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I have seen several references to INTJ women as not being feminine. I have also seen posts indicating that INTJ men prefer their female partners to be feminine.

What do you consider feminine? Clothing, behavior, attitudes, intellect, accent? Describe.

Ladies, do you think you are feminine by your standards? Are there times when you are more or less feminine?

Gentlemen, what are the extremes of acceptable feminine behavior? What is too feminine; what is not feminine enough?
 

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I'm not super feminine, but I do have my moments.
I like to shop. There I said it.
I like purses, the bigger the better.
I wear some makeup. (only foundation and mascara)
I only own one dress, and it's black. I only own one pair of heels, and they're black.
I work at a stable, so I'm not afraid to get a little dirty.
I get my hair permed straight about every six months.
I give myself a pedicure every now and then.
 

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I detest super feminine women, I prefer those who are more down to earth and concerned with more than how they appear. Jeans and running shoes are more attractive than high-heels and mini skirts for example. No makeup is more attractive than pink nails and red lipstick. Shorter, practical hair styles are more attractive than elaborate hair styles. Also, having a very independent mind and being accepting of differences will get you much further with me than good looks. Being confident in who you are is really attractive.

On another note, if your idea of a date consists of me picking you up and driving you to a fancy restaurant ... well I don't want to have anything to do with you. Wanting to be treated as an equal and being unique goes with having an independent mind. Let's do something different :happy:
 

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I only wear eye-liner so that partially feminine
I shower at least one a day - that's very feminine

...I consider myself more of the 'powerful woman', kind of person. The one who would be the CEO and handles all the important stuff in life and drives a faster car than all the bankers at the Stock Exchange. I'd rather that than checking to see if my make-up is ok, and smelling like lavender 24/7. Feminine behaviour is over- rated not to mention time consuming.

mmmmh...discovering why the world exists or why my mascara is running? Decisions, decisions.
 

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I have seen several references to INTJ women as not being feminine. I have also seen posts indicating that INTJ men prefer their female partners to be feminine.

What do you consider feminine? Clothing, behavior, attitudes, intellect, accent? Describe.

Ladies, do you think you are feminine by your standards? Are there times when you are more or less feminine?

Gentlemen, what are the extremes of acceptable feminine behavior? What is too feminine; what is not feminine enough?
I consider feminine to be the opposite of masculine but that certainly doesn't mean that I can't find something attractive about almost every woman I meet

Me -> Opposite
Suits - > Dresses
aggressive -> coy
pitcher -> catcher :wink:

Beyond that I'm not sure gender plays much of a role in attitudes ( I care for my children just like my wife does, my wife is actually smarter than me )


what are the extremes of acceptable feminine behavior
Who are men to say what is acceptable for women? Is that a trick question??
But if my SO starts dressing/acting like a man (except role playing :unsure:) then I'm sure I would have a problem with that but it would be my problem not hers.
 

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There are "femininities" about me that I cannot control - such as my curves and facial characteristics that denote my gender. However I find that most men do not appreciate that I think and act "like a man".

- I much prefer my jeans or cargo pants, a t-shirt and hoodie, my chuck taylors (classic black hightops)
- My hair is kept short for minimal amount of time in the morning (I've got it down to about 45 seconds prep time)
- I only wear basic makeup for major events - like job interviews
- I'm not all gushy about feelings and I really don't give a rat's ass if you don't like that.
- I'm not going to pretend to be slightly dumber than guys (as it often seems that's what they want).
- I refuse to stoop to emotional or mental manipulation to get my way with them, which is what I see so many women doing.
- I won't sacrifice being respected in exchange for feeling loved.

I'd rather be alone. Quite happy that way, actually.
 

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I don't wear make-up, no one really needs it
Hoodies, tops>tank tops and other slutty clothing
Jeans>Skirts
For shoes, i like to wear something comfortable yet fashionable, no heels
I don't like dresses
I don't smack guys to 'mess around' like I've seen some girls do, that's kind of immature
I'm self-confident, i don't worry about my figure (unless I'm after a guy), i just like being and staying healthy/active
Personal hygiene is important to me
I only paint my nails if I'm bored
I sometimes use chap-stick
I like perfumes that smell good, and cologne on men
I don't notice a difference in me when it's that time of the month
I don't wear bathing suits to the beach, the attention it brings is annoying
I rarely straighten my hair with flat irons
I like going out to places, sometimes
I don't like going on dates with random guys
 

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Wow reading these posts it seems that "feminine" means for most of you "shallow and weak", that's disturbing (even moreso to read it from girls).

For me it's not about the clothes, or the makeup, or the job or whatever, it's about... a way of being, I don't really know how to explain.
I've seen girls dressed up all pretty and sexy looking like RnB princesses but to me they weren't feminine at all, they were rude and vulgar and inelegant in the way they talked, the way they walked, interact with others and each other etc...
And some of the most feminine girls I know would be considered like "tomboys" or "tough-skinned" by most people.

To me feminity is not in liking stupid reality shows or wearing lipstick or letting men take all the decisions, it's in a choice of words, a gracious movement, a smile, a way to carry oneself... It's a "vibe" or "aura", not the sum of random traits which are mostly considered as "bad" by society/in men.


~edit : shit I just sounded like some radical feminist... I shave my armpits and I don't hate men, I swear! :sad:
 

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oh yeah, forgot one thing. i like girls with relatively long hair. that helps the initial glance move onto a second or third
 

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Having grown up with Gender Identification Disorder my ideas around feminity have changed as each year passes. I have grown out of it for the most part and have gone a total 180 degrees from what I used to be like.

Things that make me feminine-

- I have floristry under my belt as my trade (though there are many men in the field)
- I dress mostly in very feminine clothes especially those that accentuate my curves ( dresses, skirts, blouses, a little bit of cleavage)
- I do my hair every morning with a straightener and blow dryer
- I have a short stepford wife hair cut
- I wear perfume
- I wear pantiehose
- I like fancy lingerie
- I wear a lot of makeup
- I wear a lot of jewelery
- I don't wear heels very often, but I try to wear feminine shoes a much as possible
- I am a belly dancer
- I am obsessed with birthing videos
- I am submissive (to the right guy otherwise I am totally dominant)
- I want to be a stay at home mother
- I like to be kind, loving and nurturing
- I am the ultimate hostess
- I am expressive in my emotions
- I like to dote on the person I am in love with

Things that make me masculine-

- I like video games
- Ultimate date is paintballing and Dance Dance Revolution
- I dislike other women for the most part unless they are extremely T heavy
- I am very alpha
- My generalized way of thinking is very masculine
- I am better at maths and science than at english
- I like wrestling and beating up my friends
- I much prefer the company of men
- I love science fiction, loath romantic comedies
- I can be confrontational
- I like strategy games even if I am not that great
- I need a lot of space and alone time... I don't have the stereotypical need to be cuddled and pampered all the time
 

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I look like a woman, there is no denying that. I don't care about gender roles, being caught up with whatever role I am supposed to do. I'm not angry about the way society seems to want to hem me into being stuck in subordinate roles....I usually shock everyone around me by just sidestepping them and march to the beat of my own drum at least as much as I can. I'm human first, woman second.
It really means little to me what people think about my "femininity". I am what I am. Jeans and t-shirt FTW. I still look like a woman:tongue:
 

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Wow reading these posts it seems that "feminine" means for most of you "shallow and weak", that's disturbing (even moreso to read it from girls).

To me feminity is not in liking stupid reality shows or wearing lipstick or letting men take all the decisions, it's in a choice of words, a gracious movement, a smile, a way to carry oneself... It's a "vibe" or "aura", not the sum of random traits which are mostly considered as "bad" by society/in men.
Some definitions for "femininity":
- Femininity (also called womanliness) refers to qualities and behaviors judged by a particular culture to be ideally associated with or especially appropriate to women and girls.
- womanly: befitting or characteristic of a woman especially a mature woman; "womanly virtues of gentleness and compassion"
- a gender that refers chiefly (but not exclusively) to females or to objects classified as female

While I agree with you on what femininity is NOT about, even the definitions denote that femininity is based on subjectivity, on however a culture or society in general perceives it, perceives how its women are, or how they should be... and it is VERY sad that women are judged so strongly by such f-ed up means, especially for us INTJ women.
 
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