What can I do for not caring 'bout other's opinion.
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Hey, I'm new in this forum, so this is my first thread.
I know people judge.
I know that a lot of people will say one's doing it bad, despite of the way you do it.
I know I don't have to give a **** 'bout other's opinion, but the problem is that I haven't "interiorized" it. I mean, I haven't been able to attach that conviction to my mind.
There have been some situations this last months, that have made me think: "I've had enough, I can't be depending on other's opinion all my life, that's pointless".
So I ask, What can I do for not caring 'bout other people's opinion, how can i be able to "attach" that conviction to my mind?
I know people judge.
I know that a lot of people will say one's doing it bad, despite of the way you do it.
I know I don't have to give a **** 'bout other's opinion, but the problem is that I haven't "interiorized" it. I mean, I haven't been able to attach that conviction to my mind.
There have been some situations this last months, that have made me think: "I've had enough, I can't be depending on other's opinion all my life, that's pointless".
So I ask, What can I do for not caring 'bout other people's opinion, how can i be able to "attach" that conviction to my mind?
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Just because you care about someone's opinion doesn't mean you have to let their opinion change you.
Why should anyone care about your opinion if you don't care about their's?
Why should anyone care about your opinion if you don't care about their's?
I find that it just comes naturally to me. If you find yourself having to win the approval of others to gain piece of mind, there is a strong possibility that you are Fe dominant, or at least operate with it as your auxiliary function. I think(generally) INTPs don't really care about how others view them, and will do/say/think whatever they feel like without a second thought about what people think of them.
If I were you I'd look more thoroughly at the different cognitive functions and figure out what your dominant and auxiliary functions are, I think you may be surprised to find that you are not in fact an INTP at all.
If I were you I'd look more thoroughly at the different cognitive functions and figure out what your dominant and auxiliary functions are, I think you may be surprised to find that you are not in fact an INTP at all.
Or its possible that its explainable through his enneagram. I tend to care about what others think of me despite being INTP because I am 6w7.
I'm a 5 w 4... I've read that fours really care 'bout other's opinion, but I'm not really familiarized with it.
I have doubted between INFP and INTP, but I've taken MBTI test millions of times (because I wanted to be sure I wasn't cheating unconsciously) and I always got INTP, only once i got INFP.
It also could be because of my background, I mean, look Ingmar Bergman, I've read he was an INT*, but because of his father he was always in touch with shame.
I have doubted between INFP and INTP, but I've taken MBTI test millions of times (because I wanted to be sure I wasn't cheating unconsciously) and I always got INTP, only once i got INFP.
It also could be because of my background, I mean, look Ingmar Bergman, I've read he was an INT*, but because of his father he was always in touch with shame.
I can promise you, every ABCD type who says "I don't care what others think" is lying. That's because it's not a bad thing to care what others think about you, in a general sense, and it's very natural. The NT stereotypes are self-perpetrating, but the truth is it's because we're a bunch of arrogant ass holes who largely think others' opinions are lesser. (See all that stereotyping?)
Everyone has these feelings. From an MBTI perspective, the Fe in us can go crazy (subconsciously) if we are around others we care about (even in this forum for instance), and that's just natural.
There is, of course, a time and place to say "I don't care what you think about me," but trust me that's a lot more rare than we NTs usually make it out to be. (I find INTJs hilarious regarding this phenomenon, but us INTPs aren't usually any better.) The bottom line is, you're just restricting yourself by trying to be what you are not. Let yourself feel those feelings, and then analyze them from there. Don't let stereotypes of "I'm bad ass because I don't care" sway you at all.
Instead of trying to attach the "I don't care" conviction to your mind, try to attach a "I wonder why I feel this way right now" mentality, and simply try to figure out the why. Try to embrace your Fe, not reject it and pretend it doesn't exist.
Everyone has these feelings. From an MBTI perspective, the Fe in us can go crazy (subconsciously) if we are around others we care about (even in this forum for instance), and that's just natural.
There is, of course, a time and place to say "I don't care what you think about me," but trust me that's a lot more rare than we NTs usually make it out to be. (I find INTJs hilarious regarding this phenomenon, but us INTPs aren't usually any better.) The bottom line is, you're just restricting yourself by trying to be what you are not. Let yourself feel those feelings, and then analyze them from there. Don't let stereotypes of "I'm bad ass because I don't care" sway you at all.
Instead of trying to attach the "I don't care" conviction to your mind, try to attach a "I wonder why I feel this way right now" mentality, and simply try to figure out the why. Try to embrace your Fe, not reject it and pretend it doesn't exist.
You there, climb the mountain and let it be heard all across the world!
Non-believers may lynch you, though! Then however, should one care or move on in acceptance as one has done all that was in his powers to show them the way? Whichever you choose, will it not portray a "I don't care"-attitude outward for others to perceive, regardless of your intentions?
Cruel fate indeedily!
Non-believers may lynch you, though! Then however, should one care or move on in acceptance as one has done all that was in his powers to show them the way? Whichever you choose, will it not portray a "I don't care"-attitude outward for others to perceive, regardless of your intentions?
Cruel fate indeedily!
Yeah, I see your point, I mean, we all are humans and we all grow up with a different background, in a different place, with many distintal influences. One can be a "cold" INTJ, but if one's exposed to "non-intj stuff", one will not behave as people will expect from an INTJ.
I was particularly exposed to my schoolmates laughter during all my childhood, and since I changed several times from school, and that laughter didn't change, I began to think "Well if everybody in different enviroments make fun of me there must be something wrong with me", see my point?
But I know this isn't my core personality, because, for example, in classes I rised my hand for giving my opinion on things and I didn't feel ashamed, I felt proud of expressing my ideas. It is like in practical stuff like "what music you like?" I feel ashame of saying it, but in things like "What you think bout that politician?" I defend my opinion to tooth and nail.
It's weird
I was particularly exposed to my schoolmates laughter during all my childhood, and since I changed several times from school, and that laughter didn't change, I began to think "Well if everybody in different enviroments make fun of me there must be something wrong with me", see my point?
But I know this isn't my core personality, because, for example, in classes I rised my hand for giving my opinion on things and I didn't feel ashamed, I felt proud of expressing my ideas. It is like in practical stuff like "what music you like?" I feel ashame of saying it, but in things like "What you think bout that politician?" I defend my opinion to tooth and nail.
It's weird
LOL, I just read what I wrote and it screams INFP.
Am I wrong?
Am I wrong?
Both accepting other´s opinions and refusing them is healthy up to some level... It is up to you to find the borderline.
If you are too dominant, stubborn and just cant let go, people will dislike you for that... Endless quarrels that are usually held with equally stubborn individual, who wont change his mind either, are not leading anywhere...
If you are too submissive, people will manipulate you, abuse you and stuff.... You also might get to a point where your opinions are not your opinions anymore...
Also think about how important is it to you that anybody accepts your opinion... Depends on the "opponent" or partner in discussion... If you wont ever see that person again, what is the point? If it is a good friend that accepts you and your different opinions sure, why not...
If you are too dominant, stubborn and just cant let go, people will dislike you for that... Endless quarrels that are usually held with equally stubborn individual, who wont change his mind either, are not leading anywhere...
If you are too submissive, people will manipulate you, abuse you and stuff.... You also might get to a point where your opinions are not your opinions anymore...
Also think about how important is it to you that anybody accepts your opinion... Depends on the "opponent" or partner in discussion... If you wont ever see that person again, what is the point? If it is a good friend that accepts you and your different opinions sure, why not...
Find out what causes you to care..
For me, I'm bothered if I find an opinion ill-informed, I guess. And there's a worry about bad ideas spreading and affecting things like politics and policies that I have to live under, so I have a desire to want to make them see the light, even though I usually don't engage
For me, I'm bothered if I find an opinion ill-informed, I guess. And there's a worry about bad ideas spreading and affecting things like politics and policies that I have to live under, so I have a desire to want to make them see the light, even though I usually don't engage
I am also a 5w4 who thought he was an INFP for a while. Being 5w4, 9w1, 4w5 gives me intense emotional fascination and a vivid imagination, which INFPs usually also have as one of their most defining traits. I would say you are still most likely INTP, just by the way you type.
Not caring does not mean not listening to them. So this is simply what I do: analyze any decent opinion or criticism and find if it has any logical basis(a 5 should be able to do this). If yes, accept it and then decide to act on it or not. If not, simply discard it as nonsensical or simply problematic.
Not caring does not mean not listening to them. So this is simply what I do: analyze any decent opinion or criticism and find if it has any logical basis(a 5 should be able to do this). If yes, accept it and then decide to act on it or not. If not, simply discard it as nonsensical or simply problematic.
Learn through conditioning. When you notice yourself being influenced by the perceptions of others, acknowledge that it is happening. Pin point the reasoning behind it. Then ask yourself "but what would I do if I didn't care."
Force yourself to carry out that action. Repeat until integrated into set of personality traits.
Force yourself to carry out that action. Repeat until integrated into set of personality traits.
Well put. The key is to control that which is allowed to influence you.
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