Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 26 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
96 Posts
Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I constantly find myself crushing on INFP guys, but idk what to do, or if they may even like me back in the same way! And then when they don't make any direct moves my interest wanes and then I start liking some other guy. At this rate will I ever get into a relationship?! I'd just kind of like the guy to make the first move. Fear of rejection is part of it, and while I'm not this big "traditionalist", it just seems.. nice. I feel like it's obvious when I like a guy though.. or maybe I'm not? I'm 18 btw, if that makes a difference

I'm not ugly or anything, but I find myself having difficulty forming close relationships in general, with other people. I think I kind of have intimacy issues in a way, that often prevent me from letting others get close, because I feel that leaves me vulnerable to getting hurt. I don't want to let someone, who doesn't really care for me, be able to stab me at my core. I'm not sure if other ENTPs share this feeling, but ENTPs have been called "emotionally distant" so maybe this is where it comes from? This at least explains me. But I do have deep emotions; I do want to romance, and be romanced. Even though I'm an ENTP, I'm not always in the mood to be extroverted.

I just find myself feeling this... strange connection with a lot of INFP guys, that I don't get with most other people, and I feel like I can let my guard down more, but idk if this is just in my head. I tend to have a lot of interests in common with them, too. My ideal guy is an INFP, but idk what to do!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
163 Posts
I like ENTP people (and girls of course)!! But I like them only when they show a sense of depth, like you have to bare with my awkward silence and the lack of first moves. I only made the moves when I feel really really passionate for the one; and that can either be caused by my own enthusiasm or I feel the attraction from them. Girls who switch quickly is largely a turn-off for me as I think they don't get serious in relationships, though it become more acceptable when I know them well or I'm still the primary focus.

I get along with many people, but I'm selective in true relationships.
 

·
MOTM Dec 2012
Joined
·
12,239 Posts
I think I addressed this in a previous thread, but I'll post anyway...

I can't resist a girl with a good sense of humor. Say/do something quirky or funny, and you'll get my attention. The more subtle, the better. I think NT's are good at pointing out intellectual paradoxes/contradictions, am I right? Don't prick him personally with verbal barbs though, cuz that'll get old real quick. But, I suppose this depends on the individual's sensitivity level. Some INFP guys have real thick skin and can handle jokes/humor with finesse. Trust me when I say laughing together is a good sign.

INFP's are usually very driven by their Fi. Knowing his values and commenting on them, constructively, can be intoxicating. This is probably your best way to connect. You don't have to agree with him on everything, but if you sincerely show respect and listen, that will go a long way to gain his attention.

If all else fails, don't fear rejection and just tell him (write a sincere letter), you have nothing to lose, and you will at least let him know that you are interested.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
161 Posts
I constantly find myself crushing on INFP guys, but idk what to do, or if they may even like me back in the same way! And then when they don't make any direct moves my interest wanes and then I start liking some other guy. At this rate will I ever get into a relationship?! I'd just kind of like the guy to make the first move. Fear of rejection is part of it, and while I'm not this big "traditionalist", it just seems.. nice. I feel like it's obvious when I like a guy though.. or maybe I'm not? I'm 18 btw, if that makes a difference

I'm not ugly or anything, but I find myself having difficulty forming close relationships in general, with other people. I think I kind of have intimacy issues in a way, that often prevent me from letting others get close, because I feel that leaves me vulnerable to getting hurt. I don't want to let someone, who doesn't really care for me, to be able to stab me at my core. But I just find myself feeling this connection with a lot of INFP guys, that I don't get with most other people, and I feel like I can let my guard down more, but idk if this is just in my head. My ideal guy is an INFP, but idk what to do!
The parts that I bolded describe the insecurities that all INFP's (I would even wager everyone) have. Nobody wants to share what they have with somebody who will crush it. All shy INFP's (which many INFP's will admit to being, as exemplified by the "Society Anxiety" [sic] thread) are terrified to make the first move, because they are using their Ne to predict scenarios and the worst-case ones seem to be the most likely. This causes them to make safe bets, as not asking the other person out removes the possibility for rejection since the other already has to be interested for a relationship to start.

However this habit is destructive, as often times the other person is thinking the same thing; or is simply not interested or other various reasons. Condemning the shy guy to solitude unless he wins the lottery of a girl asking him out. Ultimately it is more important for a person to overcome this fear of rejection, so that they can have more control over their lives. This goes for you and whichever shy INFP is reading this.

I guess the best way to do so is to, "act, then react", meaning doing he action without thinking which means it is impossible for your mind to stop you as you aren't thinking. Then contemplate on what you've done, hopefully finding a measure of confidence in your actions.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
96 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
I like ENTP people (and girls of course)!! But I like them only when they show a sense of depth, like you have to bare with my awkward silence and the lack of first moves. I only made the moves when I feel really really passionate for the one; and that can either be caused by my own enthusiasm or I feel the attraction from them. Girls who switch quickly is largely a turn-off for me as I think they don't get serious in relationships, though it become more acceptable when I know them well or I'm still the primary focus.

I get along with many people, but I'm selective in true relationships.
I have a crush on an INFP guy right now and I feel like there's chemistry between us, but we have so many awkward silences! when you put two socially awkward people together... it's kind of funny that I'm a socially awkward extrovert, actually

I wouldn't say I switch quickly, though. I don't think I'd have trouble being committed to just one person, at all. if I truly loved someone, why would I feel like cheating on them? and even if I did, it still goes against my ethics. And I think that even after I stop crushing on someone, a part of me always still has some sort of feelings for them. Also, it's not like I form deep crushes on just any guy
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
350 Posts
I bet that many INFP-guys would appreciate you asking them out. I mean it doesnt have to be like an asking-out for a date, more of a thing where you could say "Hey I think you're interesting to talk to, what about going to that coffee-shop after school?".
I couldnt imagine too many INFP's not being drawn to ENTP's actually.
From my personal experience I can become more silent and even kind of distanced once i'm interested; maybe that goes for other INFP's as well.
It's not necessarily your task to do the first move (because you're an extrovert) or his (because he is the man). If you think its worth it you should definitely try to initiate something though.
And about that fear of rejection. Getting rejected from time to time actually can (possibly) make you more confident because you took the active part (like actively trying to change something in your environment) and just realize that there is always gonna be people who reject you. Having to wait for someone to approach you and being in that passive role, hoping someone would make a change in this world according to my wishes usually makes me more insecure even though I was the one who has been approached.
 

·
MOTM June 2012
Joined
·
9,333 Posts
@spaceoddity If you consider yourself emotionally distant, then goodluck because as an INFP I demand emotions and lots of them from the woman I'm with. I'm pretty emotional myself and I look for a woman to match my own depths of feeling. What is it about INFP men that attracts you to them?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,835 Posts
It's not about the type for me, it's about the person. I think I could date someone of any type as long as they are a nice person. I guess I need a lot of patience and understanding from a girl. I may not make a move as quickly as other guys, but if the connection is there, then eventually I will. I'm used to girls passing me by because I don't initiate things, or not liking me because I'm not a confident person. It hurts after awhile, so meeting a girl who is willing to overlook those things would be amazing.

You seem like a really nice person, so I hope you meet the right guy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
43 Posts
I just find myself feeling this... strange connection with a lot of INFP guys, that I don't get with most other people, and I feel like I can let my guard down more, but idk if this is just in my head. I tend to have a lot of interests in common with them, too. My ideal guy is an INFP, but idk what to do!
ahhh, the power of INFP. It's not just you sweetie, thats how most people feel around us. You shouldn't have to worry about rejection when asking an INFP out, it's just not in our nature to reject ppl. If ANY woman asks me out I'll just agree, it's happened every time. I would rather give someone a shot then reject them, because you NEVER know what they could be like if you get to know them. I'm sure a lot of other INFP guys think the same way. Also, if an INFP DOES reject you, it's probably because they were having a bad day or you made them super nervous by giving them attention. In any case, you should try again a second time in the near future.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
96 Posts
Discussion Starter #12 (Edited)
@spaceoddity If you consider yourself emotionally distant, then goodluck because as an INFP I demand emotions and lots of them from the woman I'm with. I'm pretty emotional myself and I look for a woman to match my own depths of feeling. What is it about INFP men that attracts you to them?
I'm only emotionally distant around people I don't trust. But with someone I trust I'm able to let my guard down, cause I know they're not going to try and hurt me when I'm truly being open. Unfortunately, there's very few people I truly trust like that. But I like emotions and being emotional, haha. I don't act cold to people, I'm actually pretty nice and non-judgmental. I'm just distant in that I tend to keep my problems to myself, and not involve others. I love to help other people with their problems, but I just have this fear that if I tell people mine, they'll want to distance themselves from me. I can be feeling terrible inside and just put on this happy demeanor, and still joke around. I find comfort in humor, and making others laugh, actually. I just don't want to a burden to anyone. I think this has made me a lot more empathetic towards other people.. I feel like it's hard for me to truly hate others because even if someone is doing something I hate, I know it probably comes from some hidden insecurity or something. So it's like I see a part of myself in them, and yeah, idk. I feel like this has something to do with my liking of INFPs, haha. But yeah, just because I disagree with someone on a topic doesn't mean I personally hate them. I debate with others to increase my knowledge, not to hurt others

Things I like about INFPs.. Ok, I love how they're so creative, cause the arts are really important to me (music is my refuge), and most INFP guys I've met have been artists and/or musicians. That is just the hottest thing ever. I'm really attracted to the whole tortured, artistic soul thing, what can I say, haha. Not that I think they're a drag. There's just something kind of magical about them, in a way. Sorry if that sounds weird, I just don't know how else to describe it. And I love how they're smart (I love having deep convos with someone else that actually cares), generally quiet in public (unlike me, who usually can't stop talking. I like quiet moments, too, though. and then when they feel comfortable with you they'll randomly become more talkative and silly, it's so cute. like this one guy I know in particular, hehe..), and loners (like me. I may talk to people, but I've never really fit in anywhere). And I feel like we have a similar sense of humor, and like I said before, similar interests. At least, with the INFPs (that I'm aware of) I've met. *swoon*

even though i'm the extroverted one, I often feel like INFPs are too good for me!
 

·
MOTM June 2012
Joined
·
9,333 Posts
I'm only emotionally distant around people I don't trust. But with someone I trust I'm able to let my guard down, cause I know they're not going to try and hurt me when I'm truly being open. Unfortunately, there's very few people I truly trust like that. But I like emotions and being emotional, haha. I don't act cold to people, I'm actually pretty nice and non-judgmental. I'm just distant in that I tend to keep my problems to myself, and not involve others. I love to help other people with their problems, but I just have this fear that if I tell people mine, they'll want to distance themselves from me. I can be feeling terrible inside and just put on this happy demeanor, and still joke around. I find comfort in humor, and making others laugh, actually. I just don't want to a burden to anyone. I think this has made me a lot more empathetic towards other people.. I feel like it's hard for me to truly hate others because even if someone is doing something I hate, I know it probably comes from some hidden insecurity or something. So it's like I see a part of myself in them, and yeah, idk. I feel like this has something to do with my liking of INFPs, haha. But yeah, just because I disagree with someone on a topic doesn't mean I personally hate them. I debate with others to increase my knowledge, not to hurt others

Things I like about INFPs.. Ok, I love how they're so creative, cause the arts are really important to me (music is my refuge), and most INFP guys I've met have been artists and/or musicians. That is just the hottest thing ever. I'm really attracted to the whole tortured, artistic soul thing, what can I say, haha. Not that I think they're a drag. There's just something kind of magical about them, in a way. Sorry if that sounds weird, I just don't know how else to describe it. And I love how they're smart (I love having deep convos with someone else that actually cares), generally quiet in public (unlike me, who usually can't stop talking. I like quiet moments, too, though. and then when they feel comfortable with you they'll randomly become more talkative and silly, it's so cute. like this one guy I know in particular, hehe..), and loners (like me. I may talk to people, but I've never really fit in anywhere). And I feel like we have a similar sense of humor, and like I said before, similar interests. At least, with the INFPs (that I'm aware of) I've met. *swoon*

even though i'm the extroverted one, I often feel like INFPs are too good for me!
I'm kind of the same way, I trust no one and feel like an outsider wherever I go, but once the right person comes along, I can let my guard down and relax. Also, you pretty much won me over with that last paragraph. We should grab a drink sometime. :cool:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
78 Posts
The love of my life was (...:sad:) an ENTP girl.
We are pretty damn different, but that's the beauty of it. It can really be a complementary relationship. You should totally give it a try. Ask him out, he may be waiting for your move.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
874 Posts
Things I like about INFPs.. Ok, I love how they're so creative, cause the arts are really important to me (music is my refuge), and most INFP guys I've met have been artists and/or musicians. That is just the hottest thing ever. I'm really attracted to the whole tortured, artistic soul thing, what can I say, haha. Not that I think they're a drag. There's just something kind of magical about them, in a way. Sorry if that sounds weird, I just don't know how else to describe it. And I love how they're smart (I love having deep convos with someone else that actually cares), generally quiet in public (unlike me, who usually can't stop talking. I like quiet moments, too, though. and then when they feel comfortable with you they'll randomly become more talkative and silly, it's so cute.
Yeah, we're pretty cool. We're also extremely rare, which probably adds to the mystique.

ENTPs are cool. Sometimes they do need to stop talking, though. I honestly think they need to be told when to be quiet, or they'd never realise.

ENTPs are excellent companions for adventure.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,833 Posts
Well I don't have manly bits but I personally think ENTPs are all sorts of fun. They can engage my Ne which is an enormous component for a good conversation as far as I'm concerned. Anyway, I know a fair amount of INFP guys and you're probably going to have to take the initiative and ask out the one that you are interested in. A lot of wonderful INFP guys will go passed over for years just because they have a very difficult time playing the role of the one who takes the initiative in beginning relationships. I think that most INFPs are very trustworthy though. It may take a while for you to open up to each other, but once you have gained their affection, they will hold your heart in their hands like a little bird. The one piece of advice I'd give you is this; most of the ENTPs I know get a kick out of playing the devil's advocate in debates which is fine, but don't do it when having a conversation about something that an INFP holds as part of their values system because it'll upset them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
161 Posts
Things I like about INFPs.. Ok, I love how they're so creative, cause the arts are really important to me (music is my refuge), and most INFP guys I've met have been artists and/or musicians. That is just the hottest thing ever. I'm really attracted to the whole tortured, artistic soul thing, what can I say, haha. Not that I think they're a drag. There's just something kind of magical about them, in a way. Sorry if that sounds weird, I just don't know how else to describe it. And I love how they're smart (I love having deep convos with someone else that actually cares), generally quiet in public (unlike me, who usually can't stop talking. I like quiet moments, too, though. and then when they feel comfortable with you they'll randomly become more talkative and silly, it's so cute. like this one guy I know in particular, hehe..), and loners (like me. I may talk to people, but I've never really fit in anywhere). And I feel like we have a similar sense of humor, and like I said before, similar interests. At least, with the INFPs (that I'm aware of) I've met. *swoon*
*swoon*

Sorry, it's just people talking about love gets me kinda hot and bothered (okay, kinda wrong choice of words)...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,521 Posts
With me, it depends on the kind of E. I've known extroverts who needed a constant crowd which wore me out. Others I could sit & talk with for hours one on one & they didn't seem bored or lonely. The T; also depends. Could be really interesting if a T is philosophical & has an imagination like a child's. Or is just an individual with an interesting perspective. Or could at least cope with my F. But a scientist type or "Mr. Spock's twin sister" : ) I couldn't see chemistry there, too different. At least for me. So, ENTP's, yeah it could work. Especially with similar Enneagrams, interests & values.
 
  • Like
Reactions: spaceoddity

·
Banned
Joined
·
107 Posts
i think infp guy with entp girl is perfect match :) because you have what the other lacks but in a way that is super complimentary. if there are awkward silences just say whatever you want, entp's generate ideas quickly so just share your thoughts and there will not be a dull moment infp's just need encouragement to converse sometimes it think. they are more guarded but that doesn't mean they don't like to socialize they just need to feel comfortable, so make him feel comfortable around you just be yourself :)
 
1 - 20 of 26 Posts
Top