Personality Cafe banner

1 - 10 of 10 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
My "friend" is so annoying! She was new at school. I didn't talk to her so much - I sometimes tell her "hello" or something. But my best friend had more contact with her - she wanted to make her feel good at new school - It's normal. At the beginning, I thought this annoying "friend" is ok, but after a period of time I changed my opinion about her. She is always talking about her friend, who I don't know and I always tell her "I don't care", but she is still talking about him. She is also always talking "I'm ugly, I'm fat" etc. and I'm sure she just wants to everyone deny it. (But, by the way, she is ugly, but she isn't fat) I'm studying before a lesson, because I want to get good grade. Suddenly this idiot comes to me and she is talking about her friend. When I try to ignore her, she tells "listen to me" or when i go away she goes with me! She is the worst student in class, she doesn't study and she is always cheating during the tests. She is so stupid, everone laughs at her, because she is telling this thing EVERYONE! I DISLIKE HER! WHAT CAN DO WITH HER? I WANT HER TO LEAVE ME ALONE! PLEASE HELP ME!! :sad:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
284 Posts
First, make sure she is straight. Then, tell her that you have extremely strong feelings for her and you want to adopt dozens of Romanian kids together.

Or, just tell her that you need some space since she is too dependant.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,623 Posts
^^^ Holy shit!!! It's the spirit under the true god Ahura Mazda, as prophesied by Zoroaster!!

Angra Mainyu!! Or should I say Angry Mainyu, the destructive spirit!
 

·
Registered
Infp 6w5
Joined
·
2,791 Posts
Just tell her to leave you alone if that's what you want. Be direct and assertive, and be clear to her that you want her gone. Otherwise she'll remain emotionally attached and keep coming back. Destroy the attachment and she'll leave you alone for good. But I'd strongly advise against it, it might permanently sever all chances of future positive interaction with her, and it can lead to fallout with other friends if they realize how you treated her. It might also hurt her and you don't know how she'll react.

Honestly, I feel sad for her if she really is the way you say she is. She clearly has self-esteem problems, is struggling in class, and is possibly feeling isolated. She misses her old friend, that's gotta be tough.

Personally I'd try to have a little compassion for her, she may just be a girl whose landed on some very hard times in her life, made even worse by the move to a new school. Maybe she's very lonely. Its very telling and sad that she still sticks around someone who constantly doesn't care or listen to what she has to say. Try to imagine how you would feel if you were in her shoes.

Either way, remember that whatever you choose you are responsible for your own actions.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
962 Posts
There was a girl like this that bothered my brother in school. At one point, a teacher had to tell her to shut up. (Then she cried). She eventually realized how her actions/behavior affected other people, and she became a much more pleasant person. Maybe this girl will be similar.

Maybe you could ask her (privately, not in front of the whole class) how she thinks she comes off to other people, and then tell her how she actually comes off to people and why. She'll probably cry or get upset, but you'll be doing her (and probably everyone else) a favor. She has some issues to work through, and she still has a lot of growing up to do from the sound of it.

Find a balance between gentle and blunt; between honest and polite. If you do something with someone's best interest at heart, it'll be harder to feel guilty about it later. You're essentially telling her "Honey, you've got a giant booger in your nose—you might want to take care of that before it causes you any further embarassment (you're welcome)."
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,095 Posts
This is a problem as old as the hills and I don't think there's a good solution. If it were me, I would respond to her as little as possible while still remaining basically polite, until she eventually went away. But this process will test your patience severely. Another option is to totally ignore her or straight-up tell her to stop talking to you-- but personally I wouldn't do either of those things, because I would always feel bad about it and wonder if I had really hurt her.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,235 Posts
I feel sad for her as well. I know you can't do much about you not liking her. But it's hard on the other side.
Also it's stupid to call "stupid" someone you don't understand.
I get the "stupid chats", that's annoying, but honestly are you sure that's all she's got? Maybe she always talks about him 'cause that's all she has at the moment. If I were you I would talk with her trying to understand how she feels. Maybe if you understand her she will understand you and your needs. Also you may understand everyone's special and MAYBE (big maybe) find a new friend.
But of course it's more easy to tell her "fuck off".
 
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
Top