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okay, so one of my best friends EVER is an istj. i like him because he's calming and nice and will always be there for me, regardless. i also like him because he's somewhat of a mystery to me, and i love learning new things. however, he's also extraordinarily frustrating because he is so quiet and always so grounded about everything. with that being said though, i like how he's able to keep me in line and pull my head from the clouds.

so, now i'm curious. what do you guys think about my type? (he told me that he enjoys hanging around me, but i'm not entirely sure why, and well, the verbal declaration of enjoying my presence was very hard to get out of him, i highly doubt i'll get an explanation anytime soon!)
 

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okay, so one of my best friends EVER is an istj. i like him because he's calming and nice and will always be there for me, regardless. i also like him because he's somewhat of a mystery to me, and i love learning new things. however, he's also extraordinarily frustrating because he is so quiet and always so grounded about everything. with that being said though, i like how he's able to keep me in line and pull my head from the clouds.

so, now i'm curious. what do you guys think about my type? (he told me that he enjoys hanging around me, but i'm not entirely sure why, and well, the verbal declaration of enjoying my presence was very hard to get out of him, i highly doubt i'll get an explanation anytime soon!)
I think the way ENFPs can be open and talkative to just about anyone is delightful at times, and it's actually a good plus for the ISTJ when conversing, because we don't have to come up with our own input constantly - you can almost keep a conversation going by yourselves. It's also a minus, however, because sometimes we do have some important input to bring up, and it becomes hard if you keep talking ;)
 

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Sometimes we do have some important input to bring up, and it becomes hard if you keep talking ;)
I do this a lot and I hate it about myself. A lot of my friends are ISXJ's and I occasionally I notice they try to get something in while I'm talking, but it doesn't actually hit me til minutes later. I'm not sure why.
 

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okay, so one of my best friends EVER is an istj. i like him because he's calming and nice and will always be there for me, regardless. i also like him because he's somewhat of a mystery to me, and i love learning new things. however, he's also extraordinarily frustrating because he is so quiet and always so grounded about everything. with that being said though, i like how he's able to keep me in line and pull my head from the clouds.

so, now i'm curious. what do you guys think about my type? (he told me that he enjoys hanging around me, but i'm not entirely sure why, and well, the verbal declaration of enjoying my presence was very hard to get out of him, i highly doubt i'll get an explanation anytime soon!)
I'm an ISTJ male who has had a few good ENFP female friends in the past. They were a joy to be around (in moderate doses). For me positive interactions with ENFP types have occurred either one-on-one, or in small groups. They were surprisingly easy to talk to and we always had very interesting conversations. Female ENFP's are good friends to have when I need someone to bounce ideas off of or if I need help understanding personal interactions with others. They helped me to loosen up a little bit and have fun, and I enjoyed seeing the world through their eyes for a little while. They were a bright spot in my day that I looked forward to. They said the same kinds of things about me that you said you like about your friend, so that's interesting.

Your friend may feel the same way about you as I've described above, but he may not be very expressive about it. Remember that a lot of ISTJ types "speak" through their actions. Does he spend time with you? (Obviously yes). Does he listen to you? Does he take time to consider what you've had to say? Does he laugh at your little jokes? Does he offer you any advice? These actions may indicate that he thinks highly of you and values your friendship.

Congrats on getting him to verbally admit that he enjoys hanging out with you. :wink: Were there very many other people around when he said this? Some ISTJ's find it hard to talk about themselves, so it may be best to bring up personal topics (i. e. feelings) in private. And don't go shouting the results from the rooftops (not that you would) because that might be perceived as disrespectful and untrustworthy conduct (just fyi).

As an ISTJ I've always found it surprising and flattering when an ENFP took an interest in me. You guys are a fascinating group.

Don't hesitate to ask if you have any more questions.
 

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My ENFP husband taught me to just relax while he does everything in his round about way. He constantly asks for feedback and I sometimes struggle to come up with answers he wants to hear. If it is something I am disinterested in I kind of have to fake like I think it is interesting or he will get discouraged,depressed and maybe even a little offended so I will go the extra mile and find something interesting and positive about it. This has made me a better person and certainly it has improved my people skills. On the other hand, I can totally forget about him showing interest in certain things I am interested in. I get things done while he does lots of things and eventually comes up with really neat things if I just stay quiet and watch while giving him encouraging words. I suspect he tries to do that for me too on occasion. :wink:
 

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I love XNFPs! I find them so freaking lovely and sweet, and their dreamy and fun behaviour helps me to relax a bit more and enjoy the moment. I only have one thou... :sad: I want more!! :crazy:

Don't hesitate on asking him why he enjoys hanging out with you. If we say the fact, it's because we are willing to say the reasons if you want us to. But keep in mind what indyjones16 said:

Some ISTJ's find it hard to talk about themselves, so it may be best to bring up personal topics (i. e. feelings) in private. And don't go shouting the results from the rooftops (not that you would) because that might be perceived as disrespectful and untrustworthy conduct (just fyi).
 

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I have an ENFP friend and I LOVE joking around with her. It's sort of more like I'm making fun of her, but it's not mean-spirited or anything, and it just makes her laugh more, which makes me laugh more at the whole situation.

It's encouraging being around someone who is so kind and goes out of her way to check up on my emotional state when it's so hard for me to talk about it, or even know if it's worth talking about or whatever.
 

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They are draining and loud and refuse to use their heads. They also come across to me as not being able to enjoy life unless they are surrounded by 200 people, all babbling incessantly - which is my idea of hell... I know that many ISTJ males marry ENFP females - I guess it builds character or something. :confused::tongue:
 

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They are draining and loud and refuse to use their heads. They also come across to me as not being able to enjoy life unless they are surrounded by 200 people, all babbling incessantly - which is my idea of hell... I know that many ISTJ males marry ENFP females - I guess it builds character or something. :confused::tongue:
It does, it does. Our puzzle pieces match...there is a lot of growth potential in such a pairing. It's a bit rocky at first, but ironing out all of those wrinkles is worth it...becoming the best person you can be requires a different approach, I guess.
 

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I am still on the fence about whether I am married to a ENFP or a ESFP. I think he is ESFP when he starts with the free entertainment by singing,dancing and acting silly. Some of it has rubbed off on me because I try to imitate him and he thinks that is really funny. I think he is ENFP when he gets a little OCD about feeling guilty about things that don't even blip on my radar and the moods he can get in are difficult to figure out yet at the same time he is predictably unpredictable. :rolleyes:

He tells me,"I am so glad you are not one of those annoying blabbermouths." :laughing:

We get on each other's nerves all the time but somehow it works and we can't imagine things being any other way.
 

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My mom is ENFP, and it can be a struggle to get along with her sometimes because our needs are so vastly different, but I love her to death (obviously) and I think she is a wonderful person. I admire her desire to touch so many lives and make people's lives better, but I can tell sometimes she just wants to drag things out of me that I'd rather not talk about (or really just don't have an opinion on either way). I do make an effort to try and fulfill her needs (if she wants to have a drink after work and I don't really feel like it, sometimes I'll go just to appease her, and I'll engage in whatever she wants to talk about). Other times, though, when I tell her no, I'd rather stay home, I feel like I've hurt her feelings.
 

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My husband is an ENFP!
What I like:
He brings out emotion in me, he's exciting, I love that he can just "let it all go", he calms me down when my order gets disrupted.

What I don't like:
His inability to focus, sometimes I have to tell him to "shut up" so I can explain my feelings, his lack of scheduling and organizing.

I've been with him for ten years and married for seven...
 

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One of my best friends of over 10 years is an ISTJ female. Recently I told her some happy news and she got all lecture-y on me regarding the news instead of the happy and encouraging like others are. It bothered me because I get the sense that she really thinks I don't know what I'm doing and am flaky. I also really dislike being mothered. It all came out of a place of caring and she is a great friend and means well, so I'm letting it go, but I just wonder if this feeling of distrust (of competence) is an ISTJ-enfp dynamic or if it is a wrong perception on my part.

I guess my life and way of thinking is so unconventional that it just might not compute. Although I am very successful with my outofthebox lifestyle, so I guess that's why this feeling or attitude bothers me.
 
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I am going to be very upfront and blunt about this. Accept him for who he is. Do not try to change him or "fix" him because he is behaving normally for an ISTJ. Honestly, the most trouble I have with ENFPs, is that they try to make me behave in a way I don't feel comfortable, and they just don't seem to respect my boundaries. If you want to be a good friend, you would quit being frustrated and accept him as he is. people always seem to think online and IRL, that the ISTJs are the bad guys who need to change in order to accommodate the angel ENFP.
-_- You obviously mean something to him, so be patient. He has already tried to satisfy you, yet you don't seem to appreciate his effort at all. It is extremely difficult for an ISTJ to voice mushy gushy touchy feely stuff. pressuring him more, could put him under a lot of stress. ISTJs are not quick to throw themselves into relationships.
 

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I am going to be very upfront and blunt about this. Accept him for who he is. Do not try to change him or "fix" him because he is behaving normally for an ISTJ. Honestly, the most trouble I have with ENFPs, is that they try to make me behave in a way I don't feel comfortable, and they just don't seem to respect my boundaries. If you want to be a good friend, you would quit being frustrated and accept him as he is. people always seem to think online and IRL, that the ISTJs are the bad guys who need to change in order to accommodate the angel ENFP.
-_- You obviously mean something to him, so be patient. He has already tried to satisfy you, yet you don't seem to appreciate his effort at all. It is extremely difficult for an ISTJ to voice mushy gushy touchy feely stuff. pressuring him more, could put him under a lot of stress. ISTJs are not quick to throw themselves into relationships.
How do you think one can best demonstrate to an ISTJ they really accept and appreciate them and there's no pressure?
 
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