[puppies]

Lately, I've just been trying to lay low.

Especially, in australia, it's hsc pre lims for me. (year 11)

and like theres these people who always seem to say something bad about me, and i get kind of sad, a little anxious but not too much, and pretty frustrated.

*I am an ENFJ.. if this has anything related*



At the moment, there is so much pressure, i feel kind of stressed.
And i heard my ex-friends bad mouthing my cousin, or assuming bad negative things about him.

What should I do?
Please help. I dont know what to do ..

Thank you ..:sad:

 

[Notus Asphodelus]

What sort of bad things are they talking about?

 

[chad86tsi]

Those people only have as much power over as you let them have.

 

[master of time and space]

I look at it like this;

people who talk about you negatively have the most boring and nondescript lives imaginable and find everything about you so exciting and worthy of talking about.

Why would you talk about someone else if you did not find them more interesting than yourself?

The negative aspects of that type of verbal bullying are really representative of how they feel about themselves.

Although quite difficult, Ignore them, as an INFJ you should know the power of silence, we infj's can live in any silence very comfortably, the bullies cannot

 

[clem]

Lately, I've just been trying to lay low.

Especially, in australia, it's hsc pre lims for me. (year 11)

and like theres these people who always seem to say something bad about me, and i get kind of sad, a little anxious but not too much, and pretty frustrated.

*I am an ENFJ.. if this has anything related*



At the moment, there is so much pressure, i feel kind of stressed.
And i heard my ex-friends bad mouthing my cousin, or assuming bad negative things about him.

What should I do?
Please help. I dont know what to do ..

Thank you ..:sad:

@puppies you have a lot of extroverted feeling and soak up other people's emotions. Sometimes this bolsters you, but maybe it also drags you down at times.

You can try having a good sensation or feeling, such as by wearing aloe vera socks.
Http://personalitycafe.com/advice-center/1195409-aloe-vera-socks.html

This may break your over reliance on your extroverted feeling. It's a very ISFP thing to do, but maybe you should try it.

 

[xraydav]

Lately, I've just been trying to lay low.

Especially, in australia, it's hsc pre lims for me. (year 11)

and like theres these people who always seem to say something bad about me, and i get kind of sad, a little anxious but not too much, and pretty frustrated.

*I am an ENFJ.. if this has anything related*



At the moment, there is so much pressure, i feel kind of stressed.
And i heard my ex-friends bad mouthing my cousin, or assuming bad negative things about him.

What should I do?
Please help. I dont know what to do ..

Thank you ..:sad:

Hey, i did Year 11 in Australia too. Exact same thing happened. The school I went to in another state was way different, kids didn’t have to wear uniforms, it was a public school and everyone was in a great community (still Australia xD). Then that happened to some other kid, but not me. So it’s sometimes, the environment.

I ended up moving schools, missing both the good and the bad. Stay with the friends that mean something to you, don’t let the ones that badmouth you get to you, just ignore them or get some assistance (talking to the teacher/counselor worked wonders for me)

You only have to deal with them for another year and they’ll be a thing of the past. University is much safer and people are nicer.

I learned a lot of things that helped with time.

1) I was never alone, a lot of others went through the exact same thing. Feel embarrassed, caught ina web of rumours by some stupid popular kids or other bullies

2) Be rebellious. That’s what other kids do, you do it too. It makes school and school problems worth living through. Try not to hurt anybody though.

3) be different. Your flaws on one hand, can be weapons on the other, which can only exist to become strengths in the future.

4) people reap what they sow. kids who never paid attention and behavioural issues in school can only go so far later in life. They eat up their egos, because they have no choice living with such maladaptive behaviours.

the shit talking and statements they make about you, tell you about who they are. A bully I knew kept calling me and other kids “rookie” in high school, he ended up dropping out of year 11 physics and mathematics . I can’t imagine the embarrassment he would have if we were to bring this up now xD he would be blasted by other adults and looked down on for it.

5) develop skills and talents, pursue something of interest and master it. David Blaine mastered card tricks in his adolescence. If David Blaine did some card tricks in high school, the shittalking would decrease. Be different and develop an identity.

 

[Number5]

Realize that no matter what you do, you will never please everyone.

I've had experience with dealing with incredibly toxic people before, people who plots to undermine you in every possible moments, backstabs you at every given opportunity, and people who simply hated me. It left me a huge scar and I don't think I've recovered my ability to trust people.

But, I think what you should do is just keep being yourself (as long you're not actively offensive and wrong), haters exist everywhere. You may be able to please people, but you need to know that by pleasing them, you're throwing a bit of yourself each time. Eventually, you will be liked and you might no longer be able to like yourself.

Just a friendly caveat.