[The Ultimate Square Peg]

I've seen this on other forums, but couldn't find one for INFJs. (Sorry if one already exists!)

Here are some groundrules:

1. Keep it courteous...no name calling or insulting for the sake of insulting.
(negative comments are okay, but let's not just have a bash fest)


2. Let's work under the assumption that we are basing our relationships with other types on our experiences.
(That means that if one INFJ feels a certain way about ESTJs, they don't necessarily speak for all INFJs, and not all ESTJs are necessarily that way!)

3. INFJs only please! Unless you are a different type and would like to post what you think of INFJs.

I'll probably post my opinion later.

Here's a blank start:

ESTJ:
ENTP:
ENFP:
ESFJ:
ENFJ:
INFJ:
INTJ:
ISFJ:
ISTJ:
INFP:
ISFP:
INTP:
ISTP:
ESTP:
ESFP:
ENTJ:
​

General starter questions: Do you like them? Are you attracted to them? Do you understand them? Do they frustrate you? Do they bore you? Do they fascinate you?
Etc...

Be as detailed or general as you like!
​

 

[unico]

ENFP -- they interest me, have a lot of compelling things to say, and I appreciate their socialness (probably because of my Fe).
INFJ -- can get along with, have intense conversations where we really relate
INFP -- my personal favorite type, rather dreamy and laidback and I appreciate those qualities and enjoy being around INFP's
ESFJ -- Can get along with well if healthy, they really take me outside my mind and into the world; if less healthy they make me nervous
ISFP -- Some personality conflicts, but I appreciate their Fi, as I do with INFP; depending on the circumstances and health level of the individual I can really get along with ISFP's and enjoy them (my best friend and mother are both ISFP's, as well as a close friend on this forum I talk to regularly)
ISFJ -- can make good friends, take me outside of my mind and into the present, some jealousy may occur, especially in academics
INTP -- Good friends with a number of them, especially if they are more in-touch with their emotions; very interesting people
INTJ -- Can worry they will be a little "harsh" and hurt my feelings, but I have INTJ friends that are quite empathetic

I can't think of the types of other people I know...

 

[Perspicacious]

ESTJ: efficient, straight forward, I have a friend I've known for almost 25 years who is an ESTJ. While we're quite different sorts of people, we get along well.

ENTP: One of my favorite types for friendship, conversations (or sometimes, listening to them monologue hehe) is extraordinarily entertaining. I always learn something new when spending time with my ENTP friends.

ENFP: Another one of my favorite types for friendship. I used to date ENFPs a lot, I seem to draw them to me. While I don't think a romantic relationship is the best for me with this type, I can see how it works for some other infj/enfp couples. They're fun and innovative, less in a conversational way, and more in a going along with them as they move from activity to activity and seeing what happens.

ESFJ: I'm sure I've known many ESFJs, but I can't say I have a ton of opinions about them.


ENFJ: I...wish I got along better with this type more, but for whatever reason I have a really difficult time.

INFJ: I only know one other in real life and it's my mother... some of the INFJs on this forum seem great.

INTJ: Sexy-smart and gets stuff done, a little arrogant at times but not usually at a level that is obnoxious. I really like INTJs a lot.

ISFJ: Again.... not really sure?

ISTJ: Serious... kind of adorably serious.

INFP: This type can go either way, some of them are charming, gentle, and creative... some of them can be over-bearing in the application of their Fi.

ISFP: Similar to the Fi experience with INFP. I struggle with the overt emotionality of this type sometimes, though I do have many ISFP friends and family members I care for quite a bit.

INTP: I'm so biased with INTPs. This is my favorite personality type - the end. Their brains are glorious, their demeanor is enchanting, I almost have nothing bad to say about them.

ISTP: Not my favorite. I don't want to be disparaging, I'm sure there are some perfectly nice ISTPs.

ESTP: Driven and competitive, I actually like working with ESTPs in a career setting.

ESFP: There's a soft spot in my heart for ESFPs, but the nurturer in me can become frustrated by them.

ENTJ: Really interesting people, I think like ESTPs I like these people in a career setting where I'm in a position to run damage control. They're very efficient, they're very good at what they do... they're not very good at humility or maximizing the efficiency of the people who work under them by being sensitive to individual motivations and needs.

 

[misanthropologist]

ENTP: Funny, interesting, usually intelligent. Usually the sort of person I like the most.
INTJ/ENTJ: Rational, which is the best trait you will find in a person. Usually intelligent and agreeable.
ISFP: I understand the ISFP but we have little in common. Sometimes funny, sometimes uninteresting. Too shy to be enjoyable to be around and occasionally lacking in intellectual depth.

 

[WIPerspective]

I have friends of every type, and I can't really think of anything bad to say about them.. but I'll do my best. I may edit the post later...

ESTJ: can be controlling and very demanding at times, but once you really know them, they can be friendly and fun to talk to, especially if you have a common interest with them
ENTP: they can be very stubborn. One of my friends is an ENTP, and he has a lot of interests. they can be fun to talk to about philosophy and science.
ENFP: these are really great people. I believe they have better people skills than INFJs. one of my high school teachers is an ENFP, who loves making jokes
ESFJ: can be dramatic at times (dominant Fe there!) but they can be real sweethearts
ENFJ: I like ENFJs a lot (one of my closest friends is an ENFJ) but sometimes, they won't be logical, and they're so high up in the clouds that they forget the laws of reality. nonetheless, I admire them.
INFJ: sadly, I'm the only INFJ I know... so I can't answer this one.
INTJ: great to talk to since they have Dominant Ni like us INFJs! my best friend is an INTJ and we have this spiritual-like connection with each other.
ISFJ: ISFJ females are very friendly, and ISFJ males are very courteous. they are great to talk to (not philosophy-wise) and they can help me bring me back to reality if I've wandered off into la-la-land too long. LOL
ISTJ: I think of them as a mystery at times. At the same time, I admire them for their effort and their goals.
INFP: I often think that INFPs understand people better than us INFJs do. I have an INFP friend who's goal is becoming a doctor (not so much of a surprise) and he's really a unique person. INFPs are really great people.
ISFP: they can be awesome, especially if you both have a common interest (like an ISFP friend of mine and I both have an interest in art, so we'll draw sketches together on a big piece of paper and keep adding ideas and drawings on top of each others. It's one of the best things to do in the world)
INTP: These people, I can really talk to about science. I can sit with them all day and just talk about any kind of -ology there is. They have so much more insight than I do, especially because they are Ti-dominant.
ISTP: Just like the INTPs, except I can hang out with them more and do "sensor" stuff like sports. I don't do sports that often but it's good to get my body active with ISTPs.
ESTP: I used to really hate this type because they annoyed the crap outta me. Especially last year, I met an ESTP and I hated him (he was one of the only few people I could actually find a reason to hate) We're on cool terms now (we're actually friends, believe it or not). He's a football player, and I'm one of those Honors students (which everyone stereotypes in some way). He used to steal my books (especially when I was reading them, he would steal them in the middle of my reading). Somehow, we came to good terms. I can't really answer how.
ESFP: Some of them are really nice, and some of them are plain rude. I don't know what I can say much about them.
ENTJ: I have weird relationships with these people. One of my friends is an ENTJ and whenever he's in the mood, he starts picking on me and making fun of me. Especially when I'm trying to have a decent conversation with him. He interrupts me and starts calling me names, laughing as I tell him to shut up and start clenching my fists because he won't let me talk.

I may be lacking a lot of depth there, but I don't want to use a lot of time describing my relationship with these types.

 

[pigeon]

ESTJ: Honestly, I'm not too fond of the people I know who are ESTJs. I'm constantly surrounded by them, and it's somewhat overwhelming. I feel like we are completely different creatures.
ENFJ: I love the one person I know who I'm pretty sure is an ENFJ, although sometimes she seems kind of "lost".
INTJ: Very funny in a dark and witty way, although he can get fussy about little things.
ISTJ: Same as ESTJ, not a fan. I know a lot and am constantly overwhelmed by them. One I know is particularly obnoxious. He reminds me of an ant, all work and no play.
INFP: I love INFPs, I feel like we are similar enough to relate yet different enough that we balance each other out.
ESFP: Very kind and friendly, although somewhat air-headed and can unknowingly take advantage of people.

 

[The Ultimate Square Peg]

I have more time now, and I'm going to add my own input.

ESTJ: I've known 2...my (old) boss, and my MIL. I got along with both of them great at first. The latter I have problems with, but for reasons I think have little to do with our personality types...anyway. My boss and I got along great. He appreciated that I worked hard and was smart, and I appreciated that he appreciated me. I find that ESTJs are easy for me to relate to. I understand them and, although they don't seem to understand me, they let me be.

ENTP: I only know one, and he's my husband. So I'm a bit biased...afterall, I love him. He brings out the best in me and puts up with the not-so-great parts of me. Even before we dated, I always was highly attracted to his personality. I love how fun and loud and FUNNY he is. (Also, after checking out the ENTP forums a bit, I've decided that I feel the same way about most of the rest of them too!) When we do have problems, it's usually because he is trying to "fix" my problems and I want him to empathize, or I want to control something and he wants to let it be.

ENFP: I'd have to say ENFPs are my favorite type. I've known at least eight...maybe more, but I'm losing count. I'm attracted to ENFPs like moth to a flame. They are so warm and inviting! I love how exciting they are. I feel exciting around them. They are very emotional, however, and if they don't have that under control, I can ride the emotional roller coaster right along with them. I've had to seperate myself from a couple ENFP friends for that very reason. But the healthy ones I find refreshing and enjoyable.

ESFJ: I've known two confirmed ESFJs. When it comes down to it, I just don't get them...I just don't. They intimidate me and make me very nervous... they also hurt my feelings and offend me, and I think I offend them too. It seems to be a relationship of continuous misunderstandings and differences. Even the ESFJ I was friends with (good friends with, too) at one point did many things during our relationship to hurt me. I am not affirming and warm by nature, and I think that hurts them and makes them feel unwanted by me. I also find that the subjects of their conversations usually bore me...I find the topics shallow or meaningless often. And when I want to talk about theories or ideas, they either are disinterested or take a very different opinion and we are not able to agree. Something about our personalities seem to clash in a very distasteful way...

ENFJ: I'm not sure that I know any ENFJs...none confirmed, I should say.

INFJ: I know one other INFJ, but not well. And from my estimation, she is not a healthy INFJ at that. I can say, though, that when others have been angry at her, I can understand her side of things easily and empathize with her.

INTJ: I know two confirmed INTJs- both my cousins and two of my best friends. I love them. I don't know if there's much more I can say about that. I'm not sure if it's because of our personalities, though, or just that we grew up together. Regardless, I find them wonderful and we are often on the same page with things. We get each other and respect the others' needs for privacy or introversion.

ISFJ: I don't know any confirmed ISFJs.

ISTJ: The only ISTJ I know of is my brother, who I very much love. We do, however, see life very, very differently. I think that, if we were not related, we would not naturally be friends. We understand things in very different ways and have very different opinions on life. We get along well as long as there is no tension or conflict. It is when conflict arises that I become very emotional, which irritates him and causes him to be very rigid and harsh, which then hurts me deeply and causes me to react emotional, which irritates him....and so on...

INFP: I know two INFPs- a friend and my mother. I find that my relationship with both of them is reasonably pleasant (now- my relationship with my mom was very rocky growing up) and we are able to empathize with each other well. They are kind and even-tempered, but I sometimes find them to be frustrating because of their lack of definitive action. In the relationship between an INFP and me, I find that I am the more decisive, more emotionally intense and more logical one. This is, I think, the only interaction in which I find myself in that role.

ISFP: I don't know any confirmed ISFPs.

INTP: I know two INTPs and like them both quite a bit. I love the mystery of their personalities and find them intellectually fascinating. I had a crush on one of them early in highschool, but quickly found out that he made a much better friend than boyfriend for me. They are very quiet and brooding, and I like that. (Still waters run deep.)

ISTP: Don't know any confirmed ISTPs, either. :/

ESTP: ESTPs are a mystery to me. But not in the cool, interesting way like INTPs. I've known three ESTPs. One is my brother-in-law, one is my ex-boyfriend, and one is a coworker. I can say this for sure: first impressions were pretty good of all of them. And then I got further into the relationships with the first two and found that they frustrate me to no end. My ex-boyfriend (who left me after 4 months because he got bored) was a thrill seeker, a risk taker and a charmer. He swept me off my feet, and then crushed me moved on. My brother in law was nice while things were casual, and then began "picking on me," so to speak, and making hurtful comments towards me...I guess, if I were to sum it up, I feel bullied by ESTPs. They scare the crap out of me.

ESFP: Don't know any confirmed ESFPs.

ENTJ: My dad and my grandma are both ENTJs, and I get along with both of them well. They are very social and talkative, which helps me keep from feeling awkward...because I often just accept the silence as "normal" and let things stay awkward...and they don't. Which I very much appreciate. I've found that they are very sensitive and emotional, but don't often deal with that side of themselves. I like catering to that side. I feel like I can help them, and they like me. It's a good balance.

 

[Vivid Melody]

ESTJ: I may know one but it's hardly confirmed so not going to talk about him.
ENTP: I haven't had the pleasure of knowing any in real life. The ones on here seem pretty zany and funny which I like.
ENFP: Also don't know any in real life. Although my husband had an ENFP friend and he was very nice but also very loud and obnoxious if that makes any sense. Overall, I liked him because I could tell he was kind and genuine and when he would get loud he was just being himself. He also loved to joke which I like.
ESFJ: One of the types I am well acquainted with as both my mom and older sister as well as all three of my sister-in-laws share this type. My sister and one of my sister-in-laws are core type 7's (I'd be willing to bet on this) so they can appear very much like ESFP's but when you get right down to it, they are total ESFJ's. For every type, enneagram really tells you a lot. Two of them are also very messy (the type 7's) and the other is a total control/neat freak. Some of them get really into home decorating, fashion, arts and crafts, scrapbooking. Overall, I like them but been screwed over by all of them at some point but my sis-in-laws have serious issues. My sister is pretty close-minded while my mind has become more open minded as the years pass which I appreciate. They all love people and are good at talking to them. They are sweet and bubbly.
ENFJ: Only have known one and that is my husband. Probably my favorite of all the types. They are charming and insightful and are incredibly loving and affectionate. It doesn't get much better. My husband is even more insightful about people than I am. I would say I am more mysterious and imaginative although he is very imaginative as well.
INFJ: My husband has two INFJ friends. They are quiet and prone to becoming cynical but very gentle and kind.
INTJ: Only one I know in real life is my uncle and he's awesome. He's incredibly considerate and always genuinely cares about what you say. Most people don't but he does. He's calm, patient and long-winded. He's extremely easy to talk to and just a great person. Then there are some INTJ's online who are just complete assholes (not talking about on this forum). It really has everything to do with maturity.
ISFJ: One of my best friends is an ISFJ. She's super sweet. My mother-in-law was also an ISFJ. She was incredibly hard working, an amazing mother, great at organizing/planning, generous and kind.
ISTJ: Only one I've known is a complete snob but this has more to do with upbringing. If he wasn't a snob I would like him.
INFP: My younger brother is an INFP. He's funny and we connect on a deep level. We're really close. He's not very emotionally expressive at all but a very emotional person. Sometimes he frustrates me because getting him to do certain things is like pulling teeth but other than that, he's awesome.
ISFP: Can't say that I've known any unfortunately.
INTP: Same. The ones on this forum seem extremely intelligent though.
ISTP: Haven't known any.
ESTP: Pretty sure one of my uncles is this type but he's pretty insane so he is very obnoxious and always running his mouth. He's not very smart though. He's very hyperactive. He's always joking and mocking everything.
ESFP: Don't know any.
ENTJ: My dad is this type but he's a VERY immature one. He thinks he so efficient but fails to see how he's not in SO many areas. He's constantly worrying and blowing things out of proportion. He's very arrogant and thinks he's very funny and intelligent. He always thinks people will be interested in things just because he has an interest in them (such as a certain book or song). He's very out of touch with people and his own emotions. He never takes the time to change what he does wrong in relationships. It's always the other person's fault. He's a bit of a tyrant. I guess he takes after his father (an ExTJ) who is very similar. That is not to say he is not kind. He can be very kind but he can also be very snooty and an asshole without even trying. If you point it out to him he will apologize but the fact that he continues to do it says a lot and the fact that you even have to point out what he did wrong is also kind of sad as it is pretty obvious. He's very child-like and can get very competitive. However, he is always open to being critiqued and won't get emotional. The only problem is that he never really changes. I love him very much but I do not respect him.

 

[Pier 56]

(anything I say here only applies to the people that I know and the interaction between cog functions. Don't worry, I'm not labeling.)

ESTJ: I used to admire their force of personality, that is, until I realised that their motives aren't as "brave" as much as uncaring of peoples feelings. Simply put, I find ESTJs to be very mean and inconsiderate and proud of it. I rank them at #16 (last place).


ENTP: I find them to be the most fun type of all. One moment you can be talking about something silly, then the next moment you're talking about engineering and then philosophy ect, ect, ect. They're silly, but stable. I rank them at #1.

ENFP: Very fun and carefree with a surprising introverted side. I find their converstation to be quite the riot. However, the represenitive animal for the ENFP is the Otter, and for good reason. One moment they're cute, charming and fuzzy...

The next... They bite your fingers off... Good friends, but I have to be care full not to get to cozy.
I'm friends with multiple ENFPs. Ranked #5.


ESFJ: I like them, though not all the time. They're very nice and they try to keep a positive social dynamic going. But they can be a little too quick to judge. They tend to think that they're a few steps ahead of everyone. Ranked #11


ENFJ: I REALLY like ENFJs. They're very much like the ESFJs but they are a little bit more energetic, and a little more passive as far as their conflict ratio. They always try to make me feel happy (a rare mission for any type) and I really appreciate that. They tend to be a little paranoid, though (i.e."the moon landing was faked"). And they can talk it up for hours - a trait I find endearing. Sometimes they let their lack of Ti get the best ofthem though. Ranked #3


INFJ: I wouldn't want to be any other type (other than ENTP). INFJs are sort of a hybrid between the INTJs and the ENFJs. We're considerate of other people’s feelings and the group dynamic, but we're more logical about it than the ENFJs while nicer about it than the INTJs. INFJs can be overly sensitive to critisism and differences in opinion, making us (sometimes) difficult to keep unoffended.Ranked #2


INTJ: More intuitive than logical, INTJs are very interesting because they have the frightening power of Te but they temper it with their dom Ni. Making them much more personable than a lead Te. All and all, I like them… Ranked #4


ISFJ: They’re generally kind, though their dom Si can make them a little hesitant to new ideas and change, that can come off as stubborn. But, they’re generosity compensates for any arguments that could occur. Ranked # 10


ISTJ: I have had limited interaction with ISTJs. From the one ISTJ I know, they seem to have the same Si issue I mentioned with the ISFJ, except they’re not as concerned with peoples feelings as ISFJs making them a wee bit confrontational and stubborn at times. They seem to have tremendous competency in the workplace; total focus. Ranked #13


INFP: I find their Fi to be their Achilles and their salvation. They tend to bevery artistic (something I admire very highly) and they have a certain grace I like. But they also tend to come at things from a somewhat self-oriented perspective. #6


ISFP: I have no knowledge of the ISFP, but, extrapolating similarities from the INFP and ESFP, I can conclude that they have the same pros and cons. I often don’t get along with people that have Fi with high S. But I think that the ISFP may be an exception. #12


INTP: Their logic can be comforting and very inconsiderate at the same time. But I’ve noticed that, despite not understanding and occasionally demeaning the F’s, they tend to want to do the right thing, and I appreciate that a lot in people. #8


ISTP: Like the INTP, they have a lot of Ti and virtually no Fe. The single ISTP I know is very cold, calculating and spiteful (for whatever reason). If anyone has watched “Whale Wars” on Animal Planet, the Captain (Paul Watson, I think the name was) is an ISTP. He often behaves very cunningly but has little to no regard for the crew’s safety.

And I quote: “You’re in the trenches, so shut up”… ‘Nuff said… #15


ESTP: I kinda like the cunning nature of the ESTP, but I have so many communication problems with them!! When I think they’re gonna go right, they go left. I’m sure they can’t make me out either! Lol! #14

ESFP: I’ve known ESFPs to be very talented in the arts. I get along very well with them, despite all that Fi. They can be a little superficial at times. (But who isn’t). #7

ENTJ: They scare me… But I kinda like it when they’re on my side. I admire their cunning. #9

 

[GraphicallyAlex]

I love INFJs but they usually are bothered by my renegade-ness, or hate me
They can be hardcore at times, but I still would like to befriend one.
I've tried... but it farted out
The Ni is hard to keep up with at times, but I try...
The Fe is nice.. And so fun to annoy.
I wanna befriend an INFJ.
D:

 

[The Ultimate Square Peg]

I love INFJs but they usually are bothered by my renegade-ness, or hate me
They can be hardcore at times, but I still would like to befriend one.
I've tried... but it farted out
The Ni is hard to keep up with at times, but I try...
The Fe is nice.. And so fun to annoy.
I wanna befriend an INFJ.
D:

It's interesting you say that it didn't work out with an INFJ friend...I've noticed that my relationships with INFPs are difficult to maintain, because they just eventually...stop. So i have to keep working and working and working. Unlike more "aggressive" types (probably not the right word there) like ENTPs or ENFPs who are constantly pursuing a relationship...which I like. Not a big fan of initiating things, so it's hard to have a friend who is the same way.

 

[GraphicallyAlex]

It's interesting you say that it didn't work out with an INFJ friend...I've noticed that my relationships with INFPs are difficult to maintain, because they just eventually...stop. So i have to keep working and working and working. Unlike more "aggressive" types (probably not the right word there) like ENTPs or ENFPs who are constantly pursuing a relationship...which I like. Not a big fan of initiating things, so it's hard to have a friend who is the same way.

Hmm.. I could see that. It can be difficult for two I's to befriend one another. We are both mistrusting...
INFPs are mistrusting because we feel so deeply.. and hate it when it is trivialized or misunderstood. And we are possibly the most sensitive of the types... (You don't even have to do anything to insult us! We will imagine an insult for you!)
I'm not quite sure why INFJs are mistrusting but I imagine they would be afraid of being taken advantage of, or betrayed or something.

 

[The Ultimate Square Peg]

I'm not quite sure why INFJs are mistrusting but I imagine they would be afraid of being taken advantage of, or betrayed or something.

I can't speak for all INFJs, obviously, but I know I have a very hard time trusting people because I am afraid of rejection. Also there is the fear of betrayal, too, actually. But I'm a particularly guarded person and I trust very few people...so I may not be a very good spokesperson.

 

[11thNight]

My favorite types (or at least in theory):
INFJ: I currently know of 3 infjs in my life, one being my father. The other two I connected with immediately because we share the same sense of humor. It's nice to be able to connect with somebody who thinks the same way I do. Being around them makes me more aware of myself; there sort of like a mirror to me. We share a lot of our thoughts and opinions when we're together, but I don't know-- for some reason they don't really seem like they're "there" with me as much as other friends, but that could just be for these two people I guess.
INTP I really like intps though it's hard to say why. There really great people to have conversations with, and they'll come up with ideas and talk about stuff normal people wouldn't think of. They tend to keep to themselves, though, and since I'm shy, it's to "make contact" with them.
INTJ: I really like how they use their Ni and Te to figure things out and solve problems. I've met a few I think. One was kind of socially awkward, in that he doesn't seem to get that there are certain social nuances we go through for courtesy's sake. This isn't an insult, he just really didn't seem to get "you can't say this to a girl" or "usually you say bye and don't just disappear". The other intj didn't go out of his way to socialize but got along with people pretty. He had a great, sarcastic, witty sense of humor!

Types of the people I'm closest with:

ISTJ My best friend of all time is an istj. We are very different indeed but we somehow just get each other and have had almost no conflict. We are alike in that we both have strong values and morals and are very loyal.

ESFJ: Vary warm and caring. The put their true self out there and don't put on fronts, which I really appreciate. However, they can be overly trusting and end up getting hurt. Somethings they can be a little to emotional and can be emotionally manipulative.

ISTP: My brother is istp. I love him, but he can be a little hard to connect with. We usually end up talking philosophy. I think he's helped train my Ti a little.

ESTJ: Very similar to istjs, except you see Fi more in istjs, which I guess isn't telling you anything you don't already know. On the positive side of that, I think estjs can be more impartial and less prideful. However, the lower feeling preference makes it hard for me to connect to them.

 

[HAL 9000]

INFJ: "Woah, you're just... like... me! Weird... huh... ..." odd.
INTJ: INTJs are the shit! (developed, "mature" ones, anyway.) We approach things at different angles but always end up at the same conclusion. I help 'em use their feeling side, and they help me be more logical. Win-win!
ENFP: I don't even know why, but we get along!
INFP: "Wooo! Let's be creative together! We're so similar and yet different! fun!"

I haven't typed a whole lot of other people yet... :bored: