[paper lilies]

I originally had this posted in another sub-forum but I wanted to open this up to all types.
Also, from the responses I have received I wanted to add a little more to it.

Were you bullied in school?
What grades were you bullied in or were you bullied throughout your whole school experience?
How did you deal with it?
Did it affect you in any way? How?
Why do you think you were bullied? Was there a reason or were they just bullying for the sake of bullying?

Now for the flip side...

Did you bully in school?
What grades did you bully in or did you bully throughout your whole school experience?
Why did you bully? Was there a reason?
How do you feel about it now?

If you were both the bully and the bullied feel free to answer all questions.
If you were both: Did one affect the other? I.e. Did you start bullying because you were bullied before?

 

[koalaroo]

Were you bullied in school?
What grades were you bullied in or were you bullied throughout your whole school experience?
How did you deal with it?
Did it affect you in any way? How?
Why do you think you were bullied? Was there a reason or were they just bullying for the sake of bullying?

Yes, I was bullied in school. The primary years of bullying were fifth grade (~10 years old) to eighth grade (~14 years old). I dealt with the bullying by withdrawing. This period of time was also the onset of some of my depressive symptom, as well as a sort of burning rage inside of me. These would have probably happened without the bullying, but I think the bullying exarcerbated my symptoms. I was bullied because I was different in many respects: I was a different religion than the kids I was in school with (part of the bullying was people telling me I was going to Hell for being Catholic), very tall and physically awkward, I don't have a Southern accent (I have the broadcast journalist accent, for the most part), and I was smarter than probably 98% of my classmates. In sixth grade, I actually had a teacher who was bullying me during her divorce. The school refused to switch me from the abusive/bullying teacher's "unit" because there was no "proof" of abusive behavior towards me, despite testimony from other students who pointed out that this witch was singling me out.

Did you bully in school?
What grades did you bully in or did you bully throughout your whole school experience?
Why did you bully? Was there a reason?
How do you feel about it now?

8th grade (13-14 years old) was the year that I participated in "bullying" -- I made sort of ... relatively biting political cartoons about people who were jerks to me. I guess I learned there was nothing more demeaning than having your entire class or grade laugh at you and ridicule you because of a perceived fault, especially one you take to heart. I don't feel proud of the fact that I did it, but giving the bullying lackwits double middle fingers and some food for thought certainly made me feel a bit better at the time.

If you were both: Did one affect the other? I.e. Did you start bullying because you were bullied before?

And yes, I started bullying because I was bullied before.

 

[Fleetfoot]

Were you bullied in school?
Yes
What grades were you bullied in or were you bullied throughout your whole school experience?
Throughout, for the most part.
How did you deal with it?
Retaliation, self-loathing (if I'm in a very bad mental state) or I'd just ignore it. I had better things to do.
Did it affect you in any way? How?
It made me to the person I am today. Being brought down made me more motivated to get ahead of them.
Why do you think you were bullied? Was there a reason or were they just bullying for the sake of bullying?
It depends for each person. I don't blame anyone who has bullied me for what they have done, plus it wasn't the kind of bullying that kids seem to do today, and I had a very helpful circle of friends and support group. I think a lot of reasons why people are bullied is because they just don't know any better. They see their parents and peers do it, so they do it too. Bullying is an incredibly subjective term also. What I may say about someone may constitute as 'bullying', but I may see it as 'being honest' or 'lack of understanding of what it is to be personally offended'...it's usually the latter.

Now for the flip side...

Did you bully in school?
Yes
What grades did you bully in or did you bully throughout your whole school experience?
Primarily elementary school, mostly because everyone in our grade was generally the same size. Equal fights.
Why did you bully? Was there a reason?
Yes, I only bullied others when I saw them bullying people that had no reason to be bullied. I'd usually only just stand up for people being bullied, and if they tried giving me problems then I'd start giving them some.
How do you feel about it now?
Some of the bullying I did was incredibly mean and there was no reason for it, and that's the bullying I used to feel bad about. I don't feel bad about any of it anymore. I'm grown up, I've been bullied, I know how to move on, if you need help moving on feel free to ask, but sulking in the past is a waste of time.

 

[paper lilies]

Bullying is an incredibly subjective term also. What I may say about someone may constitute as 'bullying', but I may see it as 'being honest' or 'lack of understanding of what it is to be personally offended'...it's usually the latter.

I agree with this completely.
Some people will take constructive criticism for example, as bullying if their feelings get hurt easily.
This thread is what bullying means to you though. So, if Simon Cowell told you that you were the worst singer he's ever heard in your high school experience audition for American Idol and you thought that he was bullying you, feel free to share. Bullying will always be personal to that one individual.

 

[Stephen]

Were you bullied in school?
What grades were you bullied in or were you bullied throughout your whole school experience?
How did you deal with it?
Did it affect you in any way? How?
Why do you think you were bullied? Was there a reason or were they just bullying for the sake of bullying?

I was bullied in school up until my senior year in High School. Most of the time I took it and kept my head down, but with the occasional explosion of violence against my peers. A few times I was pushed too far and I knocked people over, punched people out, threw people into lockers, that sort of thing, but that was rare.

Eventually I took a dose of fukitol and came completely out of my shell.

I was walking down the hall with my best friend and he lurched forward, shoved by some bulky football player. My friend caught his footing, balled up his fists, turned around and then wilted at the much larger guy and stepped out of the way. Seeing that response in my friend, I jumped in front of him and went toe to toe with the guy, who was surprised to see me there. He told me to move and I refused. He went around us. What a rush.

The bullying taught me a lot about human nature. I learned that humanity is filled with bitter small-minded people who would prefer to express their insecurities through projection, and by making things harder for others. Life since then has proven this same idea again and again. It's funny how many adults I deal with on a daily basis are common bullies. It's a shame they can't be handled the way I did in school.

Did you bully in school?

Absolutely not. I don't recall ever knowingly harming or harassing anyone in school, outside of self defense.

I would love to see @snail in this thread.

 

[liza_200]

Were you bullied in school?

Yes

What grades were you bullied in or were you bullied throughout your whole school experience?

5-7th grade, and no. My school life isn't over yet but no, now no one dares to bully me. XD

How did you deal with it?

I tried to take revenge on it, or else I would try to forget and think of tactics in a way I could bully them too.

Did it affect you in any way? How?

Yes, it made me feel depressed.

Why do you think you were bullied? Was there a reason or were they just bullying for the sake of bullying?

I'm sure, it was just for the sake of bullying.

 

[Leeoflittlefaith]

I was bullied several times during my school days. Probably a few times in primary school, though I don't remember it well, and a few times in secondary school as well.

My history of bullying is sort of complicated because there was this one time in particular where I wasn't sure if I was being bullied or not. I was the unpopular kid in class, and I told teachers this guy bullied me, when in reality I don't know if he did or not; I've blocked an awful lot of school out of my mind in order to cope with it. I could have just been jealous because he was outspoken and popular, and I could have been making a fuss over feeling threatened by the slightest comment or criticism.

There were several others who definitely bullied me. There was this one guy who whacked me on the school bus repeatedly with an ice pack. He was pretty much universally recognized as the school's resident asshole, that guy. I made sure he got done for that one. Another guy from my IT class intimidated me and tried to take my mp3 player. He got done as well, he wasn't as bad a guy but he was a bit of a pompous bastard. I would tell teachers in big obvious cases like that.

Being bullied has had an effect on me though it's not like I'm all hardened or anything. More like I'm aware that I have rights and people in society are there to look after me. It's made me admire authority figures - even though I rarely particularly approved of how teachers dealt with my respective situations. I mean, in the first and more ambiguous case I mentioned I think they're responsible for blowing things out of proportion.

I was bullied frankly because I looked weird and weak and vulnerable, and because I had little to no close friends to protect me. I was small for my age as well.

I think I may have been responsible for some incessant teasing during primary school that could have been interpreted as bullying, but I never intentionally hurt or intimidated anyone.

 

[error]

I was never bullied... it didn't seem like bullying was that big of a problem in my school. I had a small number of friends but most people didn't give me the time of day. I might have been a bit sarcastic at times, I once made a girl cry unintentionally because I was teasing her, but I've always been that way, even with my friends. My friends were quick to point out lapses is logic or fumbles. But between us this playful teasing was a sign of friendship and a source of humor, both schadenfreudic and self deprecating since we all engaged in and accepted the criticism, in most cases it was pointless, unfounded and generally harmless. I never considered it bullying, just playful sparring between friends.

 

[Phoenix0]

Were you bullied in school?

I should say no, because I never gave a shit who said what to me EVER, at any age, but I guess I was bullied.

What grades were you bullied in or were you bullied throughout your whole school experience?

Grade 5

How did you deal with it?

I didn't give a horses ass

Did it affect you in any way? How?

I didn't give a horses ass

Why do you think you were bullied? Was there a reason or were they just bullying for the sake of bullying?

I don't know and I don't care.

yea... >_>

 

[Empty]

People in general, bullies included, will do everything possible to avoid a fight. Keep this in mind.

 

[Coburn]

Were you bullied in school?

Yes.

What grades were you bullied in or were you bullied throughout your whole school experience?

Primarily in my kindergarten years.

How did you deal with it?

For the most part, I didn't realize I was being bullied. Kids told me they didn't want to play with me and I thought "all right. i'll go do this over here then." I took everything very face value even as a kid.

I was expelled from a preschool for attacking one of my more...dedicated bullies, though.

Did it affect you in any way? How?

I find it pretty funny nowadays. I don't know anyone who was as oblivious to group exclusion as I was.

Why do you think you were bullied? Was there a reason or were they just bullying for the sake of bullying?

No idea. I didn't give it any thought at the time and don't now.

Now for the flip side...

Did you bully in school?

Yes.

What grades did you bully in or did you bully throughout your whole school experience?

Primarily grade school. Around 5th grade.

Why did you bully? Was there a reason?

I think I just enjoyed being able to provoke people. Get reactions out of them.

I remember convincing a kid that it would be fun to walk through a giant group of bushes. What he didn't know was that all the bushes were stinging nettle. I had jeans and long sleeves on. He didn't. Afterwards, his legs and arms swelled up.

How do you feel about it now?

It was a pretty jackass thing to do. The weird thing is that I didn't even hate the kid. We actually hung out a lot. I just liked messing with people when I was young, and I did it in ways that were less than appropriate.

If you were both the bully and the bullied feel free to answer all questions.
If you were both: Did one affect the other? I.e. Did you start bullying because you were bullied before?[/QUOTE]

I don't think so. I think it was me being a kid. When you're young, you want to push the boundaries and limits of what you can do to yourself and others. It's a natural testing ground.

I'm not saying what I did was nice or okay. But I think it's part of life. It's not like people stop excluding you from crap or saying shit about you once you turn 18. This stuff happens at any age.

That being said, there should have been someone there to spank me as a kid for some of the stuff I did. I more than deserved it.

EDIT: There were times in junior high and high school where people threatened physical violence. My high school's biggest reject used to sit in AP History with me and tell me he would cut out my heart with a pencil and watch me scream (note: I never bullied the kid. was WAY too busy with school). I used to tell him to try it, and that I would rip his face off before he got the pencil in deep enough to touch my heart. We ended up becoming friends after a semester of him threatening to kill me in various ways. He's actually a pretty cool guy. But he's been through shit most people only read in a horror novel.

 

[Everyday Ghoul]

Were you bullied in school? Yes, I was.

What grades were you bullied in or were you bullied throughout your whole school experience? I was looked after by the nuns in grade school, so it didn't start until I was about 13, and it lasted until I was almost 17.

How did you deal with it? I sat there and took it. Laughed at, humiliated, shamed, called names, slapped in the face, whatever. I sat and took it. Though, I would go home and have fantasies of putting a shotgun in their mouths and enjoying every second of their face going boom.

Did it affect you in any way? I think so. How? I got it hard enough at home from my old man and his family. I had no friends or support network in either place. My mom tried to shield me from dad and he would just go after her, making me feel guilty for it. At school, one time, one girl told someone hitting me to knock it off. Other than that, no one said shit, and I didn't tell anyone, because it only would have made it worse. Now, I have serious rage issues. It takes all the control I can muster to not follow someone who cuts me off in traffic, run them off the road, drag them out of their vehicle, and beat them to a bloody pulp, just so they know "No one fucks with me anymore."

Why do you think you were bullied? I was fat and poor. Was there a reason or were they just bullying for the sake of bullying? It continued, because they quickly figured out I wouldn't do anything, except put my head down, take it, and do my best not to break down in tears in front of them.

 

[snail]

I would love to see @snail in this thread.

I answered most of these questions in a different thread.

http://personalitycafe.com/nfs-temp...8087-were-you-bullied-school.html#post2183310

A few question for all the NF's:
Were you bullied in school?
Yes, horribly.
What grades were you bullied in or were you bullied throughout your whole school experience?
The whole time.
How did you deal with it?
I cried a lot.
Why do you think you were bullied?
The other children thought I was weird, and they discriminated against me for being sensitive.
Was there a reason or were they just bullying for the sake of bullying?
There is never a valid reason. They were just sadistic, possibly because most of them had abusive parents who taught them that having feelings was a bad thing.

I never bullied anyone.

 

[Zster]

Were you bullied in school? Yes

What grades were you bullied in or were you bullied throughout your whole school experience? K thru 10 (moved in 10th grade)

How did you deal with it? Grades k - 10, I ignored it. When I received some less hateful bullying at a new highschool (grade 10-12), I took their pet insult for me and embraced it as a glorious nickname.

Did it affect you in any way? How? Made me MUCH more empathetic with underdogs or anyone who is picked on. I would NEVER dish out hatred the way it was slung at me. I know how much it hurts. As a much more confident adult, this manifests as my simply not tolerating bad behavior of others when I am in a position to do something about it.

Why do you think you were bullied? Was there a reason or were they just bullying for the sake of bullying? For a long time, I had NO idea. I was a straight A student with artistic talent, but was also painfully shy and unobtrusive. Later, I figured that my last name (same as an unpopular highschool principal's) put me on a "list". At my second highschool, the boys who picked on me later confessed to crushing on me. What bullying I've suffered as an adult has mostly been at the hands of jealous, insecure, control freak females - I guess they resent me.

 

[Jewl]

I believe I've already told you from the other thread, but I shall also add on since you asked "Have you ever bullied"?

I have never bullied anybody. However, the more I think back on the times I was excluded, the more I wonder if I was the one who put the gap between myself and those other people. I was very hyper-aware of people, and I had some social paranoia. I could just tell when people were looking at me and "sizing me up" and that made me nervous. I was a bit more awkward and a bit more quiet and more willing to make friends with the teacher than my classmates who I felt shy around.

However, I don't think this gives them an excuse for jumping to conclusions about me and making me feel even worse. Like I said before, though, I think while it hurt me at the time, these people never meant me any real harm, nor did they really mean to "bully". They simply saw me as the awkward middle school girl and treated me as such. I forgive them now, because I think if they look back they probably would feel a twinge of regret.

 

[Playful Proxy]

Were you bullied in school? Yup.
What grades were you bullied in or were you bullied throughout your whole school experience? First, second grade
How did you deal with it? Socially backed off.
Did it affect you in any way? How? I probably became an introvert because of it.
Why do you think you were bullied? Was there a reason or were they just bullying for the sake of bullying? No idea.



Did you bully in school? Yup.
What grades did you bully in or did you bully throughout your whole school experience? Preschool.
Why did you bully? Was there a reason? I have no idea. I was more outgoing.
How do you feel about it now? I did not really physically harm them, but I was emotionally controlling of a group of kids. Sad to say, part of me is proud of it. I WAS a leader back then.

 

[owlet]

Were you bullied in school?
Yes.
What grades were you bullied in or were you bullied throughout your whole school experience?
Until Year 11 (10th Grade?) from Year 2 (1st Grade? Unsure about the Grades).
How did you deal with it?
Ignored it, kept to a small group of friends and never moved outside the group. Never did anything to provoke anyone - I was also very shy.
Did it affect you in any way? How? I got more shy and developed social anxiety. Also lost confidence in myself.
Why do you think you were bullied? Was there a reason or were they just bullying for the sake of bullying?
Because my sister and I stood out - we were tall for our age, twins and didn't conform to normal behaviour (used to draw, play with toys etc.). I also went to a school in a rich area and wasn't very well-off so I stood out (along with my little friend group).

 

[Le Beau Coeur]

There have been a few people who gave me a hard time, but those people come and go pretty fast.

 

[IDontThinkSo]

Were you bullied in school?

Yes. Persecuted. Wasn't beaten up (too risky for them)

What grades ?

middle school "only"

How did you deal with it?

I played dead

Did it affect you in any way? How?

I gave up on school. Though never lost the right confidence in myself. I just lost confidence in the others.

Why do you think you were bullied? Was there a reason or were they just bullying for the sake of bullying?

They had their own motives. But it's all grounded on a blatant lack of intelligence. I can explain why on a case by case basis.

Did you bully in school?

No.

How do you feel about it now?

I accept that I'm at war. It's ok now, I understood. It was just the beginning.

 

[Empress Appleia Cattius XII]

Were you bullied in school?
Yep. I was the one everyone targeted.

What grades were you bullied in or were you bullied throughout your whole school experience?
It probably started in Year 6 (I think the grade equivalent is 5?), but I have the feeling it started longer ago than that. It carried on all the way into Year 11.

How did you deal with it?
I didn't, to be honest. I kept just blowing it off and ignoring it.

Did it affect you in any way? How?
It affected me more than I cared to admit at the time- I began to get very anxious about going to school and would skive off to go walking elsewhere quite often. It also made me quite withdrawn, one of the reasons I initially typed myself as an INTP.
Since I've started college, I've begun to show signs of my old extroverted self.

Why do you think you were bullied?
I was a very easy target. I was autistic, I had bad eyesight and kept losing my glasses so I couldn't tell who was bullying me, no fashion sense, very day-dreamy, clumsy, the fact that my family were living off benefits and this was a private school (I won a bursary), my bluntness, my argumentative streak and the fact I had no friends.
It pretty much became socially acceptable to bully me.