What did it take?
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Dishonesty, or being judged by them unfairly.
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They clearly demonstrated that they either didn't believe me or they deliberately tried to make me dislike them - one event, one cause, and one reason behind the words and actions. I'm not sure what the reason was but it wasn't a pressured situation and there was no alcohol involved so it was definitely one of the above...
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Being asked for money over and over again by my mom. That annoys me to all hell because I don't have a lot of money and I usually have to get loud and authoritative to get my point across to her. WTH should an 18 year-old have to talk some sense into a 50 year-old?! This world is a steaming pile of dog shit and it makes me want to relieve some stress into a punching bag...:angry:
Hey Man, I dig your Avatar, but you might want to think about changing it to this?
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That is an excellent idea, sirdude! That respect my authoritah image is now my profile picture!
You know what else really grinds my gears?! Control freaks! The place where I live is called America, the land of the free. WTH are those types of people trying to tell me what to do and when to do it?! I've got rights to freedom and I'll exercise them! And if they don't like it,well, kiss my ass if you don't like it!
You know I've never and probably never will turn cold toward anyone that was once close to me. I always keep the door open I might not let them know it but it's there. Even if someone has done something terrible to me I still have faith in them I still have Hope that they can be the person I knew them to be,that everything will work itself out. I just can't allow myself to shut the door on anyone completely.
You are welcome!
What you wrote totally remind me of this great clip. One of the chick flicks I will watch whenever it's on.
It takes a lot for me to turn cold toward someone, but when I do Hell shivers.
Betraying me in anyway is a sure way to get booted out of my life. I always try to see the good in people and stay clear of trouble, so if I let you in my circle and you stab me in the back, then we are done. And we stay done.
I've even been known to be cold about the death of someone who had wronged me. People that have known me for a long time know that I am a very loyal person but once crossed I don't wait for part II, ......of course there was one exception, and he taught me to never give second chances.
Betraying me in anyway is a sure way to get booted out of my life. I always try to see the good in people and stay clear of trouble, so if I let you in my circle and you stab me in the back, then we are done. And we stay done.
I've even been known to be cold about the death of someone who had wronged me. People that have known me for a long time know that I am a very loyal person but once crossed I don't wait for part II, ......of course there was one exception, and he taught me to never give second chances.
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When they become highly inconsistent or they try to violate my consistency, both together means ice shattering. Its like when somebody has become something they're not or someone tries to turn me against myself.
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I pretty much agree with what GiGi said.
I'm an extremely loyal friend and if you repay that with dishonesty, disloyalty, disrespect, and/or plain ol' stabbing me in the back, I'll fire you from my life and literally not care whether you live or die. It's not so much that I go cold because that would imply that I still felt something for that person.
I've booted a few people out of my life over the years and, interestingly enough, I just booted some of my oldest "friends" recently for all four of the reasons I listed above. The funny thing is, they're mad at me for it. You royally screwed me over and now you're mad at me because I kicked you to the curb for it? Seriously? Idiots. :crazy:
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Betrayal of my trust. Can be averted if the said person didn't mean it and feels sincere regret. But even then, there's definitely a distance between me and the said person that wasn't there before. But it heals over time if such mishaps aren't repeated...
Usually it takes one great betrayal of my trust, or many minor, for me to turn cold on someone..
Usually it takes one great betrayal of my trust, or many minor, for me to turn cold on someone..
It's true, people will show you who they truly are in life.
When someone shows their true nature is a negative nature, don't excuse their behavior or you will be repeatedly shown to the point where you are in great pain and stress.
That person may be on a journey to becoming a better individual but that does not mean you need to be their stepping stone. Their decisions belong to them and they need to reap the rewards to grow, just as your decision to remain in a crappy relationship (friendship, marriage, work environment) is yours to reap.
Being cold isn't always a bad thing. It can also be positive change.
When someone shows their true nature is a negative nature, don't excuse their behavior or you will be repeatedly shown to the point where you are in great pain and stress.
That person may be on a journey to becoming a better individual but that does not mean you need to be their stepping stone. Their decisions belong to them and they need to reap the rewards to grow, just as your decision to remain in a crappy relationship (friendship, marriage, work environment) is yours to reap.
Being cold isn't always a bad thing. It can also be positive change.
Thank you for sharing GiGi, you made a couple of very good points. I can relate to your point about not being a stepping stone, usually after I meet someone who wasn't ready to be one for me. 20 years ago I was not the nicest of guys, and as I was trying to change or become a more positive member of society, I would have to leave one set of "friends" behind that were not the type of people I wanted to be and find someone who was closer to the type I did want to be like. What makes this a memorable point in time for me was how the" bad people" I was leaving behind thought of me as a "Do Good'er", but the people I wanted to be like thought of me as still the same ole "bad person."
I know that was not totally your point, but it's the memory that popped into my head as I read it. I think we all want to give people a chance, or two, or three, ...but some of us hold onto those "get out of jail free" cards a little tighter then others and will cut people lose faster then most with the first sign of trouble. My ex-wife did a great job at dealing with the little left-over attitude and problems I have. (it's not why we got divorced) I guess in my case, you can take the guy out of the big city, but you can't take the big city completely out of the guy.
Thanks again for taking the time to share.
SD
This reminds me of what my brother is always telling me, "give me five bucks"...OH wait, wrong thing, it's "kill them with kindness." Yeah, that's the one. :wink: It gets frustrating at times, but it's a lot cheaper then bail. :laughing: And it's a little more fun to watch someone boil over when they can't get a rise out of you.
Thanks for making me smile. :happy:
(Oh, as an ENFP, I feel I need to say I was not trying to mislead you or flirt with you in any way.:crazy: I hope you get that, otherwise....
)SD
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