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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Do any of you relate to any of these?
Please say yes.

1. As I write, I am currently assigning meaning to the moth visiting my door for the third night in a row. I'm currently trying to decide if it is ominous or good.

2. The older I get the more difficult I find it to forgive anyone who betrays me, I find an instant loss of trust and although I feel pain for lost friendships- I am never sorry that I did what was necessary to move on.

3. I love learning about people but often feel like a recluse. I can only stand about 4 people for long amounts of time. Hating humanity and needing them at the same time. I crave my husband's attention more than I care to admit, I've never *needed* attention like his.

4. Being a person of integrity is incredibly important to me.

5. When I am angry I have a voice inside that tells me to calm down and not to be hateful but when someone flips my switch I'm ready to flip tables, grab the whip pull a Jesus.

6.I worry about the future constantly.

7. I detest people who don't appreciate my mind. I know I am intelligent but if someone tells me to dumb myself down or to "shush", it makes me madder than a fire hornet. Good conversation about things that matter are very stimulating to me. I hate the stereo-type that INFJs do not think past feelings.

8. I fear failure and disappointment or dying unsatisfied.

9. I am a fixer, I want to "fix" everyone.

10. I am always suspicious of people's intentions.

11. When I hear weird noises in the house I always think it's a ghost first.


Is something wrong with me?
I don't like many people. I just feel like I am constantly torn.I feel like it's ok not to like people. Isn't it?
I'm not unkind until I need to be (protecting someone, ect). My anxieties have anxieties. And then when I walk in nature and get dirt beneath my bare feet all of the stress fades and all I need is my pen. I constantly feel like I have so much about myself people are unaware of. As if I have different faces for different conversations. How do we adapt so fast to trying to relate to people?
Why do we care so much? And how are some of us so strong-willed yet soft? How do storms inside and a soft touch coexist?

Sometimes I baffle myself.
Maybe because I feel like I didn't make the points I wanted to or perhaps my brain is just torturing my heart.
Alas. Any comments?
What are your pet peeves about being an INFJ?
 

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1. Wut? No... I saved a spider from drowning in the shower a few months back, it disappeared for 2 weeks before I saw it again. I was just happy to see it, like an old friend. It disappeared for a few more weeks and then I found it under the monitor in my bedroom, significantly larger and somewhat creepier looking than before. Very weird looking spider, kind of hard to mistake it. I was more focused on the happy emotions of seeing a familiar face, and wondering what it had been up to during those absences.

Also, they're insects for crying out loud! Really puts my social life into perspective, hahaha.

2. Sounds normal, though I've always been that way.

3. I can't relate with the SO affirmation thing, although I do like to spend most of my time around someone I'm super close to. I can only handle social situations with 1 or 2 others, 3 tops.

4. Knowing myself (and others) is more important. Can't be true to myself if I'm blind to myself.

5. I have a very calm and non-confrontational nature; I occasionally experience an inner-rage, and feel the need to get away from everyone else's negativity that's triggering it. If the negativity is directed at me, and they're in my face and I can't get away, I'll become physically violent very quickly as a last resort.

6. Why worry about something so malleable and foreseeable? I'm more worried about doing stupid things in the present because I'm too future-oriented.

7. If someone tells me to dumb myself down, it makes me feel intellectually superior to them. I don't much care for small talk. I'm more peeved by people who don't know the difference between knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom, and who claim that they find "intelligence attractive" - like seriously, wtf? XD I'm pretty sure personality should be prioritized, seeing as how it encompasses all three. Also I tend to laugh 99% of the time, not get angry.

8. I just fear not being able to stick around and see how the future of the earth and humanity unfolds. If I were in a relationship, I'd fear my body shutting down against my will and leaving that person alone.

9. I like to understand everyone (can't fix what you don't understand). I like to fix people that I care about.

10. Give nobody the benefit of the doubt, they all want something from you.

11. I wonder where the sound came from, who/what are most likely to be situated in that room at that given time, and try to compare the sound to anything similar I might've heard before in order to draw a conclusion.



Honestly, I don't really have any peeves, I'm quite content. I could do with a little more initiative, but that's about it...
 
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Do any of you relate to any of these?
Please say yes.
I find you very interesting right now, @MaggieMay , because I cannot relate in the slightest way to a single one of your eleven listed quirks...

I realize this is not helpful to your concerns, but I wanted to let you know that I appreciate your thread's honesty, despite not being able to offer any advice.

:)
 
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First of all: i like how you put that "temper tantrums of the heart".
That's describing amazingly well what i go through once in a while.


Do any of you relate to any of these?
Please say yes.

1. As I write, I am currently assigning meaning to the moth visiting my door for the third night in a row. I'm currently trying to decide if it is ominous or good.
Nothing with moths. But i often find myself trying to find meaning in the weirdest things. So i can totally see this happening. We live in a world of symbols so why would a moth stubbornly coming back not possibly be one?


2. The older I get the more difficult I find it to forgive anyone who betrays me, I find an instant loss of trust and although I feel pain for lost friendships- I am never sorry that I did what was necessary to move on.
Those who betray me are gone from my life. i do not feel sorry for the either.
I don't think it's changing though - if anything i find that i have more patience with people now then 10 years ago. I try a lot more to see their point of view in general. But if they betray my trust, it's still bad.


3. I love learning about people but often feel like a recluse. I can only stand about 4 people for long amounts of time. Hating humanity and needing them at the same time. I crave my husband's attention more than I care to admit, I've never *needed* attention like his.
Yes, yes, yes. I read somewhere (i forgot where) that infj's have the wish to be much more social than they have the capacity to do so. That's very accurate. I need long stretches of alone time and most people bore me at one point or another. But from a very select few individuals i crave the attention so badly i can be quite ashamed of it.


4. Being a person of integrity is incredibly important to me.
This i don't have that badly. Integrity is important, but it would go out of the window in time of need without any hesitation. I have friends who put a lot more emphasis on it than me. So yes it's important but not incredibly important (to me at least).


5. When I am angry I have a voice inside that tells me to calm down and not to be hateful but when someone flips my switch I'm ready to flip tables, grab the whip pull a Jesus.

After much introspection, I have decided I have two types of angry: The (very) slow burner and the one that comes instantly but is over in a second. The first one i can typically calm myself, because it's a scary type of angry that can ruin relationships. The second is so instant i don't have a say. I don't flip tables but i have been told my eyes are very scary when that happens. It does happen less and less though.


6.I worry about the future constantly.
Amen.


7. I detest people who don't appreciate my mind. I know I am intelligent but if someone tells me to dumb myself down or to "shush", it makes me madder than a fire hornet. Good conversation about things that matter are very stimulating to me. I hate the stereo-type that INFJs do not think past feelings.
Yes, yes yes.


8. I fear failure and disappointment or dying unsatisfied.
On some kind of personal growth seminar thingie at work, they once asked us to think about "what we wanted to read on our gravestone". What a nightmare of an exercise! Still thinking about that now, i feel like crying because what i would love to read on there is nowhere near in reality.


9. I am a fixer, I want to "fix" everyone.
I try not to. But sometimes it is stronger than myself, I admit.


10. I am always suspicious of people's intentions.
Depends. It can be the opposite too. I tend to be too idealistic in humanity and think people have the best intentions so i'm probably not as suspicious as i should be.


11. When I hear weird noises in the house I always think it's a ghost first.
Not ghosts, but some kind of intruder yes.
And i can't go to sleep unless i've verified there is no-one there. Sigh.


Is something wrong with me?
I don't like many people. I just feel like I am constantly torn.I feel like it's ok not to like people. Isn't it?
I'm not unkind until I need to be (protecting someone, ect). My anxieties have anxieties. And then when I walk in nature and get dirt beneath my bare feet all of the stress fades and all I need is my pen. I constantly feel like I have so much about myself people are unaware of. As if I have different faces for different conversations. How do we adapt so fast to trying to relate to people?
Why do we care so much? And how are some of us so strong-willed yet soft? How do storms inside and a soft touch coexist?

Sometimes I baffle myself.
Maybe because I feel like I didn't make the points I wanted to or perhaps my brain is just torturing my heart.
Alas. Any comments?
What are your pet peeves about being an INFJ?

Nearly everything you put here rings true to me. I have different faces, and sometimes the only thing i want is for one person to 'get me'. All of it, including the "temper tantrums of the heart", which i tend to keep very hidden because they sometimes scare me too.
 

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Do any of you relate to any of these?
Please say yes.
LOL, not all, but even one is enough, isn't it?

1. As I write, I am currently assigning meaning to the moth visiting my door for the third night in a row. I'm currently trying to decide if it is ominous or good.
Hey, I talk to the stars, and right now I think I have Jupiter shining as bright as ever before so I share thoughts with it when I sit at the window in the dark. Quietly, so that people with "impaired" NF senses don't think I'm crazy.

2. The older I get the more difficult I find it to forgive anyone who betrays me, I find an instant loss of trust and although I feel pain for lost friendships- I am never sorry that I did what was necessary to move on.
Yes, I have just gone thought the worst part of my life yet, where everything got turned upside down because of a huge betrayal. I am fully aware I will not be able to forgive again, this has been more than I could normally forgive, but I have forgiven. It has been extremely consuming and sickening in a spiritual way. I have not really done a self diagnostic on my health for some time, I did not want to touch this subject because it weighs so heavily. I'm not ready for this, I'll leave it be for now, at some point I will check on the status.

3. I love learning about people but often feel like a recluse. I can only stand about 4 people for long amounts of time. Hating humanity and needing them at the same time. I crave my husband's attention more than I care to admit, I've never *needed* attention like his.
Really? Anything more than 2 is extremely painful for me. I cannot be comfy with huge crowds but 1 on 1 is very energizing. I love humanity, but hate individuals a lot, specific individuals, or specific types of people, not everybody.

4. Being a person of integrity is incredibly important to me.
This cannot be broken. This breaks me more than anything else could. I know that there are people that could not understand this overwhelming feeling of not being corrupted because they think only about themselves at any cost.

5. When I am angry I have a voice inside that tells me to calm down and not to be hateful but when someone flips my switch I'm ready to flip tables, grab the whip pull a Jesus.
I tend to be quite calm and quiet, but when shit hits the fan... you better bring a HAZMAT suit. I am very passionate about my fights and will stab the crap out of people (emotionally, not physical, of course). There are some things that I really hate and if someone does those things just that I go ballistic. ICBMs have nothing by comparison. :D
I an be disarmed easily if I see that the other person is genuinely sorry and that they didn't mean it. Otherwise find yourself a nuke bunker and a book for prayers. :p

6.I worry about the future constantly.
I worry about everything, not just the future. But the future is the most important thing in my life. Without a future I have no need for the present, I have nothing to do, no reason either.

7. I detest people who don't appreciate my mind. I know I am intelligent but if someone tells me to dumb myself down or to "shush", it makes me madder than a fire hornet. Good conversation about things that matter are very stimulating to me. I hate the stereo-type that INFJs do not think past feelings.
I don't detest people that can't appreciate. I actually have a low self appreciation of myself. I don't think I'm that special, which makes me frustrated when people can't bother to understand something simple or humble, but truthful and sympathetic, connected to nature and everything else (God, I must sound hippie right now, I can hear myself). As for people that can't speak NF, I feel sorry, they are missing such a huge part of humanity and arts, the connection with the stars, the secrets within... Yet I know it is not my fault, neither their fault they were formed this way. I think I am blessed to have this spiritual almost mystic connection with everything, and it's a shame I have not discovered a way to teach others of the non NF kind to get this connection too.

8. I fear failure and disappointment or dying unsatisfied.
Uncontrollably, you could say, overwhelming.

9. I am a fixer, I want to "fix" everyone.
I am a fixer, but I care for those that are either close to me, or those that want to be fixed. I care for those that care. The rest can go and live in denial.

10. I am always suspicious of people's intentions.
Always. They have to show that they are genuine in their feelings and actions. Because it is so easy to be mean but so hard to be good, I have to act like Overwatch over them and check silently (analyzing) if their actions and words match up. If mismatch is discovered, warning lights appear all over the damn panels, all defensive positions. Haha. My God, I sound so crazy. Don't worry people, I'm just dramatizing and making funniez.

11. When I hear weird noises in the house I always think it's a ghost first.
Umm... NO. I first think it's my cats.

Is something wrong with me?
I don't like many people. I just feel like I am constantly torn.I feel like it's ok not to like people. Isn't it?
I'm not unkind until I need to be (protecting someone, ect). My anxieties have anxieties. And then when I walk in nature and get dirt beneath my bare feet all of the stress fades and all I need is my pen. I constantly feel like I have so much about myself people are unaware of. As if I have different faces for different conversations. How do we adapt so fast to trying to relate to people?
Why do we care so much? And how are some of us so strong-willed yet soft? How do storms inside and a soft touch coexist?

Sometimes I baffle myself.
Maybe because I feel like I didn't make the points I wanted to or perhaps my brain is just torturing my heart.
Alas. Any comments?
What are your pet peeves about being an INFJ?
Poor soul. You seem like an unhealthy 6w5. I should know. I am one also. I always found that my SO is the only one that can fix stuff about me. How about your SO? Is he a NF? Can he try to help? Have you asked for help? Have you opened up to him or are you secretive?
 

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1. As I write, I am currently assigning meaning to the moth visiting my door for the third night in a row. I'm currently trying to decide if it is ominous or good.
can't think of any example at the moment but yes, I do this type of thing.

2. The older I get the more difficult I find it to forgive anyone who betrays me, I find an instant loss of trust and although I feel pain for lost friendships- I am never sorry that I did what was necessary to move on.
yes and no...I have much less time now than when I was younger so am more discriminating about whom I spend it on. someone who betrays me probably will be pretty low on that list. I recently let go of a close friendship for just this reason and I struggled with some guilt about it but also knew it was necessary, which helped mitigate the bad feelings. on the other hand, I have worked hard to be able to forgive more easily (or at least just let things go more easily and not brood over them so much) for the benefit of my own peace and well-being, NOT for the other person. :th_wink:

3. I love learning about people but often feel like a recluse. I can only stand about 4 people for long amounts of time. Hating humanity and needing them at the same time. I crave my husband's attention more than I care to admit, I've never *needed* attention like his.
yes. I consider myself a misanthrope. I don't hate people or wish ill on them but I don't relate to or feel a desire to be close with 95% of people I meet. at times (when I feel hurt by someone or misunderstood) I wish I didn't need anybody at all, but I know that's not realistic for me. even though I enjoy being alone and am happy in my own company I know I need people from time to time or else I get depressed and start to go batty.

4. Being a person of integrity is incredibly important to me.
yes!

5. When I am angry I have a voice inside that tells me to calm down and not to be hateful but when someone flips my switch I'm ready to flip tables, grab the whip pull a Jesus.
yes! mindfulness and meditation is really helpful for this kind of thing. teaches you how to just let the emotions rise and pass without getting too caught up in them.

6.I worry about the future constantly.
yes yes yes. see solution above. mindfulness, my friend!

7. I detest people who don't appreciate my mind. I know I am intelligent but if someone tells me to dumb myself down or to "shush", it makes me madder than a fire hornet. Good conversation about things that matter are very stimulating to me. I hate the stereo-type that INFJs do not think past feelings.
yes absolutely, and for a long time I had such a complex about this and was always out to prove people like this wrong. I think because I felt misjudged in this way frequently because I'm a quiet, softspoken woman, and because of that many people would be quick to label me a stupid ditz. kind of a good thing because it motivated me to work really hard and do well in school. now I have learned not to let it bother me so much if someone misunderstands me or underestimates my intelligence. I think it got to me so much before not because I cared so much about the other's opinion, but because I had self-esteem problems of my own I needed to work on. it bothered me because I didn't really believe in my own intelligence. now that I'm more confident and accepting of myself it doesn't get to me as much. maybe for a short time if I feel misjudged, but eventually I just tell myself that person doesn't know the whole me at all and move on.

8. I fear failure and disappointment or dying unsatisfied.
yes. I feel like I need to use my unique voice and point of view to create something of meaning that speaks to others like me. if I don't, I will feel like I have failed in a way.

9. I am a fixer, I want to "fix" everyone.
yes. but have worked really hard to let go of this habit and focus on improving myself instead.

10. I am always suspicious of people's intentions.
yes. my life motto is "everyone's guilty until proven innocent...and that almost never happens." lmao

11. When I hear weird noises in the house I always think it's a ghost first.
sometimes. I do believe in the paranormal and hold some pretty far-out beliefs despite considering myself a pretty logical, grounded person...

Is something wrong with me?
I don't like many people. I just feel like I am constantly torn.I feel like it's ok not to like people. Isn't it?


I have struggled with the same feelings sooo often. fluctuating between feeling like there's something wrong with me and then feeling like it's just a logical result of being immersed in a world where I'm so different from the norm my whole life. when I think of it that way and how difficult it's been, I actually feel like quite a strong person for having endured, not some fragile, quiet little thing like others may think! I don't think we should judge ourselves harshly for not being "people people" and liking everyone--that's just who we are to an extent--but we should still strive to have a close, positive connection with the few we do click with, and be sure we're not isolating too much to the point where we're becoming depressed, lonely, discontent...

and since @mystikro mentioned it, I happen to be a 6w5, and probably a fairly unhealthy one at that (haven't read enough about enneagram types yet to know fully what that means...) but I'm working on it! :laughing:
 

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1. As I write, I am currently assigning meaning to the moth visiting my door for the third night in a row. I'm currently trying to decide if it is ominous or good.
I do have a spider above a window that I call "spiderbro" that keeps the place mosquito free for me.

2. The older I get the more difficult I find it to forgive anyone who betrays me, I find an instant loss of trust and although I feel pain for lost friendships- I am never sorry that I did what was necessary to move on.
Although I'd say most INFJ's mourn the loss of a tie or relationship, I tend to have a "you're part of the plan or you're in the way of it" sort of view. As I got older and my needs became more refined, I'd say I'm more likely to write people off though.

3. I love learning about people but often feel like a recluse. I can only stand about 4 people for long amounts of time. Hating humanity and needing them at the same time. I crave my husband's attention more than I care to admit, I've never *needed* attention like his.
I find clingy and obsessive personalities truly captivating as there's a certain beauty in those who can be completely fixated on someone or something. Most other interactions don't really excite me and I can often set my brain to zombie mode and cruise through it.

4. Being a person of integrity is incredibly important to me.
"I am neither a hero, or a tyrant. I do what I feel is best, not what is right; it just so happens they sometimes overlap."

5. When I am angry I have a voice inside that tells me to calm down and not to be hateful but when someone flips my switch I'm ready to flip tables, grab the whip pull a Jesus.
Yup.

6.I worry about the future constantly.
I'm relatively confident, borderline arrogant, that no matter what comes my way I will figure it out.

7. I detest people who don't appreciate my mind. I know I am intelligent but if someone tells me to dumb myself down or to "shush", it makes me madder than a fire hornet. Good conversation about things that matter are very stimulating to me. I hate the stereo-type that INFJs do not think past feelings.
I'm a self empowerment type so I tend to avoid this thinking because then it gives them power over me while I subsequently hold little to no power over them.

8. I fear failure and disappointment or dying unsatisfied.
There's a saying

"I never lose I either win or I learn."
As someone who's right more often than I'm wrong, I actually find excitement in failure.

9. I am a fixer, I want to "fix" everyone.
For a period of time, but now I'm specialized in certain types of fixes and leave the rest to others.

10. I am always suspicious of people's intentions.
I'd say curious rather than suspicious as I rarely find people particularly threatening. Maybe to some degree I wish they were.

11. When I hear weird noises in the house I always think it's a ghost first.
Burglar first THEN ghosts :D.

[HR][/HR]

General thoughts, like I said earlier I'm a self empowerment type and I often encourage people to be the truest form of themselves, no matter what that may be. I often think you need to shed elements of guilt or shame as they are often based on outside faiths or social norms which encompass unattainable ideals that are out of reach. Most people wear a mask with a smile painted on it, but lots are miserable.

[HR][/HR]

What are your pet peeves about being an INFJ?
 
 
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thank you so much everyone for your input!! Truly.
I haven't been on for awhile since life has kept my head rushing with thoughts but not slowed down enough to let me shoot the breeze on here.

I am an 6w5 but I know I do think I am unhealthy at times. That is one of things I am trying to improve upon, so that my anxiety or my secret spinning fears will cease and sleep for the time being. It is so odd how you can grow in a mere few months.

Your posts made me laugh and made me reflect. I love how even through reading this thread I have a clearer piece of mind and I am grateful for all the advice and self-analysis. <3

Also, thank you @Ik3 for stopping by and letting me know. Fascination is a tender thing.
@Clearmoon maybe in another reality somewhere? ;)

Thanks again guys for the input!
 

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I can relate to 2, first half of 3 (up to "needing attention), 4, 5, 7, 9 and partly 6 and 10.

Fe can be problematic. It can both make us want to be with people and want to avoid them (to avoid oversensitivity and hurt). I often think how it would be nice to socialize more, but when an opportunity arises, I often feel, "well... not just now, or not with those people. Maybe some other time".
 
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