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Lotus Jester
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Is self-destructive behaviour and depression common effects? Anyone know?
 

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Out of experience I can at least say that depression is. I think the self-destructive behaviour comes with the depression when it gets severe enough.
 

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I notice I develop panic disorder. Or I have panic disorder regardless, but it gets onset when I have been around a lot of volatile emotional abuse. By principle I don't tend to like to engage emotional abuse, regardless of where it surfaces. Anyways removed I can recognize by the end of my marriage I was having so many physical panic attacks. Thought I was going to have a seizure or heart attack. It started to be so bad the smallest environmental relation unrelated would onset it. I guess likely because my body was physically holding onto all this stress.

I actually have recognized I have a pattern for then doing reckless self indulgent behavior to blow off steam. It was at its worst 5 years ago. Anyways when I left the toxic relationship my panic attacks stopped. My wild or reckless behavior spiked for a good year and a half. Until I really withdrew and started to reflect on myself. I started to really slowly discern what was positive and what was negative.

This last summer I was allowed a toxic person to stay in my home and I had started to date a guy who had subtle disparaging remarks. Between the two hitting a head I recognized the same physical symtoms and had my first physical panic attack in 5 years. I actually checked myself back in therapy because I did not want to regress from so much progress I had made. I am thankful I was able to spot these symptoms of stress. I removed those people from my life. And am addressing the things which came to resurface.

Actually proud of myself because I did not indulge my natural coping tendency to go and self medicate with frivolous activity. Sounds silly to people who don't cope that way. But yeah this is the first time I was able to identify what was happening and actually stop myself from my usual coping tendencies. But yes I absolutely think if someone has anxiety they can have coping mechanisms which include self destruction to help soothe them temporary. Honestly it's a lot harder for me to cope the responsible way consciously. Would be way easier to go pick up a stranger and play a game of stranger danger Russian roulette.
 

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Lotus Jester
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Discussion Starter #4
Out of experience I can at least say that depression is. I think the self-destructive behaviour comes with the depression when it gets severe enough.
I've been experiencing this recently. I've been emotionally brutalized by people I trusted and it has turned me into an emotional wreck, pretty much. I honestly can't remember when I've experienced this much pain.
 

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Lotus Jester
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Discussion Starter #5
I notice I develop panic disorder. Or I have panic disorder regardless, but it gets onset when I have been around a lot of volatile emotional abuse. By principle I don't tend to like to engage emotional abuse, regardless of where it surfaces. Anyways removed I can recognize by the end of my marriage I was having so many physical panic attacks. Thought I was going to have a seizure or heart attack. It started to be so bad the smallest environmental relation unrelated would onset it. I guess likely because my body was physically holding onto all this stress.

I actually have recognized I have a pattern for then doing reckless self indulgent behavior to blow off steam. It was at its worst 5 years ago. Anyways when I left the toxic relationship my panic attacks stopped. My wild or reckless behavior spiked for a good year and a half. Until I really withdrew and started to reflect on myself. I started to really slowly discern what was positive and what was negative.

This last summer I was allowed a toxic person to stay in my home and I had started to date a guy who had subtle disparaging remarks. Between the two hitting a head I recognized the same physical symtoms and had my first physical panic attack in 5 years. I actually checked myself back in therapy because I did not want to regress from so much progress I had made. I am thankful I was able to spot these symptoms of stress. I removed those people from my life. And am addressing the things which came to resurface.

Actually proud of myself because I did not indulge my natural coping tendency to go and self medicate with frivolous activity. Sounds silly to people who don't cope that way. But yeah this is the first time I was able to identify what was happening and actually stop myself from my usual coping tendencies. But yes I absolutely think if someone has anxiety they can have coping mechanisms which include self destruction to help soothe them temporary. Honestly it's a lot harder for me to cope the responsible way consciously. Would be way easier to go pick up a stranger and play a game of stranger danger Russian roulette.
Yeah, panic attacks are the absolute worst and I've been having them intermittently for the past few nights. I've been getting drunk, having sudden crying jags, making bad decisions because I can't think straight. I've also suffered from digestive disturbances as well. It's like I'm in some kind of state of shock or something. I went through this a lot in my childhood. Every time my mother would do something to hurt me; I would go though this. Sometimes, I even intentionally ran into traffic; fortunately for me, I never got hit, because it was on a side street and I've recently been extremely triggered and am now re-experiencing all of this.
 
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Yeah, panic attacks are the absolute worst and I've been having them intermittently for the past few nights. I've been getting drunk, having sudden crying jags, making bad decisions because I can't think straight. I've also suffered from digestive disturbances as well. It's like I'm in some kind of state of shock or something. I went through this a lot in my childhood. Every time my mother would do something to hurt me; I would go though this. Sometimes, I even intentionally ran into traffic; fortunately for me, I never got hit, because it was on a side street and I've recently been extremely triggered and am now re-experiencing all of this.
I think it's okay to actually process your grief and cry and have some self pity to soothe and get some of that out. (I wish I could cry more, really I do). I am curious though if you have something very specific that is an active outlet you can just get lost in? For me that is rollerblading & dancing. It's not that it fixes the problem itself and just immediately takes grief away. But it helps relieve some of that internal stress big time. It also is distracting from more self abusive or destructive behavior. Do you have something like that? Maybe a pottery class if that's more your speed, just something though you can get lost in on your own while physically getting some of that out.

I recently started doing 10 minute breathing exercises for now I just started with guided breathing meditation for 10 minutes because it's not a lot or too heavy. Let me just say I HATE being that still and it's super fucking hard for me. But our breathing has a huge impact on our stress levels etc and we can reduce quite a lot just with minimal breathing exercise alone.

Granted I am more on the heavier aerobics or endurance spectrum of physical exercise I see benefit to light meditation. I have some NFJs who are close to me in life in their case I actually have encouraged (when asked) that they stop listening to whimsical sad depressive music (they all do) that shit can't be good for morale. Not saying they need to listen to fight music regularly (that can also be toxic and promote internal anger) but I have in their cases encouraged them to listen to fight music to wake out of their melancholy and get some of that inner crouching tigger hidden dragon channeled and employed. I am opposite where I can get too much fight and not enough soothing that's why in my case I am trying to force myself to incorporate more soothing. But I think some NFJs actually need less soothing to get out of melancholy and more fight music. Just a random thought.

It's not that you can't cry it out and have a girls night in binge eating ice cream and chocolate. But then I suggest doing something with endurance and fight music to counter act melancholy.


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PstrAfoMKlc
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7wtfhZwyrcc
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2cXDgFwE13g
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p-lAWZBHHgw
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=L78yVFeyvRo
 

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I'd say depression and a really low self esteem. That's what happened when I was younger, anyways. Self esteem is a lot better and I'm confident in who I am. I hold myself to high expectations though, and I have to stop being such a perfectionist. I still struggle with depression occasionally.
 

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Lotus Jester
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Discussion Starter #8
I'd say depression and a really low self esteem. That's what happened when I was younger, anyways. Self esteem is a lot better and I'm confident in who I am. I hold myself to high expectations though, and I have to stop being such a perfectionist. I still struggle with depression occasionally.
Yes, I've struggled a lot with that too and it either tends to get re-enforced with highly critical people or I rebel and do the exact opposite of it, often to my own detriment.
 
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Yes, I've struggled a lot with that too and it either tends to get re-enforced with highly critical people or I rebel and do the exact opposite of it, often to my own detriment.
I self destruct as well, but when I'm tired of depression. It's mostly because I'm a 7w8 sx. I'll throw myself into dangerous situations, entertainment, excesses. But it's just me trying to rebel against my mind and run away from my thoughts. When my depression is really bad, I keep myself from eating or force myself to stay awake. While throwing myself into entertainment. Gasoline by Halsey comes into mind.

That's no good though! I refuse to drown in it, so I seek help, take natural supplements, do self care, and find a healthy outlet for those emotions. Easier said than done, but I always start feeling better sooner. Even if it's really painful at first.
 

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Depression and irritability usually. Depression can be combined with self-destruction in cases when we deal with people who damage our self esteem, so we end up blaming ourselves for everything and take full responsibility, or when our self-image is highly damaged, so we reflect or mirror other people's dissatisfaction with us. It can be both conscious and subconscious, sneaky. In addition to that, dissatisfaction can manifest through high irritability in time.
Therapy can help when we can't rationalize our behavior and its causes. It will include digging out what we have burried and reassessing everything, and that's hard and painful, but necessary.
 
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