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Forgive me if this has been discussed before, but I would like to know how ISTJs see INFPs. My mother is the archetypal ISTJ - logical, efficient and dependable. I, on the other hand am a classic INFP - sentimental, dreamy, but imaginative. Our relationship has always been rather stormy, but I would like to see things from her point of view to see whether we can come to some sort of understanding.

When we get on, we get on like a house on fire, but when we fall out, the atmosphere can remain acrimonious for weeks. We have many things in common and can spend hours talking about anything and everyhting. But sometimes, she just...turns. She can be analy retentive about such trivial matters and gets angry if people don't do things her way, at her say-so. For instsance, when I've finnished flicking through the newspaper and put it back on the table, she will huff and puff, aligning the edges up so that they're straight:confused:. She will then be really moody with me and go on to list all my flaws. Don't get me wrong, we all have our neurosies, but she seems to think hers are more important.

Sometimes, my very existance seems to irritate her this often reduces me to tears. I have been told that I'm too needy and need to pull my head out of the clouds. She prides herself on her pragmatism and boasts that she DOESN'T DO ''tea and sympathy''. I'm not trying to paint her out as a villain because she has many admirable qualities. She gets things done and if I need help, she's more than willing to lend a hand. However, sometimes all I want is a hug and to talk about my feelings, which makes her feel uncomfortable.

I'm not seeking to change my personality, but I would like to understand her way of thinking so that we can communicate more efficiently. So, how do ISTJs see INFPs?
 

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Sorry I'm not an ISTJ but

Maybe she's not really acting Mean towards you, but just pointing out your weaknesses so you can be aware of them and change? Kinda like making you develop a thicker skin and take responsibility.. except since we can be pretty sensitive, we end up just getting worse from the constant criticism instead of using it in a good way XD.

Perhaps she doesn't do 'tea and sympathy' because she thinks this is the best way to act. Saying you shouldn't be so emotional and be like her. In a way, she could also be trying to help you not be so sensitive by not nurturing that part of you. -shrugs-

I'm just guessing because ISTJ seem result oriented.. and being emotional about everything isn't really gonna get things solved. If you tell them a problem, they could help by giving a solution. But if you just want sympathy and rant about something, they may think it's a waste of time since it doesn't solve anything and get annoyed.

It'd be nice if some ISTJ can give some insight, since I'm curious too lol.
 

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I have only known one INFP in real life. I think she may have been a druggie. She's also a teen mother. However I think she's a cool person. I like the INFP's intrinsic sense of wonder and belief that good will prevail. As for your mom... I dunno.
 

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I have two close friends that are INFPs. Overtime I realized that I was being overly critical and mean. I didn't think they were focused and rational. I was being critical because I wanted them be happy with their lives and be successful, not because I didn't like what they were doing. The last thing I want is have a good friend go through some problems that could have been avoided. I guess it's my weird way of showing you that I care about you. I eventually learned to shut up and listen to what they have to say, even if it didn't make any sense to me. I try my hardest to let them finish what they have to say before I start talking. I actually like my INFP friends, they're fucking awesome and I like being around them. They give an escape from my routine day.
 

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My dad is an ISTJ and we get along great. However, it seems if I step out of line or into my dreamworld he gets quite annoyed/bored. He's not so great with showing affection so it's difficult to talk to him about things. He often refers to me as "flaky" and that I need to grow a pair :crazy:

I think ISTJ's have some trouble understanding our INFP needs
 

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My dad is an ISTJ and we get along great. However, it seems if I step out of line or into my dreamworld he gets quite annoyed/bored. He's not so great with showing affection so it's difficult to talk to him about things. He often refers to me as "flaky" and that I need to grow a pair :crazy:

I think ISTJ's have some trouble understanding our INFP needs
ISTJ's are suck it up, stoic types. We find you interesting unless your dreaming when there is a task at hand. Then I think your dad has it right...Flaky.
 

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Duuude, how could anyone not like INFPs? INFPs are awesome, and i bet ISTJs realize that :laughing:
 

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INFPs are pretty awesome. :) I can understand what is being said here, though. My mom is an ISTJ, and we have our share of problems.
 

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Hmm. I would just say if you are looking for someone to sooth you, or emotionally wind you up... ISTJ is not the type. But if you want us to listen, and give you rock solid advice. We'll do that. I would just remember when we give advice, we do know its much easier to talk the talk, than walk the walk. We are just telling you what needs to get done. We put our emotions aside, you dont have to.
 

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Hmm. I would just say if you are looking for someone to sooth you, or emotionally wind you up... ISTJ is not the type. But if you want us to listen, and give you rock solid advice. We'll do that. I would just remember when we give advice, we do know its much easier to talk the talk, than walk the walk. We are just telling you what needs to get done. We put our emotions aside, you dont have to.

Very well said. I see this a lot in my mother.
 

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I've never met an ISTJ... I think I have one friend? But I would like to have more xD; o3o;
 

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There are two answers to this for me. The first one is based solely on the descriptions about them I read on MBTI and MBTI-related websites (which is why I find the descriptions to be lacking and not too useful). I wonder to myself, "How do they keep themselves from getting killed every time they step out of the house?"

Needless to say, this is not a very positive opinion of them. However, I know that the image and opinion I hold are based on a very vague and general description. It is based on the faulty conceptions I have of an "INFP" rather than "a person who also happens to be an INFP."

As for my second answer, I have to say that I don't have much data to state any particular opinions of INFPs, since I have only encountered two confirmed INFPs in my life namely my girlfriend, and infpblog, who are INFPs at vastly different stages of personal development. Not only that, but I consider type and typing to be, at it's best, a tool to assist the better development of relationships, rather than destiny. I find it better for me to actually deal with the person in question and the MBTI is a tool for me in the sense that I have some idea of where the other person is coming from.
 

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My ISTJ friend is pretty amazing. Even though he has some depression issues of his own at this point in his life, he still just has a lucid mind and persistence...for example he recognized that I was depressed/struggling with psychological issues and kept pushing me to go see a therapist even though I was too lazy/didnt want to. I ended up seeing the therapist and just the process of introspecting about my issues has helped me recover some semblence of sanity...so I would say he saved my life just by being able to keep a clear head and analyze my situation in a dispassionate way. Currently Im trying to return the favor and help him sort out his own issues Im waiting to hear back from him at the moment.
 
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