Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 51 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
490 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I'm just curious as to how you would "define" or at least recognize an outgoing introvert or a shy extrovert.
They almost seem like the same same thing..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
120 Posts
It can be hard to tell. Introvert/extrovert division is not based on how well or how often someone socializes. Rather, it is whether or not someone is invigorated by socialization. An outgoing introvert may appear to be an extrovert, but he will have to be alone after a while to recharge.

I am an introvert, but I trained myself to be very outgoing and personable. However, I still get tired of socializing, and need to be alone enough.

Does that make sense?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
490 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
That does make sense. The only thing is that some people drain my energy really fast while others can actually energize me for a while. Eventually I do need my quiet time eventually though. Its a tad confusing.
 

·
Subterranean Homesick Alien
Joined
·
11,928 Posts
Cognitive functions people...cognitive functions.
That's the best way tot ell, IMO. Some people still have some confusion with determining their dominant functions, though. I just think it's a better method.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
836 Posts
Cognitive functions people...cognitive functions.
That's the best way tot ell, IMO. Some people still have some confusion with determining their dominant functions, though. I just think it's a better method.
easier said.

there are a couple that tend to look similar in real time. Ne can appear to be Se - both are completely random. and some people have high functions due to socialization (Fe in females is a good example). i dunno, i feel like i know lot about the cognitive functions and it is still difficult/impossible to type everyone that way.

as far as outgoing introverts... i would take this to mean an introvert who is not very shy, and very skilled at interacting with others. maybe even loud. but reaches 'burn out' with people quicker. and does not seek out people on their free time. ie, not everyone can go to a party on friday night, a bridal shower on saturday afternoon, and a party on saturday night. only a pretty strong extravert would be up for that.

the opposite for shy extraverts. they love being with people and get energized. but can be shy around people they like... or just put up some sort of social barrier. not everyone is an open book. they like people but can be guarded at times.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
431 Posts
I consider myself outgoing, but I'm an introvert. I'm pretty sure of it. I got real good social skills, can make a friend easily, not embarassed by being the center of attention, large groups don't intimidate me, but damn is it all so tiring. It's kinda like being around people is a sort of social work-out... my mind starts to "sweat" and I get mentally exhausted and just want to lock myself in an empty room for awhile; while talking seems more of a task and not at all enjoyable as my energy runs out.

Probably the only way to know for sure if someone is a shy extrovert or a outgoing introvert is to be around them for a prolonged period of time and see how they react. An introvert would reach a peak and then start to dwindle, while the extrovert would probably remain consistent or even start to show more and more energy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,678 Posts
A shy extrovert would be energized around people but more contained/reserved and more susceptible to being socially awkward (at least in their minds, they would be).
A very good description of me.

I get bored by myself in long doses. Sometimes I prefer the quiet but it really does little to energize me. The more time I'm alone, the more I feel I need to be alone. It's kind of like exercise. You get more energy the more you do it.

However, when I sometimes *force* myself to be among people, I feel energized and refreshed and can usually focus better afterward.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,447 Posts
It's all about how people feel after extended socialization.

Extroverts = Feel more energized after a long time of socialization.
Introverts = Feel drained after a long time of socialization.

They can both spend time alone and spend time with people without any problems... But, introverts go home and the extroverts stay late at nights, still being gregarious and energized by the people around them. :cool:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,517 Posts
That does make sense. The only thing is that some people drain my energy really fast while others can actually energize me for a while. Eventually I do need my quiet time eventually though. Its a tad confusing.
Thought I'd add this: some people drain my energy alright, not everyone gives me energy. Negative people, people into drama, and those who insist on telling me about their abuses or tragic histories and expect me to listen to it all, I just can't take it. I feel utterly drained afterward. Yet another reason I recently thought I was more like an intravert.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,447 Posts
Thought I'd add this: some people drain my energy alright, not everyone gives me energy. Negative people, people into drama, and those who insist on telling me about their abuses or tragic histories and expect me to listen to it all, I just can't take it. I feel utterly drained afterward. Yet another reason I recently thought I was more like an intravert.
EVERYBODY would feel drained if you're spending time with such negative folks. :sad:

I know I'm an introvert because, after some hours of socialization, I feel drained and extremely tired versus a day spent alone.
I know I'm an introvert because, despite how friendly/talkative I am online, you'd be surprised how quiet I am in real life.
I know I'm an introvert because never in a million years would I start initiating conversations with strangers in real life.
Because I pay and leave without having a conversation with the cashier.
Because when the phone rings and it's a stranger, I feel frustrated because abnormal socialization tax my reserves.
Because I'm terrified of groups.
Because I'm not a natural leader.
Because I spend time alone in my room about 75-80% of the day.
Because my parents thought I had aspergers because I'm not a social nut like my Extroverted brother. :crazy:
Because I love solitary walks.
Because people have been frustrated at me before for being "too quiet" whenever I chill with people.

So there you go, that's who I really am in real life. :proud:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
490 Posts
Discussion Starter #13
I know I'm an introvert because, after some hours of socialization, I feel drained and extremely tired versus a day spent alone. Me too generally

I know I'm an introvert because, despite how friendly/talkative I am online, you'd be surprised how quiet I am in real life. I can be talkative, but only with people i click with, even if i dont know them that well. I actually really like talking friendly, nonjudgemental extraverts

I know I'm an introvert because never in a million years would I start initiating conversations with strangers in real life. I have learned to iniate conversations with strangers but then I have a hard time actually holding the conversation that I just started :p

Because I pay and leave without having a conversation with the cashier. I smile and sometimes say how are you

Because when the phone rings and it's a stranger, I feel frustrated because abnormal socialization tax my reserves. I usually dont answer numbers I don't know.

Because I'm terrified of groups. I cant function in groups larger than 5 for some reason. Once there are 6 people, somehow i instantly become invisible.

Because I'm not a natural leader. Sometimes I end up taking charge of class projects and assignments, but I think its because I'm a sensor, and I like to make sure our projects have a clear direction. Also, sometimes just being yourself makes you a leader. It makes people feel comfortable being who they are too.

Because I spend time alone in my room about 75-80% of the day. Me too generally

Because my parents thought I had aspergers because I'm not a social nut like my Extroverted brother. :crazy: Dont feel bad. My mom wanted to put me on match.com when i was 19

Because I love solitary walks. Me too.]

Because people have been frustrated at me before for being "too quiet" whenever I chill with people. Not all people are like that. Usually only annoying people. Nice people (including extraverts) wont call you "too quiet"

So there you go, that's who I really am in real life. :proud:

Read the blue parts.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,993 Posts
At times, I see myself as an outgoing introvert.

I can use my people skills when I feel like it.

I get more energy from the meanings, patterns I discover from social interaction rather than gaining from excessive social energy itself (if it makes sense X_x).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
911 Posts
It can be hard to tell. Introvert/extrovert division is not based on how well or how often someone socializes. Rather, it is whether or not someone is invigorated by socialization. An outgoing introvert may appear to be an extrovert, but he will have to be alone after a while to recharge.

I am an introvert, but I trained myself to be very outgoing and personable. However, I still get tired of socializing, and need to be alone enough.

Does that make sense?
What he said.
I have recently forced myself to become more outgoing since I had to socialise, I needed to have some fun. At I can't say it didn't help. Now I'll gladly go out but I still feel worn out after a night out. Still, I tend to avoid large crowds/groups of people. I'm my best when I'm around 4-5 others, preferably in a bit quieter environment where we can talk over a drink or two... or three. I guess the method of socialisation is what differs in extroverts and introverts - the former will talk to a lot of people and be active and so on, while you'll be hard pressed to find sober introverts that are grinding on the dancefloor like crazy, at least I think. :laughing:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
180 Posts
Shy extraverts and outgoing introverts may be alike in some aspects, but differ greatly on others.

Shy extraverts will feel down if they spend too much alone time. For example, you have a day out with nobody to talk to. The shy extravert will grow restless or atleast not feel at ease. And thats only 1 day there. The extravert needs social interaction every day (or nearly every day) to feel comfortable and content. The introvert can deal with prolongued times with no social interaction without those side effects - provided they have some way to entertain themselves with. This is also true for outgoing introverts. Social interaction is optional for them. Of course, extremely prolongued times with no social contact are harmful to either extraverts and introverts. Extraverts simply have a much lower treshold for this.
Now, the real keyword for the shy extravert is "shy". They seek out social interaction, but do not necessarily have to do the talking or even engage people actively. Simply being around people is sufficient for them. Going to a party and mostly interacting with friends only, or even just watching people would be fine for them. The introvert would feel uncomfortable and/or feel like they're wasting their time. They'd rather be somewhere else.

Associating leadership or being assertive with extraversion is not quite right either. The outgoing introvert can be much more assertive & dominant than the shy extravert in social interaction. Pair those two together, you will have an introvert doing most of the talking and an extravert mostly listening. The extravert could do that for all eternity (discounting the need for sleep, nutrition, toilet etc :tongue: ). The introvert will most likely try to come to an end, esspecially if they're talking to several people.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
490 Posts
Discussion Starter #17
hmm.. What about a person that needs daily socialization in order to feel happy, but also needs breaks from the socialization to recharge? I like daily interaction with people and sometimes it does energize me. The problem starts when there is too much interaction without enough downtime.

Also, the number and type of people make a difference too. For example, one of my roomates from college and I used to spend a looooot of time together just chillin' in our room. Because she was low key I could spend all day with her. With my other roomate, though, she was so energetic that after an hour I was spent.

I like to think of it like a video game. When you start your game you have "full health". As you play the game over time you might get shot or blown up and lose some health. Then you might find a secret potion or something that restores some of the health that you lost. You probably won't keep full health throughout the entire game, but if you lose all your health you'll get a game over. So you have to keep in it check. (hopefully this makes sense to someone other than just myself)

So maybe an outgoing introvert is someone who has learned how to balance out the depletion/restoration of their energy so that they can maintain a seemingly extraverted social life?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
740 Posts
Well, it's not that black and white. It depends also on the people who you hang out with! I mean even if you were an outgoing not-shy extrovert and you went out with a group of guys that you don't like much or in a place that you don't like, you probably would prefer stay at home on your own. So it depends also on the situations you're living, on many aspects! It's hard to generalize...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,416 Posts
It can be hard to tell. Introvert/extrovert division is not based on how well or how often someone socializes. Rather, it is whether or not someone is invigorated by socialization. An outgoing introvert may appear to be an extrovert, but he will have to be alone after a while to recharge.

I am an introvert, but I trained myself to be very outgoing and personable. However, I still get tired of socializing, and need to be alone enough.

Does that make sense?
I agree with what was said above. Being "shy" has nothing to do with being an introvert. I see that people often mistake introversion for being shy, when that is not at all the case. Being an introvert doesn't make you necessarily quiet either, it simply has to do with how you disperse your energy, and what wears you out socially.

If I did have to chose however by you listed in the OP, I'd say that I, personally, am more of the outgoing type of introvert I suppose? I'm not afraid to talk to people if I need to, and I'm not afraid to speak up and voice my opinion on a matter either, I'm quite outspoken in that regard. I do not get easily embarrassed either, if that at all answers your question?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,480 Posts
I would say i'm a fairly outgoing introvert.I'm really not that good at socialising.I can start a conversation,but i'm not that good at holding it.It takes me a while to get used to people and i often tend to take myself away from the situation when i get too uncomfortable.But when i'm with people i am comfortable with and especially if i happen to be drinking,i can be very social and extroverted.
 
1 - 20 of 51 Posts
Top