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I have a hard time accepting criticism, I take things personally that shouldn't be.


I think one thing that is REALLY annoying is that since I see the good in everyone I befriend people and try to change them. When they don't change, I complain about it to my other friends, say I'm never speaking to so-and-so again, and then an hour later everything is fine with the person and I forget why I was mad until the next time it happens and then the cycle starts again.

Is than an ENFP thing or am I just nuts?
 

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... is this for non-ENFPS too? Because I have been wanting to vent about some ENFPs I know for like, weeks now

I know these aren't true in all cases but...

usually, ENFPs tend to give me this vibe of, "I can do whatever I want and nobody's gonna get mad at me because I'm special!" And they manage to convince a lot of people that it's true, too. ENFPs can be just as fickle and manipulative as an ENTP or ESTP, the only difference is that if somebody actually does get upset with them (heaven forbid) an ENFP can just make their eyes big and watery and say that they're so, so, sawwy and everything's all better. A lot of people find that to be part of your charm, but I just find it sort of... frustrating, and not okay.

I don't like the way ENFPs tend to compliment and overexaggerate a lot, it feels manipulative and fake, and it usually gets to a point where I wish they would just shut up. There's a female ENFP I know who is really guilty of this, she will tell me stuff like, "I like everything about you!" and whole variety of other really over-the-top things every time she sees me, and I don't take any of it worth a grain of salt. She's one of those girls who tells an average of maybe like 40-50 people that she loves them every day. Because she compliments people so excessively, none of it actually means anything. It's just a whole lot of brown-nosing. Brown-nosing is annoying.

I don't like that your primary mode of communicating with the opposite sex is flirting, especially since you usually don't mean it. From what I've seen, most ENFPs are constantly leading people on, and what's worse is they don't see a problem with it. I know that some cases are more extreme others, but basically, that really doesn't sit well with me. I don't think people should be acting like that unless they're taking the idea of being in a relationship with the other person seriously. What may seem just "fun" to you could come at the expense of a lot unnecessary frustration and disappoint for the other person.

The constant self-congratulating, the game-playing, the flightiness.

That's what I find annoying about most ENFPs.
 

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Subterranean Homesick Alien
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Cool, I just want you to know, if we compliment you, we mean it...
It's hard to explain...it's like...being completely fascinated with a person. And no, we don't lead people on on purpose, it's sometimes hard to tell...
 

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Subterranean Homesick Alien
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Scary? Ok, that's subjective, but you can't say that anyone's fake...I'm just saying. I would hate for my behavior(IRL) to be perceived in that way...because I would never do that in a fake way. And if it was true, I'd admit it, but I don't think any of them are being fake, really...
 

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I don't like the way ENFPs tend to compliment and overexaggerate a lot, it feels manipulative and fake, and it usually gets to a point where I wish they would just shut up. There's a female ENFP I know who is really guilty of this, she will tell me stuff like, "I like everything about you!" and whole variety of other really over-the-top things every time she sees me, and I don't take any of it worth a grain of salt. She's one of those girls who tells an average of maybe like 40-50 people that she loves them every day. Because she compliments people so excessively, none of it actually means anything. It's just a whole lot of brown-nosing. Brown-nosing is annoying.
I am the last person, on this earth, to brown nose. Especially in work environments. I think you're making a hugely bad assumption here:

Because she compliments people so excessively, none of it actually means anything.
Wrong. Dead wrong. So very wrong. It means something to us immensely and we mean every word we say. Yes, an ENFP "gone bad" can use these power to manipulate and can be fake, but most of us would never dream of it unless you killed our mother and spit on her grave. The fact that we feel so very much includes guilt. You're an INFP... you should know this. I'm sorry, but it sounds like you're bitter about something or someone here.
I don't like that your primary mode of communicating with the opposite sex is flirting, especially since you usually don't mean it. From what I've seen, most ENFPs are constantly leading people on, and what's worse is they don't see a problem with it. I know that some cases are more extreme others, but basically, that really doesn't sit well with me. I don't think people should be acting like that unless they're taking the idea of being in a relationship with the other person seriously. What may seem just "fun" to you could come at the expense of a lot unnecessary frustration and disappoint for the other person.
Again, your problem, not ours. Granted, over the years I've learned to make others aware, in a variety of ways, that I'm being more playful than sincere with flirting. That being said, we're still sincere in our praise when flirting and interest in the other person. Sexual overtones simply come naturally to us.

This just reeks of some ENFP chick stealing your boy-toy/interest, an ENFP you read too much into, or at some point in time or hurting a good friend at least. None of it is credible in the slightest.

Edit: Yes, you stepped on a core value of mine. This is when ENFPs become INTJs and pick you apart.
 

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Subterranean Homesick Alien
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Honestly though, I'd be fine with it if I didn't see that assumption as false...but I don't want this to erupt, and I'm sure no one does...so it's fine if you were just venting. But I do want to say that when I do those things, it's one of the least fake things. I assume it's the same for other ENFPs...
 

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There's a female ENFP I know who is really guilty of this, she will tell me stuff like, "I like everything about you!" and whole variety of other really over-the-top things every time she sees me, and I don't take any of it worth a grain of salt. She's one of those girls who tells an average of maybe like 40-50 people that she loves them every day. Because she compliments people so excessively, none of it actually means anything.
Honestly, nothing but red flags here. What could possibly make you think she doesn't mean any of it? That none of it has meaning? Is it really, REALLY that difficult to believe? That someone could love so unconditionally? That she truly feels each and every compliment is worth giving? I am honestly wondering what it is inside you~, that could make you feel this way about someone else.

You may not like this aspect of someone, call it excessive... maybe even annoying, yes... as you originally meant in this thread.

...but never call it meaningless.

When I hug someone firmly, it's to motivate them to hug me harder. That's the extent of my manipulation. I'm not perfect. <3
 

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Subterranean Homesick Alien
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Yeah, but the phrasing should have put more emphasis on how annoying it was, not on his perception of it's fake-ness. That would have been fine with me xD

You know what I've noticed? ENFPs are pretty scary when we're mad...I think it's the combination of Ne, Fi, and Te haha
 

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Scary? Ok, that's subjective, but you can't say that anyone's fake...I'm just saying. I would hate for my behavior(IRL) to be perceived in that way...because I would never do that in a fake way. And if it was true, I'd admit it, but I don't think any of them are being fake, really...
The way I see it, fakeness and emotional manipulation go hand in hand, and like I said before, ENFPs can be manipulative. Maybe you have a different concept of what it is to be fake.

You're an INFP... you should know this.
I'm an INFJ.


Again, your problem, not ours. Granted, over the years I've learned to make others aware, in a variety of ways, that I'm being more playful than sincere with flirting. That being said, we're still sincere in our praise when flirting and interest in the other person. Sexual overtones simply come naturally to us.

This just reeks of some ENFP chick stealing your boy-toy/interest, an ENFP you read too much into, or at some point in time or hurting a good friend at least. None of it is credible in the slightest.


Edit: Yes, you stepped on a core value of mine. This is when ENFPs become INTJs and pick you apart.
Dude... this is a thread for what people find annoying about ENFPs. I sort of have to wonder why, if you were going to take it all so personally, you even looked. I'm sorry that I made you so mad but it's not like I was attacking you, and I think I said a few times that I know not all ENFPs are bad. I was just being honest... It's true that I had a pretty bad experience with an ENFP recently, but this was all stuff I felt even before I met that ENFP. Most of this has come just from me watching ENFPs interact with other people. I'm only giving you guys a point of view on your behavior that's different from your own. I wish you hadn't automatically devalued what I had to say as completely false and unjustified just because you think you're so different.
 

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Two things irk me about ENFPs (from the ones I have seen...please don't get upset at people who vent in this thread. You came here knowing broad, possibly false generalizations would be made...this happens in every one of these kinds of threads. Don't click on them in the first place if you could anticipate a problem! Anyways...):

1. They tend to act pretty ditzy around the opposite sex, especially female ENFPs.

2. They tend to be overly defensive and get frustrated over comments made with good intention, especially male ENFPs (But I should not be one to point this flaw out, considering how defensive I can be :tongue:).
 

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Subterranean Homesick Alien
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The way I see it, fakeness and emotional manipulativeness go hand in hand, and like I said before, ENFPs can be manipulative. Maybe you have a different concept of what it is to be fake.
The point is that the behavior you hilighted is NOT FAKE! Yes, it is annoying, I can see that...but fake? How would you know that? I can say, from an ENFP, that is not fake. As I said before, it's probably one of the most real things you will get.
I've never engaged in manipulation myself...that I can remember...so no comment.


Dude... this is a thread for what people find annoying about ENFPs. I sort of have to wonder why, if you were going to take it all so personally, you even looked. I'm sorry that I made you so mad but it's not like I was attacking you, and I think I said a few times that I know not all ENFPs are bad. I was just being honest... It's true that I had a pretty bad experience with an ENFP recently, but this was all stuff I felt even before I met that ENFP. Most of this has come just from me watching ENFPs interact with other people. I'm only giving you guys a point of view on your behavior that's different from your own. I wish you hadn't automatically devalued what I had to say as completely false and unjustified just because you think you're so different.
What we're taking personally is that you're calling that behavior 'fake', not that you're calling it annoying...

Someone can't be fake on accident...that's not giving someone a different view. You're either fake, or you're not, but no one can tell you you're being fake. I'm giving you a different view on that behavior, because sometimes your perceptions of things are not correct. I'm saying that as an ENFP, if I ever do those things, it isn't fake...Maybe annoying, but not fake.
 

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1. They tend to act pretty ditzy around the opposite sex, especially female ENFPs.

2. They tend to be overly defensive and get frustrated over comments made with good intention, especially male ENFPs (But I should not be one to point this flaw out, considering how defensive I can be :tongue:).
1. LOL That's totally me. It's terrible because if I can get past the first ten seconds I'm usually quite adorable.

2. YOU TAKE THAT BACK! :mad:

<3 Juz' kidding.
 
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