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"Eat this!" ~Corporal Dwayne Hicks (Michael Biehn), Aliens (1986)

"Swallow this!" ~Ash Williams (Bruce Campbell), Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)

"Twelve milkmen is theoretically possible. Thirteen is silly." ~Ortiz the Dog Boy (Keanu Reeves), Freaked (1993)
 

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This scene is filled with some great quotes.


"Listen to me Kemp. You're not asleep, you're wide awake... and this is the American Dream."
"So many hotels you can't see the sea."
"You can see the sea by checking into the hotels."
"Pay to see the sea?"
"What's the matter with that? You're paying to be in the dream."
 

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3 great scenes from a fantastic movie filmed in Baltimore, Maryland "...and justice for all":

Gail Packer - So, is Jay letting his hair grow back or is he keeping it shaved?
Arthur Kirkland - He shaves it everyday.
Gail Packer - Oh?
Arthur Kirkland - Carries around a battery operated razor, running it over his head all day long.
Gail Packer - Jesus, sounds pretty bad. He's not alright, is he?
Arthur Kirkland - He's alright. He'll be alright.
Gail Packer - You know Arthur, the committee is considering calling him in. Don't look at me like that. His clients are complaining, he's postponing his court dates, he's shaved his head, he's got problems.
Arthur Kirkland - Look, look, look he's alright. He's alright, do you know what this whole thing comes down to don't you?
Gail Packer - What?
Arthur Kirkland - Everyday defense lawyers are out there, protecting guilty people and getting them off and they're not affected by it.
Gail Packer - That's right.
Arthur Kirkland - Not supposed to affect them. Difference is that Jay was affected by it, you see? He was hurt by it. He was injured by it.
Gail Packer - I understand that Arthur. That is not the point.
Arthur Kirkland - Isn't it ironic that the one lawyer, the only lawyer who felt something should be brought up before your ethics committee?
Gail Packer - Alright Arthur, will you please stop making yourself out to being the only sensitive person around here? I know, I know Jay was hurting, I know that! That's not the point. The point is he is not functioning properly because of it.
Arthur Kirkland - He's alright. He just needs a little time that's all. I've taken over most of his court cases, he's, he's putting his emphasis on contracts now. Lay off him, ok?
Gail Packer - It's not up to me Arthur. I'm just trying to let you know...
Arthur Kirkland - Oh...I just love how the hierarchy works. I mean, you're going after guys like Jay or whoever and nobody is doing anything about Judge Rayford, who happens to be a suicidal maniac.
Gail Packer - Rayford?
Arthur Kirkland - Rayford. The man is bent on killing himself, it's no secret. A court bailiff found him in his chambers trying to hang himself once. You know where he spends his lunch every day?
Gail Packer - No.
Arthur Kirkland - Outside his window on the ledge, four stories high. Now this is a man who is making value decisions on people's lives every day.
Gail Packer - Wait a minute! No wait, his personal behavior is not effecting his work.
Arthur Kirkland - Oh. You know that for sure. Oh.
Gail Packer - Yes, I worked with him! He's an excellent judge.
Arthur Kirkland - And Jays an excellent lawyer!
Gail Packer - I know! He was an excellent lawyer. That's not the point. The point is his problems are affecting his ability to serve his clients, and that's why the committee wants to see him. (sighs) Oh God.
Arthur Kirkland - You know there are times when I'm not too sure I like you. I mean we are so opposite. How we feel about things Gail.
Gail Packer - Yeah.
Arthur Kirkland - Maybe that's good.
Gail Packer - That's perfect. Right?
Arthur Kirkland - Right.
Gail Packer - As long as we just keep a little friction between us there's no problems.

****

Warren Fresnell - What are ya crazy? Arthur! Damn you! Back off Arthur! Dammit! Watch out for the car! Arthur knock it off for crying out loud! What are you nuts?
Arthur Kirkland - (slamming car with briefcase) GET OUT!!!
Warren Fresnell - For Christ sakes, stop it Arthur!
Arthur Kirkland -GET OUT!
Warren Fresnell - Back off and I'll get out. What the hell is wrong with you? What do you think you're doing to my car?
Arthur Kirkland - Tell me about it. You tell me about Agge. Come on Warren, tell me about it.
Warren Fresnell - It got by me.
Arthur Kirkland - It got by you? It got by you? (starts kicking car again)
Warren Fresnell - Jesus! Now listen, just stay away from the car!
Arthur Kirkland - Agge did not have to go to jail! Do you understand? He did not have to go to jail!
Warren Fresnell - He gets out on probation in 10 months. Listen, that's not all my fault! You don't want those penny-ante bullshit cases, I was doing you a favor!
Arthur Kirkland - A favor? What kind of favor?
Warren Fresnell - It's nickel and dime Arthur. It's all nickel and dime.
Arthur Kirkland - Don't you care, Warren? Don't you even care?
Warren Fresnell - If you care so much why weren't you in the courtroom? You're god damn right I care...but not about them.
Arthur Kirkland - They're people Warren, you know? They're people, they're just people.
Warren Fresnell - If he's not in jail this week, he'll be in jail next week. Oh goddammit you know probations....just appeal it!
Arthur Kirkland - I can't appeal it he's dead! He's DEAD! Half hour after they put him in the lockup he hanged himself! Goddammit!!
Warren Fresnell - I'm sorry!
Arthur Kirkland - Goddammit!!
Warren Fresnell - No..I'm sorry...
Arthur Kirkland - Goddammit!!

**

Judge Rayford - The prosecutor has completed his opening statement. Defense counsel ready?
Arthur Kirkland - Yes your honor. Your honor, Mr. foreman, ladies and gentlemen of the jury my name is Arthur Kirkland and I am the defense counsel for the defendant Judge Henry T. Fleming. Now that man over there, he's the prosecuting attorney. And he couldn't be happier today. He is a happy man today because today he is going after a judge. And if he gets him, if he gets him, he's gonna be a star. He's gonna have his name in this months Law Review, centerfold. Lawyer of the month. Now in order to win this case, he needs you, naturally. And you're all he's got, believe me. So he's counting on tapping that emotion in you which says let's get somebody in power. Let's get a judge. However these proceedings are not about that. These proceedings are here to see that justice is done. And justice is as any reasonable person will tell you, is the finding of the truth. And what is the truth today? One truth, a tragic one, is that that girl has been beaten and raped. Another truth is that the prosecution doesn't have a witness. Does not have one piece of substantiating evidence other than the testimony of the victim herself. Another truth is that my client, voluntarily and the prosecution is aware of this fact, voluntarily took a lie detector test...
Frank Bowers - Objection your honor! That's inadmissible evidence! Come on Arthur...
Arthur Kirkland - ...told the truth.
Judge Rayford - The jury will disregard that remark. Polygraph tests have not been proven 100% reliable therefore inadmissible in a court of law.
Arthur Kirkland - Sorry your honor. Let's get back to justice. What is justice? What is the intention of justice? The intention of justice is to see that the guilty people are proven guilty and that the innocent are freed. Simple isn't? Only it's not that simple. However, it is the defense counselor's duty to protect the rights of the individual as it is the prosecution's duty to uphold and defend the laws of the state. Justice for all. Only we have a problem here. Do you know what it is? Both sides wanna win. We wanna win. We wanna win regardless of the truth, and we wanna win regardless of justice, regardless of who's guilty or innocent. Winning....is everything. That man there wants to win so badly today, means so much to him, he is so carried away with the prospect of winning, the idea of it, that he forgot something that's absolutely essential to today's proceedings. He forgot his case. He forgot to bring it. I don't know, I don't see it, do you? The prosecution's case, he's gotta have one. Not a witness, not one piece of substantiating evidence other than the testimony of the victim herself. Ladies and gentleman of the jury, I have a case to end all cases. I have witnesses for my client, I have character references, testimonials that are backed up from here to Washington, D.C. I got lie detector tests that are...
Frank Bowers - Objection! Objection!
Arthur Kirkland - Sit down.
Judge Rayford - Mr. Kirkland you are out of order!
Arthur Kirkland - The one thing that bothered me, the one thing that stayed in my mind and I couldn't get rid of it, that haunted me, was why? Why would she lie? What was her motive for lying? If my client is innocent, then she's lying. Why? Was it blackmail? No. Was it jealousy? No. Yesterday I found out why. She doesn't have a motive. You know why? Because she's not lying. And ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the prosecution is not gonna get that man today. No, because I'm gonna get him. My CLIENT, THE HONORABLE HENRY T. FLEMING SHOULD GO RIGHT TO FUCKING JAIL! THE SON OF A BITCH IS GUILTY! THAT MAN IS GUILTY! THAT MAN IS GUILTY!
Judge Rayford - Mr. Kirkland!
Frank Bowers - Arthur!
Arthur Kirkland - That man there....that man there is a SLIME! If he's allowed to go free then something REALLY wrong is going on here.
Judge Rayford - Mr. Kirkland! You are out of order!
Arthur Kirkland - YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER!! YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER!! THE WHOLE TRIAL IS OUT OF ORDER!! They're out of order! That man! That sick, crazy, depraved man raped and beat that woman there and he'd like to do it again, he told me so. It's just a show! It's just a show! Let's make a deal...let's make a deal! Hey Frank, you wanna make a deal? I have an insane judge who likes to beat the shit outta women. What do you want to give me Frank? Three weeks probation? You son of a bitch! You're supposed to stand for something. You're supposed to protect people! But instead, you're a fucking murderer! You killed McCullaugh, you killed him! Hold it! Hold it! I've have just completed my opening statement!
 

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"NUMB NUTS!" ~John Hunton (Ted Levine), The Mangler (1995)
 
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