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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am curious as to what you other types think of ISTJs in general. My main reason for the curiosity is to see if it is the same as what people would say about me. So, do you think ISTJs are fun or boring? Do you think that they are workaholics? In your view, would you really call ISTJs "The Borefest", and do you get our style of humor? Just put down your opinion of an ISTJ :p
 

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I only know one ISTJ, but from my experience, I think he is a sweetie. He cares for his family, and friends, and tries his best to get to were he wants to be. The only think that can frustrate me is when he doesn't show his feelings/doesn't know how to, and he cannot play along with my off beat imagination. But I wouldn't change him, he is my main source for advice.
 

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ISTJs are insanely loyal to the things they believe in and to the few people and things they allow close to their heart.

They're very much into social order, and I see ISTJ as police officers that enforce what they believe is the unconditional "truth" -- the agents of a cold justice that's written with an emotionless letter; that's enforced with a very straightforward consistency.

Which is why I tend to have very fiery relationships with ISTJs, moreso initiated by the ISTJ and reciprocated by my violent resistance to their whims -- myself being an anarchist individualist, the kind of person that spends his time looking around the city for new works of graffiti to enjoy, who shows up at high-class French restaurants dressed in baggy jeans and an oversized shirt, even though I know they won't let me in.

That said, it's more the ISTJ that dislikes me than me disliking the ISTJ -- I find myself incredibly attracted to that kind of loyalty and devotion to the things they care about, and my dream mate is an ISTJ who's willing to put up with my quirks and ideosyncrasies (though few would ever be willing to compromise their belief in that order they so strongly believe in, which is exactly why it's my dream). It's the ISTJ who instantly targets my nonconformity and goes in for the "arrest", attempting to make me bend my knees beneath the weight of societal pressure, and I reflexively resist with every fiber of my existence to their tendencies to try and make me fall in line with the set order they think the world should be run with.

But like I said -- even though I lash back at their attempts to pin me down, I still find a deep respect for their service and dedication to the things they're loyal to. And I truly hope one day one decides to be loyal to me, because I'd love to know I had that kind of protection from the world.
 

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My dad's one. Can be slightly shitty parents untill you learn rather excessively passive agressive tendancies as a hint, the only hint that seems to penetrate, that you might need a little more than 'Is your room tidy? Tidy it now, I don't care what you're doing, do it NOW!!!$£""$!£!2' by way of affection or affirmation, when out of touch with their F side.

Essentially to use Si to get through, vibe, but don't directly confront, which usually just brings out semi hostile reactions.

But in his defence he's worked pretty hard at opening up a little more, being less of a projectionistic, insular, emotional brick. We've certainly never gotten into debt, or any such household troubles, and I can't see my mum coping with any other man; they've got a very good relationship and marriage.

It's taken seventeen years for me to laugh at any of his rare, and so.... they're not even joke like jokes. I wonder ho long it took him to make them. I now realise he's got an almost innocent sense of humour, doesn't really seem to get negative emotional tendancies (manipulation, or spite, doesn't really understand/respond to them much at all), as my mum puts it, 'he just won't play' if you try and screw with him, he'll just walk off not really caring, so the harshest joke he'll ever make is more often than not about groups of people, more so/sp 6w5ish than anything else, like, half ironically saying 'All cyclists are selfish and see themselves as a peg above the rest of us, those middle class hippies on their stupid contraptions *grumble grumble grumble*', with me, my mum and brother going ...:crazy::mellow:.......'is he being serious?'.... There's no sense of vindictiveness, as a fair chunk of humour, in my eyes seems to contain. It's kind've sweet, in a way. The most humour he's been attempting lately seems like a very bad attemt at breaking the ice with me more than anything. He doesn't really know how else to be close...

So yeah, with a little connection to F you guys can be pretty sweet.

I realise this is just a girl ranting about her dad...but...this is my experience, I guess.
 

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My dad is also an ISTJ. And our relationship has been a rocky one, but now it seems to have reached a content point.
When I was younger, my dad was this strong, impenetrable protector; reserved and humble, and sometimes, it felt like he was beyond humanity. Sometimes, he didn’t even feel real to me. He was so emotionless seeming and he kept his distance when it came to meaningful conversation.
My dad has always been the kindest person I know. But he has this quirkiness, that doesn’t always communicate that part of him. We were family, but nothing more. I loved him indefinitely, but there wasn’t a relationship between us. He wasn’t able to express himself, and he wasn’t able to understand me.
But now that I’m taking the time to learn more about him, he’s taken the initiative to learn more about me and we have a very solid relationship.
He definitely is very good with money and he has played the biggest part in keeping my family together. He’d do anything for anyone. But that’s not to say he doesn’t complain all the way through it. :]
He expects the same respect he gives but is laid back when it comes to not getting it, which infuriates me to no end because he needs to put people in their place sometimes.

His sense of humor is very… lame. :] But I actually have started to get some of his so called ‘jokes’. (I’m just about the only one though.)
I don’t think he’s boring at all. He’s one of those people that knows an, otherwise unnecessary fact about everything. And he has these brilliant half-baked plans that he almost never has time to follow through with.

All ISTJs I’ve encountered have been very interesting, but since I know my dad pretty well, I just based this on him.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
My dad's one. Can be slightly shitty parents untill you learn rather excessively passive agressive tendancies as a hint, the only hint that seems to penetrate, that you might need a little more than 'Is your room tidy? Tidy it now, I don't care what you're doing, do it NOW!!!$£""$!£!2' by way of affection or affirmation, when out of touch with their F side.

Essentially to use Si to get through, vibe, but don't directly confront, which usually just brings out semi hostile reactions.

But in his defence he's worked pretty hard at opening up a little more, being less of a projectionistic, insular, emotional brick. We've certainly never gotten into debt, or any such household troubles, and I can't see my mum coping with any other man; they've got a very good relationship and marriage.

It's taken seventeen years for me to laugh at any of his rare, and so.... they're not even joke like jokes. I wonder ho long it took him to make them. I now realise he's got an almost innocent sense of humour, doesn't really seem to get negative emotional tendancies (manipulation, or spite, doesn't really understand/respond to them much at all), as my mum puts it, 'he just won't play' if you try and screw with him, he'll just walk off not really caring, so the harshest joke he'll ever make is more often than not about groups of people, more so/sp 6w5ish than anything else, like, half ironically saying 'All cyclists are selfish and see themselves as a peg above the rest of us, those middle class hippies on their stupid contraptions *grumble grumble grumble*', with me, my mum and brother going ...:crazy::mellow:.......'is he being serious?'.... There's no sense of vindictiveness, as a fair chunk of humour, in my eyes seems to contain. It's kind've sweet, in a way. The most humour he's been attempting lately seems like a very bad attemt at breaking the ice with me more than anything. He doesn't really know how else to be close...

So yeah, with a little connection to F you guys can be pretty sweet.

I realise this is just a girl ranting about her dad...but...this is my experience, I guess.
Thank you for giving your experience with an ISTJ. You can only form your opinion on ISTJs you have met, so thank you for explaining. I am not really "in touch" with my F side but I do try to understand people and where they are coming from. I prefer to think of myself as more laid back, but I know some people who would claim otherwise >.>
 
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To the outside world, I guess my husband and I look boring. Conflict between us is rare, and then usually due to a misunderstanding rather than a personality clash. Most of our time together is spent quietly at home. Neither one of us is a party person. We are so compatible that we often say the same thing at the same time, or at least one of us says something, and the other was thinking it. It's like being married to a male version of myself. And hubby has noticed that too. He observed when we first got together, "I've been watching your body language and your mannerisms. It's like watching me." Now and then we catch ourselves "mirroring" each other, sitting in exactly the same pose with our hands and feet the same way, but opposite direction. I'm left-handed, probably has something to do with that.

But I love it. Absolutely love it. I hate drama. I've had enough of it and wouldn't mind being "bored" the rest of my life.
 

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To the outside world, I guess my husband and I look boring. Conflict between us is rare, and then usually due to a misunderstanding rather than a personality clash. Most of our time together is spent quietly at home. Neither one of us is a party person. We are so compatible that we often say the same thing at the same time, or at least one of us says something, and the other was thinking it. It's like being married to a male version of myself. And hubby has noticed that too. He observed when we first got together, "I've been watching your body language and your mannerisms. It's like watching me." Now and then we catch ourselves "mirroring" each other, sitting in exactly the same pose with our hands and feet the same way, but opposite direction. I'm left-handed, probably has something to do with that.

But I love it. Absolutely love it. I hate drama. I've had enough of it and wouldn't mind being "bored" the rest of my life.
Damn it!

How am I supposed to snag myself one of you guys if you keep in-breeding!? :angry:
 

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Thank you for giving your experience with an ISTJ. You can only form your opinion on ISTJs you have met, so thank you for explaining. I am not really "in touch" with my F side but I do try to understand people and where they are coming from. I prefer to think of myself as more laid back, but I know some people who would claim otherwise >.>
All in all I'd take a consistent, exceedingly genuine (one might call him too genuine) dad over a manipulative, inconsistent one. Nothing screws up kids like not knowing where you are with your parents, in my opinion.

I'd say consistency is a good point about him, he tries, perhaps in humorously bad ways sometimes, but doesn't waffle about. He sees errors and attempts to fix them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
To the outside world, I guess my husband and I look boring. Conflict between us is rare, and then usually due to a misunderstanding rather than a personality clash. Most of our time together is spent quietly at home. Neither one of us is a party person. We are so compatible that we often say the same thing at the same time, or at least one of us says something, and the other was thinking it. It's like being married to a male version of myself. And hubby has noticed that too. He observed when we first got together, "I've been watching your body language and your mannerisms. It's like watching me." Now and then we catch ourselves "mirroring" each other, sitting in exactly the same pose with our hands and feet the same way, but opposite direction. I'm left-handed, probably has something to do with that.

But I love it. Absolutely love it. I hate drama. I've had enough of it and wouldn't mind being "bored" the rest of my life.

That sounds quite nice. I am no where near a party person and would not want one as a partner. I can see that when my ESTJ cousin that roommate with tries to drag me out >.> Actually, there is an ISTJ girl at my work that I like but I suck with words during a face to face conversation :(
 

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That sounds quite nice. I am no where near a party person and would not want one as a partner. I can see that when my ESTJ cousin that roommate with tries to drag me out >.> Actually, there is an ISTJ girl at my work that I like but I suck with words during a face to face conversation :(
Hubby says he sucks with words too. And he pretty much does... it's just not a gift of his. Maybe there is some other way you can communicate. We met online and started off with e-mail, then telephone, and by the time we actually met face-to-face, it was like we already knew each other. I guess you don't have that option with this co-worker, so you might try the traditional smile at her, give her a rose, etc. And *tell* her you suck at face-to-face conversation. If she's like me, she'll appreciate the honesty.

Damn it!

How am I supposed to snag myself one of you guys if you keep in-breeding!? :angry:
LOL. But wouldn't inbreeding produce more of us?
 

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I don't mind ISTJs. I get along with ISTJs, as I do with almost everyone else. Even ISTJ teachers I had valued me, although they did get on my nerves a little. ISTJs seem to lack a sense of humor. Not that everyone has to be a comedian but they don't really get any jokes or imagination. In an ironic way, it makes them funny because you can always mess with them and they'll never know. Or they'll say something and be too naive to realize what it really means.

But basically, I'm not bothered by ISTJs. I don't hang out with most of them but I can find some conversational topics to chat with them. Also, if they're balanced enough to get humor and understand feelings/creativity, then we can hit it off better. The only two times they really get on my nerves are...

-When we compare ideologies
-When they're in an authoritarain position above me.
 

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That sounds quite nice. I am no where near a party person and would not want one as a partner. I can see that when my ESTJ cousin that roommate with tries to drag me out >.> Actually, there is an ISTJ girl at my work that I like but I suck with words during a face to face conversation :(
Ok, so I seriously know I'm shooting myself in the foot by actually HELPING contribute to ISTJ-ISTJ relationships, but I have to.

It's in my nature.

Damn you INFP urges!

Ok, so, here's what you do -- don't have a face to face conversation. Don't worry about breaking the ice with the intention of asking her out. You're stressing out about making a good first impression.

You don't need a good first impression to ask a person out. Just be yourself -- talk about what she does at the company, discuss work since you're both at work.

Once she knows who you are, then you can start doing things like talking about what she likes to eat or something. Meaningless stuff. The weather, movies, books, anything you think she might be into.

But the key is -- don't think about asking her out. Worry about establishing that initial connection more. Asking her out comes later. Take it one step at a time. You're looking at your goals later, and they're scaring you. The closer you get to your goal, the less intimidating the journey seems.

So just take it slow and do it comfortably, at your own pace.

But don't think about it so much! Don't think about how you're not good with words.

In the immortal words of Hamlet --

Words, words, words.
Words are just a form of expression. If you aren't comfortable with words ,then express yourself some other way. Write her an email, write her a post-it note, send her a text message, hell, take a picture of yourself with a piece of cardboard for all I care!

But do it with how you're comfortable.

Confidence is definitely something people pick up on, and as an ISTJ asking out another ISTJ, you want to appear to have your feet planted firmly on the ground.

So be on your turf when you finally go through with it.

And stop thinking.

You're a thinker.

Thinking will undo even the strongest of glues, bring down the tallest of towers, undermine the greatest of walls.

Don't think, just do it.

Because if you go in thinking, you'll fail.

BradyLadyWA said:
LOL. But wouldn't inbreeding produce more of us?
Yes, but by the time your children are old enough for me to date, I'll be like... near 40 :confused:

And they'll probably be dating other ISTJ if t his rate of inbreeding keeps up...
 

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I adore them. I dont see them as emotionless...I see their core which is very similar to mine. I understand their need for time alone, their need to take in a lot of information and need for security. They crack me up....and NEVER bore me...... they stimulate me. And way sexy, for sure.
I even get the withdraw.

This is nothing purposeful, it just happens over and over and over. Like magnets to one another. I have this with ENTJ's also (magnet effect).

They ground me. My muse.
 

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do you get our style of humor? Just put down your opinion of an ISTJ :p
ISTJ humour is so subtly peverse it's fucking hilarious.
My father on first appearances seems humourless and very serious but once you get to know him, he is one of the trickiest bastards ever.
Once at work, he told me one of his co-workers feel asleep so he grabbed a permanent marker and wrote on his forehead I AM GAY, lmao.
Another time for April Fool's he actually managed to trick me into believing my school had been burned down, and it was on the news, so I didn't have to go, and I actually got so excited until he revealed to me it was a joke, and I had to go anyways.
ISTJ's are coolio in my book for sure.
 

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That sounds quite nice. I am no where near a party person and would not want one as a partner. I can see that when my ESTJ cousin that roommate with tries to drag me out >.> Actually, there is an ISTJ girl at my work that I like but I suck with words during a face to face conversation :(
My friend-girl (not girlfriend) is an ISTJ. You should definitely tell her bluntly that you are interested in her! DO NOT BEAT AROUND THE BUSH! I know it doesn't seem right, but it's the only type of girl you can do that to who will actually appreciate it! :frustrating:
 

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ISTJ humour is so subtly peverse it's fucking hilarious.
My father on first appearances seems humourless and very serious but once you get to know him, he is one of the trickiest bastards ever.
Once at work, he told me one of his co-workers feel asleep so he grabbed a permanent marker and wrote on his forehead I AM GAY, lmao.
...they do stuff like that and laugh about it. But try throwing a PIC joke or question their authoritay and they'll get mad and start going apeshit:crazy:
 

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I like ISTJs, they are my favorite. We understand each other without having to communicate it with too much words. Too bad they dont like my extroverted side. :sad:

To the outside world, I guess my husband and I look boring. Conflict between us is rare, and then usually due to a misunderstanding rather than a personality clash. Most of our time together is spent quietly at home. Neither one of us is a party person. We are so compatible that we often say the same thing at the same time, or at least one of us says something, and the other was thinking it. It's like being married to a male version of myself. And hubby has noticed that too. He observed when we first got together, "I've been watching your body language and your mannerisms. It's like watching me." Now and then we catch ourselves "mirroring" each other, sitting in exactly the same pose with our hands and feet the same way, but opposite direction. I'm left-handed, probably has something to do with that.

But I love it. Absolutely love it. I hate drama. I've had enough of it and wouldn't mind being "bored" the rest of my life.
This is so sweet. I wish I can have such a pieceful relationship like this. :happy:



 

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Frustrating as all fuck. Endless debates where he comes across as arrogant and knows better. Tries to avoid looking at information that would prove him wrong, instead insisting that his 'information' from 20 years ago doesn't agree, so therefore YOUR information is wrong (and subsequently you have been foolishly conned), regardless of provable credibility of evidence (which also falls on deaf ears). Treats anyone in opposition as though they have a brain defect. Prone to selfish acts, ingratitude, poor observation. Unwilling to accept help in matters he knows nothing about to someone that is comparatively highly versed on a topic. Refusal to admit anyone in a position of - as he sees it - lesser authority, has knowledge that is better than his, or could be useful to him. Unwilling to change, incredibly stubborn with no apparent conviction to a cause or feeling - just stubborn for stubborn's sake. Seems oblivious to the fact he has faults, instead trying to 'correct' everyone else around him to make his faults correct. Completely out of touch with people's emotions, or uncaring whether his arrogant, off mark, and self-righteous statements offend.

Yes... currently pissed with conversations/debates/arguments/lectures with my INTJ father.... GAAAH!!!!

On a side-note he is forthcoming with saying 'I love you', and hugs (even though it feels pretty condescending after interacting with him for more than 15mins)
 
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