help better the relationship is a must, but if its to much or if its the individual personality which cant be changed but can be masked then things go south fast.

and to finalise, i am that type of person who needs a higher interlect even if my spelling is poopy at times lol
hehehe:tongue:

 

[IanUK]

you sent me a PM which i cant reply as i havent reached 15 posts, can you PM me your email and i will answer your question