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What would you hate/find it hard to tolerate from a partner in a relationship?
They lie. Distrust leads to a lot of bad things, and overall lessens our respect of the person. Forgiveness for something like is something hard taught as the mistake will just happen again if your other didn't learn a lessen from their mistake. The thoughts come to mind "Were they being honest about being sorry for lieing?". lol. Ya, don't lie.
 

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Dishonesty.:frustrating:
Either that or betrayal. When a friend or a lover stabs you in the back it's nearly impossible to repair the damage with us. I think some of our innermost core values are honesty and loyalty, and is why we hurt so badly when someone close throws us under the bus, or screws us over. That's why we are so stoic and only open up to others after a really long time.
 

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Stereotypical behavior urks me. So if she were to make glaring and sweeping generalizations on certain issues, it would annoy the crap outta me.
 

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Stereotypical behavior urks me. So if she were to make glaring and sweeping generalizations on certain issues, it would annoy the crap outta me.
Only reason I make generalizations about things is to keep my point sweet and simple, but someone has to try to pull me into all of the nitty gritty details and complicate the subject, as though I'm not aware of the complexity. Now I put "to keep it simple" or something to that effect before it to keep it simple.
 

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Only reason I make generalizations about things is to keep my point sweet and simple, but someone has to try to pull me into all of the nitty gritty details and complicate the subject, as though I'm not aware of the complexity. Now I put "to keep it simple" or something to that effect before it to keep it simple.
Yep I hear you. I'm similar in this regard, so perhaps I should have been more specific. When I said "sweeping generalizations" I was referring more to judging people unfairly(racism/ another means of demeaning) or something to that effect and not necessarily main "societal" issues.

Apparently I can make "sweeping" generalizations too. I guess its an ISTJ thing.

:crazy:
 
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I've got nothing new or inspiring to add. Dishonesty and betrayal rank right up there with getting sucked into an endless black hole.
 

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Poor personal hygiene, being disorganised (such that it affects me), not pulling their weight around the house (including not cleaning up after themselves), and of course lack of integrity. These are all my deal breakers that come to mind.
 

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Integrity is a biggie. Lose my trust and you don't get it back. Ever. I may act like everything is alright but I won't ever trust you again.

I won't accept a smoker (I don't want to die from second-hand smoke and I don't want the person I love to die from cancer either), criminal (e.g. illegal drug user), alcoholic (or even people who get drunk) or a gambler (I'd like to keep my money in frugal hands thank you very much).

I would be friends with a smoker, alcoholic and gambler but I wouldn't be in a serious relationship with them.

Oh and definitely not a guy with hairy legs (joke) :crazy:
 

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I won't accept a smoker (I don't want to die from second-hand smoke and I don't want the person I love to die from cancer either), criminal (e.g. illegal drug user), alcoholic (or even people who get drunk) or a gambler (I'd like to keep my money in frugal hands thank you very much).

I would be friends with a smoker, alcoholic and gambler but I wouldn't be in a serious relationship with them.
Just curious, Elysia, but have you ever tried any of the above?

When I was younger:

I swore I would NEVER smoke (I ended up smoking a pack a day for 2 years)
I swore I would NEVER do illegal drugs (I'll occasionally dabble with Marijuana. I don't consider myself a criminal.)
I swore I would NEVER drink (Alcohol is a large part of my social life now)

As far as gambling goes, I consider it to be an occasional recreational activity that is healthy, as long as you budget $X for it, and can afford to spend said $X for recreation. Anything beyond that is a problem.

I'm curious because I shared many of the same thoughts you have on this matter, 5-6 years ago, but since experiencing them first hand, I don't really care (as long as the person is responsible)...
 

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Of course not. That's why I can be naive and idealistic :happy:

I would never smoke or do illegal drugs. Will I ever get drunk? Maybe. I'd prefer not to. The thought of losing control over myself is scary. Would I ever gamble? Maybe a small amount randomly but I'd prefer not to just in case I do get addicted to it (in terms of my 'no gamblers' rule, it's more for people who have a problem with it, though I'd really prefer no gambling or just random 'one-off' situations e.g. holiday).

My mantra is, if you don't want to risk getting addicted to something, then don't do it. Which is what applies to my 'no getting drunk' rule. I don't do it because I'm afraid that if I did get drunk and I liked it I would continue to do it. So it's just easier to not do it at all.
 

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Of course not. That's why I can be naive and idealistic :happy:

I would never smoke or do illegal drugs. Will I ever get drunk? Maybe. I'd prefer not to. The thought of losing control over myself is scary. Would I ever gamble? Maybe a small amount randomly but I'd prefer not to just in case I do get addicted to it (in terms of my 'no gamblers' rule, it's more for people who have a problem with it, though I'd really prefer no gambling or just random 'one-off' situations e.g. holiday).

My mantra is, if you don't want to risk getting addicted to something, then don't do it. Which is what applies to my 'no getting drunk' rule. I don't do it because I'm afraid that if I did get drunk and I liked it I would continue to do it. So it's just easier to not do it at all.
My mantra is "never say never". And when I'm feeling particularly adventurous, "I'll try anything twice." My mother used to smoke, and made me and my brothers swear that we would never smoke. We all agreed. Both of my brothers have taken up smoking since. I think it also depends on whether you have an addictive personality - some people can even smoke socially without developing an addiction.
 

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My mantra is "never say never". And when I'm feeling particularly adventurous, "I'll try anything twice." My mother used to smoke, and made me and my brothers swear that we would never smoke. We all agreed. Both of my brothers have taken up smoking since. I think it also depends on whether you have an addictive personality - some people can even smoke socially without developing an addiction.
I would never smoke because it would damage my health, even if I only smoked one puff, it would still have done damage to my body. My health comes pretty close to the top of my priority list (immediate family is at the top).

I don't know if I have an addictive personality, and I don't particularly want to know.

*Back on topic* Another thing not acceptable for me would be if they were a negative sort of person e.g. always criticising / being mean (whether to others or myself). I would hate having to witness that every day.
 

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I find it hard to date someone who is not punctual. It's very frustrating for me.
I also cannot be with someone who is too clingy / demanding of my time, or someone who craves constant approval and praise. They're out there, believe me!
 
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