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For me, as a 6w7-4w3-1w9 So/Sx, are the fowling:

1. Apologize: I have strong revenge instincts. I am aware that I have a dark, grotesque, evil, even almost as killer instinct, side and I am very comfortable with it. My online friends keep saying that that is ''wrong'' and that I should learn to apologize. But the truth is I do have a strong revenge instinct. It's almost animal. If you take me an eye I will take your eye as well. Sometimes I hold grudges. And what is more fascinating is that my revenge plans always go 200% better than what is planned. I think this is related to me being a reactive core.

2. Patience: God damn I really must learn this. :laughing: I am the least patience person in the world... and ADHD doesn't help. This is more connected to my wing 7 of the enneagram, which is an ID type and for sure they want things done right here and right now.


3. Getting out of my bubble and stop being co-dependent: This is very phobic 6 and very INFJ, but I do tend to look for an outside validation of my insights and my ideas. I am misunderstood about 99% of the time. Also I started to become dependent on certain people and that makes me feel uncomfortable. I want to be the independent, bright, genial Mandreque that I was once, without relying on others opinions. I also need to get out of my inner bubble more... I am too detached from physical reality and I look like a total alien to the world. So I need to become more ''extroverted'' and less shy.


4. Stop being hypochondriac: I think this has to do with the fact that I am sp last... sometimes people over compensate their last instinct.


5. Stop indulging in unhealthy habits.

Now, what is the lesson you need to accomplish in this life?
 

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1 a good rum and soda is worth 1000 words
2 humor is in the eye of the beholder
3 if a good woman is giving herself to you appreciate her
4 there is more truth and life in chaos than in a rational, reasoned, obedient, order
 

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I need to truly realize, not just understand, that the world is something I can manipulate. I am more than an observer and "philosopher," for lack of a better word.
 

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I need to realize the truths of the world for me personally.

I need to realize that I really don't matter. That's actually the opposite of what I should learn according to Enneagram but right now it just feels like something I need to learn. I need to learn that there are so many other people than me and the best thing I can do here is give everything I have to others. That's the only way I'll be happy, not by constantly making myself feel good. What is that crap.

I need to learn I will never, ever know everything.

I need to learn balance.

I need to learn true kindness.

I need to learn how to love others completely again.

I need to learn to let go of hate and bitterness and resentment.

I need to learn that I will never have learned enough, and I need to learn how to be healthy so I can learn while being healthy.

This is rambley. But I think, just off the top of my head, these are some things I should learn.
 
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I need to learn what conditions are needed for me to enjoy life.

I need to learn how to find or create those conditions.

I need to learn how to interact with people in a way that I actually enjoy.
 

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Most of the lessons I've really needed revolve around inactivity and self esteem

Self esteem issues drive me to not feel being active is worthwhile for me( so I take no chances) and to fuck up relationships with people
Then I just have a natural tendency to not be active, forceful, driven enough, like I'm just stuck in my thoughts, in my feelings, in my little world, in various fantasies
 

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Highly relevant.

These are things I've been thinking over for the last few days, weeks, months, years. I've come to these conclusions. They're not enneagram-related, though it's easy to read enneagram into my responses. Some are MBTI-related, however.

I'll spoiler it because it's long and highly personal:

 
- Making friends and opening up.
I used to be great at this, but withdrew under peer torment in grade school. I've never really been able to get my innate friendliness back, since I expect rejection and abuse for doing so. Possibly one of the worst things that's ever happened to me. It's led to isolation and an overall miserable life.

My paucity of social skills would also be classed under this.


- It's ok to have sexuality.
See, I was made fun of for my appearance, no one wanted to go out with me, my parents--who were so open about teaching me the scientific wonders of the origins of life and "exploring" yourself--suddenly went cold hard prude on me about when I turned 12. So, it just became really ingrown. Even now, even after resolving a lot of issues, I feel like "that's not something I'm supposed to know about". It's embarrassing how most 14 year olds have more sexual experience than I do and just makes it all the harder to work out. And makes me feel like a dud. So, overcoming this is going to be a bitch, and I'm pretty sure it's what will destroy me, ultimately.


- You can ask for help and invite others along.
This is actually something to learn. Probably THE main lesson. Every time I am in a situation, it doesn't even OCCUR to me to ask for help. I've just always taken care of things by myself. Doesn't even make sense. I can do it better, quicker. Someone else will just mess things up. Likewise, I go everywhere alone because I assume no one would be interested in doing whatever lame activity I'm going to do, and my personality isn't exactly an incentive.

So, I've carried on this way for so long that it literally doesn't even cross my mind to involve others. And I wonder why I missed out on everything, and why I am always so alone.


- Finish what you start.
Cause I'm an ENTP. I never finish any project, because something better comes to take its place. (I just bought another art project this afternoon, which i am guaranteed not to finish, just like I didn't finish the other 3 I still have in my closet.) I think I'm getting better, actually, but I had to be out of my adolescence.

I also have issues trying new things "in life". It's like...just pick something you're good at and run with it, dumbo.


- Think before making big decisions.
So basically, I've got this incredibly stupid way of deciding things--inspiration. Something looks great, so I go do it. This has included moving to other countries, changes in career, etc. And I wound up as an abysmal failure with MAJOR psychiatric issues by age 30, and unfortunately, I see no way out of it. Would be useful not to get carried away by vision and emotion and impulse and actually THINK about what I am about to do.


- This won't turn out like you think it will.
Things never live up to expectations. The best case scenario is impossible to realize. It won't be all roses and sunshine. Why are you acting like it will? Didn't you learn from last time?


- Stop showing your emotions.
I don't think of myself as being "emotional", but I get over dramatic similar to how every Ti > Fe user does. And God. It's embarrassing. Just chill the fuck out.


- Getting old is OK.
Because I totally don't think it is and I'm terrified. I was even as a teenager. Aging is like the worst idea God ever had.
 

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Even stupid people deserve their own opinion.
 
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