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Discussion Starter #1
What are your favorite descriptions for type four, for wings, instincts, etc. Which ones fit you the best? Which ones do you hate the most, seem the most inaccurate?
 

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That's actually an interesting subject, since I always see people finding some descriptions more accurate than others and some descriptions even quite off. It baffles me everytime since I could identify with any source, both in the most negative light and the positive. It makes me wonder how the components of our tritype, instincts and mbti affect the identification.

I remember that I really liked these pages:
https://sites.google.com/site/upatel8/personalitytype4
Typewatch Enneagram: Typewatch Enneagram Type Descriptions
 

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I like most 4 descriptions, as long as they don't over-emphasize the "drama queen" aspect, which I don't relate to. I know some 4s may be that way, but I generally avoid interpersonal drama. I'm more of the sullen, withdrawn 4 variety.

I like the two descriptions the poster above linked a lot. The chapter on 4s in the Everything Enneagram Book was the one which helped me solidiy myself as a 4, as initially I was considering 5 too.

You can read most of it on google books:
The Everything Enneagram Book: Identify Your Type, Gain Insight Into Your ... - John Waters, Susan Reynolds, Ronna Phifer-Ritchie - Google Books

I would love to read Naranjo's book, as the bit I've heard about it & what it says about 4s seems very interesting (and accurate), but I haven't had the money to buy it & my local library doesn't have it.
 

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Well, I don't either like the whole "drama queen" aspect, but most of them are pretty good.

I think that some of the Three and Seven descriptions are pretty bad. They make them sound quite superficial. My BFF is an ANTJ (maybe a little bit more to the E) 3w4 and she is anything but shallow!
 
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@Arienette, funny that you mentioned the upatel one because that's what I was reading when I decided to start the thread. I really love that description. It also has my favorite sexual variant description which I relate to word for word.

I like how both the upatel and typewatch description emphasize the ideal self which fours believe to be the 'real' them vs the, uh, real them, and how not living up to the ideal self triggers shame, envy, and self-hatred. I think this is a chief, core characteristic of four which cannot be emphasized enough. Also, the typewatch wing descriptions are excellent.

@OrangeAppled, I've read character and neurosis and I would recommend reading it, for sure. The one negative (and it's a big one) I think is how centered it is in pathology. Personally, I have a tendency to see myself as flawed and messed up, so reading a book where the whole premise is that I am flawed and messed up and the only way to improve is to transcend my personality, I don't know. It doesn't exactly improve my self-image, let's just say. That's what I like about The Positive Enneagram, although I will admit that maybe it's a little too positive, and I really dislike the four wing descriptions in it, they are overly simplistic and straight up inaccurate. I think the upatel description gives a relatively well-rounded presentation, which I prefer.

I read the everything enneagram book awhile ago. I remember it was written by a 4w5 which I thought was cool. I'll have to check it out again.
 

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@cutedeadgal, I agree most three descriptions suck. Most seem to think that all threes base their achievement standards on what the whole society perceives as successful, when it really depends on the three. The typewatch description seems to have pretty much nailed it. I can see my type three husband in every word. (minus the paragraph which they follow with 'most threes aren't like that, however')
 

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"Individual" fits me best. I spent much of my youth struggling to conform. Often scolded & beaten (the dad) for being different & being painfully aware & ashamed of it. Tried to think "inside the box" because I lived outside the box. Now I think nothing of it. I don't fit the expected social template for a reason & I don't need to know what it is anymore, I let that go. I'm sure some other type 4's feel as though they wandered off course & in the course of making their own path, in time became the compass. But drama; actually I'm fairly even tempered. If I'm feeling "drama" it's internal & I'm dealing with it myself. Learned habit I guess.
 
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