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Looking for some real life signs you've noticed when you're in a healthy state, which you think is related to being a 3 - what are your experiences?
 

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As an 3w2 Sx, I just recently break (in the process of breaking) the pattern of serial monogamy. I think it means I'm inching to healthier state, since a romantic audience influence my identity in a large way (which in the process, it's a bit like.. not knowing when to stop the show. How to be not 'on'. This is a problem when your 'stage persona' is in some way not entirely you/at all).

To be cliched, I need to find/know myself first. What the real person really want.
 

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As an 3w2 Sx, I just recently break (in the process of breaking) the pattern of serial monogamy. I think it means I'm inching to healthier state, since a romantic audience influence my identity in a large way (which in the process, it's a bit like.. not knowing when to stop the show. How to be not 'on'. This is a problem when your 'stage persona' is in some way not entirely you/at all).

To be cliched, I need to find/know myself first. What the real person really want.
I'm in the process of trying to 'let go' of a past romantic attraction. Thing is.... It ended months ago. Trying to let go of the 'I'll show you, I'll be more powerful/ successful/ wealthy than you'll ever be, and you'll regret it" compulsion for vindication.

It doesn't help that three of my exes did attempt to come crawling back. Funny, I never really wanted them back.. I just wanted to be the one to do the rejecting.

Not healthy, but breakups trigger a surge of productivity and increased drive like none other. Kind of a catch-22...
 
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I'm in the process of trying to 'let go' of a past romantic attraction. Thing is.... It ended months ago. Trying to let go of the 'I'll show you, I'll be more powerful/ successful/ wealthy than you'll ever be, and you'll regret it" compulsion for vindication.

It doesn't help that three of my exes did attempt to come crawling back. Funny, I never really wanted them back.. I just wanted to be the one to do the rejecting.

Not healthy, but breakups trigger a surge of productivity and increased drive like none other. Kind of a catch-22...
One of my favourite sayings is 'the best revenge is living well'
 

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One of my favourite sayings is 'the best revenge is living well'
See that's the thing-- as aforementioned, ends of the vindication ilk aren't healthy. Those ends being: I want you crawling back... Just so I can push you away. But in order to make that happen, I'm going to be the best, do the best, push the hardest, and go the furthest in order to elevate myself to 'I'll show you' status. The means in this case, justify the ends.

What usually ends up happening: I better myself, and in the process forget about the resentment. Then later on, said object of resentment comes back; I'm completely over them; and have moved on.

So, I guess, I'm not all convinced that any of that is necessarily unhealthy...
 

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Not having to be loved/liked/well-thought-of by everyone. Being able to be yourself and accept that not everyone is going to 'get' you.

It doesn't mean you can't be success driven or status driven...it just means you can put yourself out there and take any subsequent rejection.
 

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Not having to be loved/liked/well-thought-of by everyone. Being able to be yourself and accept that not everyone is going to 'get' you.

It doesn't mean you can't be success driven or status driven...it just means you can put yourself out there and take any subsequent rejection.
This!
 
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