That's the real objective for us, isn't it? Whatever attributes combine to make the key to this door are secondary to the opening of the door itself.There is no one that I am truly open with, or truly comfortable being myself around, so if I ever find a woman that I trust enough to let all of my guards down, they're the one lol
Very nice description.triumphed in his battle against the forces of hell.
That last one is tricky because it can be hard to tell if they won, are still fighting, or were defeated and are now the walking dead. It's not like you can just ask.
The latter is more disturbing to me. Especially if I'm more aware of it than they are.Very nice description.
I kind of think that this is what life actually is though. Maybe it's just the people I know but I don't know anyone who isn't fighting their own demons...also plenty who aren't aware that they have demons.
Catwalk this is brilliantly said!! You nailed itVery simplistic :: just (3) things.
(A) - 100% honesty. I do not care how you do it, how you say it, just be genuine + honest. Do not change / morph yourself for me; because I would not do it in return. Give me honesty; and all you have it. I do not care how screwed up // hurtful // scary // or overbearing it is. I can take it (&) I want to absorb it like a sponge. Do not waste my time (!)
(B) - Appreciation. Indeed; I like to feel highly useful (&) everything I do is for a purpose. Since almost everything I do is for an underlying objective either subconsciously or consciously; I need to feel as if I am being of use. My deed(s) need acknowledgment.
I do not mind doing anything for (X)-partner; but you must show you appreciate it. This show(s) you appreciate my loyality to you -- which was not easy to come by (via) (Fi)-tapping.
''Thank you for this. This is awesome, this is why I love you.'' -- Please do not overdo it -- NO GIFTS and too much lovey-dovey shit. Do no overdo it. Give me space. It make(s) me uncomfortable; I am not interested in materalistic expression(s) (&) not interested in ''buying,'' you either; only internalized appreciation + understanding not fauxily executed nonsense.
(C) - Challenge. Bring a challenge; not problem(s). If they bring problem(s), I am looking for solutions; not wallowing in them getting obese with complaints -- bringing 'problems,' is a result of grudge holder(s) / non-problem solvers + other self-defeating nonsense that restricts me. The past annoys me (&) do not want to sit in it. I have no interests in that. Do not bring that crap. Argue with me; help me expand on my points + ideas; as I have a lot of them. This is how I grow; this is how I expand. You challenge my intellect (&) skills is the best thing any potential individual can do. It mean(s) you care; you have interest in all my irrelevant nonsense (&) can move with me. I light-up inside (&) value this rather much.
I do not care how smart / intelligent / talented you are; I am not impressed in your juggling acts -- it is the effort + willpower + personal drive I am interested in. Not just challenge me; but also show you challenge yourself. This demonstrate(s) an individual that can contribute to my knowledge-gain and my thirst for new thing(s), problem-solving and challenges.
Give these (3) important thing(s) (&) I will do the rest of the damage; everything else result(s) in involuntarily meta-judgment(s) over individualized introduction(s).
This is spot on mateI think these are the main ones for me:
--Compatibility, similar outlooks (not necessarily the same beliefs or opinions on everything, although shared values are also important).
I've made efforts to develop this in myself. but there are times when I ask myself if it was worth the effort. It's refreshing (and a little contagious) to see someone use it so effortlessly, especially someone I'm romantically attracted to
--Confidence and integrity, self-respect
--Creativity (of some kind, could be music, writing, art, digital design..etc...sometimes have a thing for musical talent though..)
--don't know how exactly to describe this one.. I like some suggestion of an edge/a spine, like 'oomph' or vitality. Creativity can take this form, as can more athletic hobbies, or ambitiousness. A drive to just do what you like to do for its/your own sake.
--Similar interests and goals, being supportive of them
Being mutually supportive is also a value for me, so that could count as a specific shared value
--Understanding of individuality and personal space
Not necessarily academic or "NT stereotype" intelligence, more like being grounded and having common sense.. maybe "wise" is a better word, but it also sounds too lofty
You know what they say.. you don't have to force magnets to attract (okay, I made that up just now lol). I don't like having to think or try too hard here. Too much pressure for my wimpy Se.
+ 1For me I like
-someone who's open, warm, and affectionate
-Someone intelligent, who I can have deep conversations with (and not necessarily NT analytical type convos either. NFs can be amazing)
-someone who's bright and creative
-Someone who loves life and can live in the moment. Vivacious is probably the right word
-Someone who can express emotions, and is comfortable doing so. This is kind of a must, because it balances me out and keeps the relationship working well
-someone with similar values, who is accepting of my own values and supportive of my goals
-someone who is socially intelligent and can help me there
Basically, I want someone who can match me in my life. Someone who can walk by my side as an equal, but be different than me. They can help bring a zest for life to the table. I want someone who I want to spend time with more than I want to alone. A beautiful, passionate, intelligent girl that I can take the world by storm with
I would say that is badly worded, what that phrase actually means is that certain differences in personalities compliment each other. Like how an extrovert can bring an introvert out of their shell and so on. Opposites where you are a men's rights activist wanting to date Gloria Steinem does not work.They say opposites attract
well I guess my point is I don't see that as a positive. Nor is it something I seek in another. Granted that's my opinion and maybe I'm in the minority, but I'm an introvert, that's who I am. It's not like I'm wandering around looking for someone who can save me from the introverted "cage" I was born into. I like who I am. So when I say I want someone as similar to me as possible and not someone opposite, it's because I would rather find a woman who, like me, would rather stay in on a Friday night and read a good book or watch a movie than someone who would be dragging me out of the house to go to some bar or night club...etc.certain differences in personalities compliment each other. Like how an extrovert can bring an introvert out of their shell and so on
Well said. This is true. I like the Keirsey theory about type opposites except for the S/N preference. But it seems to work really well when it does work and completely crash and burn when it doesn't. For example, an ENTJ can completely crush an INFP if they're not careful .I would say that is badly worded, what that phrase actually means is that certain differences in personalities compliment each other. Like how an extrovert can bring an introvert out of their shell and so on. Opposites where you are a men's rights activist wanting to date Gloria Steinem does not work.
Well. You're not wrong *sigh*. ENFPs can be wonderful, but there's certainly room for fuckups between an INTJ and an ENFP. (I know this from experience.) My points in that post could've certainly been more eloquently worded but I was tired and going off the top of my head, so it wasn't very composed. However, it is how I feel and what I want.+ 1
Sounds like an ENFP :tongue: