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Things that bother me:
- He takes hard efforts for granted. I will invest a lot of patience, focus and time into something and he will just put it off like it was nothing. I find this very demotivating. Lack of Fe.
- Can be quite judgmental and demanding.
- Reports about his activities in great detail, which I find boring.
- Won't believe my input until I present evidence.
- Sometimes wants to take on projects I can tell won't work out in advance but he won't believe me until he sees evidence.


Things I like:
- He ist very calm and reliable. Unlike f. ex. ESTPs or ENFPs who can quickly break off friendships, he is like a rock. I don't have to worry that he will suddenly change his mind.
- His work ethic is inspiring.
- He is responsible. I don't have to fear that he is trying to use or trick me.
- He doesn't use drugs or act erratically/ impulsively.


What are your experiences with ISTJs?
 

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The two ISTJs in my family are even more distant, introverted and non-communicative than I am as an INFJ. They are dismissive and critical of anything resembling intuitive thought, and they get triggered when I speak in metaphors. Black and white thinkers. Our mutual acquaintances refer to them as judgmental assholes. We discuss only the shallowest of topics, like kitties and puppy dogs, because they are easily angered by anything they see as irrational, which is pretty much everything normal people are concerned with. Difficult people, but I love them anyway. They've both had hard lives, and I doubt that most healthy ISTJs are this way.
 

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I find that they tend to be stubborn, overconfident in their knowledge, and obsess over details to the point where I cannot have debate with them, but that's probably the conflict between their Si hero and my Si PoLR. They're definitely not a type I get along with well.
 

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ENFP-A - 2w3 - JEEP
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My mother is an ISTJ and I love her.

These could be my perspective on her:

Pros:
1. Never has lied to me, she is my home and my rock.
2. Will always be there for me, I've never met a more dependable person.
3. I'm surprised she never murdered me or my sister when we were teens.
4. Things I said to her in anger as a teen, would have probably broken me if I ever heard my child say it.
5. Not impulsive and plans trips that can be pretty fun and amazing.
6. Will defend you till she bleeds, if I was ever in trouble.
7. Fair, she will always call it like it is and has no problem presented with facts to lean a different way.
8. When I look back she was a very loving mother, it just took us years to see eye to eye.

Cons:
1. Hard to get her to engage in theoretical talk.
2. A set of her own rules to be an adult, deviation from that is wrong. A mathematical impossibility.
3. Lacks imagination.
4. She can be blunt and if not very cutting with her words.
5. If her plans don't go off perfectly, it will lead to anger, those blunt words come more often but now savage.
6. If she noticed she never expressed to me until I was much older how far I've come and how proud she is.
7. Praises are far and few between. You have to earn it.
8. You have to provide evidence for every story
9. Being emotional or fast-talking might only activate her annoyance card.
 

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Having dated an ISFJ/ISTJ, they are both pretty consistent. They both had certain values and morals I could respect. They were always true to their word. Their word is their bond.

That's one thing I admired in ISXJs I've met IRL. You can really rely on them. And as long as there's a certain level of respect, it's quite nice to know there are some good, kind, reliable people out there.

Edit-Perhaps, you can give him a chance. SJs, are great as partners, because they're always there in a way that you can admire like you said- their work ethics, which says a lot. However, conversations may be a little dead. You can always compensate that with friends. Compared to dating say another NF, you feel like you're constantly on cloud 9. It's easier when two people understand each other.
 
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