Personality Cafe banner
1 - 20 of 29 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,803 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm just wondering if I'm possibly an INFP,

I'm not entirely sure. When I was younger I had a lot of confidence and I was somewhat outgoing. I was also pretty skilled and coordinated at a lot of different activities. I could have been an ENFP.

Up until recently I've thought I was an INFJ but I've had some doubts based on the way I used to behave as a kid.

I'm in the process of discovering my true type. I'm not sure if I'm extraverted because I'm very quiet these days. As I grew up I became a little more introverted but still was pretty confident. Not that I was very loud or anything, I just said more things outloud.

For instance, in class I would make jokes that made everyone laugh. It kind of bothered the teacher, but some of my teachers really liked me.

Anyone relate or know what I'm talking about, or have any feedback? Thanks.
 

·
PerC's 6w6
Joined
·
5,874 Posts
That sounds familiar. I was more extroverted, outgoing, and "bubbly" when growing up and enjoyed being with people, but as I got older I started to withdraw inwards. That combined with a major event (and smaller ones along the way) led to a more cynical look at the world and a loss of self esteem and confidence, leading then to my being quiet and reserved amongst people I don't know well.

Now the vestiges of that extroversion manifest themselves online - I'm far more cautious and anxious when meeting people IRL, to the point of being extremely anxious and nervous and not wanting to socialize with people in public. It's something I'm trying to deal with, slowly but surely...
 

·
MOTM July 2012
Joined
·
8,033 Posts
i can identify because i've wondered if i am actually a mistyped ENFP, but came to the realization that the ENFP-ish traits were actually the type 7 (instinctual variant undetermined, but either so or sx or both are in there) in my tritype, which is 4-7-9. do you have type 7 in your tritype? this thread talks about type 7s and humor.

like you, i'm more outgoing also if i feel confident. lack of confidence is a social inhibition...without inhibitions, people can be their real selves. extroverts lacking in confidence may appear more introverted than they really are, and introverts lacking in confidence will appear more introverted than they really are. people shrink from interaction that comes naturally to them if they lack the confidence to interact freely. i'd venture to guess that when you were a kid, you felt the confidence to interact in the way that came most naturally to you - Fe. it's actually written in some official INFJ personality descriptions that INFJs can appear like extroverts (because Fe resembles extroversion) even though they are introverts. i can vouch for this because i work with some Si doms who believe, by everything they've seen of my behavior (we've worked closely together just about every weekday this year so far), that i'm an extrovert. they laugh about how i can't not talk to people who come by. actually, it's not that i can't, it's that i don't want them to feel ignored or unloved, i feel they deserve acknowledgment and affirmation when they come by, and i want to maintain good relationships with them. but i say all that so you know that we INFJs can truly be perceived as extroverts, even though we are really introverts. if only they saw how much of my free time i spend completely alone, by choice, they wouldn't believe this. :p

also, Seinfeld is an INFJ. so is Adam Sandler. INFJs can be comedians. :)

i'm not saying you are or aren't INFJ or ENFP, because i don't know...just that these things don't rule out INFJ as your type. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
56 Posts
Yup, when I was six years old. I used to dance on the table.

Then the sun rose maybe a few too many times which, as it happens, caused me to grow out of my boy shoes. As I bore no child's name no more and my eyes could no longer see water for water , I had to face my new shadow and life long companion. It's name was shame. "No table dancing"! shame would say laughing with uncertainty ..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
51 Posts
Yeah that sounds similar to me as well. When i was younger i used to be more confident, carefree, and outgoing. I would probably describe myself as that 'loveable annoying little brat who's always around bugging people'. But as i got older the inwards withdrawal began in association with a lot of other external events. Now I'm pretty reserved and im only really open to the people i really trust and who i feel can actually understand me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,085 Posts
I was more confident than I am now for sure. Still extremely shy, though -- but definitely a lot more confident. I put this down to my self-esteem being beaten down over and over because of... well, stuff that I won't get into at the moment. As well, part of it was very likely just the normal drop in self-esteem (it's sad that it's considered "normal", IMO...) that many teenage girls experience around the time of puberty. It was also around that time that I developed depression, which persists to this day (I'm 27).

I remember getting report cards as a kid that said things like "she exudes confidence". *sigh* No one would say that about me now in a million years. I miss being that shy but self-assured little girl.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,010 Posts
That relates a little to me. I actually seemed more ambivert as a kid. I loved to meet new people and to interact and socialize with everyone, but I also valued my best friends' company a lot more and loved having time alone. There was this tiny bit of shyness that would show up whenever I met new people, but it would fade pretty quickly. Nowadays I fluctuate between trying to extravert myself too much (not healthy) and withdrawing myself too much (not good either) :confused:

So yes, there's always this little worm in my head wondering if I'm really an ENFP. It doesn't help that the only function I'm absolutely certain I have is Ne. But I don't know, it seems like I always felt more 'at home' in my own thoughts, that my contemplation was more of an integral part of me, and what made me kind of different. Is this introversion more natural to you or could it be related to shyness? That might help.

What I can say is that introverts can have a sense of humor too. In my high-school graduation class, I was pretty comfortable with everyone (it helped that we were only 10 people), and sometimes I acted like a bit of a class clown. Not enough to annoy the teachers, though. At PerC, I think this side shows up more on the Game Forum. :proud:

@emerald sea! It's the first time I see you on our forum! Welcome! :happy:
 
  • Like
Reactions: emerald sea

·
Banned
Joined
·
656 Posts
i can relate! i was actually the class clown growing up and was pretty outgoing/popular throughout elementary and middle school. Somewhere along the line though i withdrew and became alot more quiet. Thinking about it now, it was probably due to me trying to fit the quiet, reserved asian stereotype. I thought that's how I was supposed to act and would make me cool to the other asians. Funnily enough, i never really fit in with the asian crowd and kind of lost all my previous friends. I was such a silly kid lol. Anyway, despite my prior extraversion, I'm definitely more of an introvert now.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
873 Posts
I was the loud-mouth class clown back in elementary school. Then in high school, I became emo, shy, quiet, and always wanted to play video games. In college, I became a social alcoholic. Now, I'm somewhere in between..
 

·
Registered
INFP 4w5
Joined
·
1,285 Posts
I remember getting report cards as a kid that said things like "she exudes confidence". *sigh* No one would say that about me now in a million years. I miss being that shy but self-assured little girl.
It might be cliché, and I know spouting platitudes is plenty easy, but what once was may yet be once again. That confidence didn't arise out of a vacuum, it came from you. I know how much of a beating a person's psyche takes over the years. As regards the thread, I was much less inhibited initially, but most definitely every bit as introverted. But... something I've noticed is that if I feel something familiar, something I haven't felt in years but that comes to me, it feels so much like home and I realise there are some parts to me that I don't always know or remember exist. If you have had that confidence before, I'm certain you can reclaim it. To start with, you just have to ask yourself where it came from, and don't just say 'ignorance', because I know there's more to it than that.
 
  • Like
Reactions: basementbugs

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,085 Posts
But... something I've noticed is that if I feel something familiar, something I haven't felt in years but that comes to me, it feels so much like home and I realise there are some parts to me that I don't always know or remember exist.
Yes! I totally get that feeling sometimes. It's wonderful -- and so comforting somehow.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,676 Posts
I used to be such an ENFP kid. Going through KG, and then later on school, I made a huge impact on all my teachers. When my mom would come at parent-teacher conferences, they'd gush and gush about me, about how I was a "phenomenon". I think I was kinda striking as a kid, or so I hear. I did and said whatever I wanted, I was completely uninhibited, even bold sometimes. My mom tells me that when I was like two years old, I wouldn't mind anyone picking me up, I could even let a stranger do it, unlike other kids who preferred familiar faces. I was also hyperactive at some point, always overly excited, very talkative.

I don't know what went wrong, hahaha.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
87 Posts
I know exactly what you're talking about Ntuitive!! :)
I was always the crazy, outgoing, adventurous kid
while on the other hand, my sister's teacher in kindergarten had to bribe her into talking by throwing a "pizza party" if she did, she was beyond shy
Although I know I've always been an introvert because being with my friends would make me really tired and grumpy after too long and I would want to go home and be by myself
My sister ended up being a wild crazy extrovert :D
I started becoming more withdrawn during puberty, but that crazy kid is still part of me for sure
:cool:
Does anyone know why we become more introverted during adolescence (or extroverted in my sister's case)?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,947 Posts
Yeah, up to 7th grade I was more extroverted. Something--I'm not sure what--happened in adolescence that made me flip to being very reserved... except around those people I feel comfortable being myself with. And while I do have a number of those friends who I can be more outgoing with, the vast majority of people out there in the world do not make me feel comfortable, so I retreat from them. Even if I like them. And if I don't especially like them, I suppose their impression of me would be that I'm stuck up or unfriendly. I make no apologies for that. I have to take care of myself, even if there is in reality no threat to me at all.

As an adult, I have repeatedly pulled back from fully committing to something because of social anxiety. I have accomplished much, but an extrovert with my same interests could have gone much further. I am at peace with myself in this regard. No regrets. I'm still here doing my thing. That should be good enough.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,085 Posts
Something--I'm not sure what--happened in adolescence that made me flip to being very reserved... except around those people I feel comfortable being myself with. And while I do have a number of those friends who I can be more outgoing with, the vast majority of people out there in the world do not make me feel comfortable, so I retreat from them. Even if I like them. And if I don't especially like them, I suppose their impression of me would be that I'm stuck up or unfriendly. I make no apologies for that. I have to take care of myself, even if there is in reality no threat to me at all.
This is very much like me. I'm quite shy and closed-off around people I don't know and/or am uncomfortable with, and I've long gotten the impression that I can come off as very aloof. Around those I'm close to and entirely comfortable with, though... well, I can almost manage to be an extrovert at times, haha. I'd like to bring out that side of myself a little more...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
176 Posts
From what I remember, I was also a pretty active child, I remember so many cuts, scratches, stitches and faceplants. I also remember only having a couple people I really considered friends, sure I played with the other kids during recess. Of course now I'm a shy introvert, hooray for the double whammy that hinders me from interacting with people.

Does anyone know why we become more introverted during adolescence (or extroverted in my sister's case)?
Something I just thought of was that an introvert considers their their inner world safe, this perceived safety is projected onto the external world. It's just that later the external world proves itself not as safe as the inner world, so the introvert retreats into their inner world. For an extrovert, they don't find safety in their inner world so they project their perceived fear of their inner world onto the external world. Later they find that the external world is much safer than their inner world, so they act out in confidence in the external world. I have no idea how true this is, but it is based off descriptions, various anecdotes, and my personal experience.
 
1 - 20 of 29 Posts
Top