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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
every enfj i've met irl seems to rub off me the wrong way
i also find most of them heavy-handedly manipulative, vocal, and arrogant

what do you think of enfjs?
 
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One of my best friends is an ENFJ. Great sense of humour, easygoing personality, amazing organisational skills which I can admire and approve of because I fall somewhat short in this respect myself. We have long, rambling conversations on the phone and love to poke fun at each other.

I haven't been so enchanted with all ENFJs I've met. Maturity goes a long way. And my friend is one of the least manipulative people I know, possibly because he saw firsthand the damage that can cause. (Toxic family environment.)
 

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Manipulative ENFJ are actually unhealthy (at least according to mbti) funny thing i've noticed most of the ENTP's I've read about or known seem to have had ENFJ parents

My mom is the only ENFJ I know but she's a delight to poke fun at (she gets real angry when I start debating stuff with her that she finds immoral) but non the less I admire ENFJ's ability to charm people
 

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I work with an ENFJ. She's one of the kindest people I've met, but it really annoys me how she'd rather take the slow but safe method that she's always gotten used to, instead of taking a more efficient but unfamiliar way of doing things. Trying to convince them to do otherwise is pretty useless as they'll never change their minds about something they believe in. On the other hand, I guess that makes them very good advocates.
 

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I know 4 ENFJs in real life. One is my mom, and as I've said elsewhere, she's unhealthy and manipulative. Another is a good friend of mine, and she's a doll. She's very sweet and honest and giving. The other two are male and we are cordial but we would never be good friends. One of them was my boss and he was very shady and manipulative. The other I just don't connect to on any level.

It's nothing against them personally, that just seems to be my interaction with them.
 

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I think they're swell. ENFJ's are sort of like the teacher/preacher/coach type people correct? The Oddly Developed Types page calls them Crusaders. I find I generally like and get along with intuitives. It's like we have an understood connection. It's the sensors I misconnect/miscommunicate with. I find it maddening interacting with them sometimes. It's like we operate on different wavelengths.
 

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Manipulative ENFJ are actually unhealthy (at least according to mbti) funny thing i've noticed most of the ENTP's I've read about or known seem to have had ENFJ parents
Really? That's interesting. ENFJs are so fun to mess with! They take everything so seriously.

I definitely admire their social charisma and tenacity. They're tough and can go through a lot without breaking. Also very loyal, giving, protecting, and have a good sense of humour.
I wish they were a little less stubborn, overprotective and dramatic and stop making others' needs their priority, when they don't deserve it.
 

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I think one of my teachers was ENFJ, Zzzzzzzz.....
 

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Shallow. They gossip excessively with everyone and anyone, and they are too expressive regarding their emotions. They generally try too hard to get along with everyone, to the point where it becomes ludicrous, since it can be seen as superficial. They want to be liked, and that can actually be displayed as a subtle desperation, and most importantly, I struggle with trusting them, since they can’t keep a secret. They just can’t. I do enjoy the fact that they are very easy-going, and I’m not going to deny that they are the kindest people I know, and I do ‘get along’ with them. What I do struggle a lot with is them proclaiming many traits that they claim to possess. I noticed that whenever they talk, they go “As you know me, I’m a very reasonable and open-minded person, so…”

It’s not easy, and admittedly, I do get into a few conflicts with them here and there, but I regard them as okay friends to be around, but not the best, and probably never as personal/close friends.

Disclaimer: Keep in mind that I’m referring to a few ENFJs that I’d known for 2 years, and this is my general impression of them, and I’m definitely not referring to all ENFJs.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Shallow. They gossip excessively with everyone and anyone, and they are too expressive regarding their emotions. They generally try too hard to get along with everyone, to the point where it becomes ludicrous, since it can be seen as superficial. They want to be liked, and that can actually be displayed as a subtle desperation, and most importantly, I struggle with trusting them, since they can’t keep a secret. They just can’t. I do enjoy the fact that they are very easy-going, and I’m not going to deny that they are the kindest people I know, and I do ‘get along’ with them. What I do struggle a lot with is them proclaiming many traits that they claim to possess. I noticed that whenever they talk, they go “As you know me, I’m a very reasonable and open-minded person, so…”

It’s not easy, and admittedly, I do get into a few conflicts with them here and there, but I regard them as okay friends to be around, but not the best, and probably never as personal/close friends.

Disclaimer: Keep in mind that I’m referring to a few ENFJs that I’d known for 2 years, and this is my general impression of them, and I’m definitely not referring to all ENFJs.
i have similar experiences. i keep only one enfj in my life -- he's quite unassuming of himself, but opinionated about everyone else around him. the rest of the enfjs i've met apparently have the tendency to ram a sock into my mouth whenever i air my incisive opinions. they kind of aggressively want harmony in a group, but do not know how aggressive they are themselves. others can't keep their mouths shut about all the GREAT stuff they've done in their lives. they'd ramble on for an hour or so about their work in the social services department without flinching at how mortifyingly bored the rest of the group is already. how is that Fe? they seem to be obsessed with themselves that they project this obsession to everyone around them. i find them quite tiring, actually, even more tiring than unhealthy enfps. coupled with a fawning intp sidekick, an enfj loves the limelight of being right all the time and purposefully living the good life. then again, not all enfjs are like this
 
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^Amusingly enough I know two ENFJs married to INTPs. Both ENFJs are healthy, lovely types, although one has a failing marriage from hell at this point and is looking into the best way to go about divorce, which is somewhat complicated by living in a foreign country and wanting to acquire a work visa so they can stay.

If I were to criticise my favourite ENFJs, it would be for being conflict averse at their own expense. But both are aware of this and working to stand more on their own two feet. Wonderful people otherwise-- kind, giving and fun. And not at all prone to tooting their own horns.
 

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I'm married to one, one of my kids is one, I think my dad was one, my oldest best friend is one, a current very good friend is one....I seem to attract ENFJs, or be attracted by them. I think my son was just one of those involuntary things....

Good points: they seriously know how to party, and are cool with weird conversation.
Tricky points: they don't do logic, which can make life difficult when things aren't going so well. And sometimes they give everything of themselves away to a person or project not really deserving, burn out, and then blame it on the person nearest, which as you can see is often me.
 

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every enfj i've met irl seems to rub off me the wrong way
i also find most of them heavy-handedly manipulative, vocal, and arrogant

what do you think of enfjs?
They're, uh...people. They're very peopley people. No matter who it is, they would have no doubt that ENFJs are people, because they're extremely peopley.
 
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